Voenix Rising

hey, remember back on the very first day of Donny's second reign, when he rung up Vlad Putin and was all 'listen, you Russkie fuckwazoo, you better cut this Ukraine shit out right now' — and just like that, the war was over?

yeah well, nobody else remembers that, either.

what we do remember is that months went by, and eventually, a few word-adjacent noises seeped out of Donny's rancid anus mouth about how 'well, I'm very disappointed that my bestie Vladdy won't do a ceasefire' — to which Vladdy grabbed his own crotch and was all 'hey fuck-o, I've got your ceasefire right here.'

get ready for Donny's latest clumsy-ass attempt to do a diplomacy: he's invited Putin to Alaska this coming Friday for a despot snugglebunny playdate, ostensibly to (look, stop rolling your eyes) negotiate a ceasefire in Ukraine.

it's a move that's clownfuckingly wrong on so many levels.

topmost: do you know why Donny and Vladdy picked Alaska as the location for their playdate? really, anywhere in Europe would make more logistic sense. look at how close those countries are to Moscow — but Putin's going to go the long way across the globe and travel thousands of miles to meet Donny in Alaska.

so, why there? no, it's not so Putin can, at long last, finally see Sarah Palin's house.

the reason for Alaska is that Putin has been declared a war criminal by the International Criminal Court in The Hague, and there's a warrant out for his arrest. America's great frozen north is one of the few places on the planet where Putin can go without ending up in handcuffs.

here's the thing about the ICC: they don't have a police force. through a treaty known as the Rome Statute, 125 countries have agreed to use their own law enforcement to make arrests and provide transportation to The Hague.

now, see if you can guess the names of two countries that haven't signed onto that agreement. that's right: the good old US of A, and Russia.

Donny's coddling a war criminal, and providing him with a safe haven.instead of arresting Putin, he will welcome him with open arms onto American soil.

once again, America's Mad King is an international embarrassment. our actual allies can only look on in horror.

by the way, you know who used to work at ICC, don't you? this guy.

Jack Smith, a.k.a. The Man Who Convicts War Criminals In The Hague. Donny fucking hates this guy, for some weird reason.

the Mad King just keeps making these tone-deaf foreign policy moves, because he truly doesn't understand how terrible all this shit looks to the rest of the world.

remember during his first reign, when he actually invited the Taliban to Camp David for a Fourth of July sleepover? when John Bolton told Donny that it was the stupidest fucking idea he'd ever heard in his life, Donny fired him via a tweet — and then canceled the cookout. good times. just another day in the incoherent life of America's Mad King.

speaking of John Bolton, let's hear what he has to say about Donny and Vladdy's despot playdate.

"this is not quite as bad as Trump inviting the Taliban to Camp David to talk about the peace negotiations in Afghanistan, but it certainly reminds one of that. the only better place for Putin than Alaska would be if the summit were being held in Moscow. so the initial setup, I think, is a great victory for Putin. I have a feeling this is sliding very quickly in Russia's direction. we're not quite back at February the 28th in the oval office, when Trump told Zelenskyy, you don't have any cards. but what's happening is that Russia and the United States are discussing what terms they're going to present to Zelenskyy. and it may well be that, Zelenskyy has no choice I have to say, from the strategic perspective, from the U.S. interest perspective, this was not good."

look, John Bolton is a blood-spattered warhawk who assured us that Saddam Hussein was hiding WMDs in Iraq. he's not our friend — but when he's right, he's right.

Donny's getting played by a war criminal who's a thousand times smarter than he is — and Donny's too fucking dumb to realize that he's conferred legitimacy onto a pariah who's been shunned by the rest of the world.

Bolton's right, this is a huge victory for Putin — because look at what Donny and Vladdy are cooking up.

over to you, Heather Cox Richardson.

U.S. and Russian officials are planning this summit to hammer out an agreement that will force Ukraine to cede to Russia its land currently occupied by Russian troops, as well as Crimea. This deal would hand Ukraine's eastern industrial territory to Russia and bless the principle that one country can seize territory from another through force. Observers note that once this principle is established, as Putin wishes, there will be nothing stopping him from invading Ukraine again as soon as his war-weary country recovers its strength.

this fucktastic load of bullshit again. Donny and Putin are going to come up with a plan that's identical to all the other plans they've come up with:Putin gets to go 'all this is mine now' and Ukraine will be cordially invited to go fuck itself. they're going to take this plan to Zelenskyy and go 'here's your shit sandwich, Volodymyr, you're welcome.'

when he heard this news, Zelenskyy was all yeah, fuck no.

"We will not allow this second attempt to partition Ukraine. Knowing Russia – where there is a second, there will be a third."

what is the fucking point of Donny and Vlad hammering out an 'agreement' that's identical to the previous failed agreements, when it's a non-starter?

Donny's allowing himself to get pantsed by Putin, just like he got pantsed in Helsinki in 2018.

There was surprise — even shock — when the president of the United States stood onstage alongside Russian President Vladimir Putin and accepted the former KGB officer's denials regarding that interference [in the 2016 election].

Trump was asked directly which one he believed: his own intelligence community or Putin. In so many words, Trump gave the answer: Putin.

Sen. John McCain, the Arizona Republican, called it "one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory."

no shit, John.

oh, and fuck Lindsey Graham.

To those who criticize President Trump for being willing to meet with Putin to end the bloodbath in Ukraine – remember Reagan met with Gorbachev to try to end the Cold War."

unctuous much, you ginormous kiss-ass?

"I'm confident President Trump will walk away – like Reagan – if Putin insists on a bad deal."

oh fuck straight off with this nonsense, Lindsey. Dear Leader wouldn't recognize a bad deal if it came to life, leapt off the page, introduced itself as Mister Bad Deal and said 'I'm a bad deal.' Donny is the low-wattage dumb-ass who, after his fourth casino went bankrupt, decided it would be awesome to open a fifth.

Donny's getting played. I hope he enjoys his pantsing.

here's how a real president deals with Putin.

now let's talk about something good. let's reacquaint ourselves with an old friend: Judge Tanya Chutkan.

A lawsuit demanding secret government records tied to Jeffrey Epstein has landed in the courtroom of a judge Donald Trump can't stand.

U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan — the same judge who handled Trump's federal election interference case — is now in charge of a new lawsuit filed by the Democracy Forward Foundation (DFF), according to New Republic. The group is trying to force the Department of Justice and FBI to hand over any communications about Epstein involving Trump officials, any contact between Trump and Epstein, and the infamous Epstein client list that former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi once said was on her desk.

how fucking sweet is that? Judge Chutkan, who has absolutely no tolerance for any of Donny's bullshit, gets to decide if the We the People get to see Epstein Files.

for expert analysis, let's hand things off to Nelson Muntz.

and now, here are your heroes of the day: the good people of the Cotswolds, England.

JD Vance, the doughiest pantload ever to be Vice President, is currently enjoying the seventh vacation he's taken in the six months he's been in office.

hat's right: you get two government-issued dolls and five pencils, but Couchfuck McGee gets seven vacations.

here's how the fine citizens of the Cotswolds welcomed JD.

have a great Sunday, everyone.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that's ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.