Mid Week Madness

the Oxford English Dictionary — the go-to for all things wordtastic — defines diplomacy as 'the profession, activity, or skill of managing international relations, typically by a country's representatives abroad.'

the key words in that definition are 'profession' and 'skill.'

sane countries chose their diplomats from a body of skilled professionals who have made it their life's work to know how to say exactly the right thing, in any situation — because it makes no sense for a country to have hothead fuckwits mucking about, barking out crazy shit and blundering into wars.

that's why it's always super fucking hilarious to watch Mad King Donny conduct high-level foreign policy by the seat of his pants while melting all the way down on his crappy app.

"What Vladimir Putin doesn't realize is that if it weren't for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia, and I mean REALLY BAD. He's playing with fire!"

is there any other country on the planet whose chief executive's social media is a 24/7 firehose of petty grievances?

spoiler alert: the answer is no, because it's just fucking insane.

I cannot stress this enough: Mad King Donny should not be conducting foreign policy via a series of colicky rage-posts. it accomplishes nothing, and it's just embarrassing. the world is laughing at us.

can someone please take away Dear Leader's phone?

but let's look at what Donny's saying: 'if it weren't for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia, and I mean REALLY BAD.'

excuse me, but what 'REALLY BAD things' has Donny personally kept from happening to Russia? who the fuck does Donny imagine he's working for? last time I looked, Donny's title was President of the United States, not Protectorate of Russia.

I'm so old, I remember when American presidents looked out for the interests of their own country — not those of our adversaries.

Donny's having the saddest of saddy-sad sads right now because — after twelve years spent sucking up to Putin in a pathetic effort to be his bestie

it's finally dawning on this dilapidated old dotard that Vlad is never going to be his friend. Putin's been playing Donny like a fiddle since day one.

remember how Donny campaigned on the ludicrous boast that he would end Russia's war on Ukraine in one day? well, here we are, 128 days later — and guess what: Putin's war rages on, with no end in sight.

Putin's an expansionist. his goal is to rebuild the Tsarist Russian Empire of the 19th Century. it's a goal that includes annexing Ukraine.

but here comes Mad King Donny, the delusional dipshit who imagines he's The Greatest Deal Maker of All Time. he's gonna fix everything. he's gonna solve all this war shit by flattering Putin, and remind him what great pals they are — and maybe even throw in the promise of a golden tower in Moscow.

but none of that laughable bullshit's worked, so now Donny's gonna try threats — by telling Putin he's "playing with fire." oh joy, one nuclear power telling another that they're 'playing with fire.' what could go wrong?

tell me, Donny, does this look like a guy who gives one fuck about your threats?

Putin's laughing at Donny. all of Russia is laughing at Donny. for fuck's sake, even Russia's official state media is laughing at Donny. look what Russia Today posted to their not-twitter account.

President Trump warns Moscow, claiming Russia avoided 'REALLY BAD' consequences only thanks to him 'Putin doesn't realize… he's playing with fire!' — Trump's message leaves little room for misinterpretation. Until he posts the opposite tomorrow morning."

does Russia have Mad King Donny's number, or what? they know he's an erratic dope who can be depended on to contradict himself the very next day — and they're taunting him about it, right to his face.

hey, remember when Donny said this about Putin in 2016?

"I don't know anything about him other than he will respect me."

yeah, I don't think so.

Donny is all 'come on, Vlad, you owe me one' — and Russian state media is all 'die mad, you salty bitch.'

no one respects Donny.


"I told Canada, which very much wants to be part of our fabulous Golden Dome System, that it will cost $61 Billion Dollars if they remain a separate, but unequal, Nation, but will cost ZERO DOLLARS if they become our cherished 51st State. They are considering the offer!"

I have a question for President Dumb-Ass: is Canada in the room with us right now?

Golden Dome, to catch you up, is Donny's expensive, unworkable fantasy to protect America from the threat of missile attacks — but it's basically just a scam to shovel billions of dollars into the Space Nazi's pockets.

Golden Dome is based on Israel's Iron Dome defense system — but because Donny is a fucking child, everything always has to made of gold.

so here's Donny, claiming that he's been talking to 'Canada,' and that they're 'interested' in become our 51st state, so they can get in on some of that sweet golden domey goodness.

I guarantee that none of that is true. Donny didn't 'talk to Canada.' Canada isn't 'interested.' Donny's just making shit up.

once again, the president of the United States is typing fever-swamp hallucinations into his phone, and farting them out into the world. why? to accomplish what? does Donny imagine that Mark Carney is going see Donny's not-tweet, and go 'oh yeah, I guess we should become America's hat'?

Donny is living a dream world. Canada does not want to be our hat — and the promise of an expensive, unworkable, pie-in-the-literal-sky defense system that will never be built isn't going to change that.

it's bad enough for Canada that they find themselves living above a meth lab. they don't want to become part of that shit.


oh look, it's not just Russia who has no respect for Mad King Donny. Wall Street is mocking the shit out of Dear Leader, too.

that four letter code word is TACO. here's what it stands for:

Trump Always Chickens Out.

It refers to the president's tendency to announce massive tariffs, causing the markets to plunge, only to back off days later, causing them to rise again.

TACO is now an official investment strategy.

Ted Jenkin, president of Exit Stage Left Advisors, told the New York Post there's now a simple strategy on Wall Street based on those shifts.

"Once he delivers bad news, investors are buying those stocks when they are beaten down waiting for him to chicken out and watching those stocks rebound in value," he explained.

so now, even Wall Street is laughing at the Mad King — and enriching themselves at the same time.

heck of a job, Donny.

Post Memorial Day Madness

yesterday morning, the president of the United States woke up, picked up his phone, and tapped out a Memorial Day message of peace and love — and that message was WAAAAAH MY DIAPER IS FULL WHY WON'T ANYONE CHANGE MEEEEEEEE?

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL, INCLUDING THE SCUM THAT SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS TRYING TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY THROUGH WARPED RADICAL LEFT MINDS, WHO ALLOWED 21,000,000 MILLION PEOPLE TO ILLEGALLY ENTER OUR COUNTRY, MANY OF THEM BEING CRIMINALS AND THE MENTALLY INSANE,THROUGH AN OPEN BORDER THAT ONLY AN INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT WOULD APPROVE, AND THROUGH JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER, AND RAPE AGAIN — ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY. HOPEFULLY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, AND OTHER GOOD AND COMPASSIONATE JUDGES THROUGHOUT THE LAND, WILL SAVE US FROM THE DECISIONS OF THE MONSTERS WHO WANT OUR COUNTRY TO GO TO HELL. BUT FEAR NOT, WE HAVE MADE GREAT PROGRESS OVER THE LAST 4 MONTHS, AND AMERICA WILL SOON BE SAFE AND GREAT AGAIN! AGAIN, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY, AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Donny's such a funster, isn't he? stay classy, you deteriorating homunculus.

where do you even start with this toxic all-caps sump-pit of grievances? these daily assaults by a tinpot dictator wanna-be make it easy to forget that none of this is normal. normal people don't act like this. they don't wake up and immediately bark out a childish rehashing of every grudge. they don't lie awake a night, plotting revenge.

as always with the shit Donny pulls, it's just so fucking embarrassing. this is our president, and the rest of the world can only look on in horror.


with the Airing of Grievances out of the way, it was time to do some presidenting.

it being Memorial Day, Donny made an appearance at Arlington National Cemetery — and oh look! he brought his Emotional Support Flunkies along with him.

check out Couchfuck McGee and Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, doing Donny blue-suit-red-tie cosplay. together with Dear Leader, they were the Three Treasonous Stooges.

Donny laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Who Went To Vietnam In Donny's Place After Donny Got A Quack Doctor To Gin Up A Bullshit Note About Imaginary Bone Spurs.

then it was time for speechifying. if you had Donny Makes A Solemn Occasion All About Himself on your Batshit Bingo card, congratulations, you win!

let's listen in as the dilapidated dotard with the attention span of a coked up squirrel pinballs from reading from prepared remarks to getting distracted by a big number to praising himself for his imaginary accomplishments to concocting a whole new theory of why the 2020 election was stolen.

"…immense and ultimate sacrifices they offer. only the faintest glimpse at the—infinite grace we—have received from all who laid down their lives for America over the last two hundred and fifty years, we're gonna have a big, big celebration, two hundred and fifty years. in some ways, I'm glad I missed the second term where it was, because—I wouldn't be your president—for that most important of all in addition we have the World Cup and we have—the Olympics. can you imagine? I missed that four years, and now, look what I have, I have everything. amazing the way things work out. God did that."

oh great, Lord Fuckwit thinks he's on a mission from God

what our demented president is telling us here is that God himself rigged the 2020 election so that Donny could preside over America's big birthday. delusions of grandeur don't get any more grandly delusional than that.

why do these megalomaniacal shitwits always imagine that their entire life is some divine journey cooked up by their sky-daddy?

does Donny really imagine that God was up there somewhere, watching that Arlington speech on some ethereal flatscreen turned to Fox News, a beer in one hand, punching his fist in the air with the other, and going 'fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about. hey Jesus, get in here and check out how a real president acts.'

how sad for Jesus, to have a parent brainwashed by Fox. we've all been there, bro.

do you think Donny runs this drek by anyone before he sends it dripping out of his rancid anus-mouth?

"hey Stephen Miller, listen to this. I'm going to tell everyone I was sent by God."

"oh that's great, sir. now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to lunch."

now let's all gaze in wonder as Mister All The Best Words invents a new one

"… as a linguist, translator, and cryptologogic …"

I love how Donny's left hand flails helplessly as a word he's never seen before appears on the teleprompter and he mangles the shit out of it. he has no fucking clue what he's looking at, and his hand gives it away. that's why you're supposed to read this stuff in advance, dumb-ass.

so, did The New York Times sanewash that shit? of fucking course they did.

if you were watching Donny's speech, you may have assumed you were witnessing a grandiose narcissist in the full bloom of cognitive decline rambling incoherently about a bunch of shit that never happened, but no — Donny was just praising some of his personal achievements.

thank God we have The New York Times to set us straight.

it's all part of His plan, right?


here's your hero of the day: 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley.

this past weekend — while our dipshit president was blithering incoherently about yachts and trophy wives to West Point cadets — Pelley gave the commencement address at Wake Forest University. he ripped Donny-Convict-style fascism any number of new ones.

but in this moment — this moment, this morning — our sacred rule of law is under attack. journalism is under attack. universities are under attack. freedom of speech is under attack. and insidious fear is reaching through our schools, our businesses, our homes, and into our private thoughts. the fear to speak — in America."

"power can rewrite history with grotesque false narratives. they can make criminals heros, and heroes criminals. power can change the definition of the words we use to describe reality. diversity is now described as illegal. equity is to be shunned. inclusion is a dirty word. this is an old playbook, my friends. there's nothing new in this."

in a time when so many of our institutions are failing us and kowtowing to God-Emperor Donny, it's refreshing to hear a journalist finally speak truth to power, plain and simple. thank you, sir.

did MAGA lose their shit over Pelley having the temerity to call out Dear Leader? of fucking course they did.

boo fucking hoo, New York Post. put a binky in it.

The Hitchhiker

This is one of my favorite paintings, done in…1979?

Getting a version from ChatGPT took a lot of work. A dozen iterations and it's still not exactly what I want, but it's damn close.

For some reason it really wanted to put the guy in the road instead of off to one side.  The trouble is, with each generation it changes the car itself.

By the time I finally got the perspective right, and the hitchhiker the proper distance down the road, the vehicle had completely morphed into something that bore little resemblance to my original painting.

Maybe the guy just can't get picked up, and these are all separate cars…

I Don't Know If I Should Be Flattered Or Outraged

Prompt: Make photorealistic using color palette of original image. Place two suns in the sky and make both characters male.

My original painting from 1979.
How ChatGPT interpreted it.
My original painting from 1980.
ChatGPT's version.
My sketch from 1977.
Chat GPT's interpretation.
My painting from 1985*
How ChatGPT sees it.

I know what I'm going to be doing for a while.

That being said, ChatGPT does manage to come close to my original vision for these pieces, although it misses details here and there. I don't hate them, and truth be told I'm kinda surprised at just how good they all turned out. I'm sure I can get them even better if I add more to the prompts.

*This was painting based off what came to me in a meditation one afternoon. I was sunning myself on the deck of an ancient Egyptian vessel in the Mediterranean, when all of a sudden I heard a strange noise in the distance and saw the white vehicle appear on the horizon and fly overhead.

ChatGPT

Prompt: Make this photorealistic.

My original sketch from 1977.
GPT's photorealistic version.
My original sketch from 1977.
GPT's photorealistic version.

I don't hate them…

Monday Madness

this is an updated version of my Memorial Day post from May 27, 2024.


today is Memorial Day. you're going to hear a lot of bloviating from the Usual Republican Suspects about how much they honor and respectour nation's fallen heroes.

they're going to be all over social media, tweeting out the same old boilerplate platitudes about duty and sacrifice.

it's all bullshit. the GOP fucking hates our troops.

as always, watch what they do, not what they say.

soldiers, sailors and marines are useful props whenever some asshole conservative needs to burnish their "patriot" cred, but when it comes time to actually support them — say, by helping them when they're in need — it's a completely different story.

here we have a bunch of Republican Senators fist-bumping. why? because they just blocked a bill that would have expanded healthcare coverage for military veterans exposed to toxic burn pits during their service.

who the fuck celebrates that?

awesome job, you evil soulless hypocrites — because nothing says "we support our heroes" so much as "just fucking die."

fast forward to this year. in April, the Space Nazi's merry band of pimply DOGE incels showed up at the Department of Veterans Affairs and said good news, everyone — you're all fired. they then took a wrecking ball to the place.

right now, the VA is so understaffed that veterans calling in with need for assistance can't get anyone to answer the phone. that's "just fucking die" on steroids.

listen up, shitheads: you send a person into a war zone and tell them to fight for their country, and when they come back injured and permanently disabled, you fucking well take care of them — forever.

it's basic human decency.


head-trauma poster boy Tommy Tuberville is a complete bag of shit in every way. he's posted an eight minute video about how super fucking grateful he is for our troops. don't bother watching it, you'll just get stupider.

"It's Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day is about more than just grilling out by the lake. It's a time to reflect and be grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom."

ugh.

let's not forget that Mr. Should Have Worn A Helmet When He Played Football single-handedly blocked all military promotions for the better part of a year. why would T-Tubes do this? because he had worked himself up into a big hissy over a Pentagon policy that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions. how dare they.

Terminally-Concussed Tommy so screwed with U.S. military readiness that a top Marine general ended up hospitalized from a cardiac event caused by the stress of having to do two jobs at once.

but sure, Tommy — please tell us once more about how you're "grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom." no, wait — don't bother.

just fuck all the way off.


here's something that white supremacy's middle manager, Steve Scalise, tweeted out on Veterans Day 2023:

"America is the greatest nation in the history of the world because of the bravery and sacrifices of our veterans. Join me in thanking and honoring all those who answered the call to serve our country and defend our freedoms—because without them we'd have neither. #VeteransDay"

Steve, with all due respect, you too can go fuck yourself.

let's have a look at your stellar record:

you voted against the VA Employee Fairness Act, the Veteran Service Recognition Act, the PACT Act (twice), the Equal Access to Contraception for Veterans Act, and the Ensuring Veterans Smooth Transition Act.

for a guy who claims to honor those who made sacrifices, you have an odd way of showing it.


last Veterans Day, Handy Oakley took a minute off from playing lap hockey to post this drivel:

"Without our Veterans the American Dream would not be possible. To anyone who has ever worn the uniform, thank you!"

sit down and shut the fuck up, you vapid bobblehead.

let's see how you show your appreciation: in your first term in Congress, you made 15 anti-veteran votes. in 2023, you voted to cut funding for the 49,000 veterans in your district by supporting a bill that would gut their health care.


and don't even get me started on this diaperload.

Cadet Bone Spurs has spent his entire life finding ways to insult and dishonor our troops. Biden-Harris HQ assembled this greatest hits video:

here's what this dipshit posted this morning on his own crappy app:

right back atcha, draft dodger.

let's not forget that in November 2018, as world leaders gathered at a cemetery in France to honor the memory of US soldiers killed while fighting in World War One, Donny blew the whole thing off — because it was drizzling lightly and he didn't want that weird tangle of piss-colored bullshit on top of his head to get wet. instead, he spent the day rage-tweeting from his hotel room. good times, bro, good times.

let's not forget this disgraceful episode:

on October 4, 2017, four US soldiers involved in special operations in Niger were ambushed and killed.

how did Commander-in-Chief Dickface von Fuckstain react? he told the families of the slain soldiers that "they knew what they signed up for" and then engaged in a petty twitter spat with a grieving widow.

then he went on TV to praise himself and brag about how he handled the situation better than Obama would have. he also disavowed any responsibility for the soldiers' mission.

let's also not forget that in conversations with his chief of staff John Kelly, Donny referred to prisoners of war as "suckers" because "there is nothing in it for them." he also called soldiers killed in action "losers."

then there was the time that the US Navy had to hide an entire fucking warship, the USS John S. McCain, because they knew that Trump would throw a shit-fit if he saw it.

what kind of overgrown diaper-baby gets mad at a fucking boat?

let's not ever forget that incident in 2024 when Donny barged his way into Arlington National Cemetery to do a disgraceful thumb's-up campaign photo-op while trampling over the graves of fallen heroes — and grinning like an asshole the whole time.

when an Arlington staffer — a US Army sergeant — tried to stop this abomination from taking place, Donny's thugs roughly shoved her out of the way, because fuck you, that's why.

while campaigning last year, he mocked Nikki Haley because her husband, an active-duty soldier, is deployed overseas.

"Where's her husband? Oh, he's away. … What happened to her husband? Where is he? He's gone," Trump said at his rally in Conway, his first visit to the state this year.

Michael Haley is deployed in Africa with the South Carolina Army National Guard in support of the United States Africa Command, his second active-duty deployment overseas.

hey, remember that Pentagon policy that got Terminally-Concussed Tommy Tuberville so upset — the one that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions? Tommy should be happy now, because Donny shitcanned it four days after taking the oath of office.


now I want to repost something I wrote on September 24, 2023 — because of all the shitty episodes regarding Little Donny Fuckface's callous treatment of our troops, this one just might be the rock-bottom worst:

meanwhile, another heartwarming story came to light this week, about Donald Trump's deep and enduring love and devotion for our nation's wounded combat troops.

At his welcome ceremony at Joint Base Myer–Henderson Hall, across the Potomac River from the capital, Milley gained an early, and disturbing, insight into Trump's attitude toward soldiers. Milley had chosen a severely wounded Army captain, Luis Avila, to sing "God Bless America." Avila, who had completed five combat tours, had lost a leg in an IED attack in Afghanistan and had suffered two heart attacks, two strokes, and brain damage as a result of his injuries. To Milley, and to four-star generals across the Army, Avila and his wife, Claudia, represented the heroism, sacrifice, and dignity of wounded soldiers.

It had rained that day, and the ground was soft; at one point Avila's wheelchair threatened to topple over. Milley's wife, Holly­anne, ran to help Avila, as did Vice President Mike Pence. After Avila's performance, Trump walked over to congratulate him, but then said to Milley, within earshot of several witnesses, "Why do you bring people like that here? No one wants to see that, the wounded."Never let Avila appear in public again, Trump told Milley. (Recently, Milley invited Avila to sing at his retirement ceremony.)

what a cold-hearted dick.

"why do you bring people like that here? no one wants to see that, the wounded."

imagine you're a severely wounded soldier. after five combat tours, sacrificing yourself for your country — you find yourself in a military hospital, minus one leg, your life permanently altered. you live though months of hell — bedridden, undergoing multiple operations and grueling physical therapy — and when finally you're discharged, you're confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life.

and what does the President of the United States — your Commander in Chief — say about you?

"no one wants to see that, the wounded."

fuck you, Donald Trump. you piece of shit.


let's look at how a real patriot honors our troops.

one year ago, President Joe Biden gave the commencement address to West Point's graduating class. afterwards, he spent over an hour saluting and shaking the hands of each one of the 1,036 graduates. he didn't ask what was in it for them. he didn't call them suckers and losers. no one had to hide any warships.


at this year's West Point commencement ceremony, after rambling incoherently about trophy wives to mystified cadets, Donny Convict teetered off stage and hurried the fuck out of there. the MAGA-cap-wearing shithead didn't shake a single hand.

he then spent the rest of the day cheating at golf at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.

Donny, Tuberville, Scalise, Handy Oakley, the whole worthless lot of them — the next time any of these grandstanding hypocrites starts going on and on about how much they love the shit out of our troops, remember: watch what they do, not what they say.

 

Vomiting It All Up

Backpfeifengesicht. That's all I'm gonna say.

If you know, you know. But shouldn't it have been 3 inchest to the left?

I think we already know the answer to that.

He wasn't lying – they have turned the economy around…in the wrong direction!

I've Been Busy

Gotta do what I've gotta do to remain sane in this felon-induced dystopian hellscape that seems to grow worse—and frankly, more absurd—with each passing day. This isn't just a glitch in the matrix any longer; it's fully metastasized  into a never-ending series of cascading failures.

Ben and I were talking about this today and we both came to the unpleasant  realization that even if the Orange Russian Daughterfucker were to drop dead tomorrow, the damage that's he and his minions have done in the last five months will take years—if not decades—to repair, and in all likelihood we'll both be dead long before the fabric of our democracy is fully repaired.

So I retreat into blogging, YouTube stereo equipment repair videos, and of course my MiniDisc obsession. Ben immerses himself in Tik-Tok, Ru Paul's Drag Race, and YouTube cooking videos—just to get some respite from the fact that orange anus-for-a-mouth is living rent free in our—and the rest of the world's—heads 24/7.

Every morning my first thoughts upon waking is, "We're still here. At least he didn't start World War III overnight. Is he dead yet? If not, what did he do to further destroy the country since last night?"

So you'll forgive me if I get a little obsessed with my weird, obsolete little hobby. It brings me joy, and there's precious little of that in the world these days.

Recommended…If You're Into That Sort Of Thing

I've had one Buddha-Bar recording (volume VI) in my iTunes for years. Probably picked it up from the Phoenix Library during the summer of 2003 when I wasn't working and undergoing cancer treatment. I pulled it up a couple weeks ago and burned it onto a MiniDisc and I've really been enjoying it, but curiosity led me to explore the other volumes in the series. Sadly, nothing came up in the library catalog search, but YouTube surprisingly delivered! I liked Volume 2 so much I snagged a physical copy from Discogs that arrived yesterday and I'm really loving it, and by the time you read this I probably will have already ordered Volume 1.