#defund DOGE #trump is a threat to democracy #trump is the enemy of the people #fuck maga #trump crime family #the most corrupt administration ever
Vomiting It All Up, Tuesday Edition
Fuck Trump
I also believe—because he is a sociopathic narcissist—that he does this shit simply to remain in the news cycle and keep people talking about him 24/7.
Fuckwit Preznit Has No Idea If He's Supposed To Uphold The Constitution
From Jeff Tiedrich:
scenes from a crazypants interview
imagine a United States president so callous that he tells America's struggling small businesses to piss straight up a rope. imagine a president so out of touch that he tells Americans they're greedy shitwads for wanting things.
now imagine a president so fucking ignorant that he has no clue if he's supposed to uphold the Constitution or not.
actually, you don't have to imagine any of that shit — because yesterday, Donny Convict sat down with NBC News' Kristen Welker and actually blithered all those things.
here's a fun passage from the Oath of Office that every incoming president swears to uphold. keep it in your mind, because there's going to be a quiz later on.
"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
got that? okay, here we go. now tell me if you think this is the most totally unhinged thing you've ever heard a president say.
Kristen Welker: "your secretary of state says everyone who's here, citizens and non-citizens, deserve due process. do you agree?"
Donny: "I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. I don't know."
Welker: "don't you need to uphold the Constitution as president?"
Donny: "I don't know."
oh. my. god. — he. doesn't. know.
folks, what did we just read in the Oath of Office, the one that Donny has now mumbled his way through twice?
SPOILER ALERT: YES YOUR LITERAL FUCKING JOB IS TO UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE OATH OF OFFICE YOU'VE TAKEN TWICE NOW. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. IT'S LIKE TALKING TO A FUCKING WALL.
now here's me, typing out that not-tweet.
magine if Joe Biden had said he "didn't know" if he was supposed to uphold the Constitution. the entire Wingnut Outrage-Industrial Complex would have begun howling in unison about how Sleepy Joe had finally lost all his marbles and was unfit for office. MAGA would have rioted in the streets. Hannity would have shit hot roofing nails on live TV.
but Dear Leader professes blissful ignorance about his primary duty as president, and all we hear from Republicans is deafening sounds of crickets.
because it's a cult.
now here's the guy who shits into a golden toilet, taking you to task for wanting too many things.
Welker: "you were at your cabinet meeting, and you said — I'm going to quote you — 'maybe the children will have two dolls instead of thirty dolls. and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally.' are you saying that your tariffs will cause some prices to go up?"
Donny: "no, I think tariffs are going to be great for us, because it's gonna make us rich."
Welker: "but you said some dolls are going to cost more, isn't that an acknowledgement that some prices will go up?"
Donny: "I don't think a beautiful baby girl that's eleven years old needs to have 30 dolls. I think they can have three dolls or four dolls … they don't need to have 250 pencils. they can have five."
ok, so the "beautiful baby girls" only get three or four dolls now — but what about the baby girls who aren't beautiful? can we let the heinous ones grab a few extra dolls, as, y'know, sort of a consolation prize?
three or four dolls, and five pencils. in just four months we've gone from the world's greatest economy to forced rationing, with Dear Leader making kingly pronouncements as to who deserves how much of what.
hey, how many shithole golf motels does each American get to own? because I'm thinking more than one is too many.
let's take a wander down memory lane.
in 1977, a sweater-clad Jimmy Carter went on TV, and asked Americans to turn their thermostats down a couple of degrees — and the entire country lost its mind.
how dare this fuckface peanut farmer tell us that we can't have everything? it's our God-given right as Amurricans to consume as much as we want.
right now, there are MAGA morons who have rigged their trucks to belch out as much soot and thick grey exhaust fumes as possible. they call it "rolling coal." why do they do this? because fuck you, that's why. nobody tells MAGA to conserve.
but mark my words: at the next family cookout, your drunk uncle — the one whose TV is permanently tuned to Fox News — is going to corner you, and tell you that your kid has too many pencils.
because it's a fucking cult.
meanwhile, while you're making do with your government-approved two dolls and five pencils, Donny's planning to take forty-five million dollars and flush it straight down the shitter.
he's spending it on a gaudy emotional support parade for his birthday — just like the kind they have in North Korea.
because America is now a third-world autocracy led by a fragile pit of need.
hey, instead of a parade, how about this draft-dodging coward lay wreaths on the graves of the five soldiers who took his place in Vietnam, and maybe mutter a few words of thanks to the quack doctor who ginned up that bullshit note about imaginary bone spurs that allowed Donny to get those five deferments. it'd be a lot cheaper, and we'll even let him do a fucked-up graveside thumbs up.
Donny has a message for America's small businesses, and that message is go fuck yourselves.
Welker: "are you considering tariff relief for small businesses?"
Donny: "why do you always mention that, you know — you pick up couple of little businesses. what about the car business? they're going to make a fortune."
yeah, commie. what about the giant corporations? what about the plutocrats?
I guarantee that right now, some MAGA dipshit with a persistent cough is driving a crappy car on crumbling roads past abandoned storefronts to a low-paying job and pumping his fist and going "hell yeah!" as he listens to some dime-store Rush Limbaugh knockoff explain that billionaires have been getting a raw deal in America, and Dear Leader is going to fix that.
because — say it with me — it's a fucking cult.
I'm so old, I remember a woman who campaigned on the promise to help Americans start their own small businesses.
whatever happened to her? all I can recall is that she had a funny laugh and couldn't prove she worked at McDonald's, so I guess America was right to kick her to the curb.
the stupid. it just fucking burns.
Welker: "when does it become the Trump economy?"
Donny: "it partially is right now, and I really mean this. I think the good parts are the Trump economy and the bad parts are the Biden economy."
I don't know how Kristen Welker kept herself from blurting 'what the fuck is wrong with you,' throwing her notes to the floor, and walking out.
and finally, last night, aboard Fuckface Force One, on his way back from Motel-a-Lago, Donny held a press gaggle.
"all costs are down. everything is down, other than the uh thing you carry the babies around in."
that thing you carry the babies around in — you know. that thing. what the fuck is it called? a shover? a pushinator?
could someone please get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a pudding cup, and help him to bed?
oh yeah, this fucking country is in great hands.
So. Much. Winning.
But It's Not A Cult
Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many.
The Week In Stupid
Courtesy Jeff Tiedrich:
Tuberville aces it, Nancy maces it, and so much more…
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let's look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: Tommy can you hear me?
failed coach Tommy Tuberville is a cautionary tale for why you should never play football without a helmet. let's listen in as Terminally-Concussed Tommy speaks out in support of embattled Secretary of Defense Little Petey Drunkdial.
"Let's be clear, Pete is not the problem. A lot of the media think Pete Hegseth's a problem. he's not the problem. he's the solution to the problem we've had."
sorry, what problem is Secretary of Defense Kegstand solving?
were there not enough piss-drunk embarrassments in the Pentagon?
was there some deficit of washed-out Fox News chat show hosts among the ranks of the military? too few reporters being texted war plans? not enough civilian spouses sitting in on classified meetings?
I'll give Plastered Pete credit, he absolutely fucking nails all those problems.
tuesday: all hail the glorious accomplishments of … um
this week marked the hundredth day of Mad King Donny's second reign, and Fox News was in a quandary: how do we put a positive spin on this dog's breakfast of complete fucking calamity?
they couldn't go with "Dear Leader shit on the Constitution and disappeared legal immigrants into a Salvadoran slave-labor gulag and also 'deported' a child with cancer who happens to be a US citizen, and oh hey, next week all the shelves in your supermarket are going to be empty because of the trade war" — because that shitfuckery is wildly unpopular, even with the Fox News crowd.
so what did Fox end up running with? this:
— declassified the JFK files
— ended federal support for paper straws
— ended production of the penny
oh man, that is … pathetic.
Fox left out renamed the 'Gulf of Mexico' to 'Gulf of America' — but maybe even that's too embarrassing to list.
better luck next reign, bro. meanwhile, here's Homer Simpson to play us out with some very sad trombone.
whomp-whomp.
wednesday: ai yi yi
oh look, the christofascist computer jockeys have been churning out more AI slop portraying their vision of the perfect American future. check out this nightmare fuel.
this abomination ticks all the boxes.
— a message up top instructing men to be productive, and women to be subservient.
— a white, impossibly blond couple sporting 1950s hairstyles and clothing.
— the missus is cradling her pregnant belly
— in the background is mid-20th-century suburban house.
— and there's a smiling black man who is super fucking pumped to be doing menial tasks for whitey.
wait, what the fuck? what was that last one?
it's the same old racist nonsense we've been hearing for decades. 'black folks were a lot happier when they knew their place. they just love being subservient to their betters.'
let's recall what that Duck Dynasty schmuck said back in 2013:
"They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: these doggone white people'—pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."
that's some Gone-With-the-Wind-level revisionist bullshit — only now it's been updated for the 21st century, thanks to malignant assholes with access to AI.
seriously — they're not even hiding it. check out this lunacy.
utter nonsense.
besides — everyone knows that the best-manicured lawns are mowed by a small boy being yelled at by a confused old man.
thursday: her pronouns are 'stupid' and 'fucking idiot'
oh look, the Scarlet Moron has been flapping her ignorant gums for airtime again.
Nancy Mace: "it's happening everywhere. first, it was the University of South Carolina with thirteen genders on a dorm application, and then I come to find out a few weeks later I was wrong. Clemson had fifteen genders — and none of the fifteen genders on their form had male or female. they had something like cisgender male, cisgender female — and I don't even know what that means. that's not science."
"that's not science." what the fuck does this caterwauling ninny know about science? here's a fun fact: even Google's janky AI is smarter than Nancy Mace. here's what it says about gender identity.
"There is no single definitive list of 15 genders. The concept of gender is fluid and diverse, encompassing a wide spectrum of identities. While some organizations and individuals may list specific genders, it's important to recognize that people may identify with multiple genders or gender identities that don't fit neatly into pre-defined categories."
how about that? a fucking computer program has more empathy than the entirety of the Republican Party.
I did a find a set of fifteen gender identities by once again using the Big Google Machine:
Agender, Androgyne, Bigender, Cisgender, Genderfluid, Gender-nonconforming, Genderqueer, Intergender, Intersex, Omnigender, Non-binary, Questioning, Transgender, Transsexual, Two-spirit
so, is Clemson using this exact list on its dorm application, or is Nancy Mace just cynically creating a manufactroversy? I don't know, and who fucking cares if Clemson does? it's nobody's business.
what I do know is that Nancy Mace is a broken-inside fuckwit with an unceasing need for attention that can only be described as pathological.
"I strongly support LGBTQ rights and equality. No one should be discriminated against."
"I have friends and family that identify as LGBTQ. Understanding how they feel and how they've been treated is important. Having been around gay, lesbian, and transgender people has informed my opinion over my lifetime."
that was Nancy Fucking Mace, back in 2021 — right after she'd been elected to the House by running on a platform of inclusivity.
friday: from the mouths of babes
hey, Texas State Rep. Nate Schatzline — why did you run for office?
"what got me involved was I was out on a prayer run one day. I was praying for my students, for our church, and about that time, I heard the sound of a baby crying. I took out my headphones, I look around — I was in the desert, we lived in California at the time, and now we're back in God's country, in Texas — I looked around and I couldn't find anything. so I kept jogging. about a mile later I heard the same baby crying — and all of a sudden the holy spirit spoke to my heart, and said 'that's the sound of the unborn that are going to die if you don't run for office and protect the unborn.'"
seriously, bro? that's what we're going with?
listen — I hear a baby crying, too. it's the Baby Jesus. I'm on the phone with the Baby Jesus right now, and he's telling me you're full of shit, and your fever-swamp fairy tale never happened.
oh, and you know what else the Baby Jesus is saying? that you need to stop being a reckless shitweasel and get your children vaccinated already.
that's right, Nate lives right in the heart of Measles Alley, and he hasn't vaccinated any of his spawn — because fuck you, science.
The next day, Texas State Rep. Nate Schatzline posted his own video, adding that his children attend Mercy Culture.
"I've gotten word that my children's school has been ranked the #1 most unvaccinated school in Texas & I'm upset…that we haven't celebrated sooner!" Schatzline wrote in the accompanying text.
maybe stop hallucinating about the 'unborn' and start doing something for the actually born.
Just Sayin'
No Additional Comment Necessary
…except to say, I'm still with her.
Well, JD?
Narcissistic Psychosis
I wouldn't put it past him…
Vomiting It All Up, Friday Edition
Don't worry…there'll be more, I'm sure.
Vomiting It All Up – Thursday Edition
Did the cunt forget her makeup this morning?
Always Worth Reposting
Senator Chris Murphy asks us to post this statement to the public. Report from the Senate Floor: "Last night in the Senate, something really important happened. Republicans forced us to debate their billionaire bailout budget framework. We started voting at 6 PM because they knew doing it in the dark of night would minimize media coverage. And they do not want the American people to see how blatant their handover of our government to the billionaire class is.
So I want to explain what happened last night and what we did to fight back. The apex of Republicans' plan to turn over our government to their wealthy cronies is a giant tax cut for billionaires and corporations. And they plan to pay for it with cuts to programs that working people rely on. Popular and necessary programs like Medicaid, Medicare, and SNAP, are all being targeted. In order to pass the tax cut, Republicans have to go through a series of procedural steps. Last night, they took the first step which requires them to pass an outline of their plan, but with it, any senator can offer as many amendments as we want. So my Democratic colleagues and I did just that.
Now, we knew that Republicans would largely unanimously oppose them, but we had two objectives here. One, Republicans were forced to put their opinion on record — many for the first time — on the most corrupt parts of Trump and Musk's agenda. Two, as I've been saying, I am going to make every process and procedure as slow and painful as possible for as long as my colleagues choose to ignore the constitutional crisis happening before our eyes.
So what did we propose? We proposed no tax cuts for anyone who makes a billion dollars a year. We made them vote on whether or not Elon Musk and DOGE should have limitless access to Americans' personal data. We made them vote on whether to protect IVF and require insurers to cover it. Every single amendment Democrats proposed was shot down. On almost every single amendment, Republicans universally opposed it. Every Republican voted against our proposal to prevent more tax cuts for billionaires. The corruption and theft is happening in the open here.
The whole game for Republicans is taking your money and giving it to the wealthiest corporations and billionaires — even if it means kicking your parents out of a nursing home or turning off Medicaid for the poorest children. They know what they are doing is deeply unpopular. They are offering a tax cut to the most wealthy that is 850 times larger than what they are offering working people. Oh and by the way, any tax cuts for working people are going to be washed out by higher costs for basic necessities, like health care and food. It's a fundamental injustice.
Thanks to your pressure and support, many of my Democratic colleagues have joined my effort to do everything we can to make sure they cannot destroy democracy and steal your money in the dark of the night. We are being loud about what is happening. I'm going to continue to grind the gears of Congress down as much as possible to make it that much harder and slower to get away with this corruption. That's why the votes lasted until nearly 5 AM.
This is a five-alarm fire. I don't think we have two years to plan and fight back. I think we have months. It's still in our power to stop the destruction of our democracy with mass mobilization and effective opposition from elected officials. So we can't miss any opportunity to take advantage of opportunities to put Republicans on the record and shine a light on what is happening.
And you have a role to play in this as well. I need you to amplify what's happening, support the leaders who are fighting for you to make sure they can continue speaking truth to power against Musk and Trump's billionaire cronies, and show up at rallies and town halls. Use every tool at your disposal to send a message loud and clear about how you expect my colleagues to lead and fight in this moment.
Every best wish,
US Senator Chris Murphy
Doing My Part
Vomiting It All Up, Wednesday Edition
He. Does. Not. Care.
Vomiting It All Up…And It's Only Monday 😫
Trump: 'I run the country and the world'
President Trump shared his thoughts on how his two terms as president have differed, saying in a new interview with The Atlantic that this time around he's leading "the country and the world."
"The first time, I had two things to do — run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys," Trump said in the interview published Monday. "And the second time, I run the country and the world."
Quote Of The Day
I keep thinking of Donald Trump seething with jealousy over the rapturous reception Zelensky received at Pope Francis's funeral, the one Donald did not get, and I smile." ~ Mrs. Betty Bowers
Forever The Victim
shh! don't wake the elderly golfer. funerals make him sleepy.
From Jeff Tiedrich:
way to represent America, dumb-ass
think back to those super-fun days of last summer, when Donny Not-Yet-A-Convict was on trial for having cooked the books to make hush-money payments to a porn star look like legit campaign expenses.
remember what would happen every morning? Donny would take his seat at the defendant's table. he'd glower at the press, then immediately close his weary eyes and begin snoring, as he filled the courtroom with the pungent aroma of narcoleptic farts.
well, guess what: Sleepy Don is back, baby.
there's a book I'd like to recommend to Donny. it's called The Art Of How About Not Falling Asleep At A Funeral, You Stupid Fuck — because Sundowning Grandpa Fascistpants gone and done it again. right in the middle of Pope Francis' funeral, the deteriorating dumbshit once again closed his peepers and started sawing logs.
who does that?
spoiler alert: nobody. no one else among the assembled mourners felt the need to drift off to beddy-bye land and let rip some aromatic ass-music.
not even Joe Biden — the guy everyone said was too old to president.
let's compare and contrast the dude America kicked to the curb with the one they elected to replace him.
oh good fucking lord. try not to drool on yourself, grandpa.
hey Donny — remember how you never shut the fuck up about Sleepy Joe this and Sleepy Joe that? well, who's the sleepy one now, you barely-conscious old coot?
hey, did you notice anything else about Donny?
that's right, in a sea of somber black and dark grey — the dress code dictated by the Vatican, by the way — Donny's decked himself out in one of his hideous blue suits.
oh look, The New York Times is still failing us.
President Trump, it seems, is fully committed to going his own way when it comes to international relations — even during the funeral of a pope.
nice framing, New York Times. they want their readers to know that Donny isn't dressed like a sore thumb because he's a belligerent asshole who does whatever the fuck he wants. oh, no, Donny's a rugged individualist. a rebel outlaw. President Hombre doesn't play by your rules, squares. he's "fully committed to going his own way."
did Donny falling asleep get a mention in the press? I haven't seen one yet.
imagine if President Biden had fallen asleep while representing America at a state funeral. the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media would have had a fucking field day, and turned it into a weeks-long scandal.
but Donny, open-mouthed and snoring up a storm? crickets.
hey, let's watch Emmanuel Macron take Donny on a one-way trip to snub city.
check out the warm handshake Macron gives Zelenskyy. it's not a perfunctory 'good to see you again' shake. it's a hearty, extended 'we're brothers' handshake.
now here comes Donny for his handshake — and he doesn't get one. Macron ignores Donny's outstretched hand — because fuck you, that's why.
let's gif that shit for posterity.
sorry, Donny. no one respects the rodeo clown.
Macron was surely tired of that asinine Battle of the Alpha Bros handshake that Donny tries to pull on him every time they meet. you know the one: if you go to shake Donny's hand, he's going grab yours and roughly jerk it towards him, in an attempt to get you to stumble and fall. it's a childish I'm the dominant dog thing.
Donny got away with that shit during his first term, but now everyone knows it's coming, and prepares for it — and no one more so than Macron. now, every time they meet, Macron grabs Donny's hand and does not let go.
no one's putting up with that shit any more, Donny. everyone's hip to your infantile dumb-assery. it's a wise old saying: 'fool me once, shame on me, and also, you're a tiresome asshole. stop playing silly dominance games, you broken-inside child.'
good going, Donny — you've turned yourself — and America — into an international pariah.
(yes, I know — Donny and Manny eventually shook hands later that day, during a ceremony called the Sign of Peace, where everybody shakes the hand of the person next to them. Macron couldn't opt out of that one.)
let's talk a walk down memory lane, and revisit a few of Sleepy Don's greatest hits.
there were the aforementioned impromptu courtroom slumber parties.
fun fact: uncontrollable day-sleeping is a common sign of dementia.
Dr. John Gartner, who spent 28 years as a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, has an explanation:
"To uncontrollably fall asleep during the day is something that's very common among patients with dementia."
A defendant falling asleep in court is "literally so uncommon, it's basically unheard of." Gartner said he's spoken with several lawyer friends who each told him that they've never seen a defendant falling asleep in court during their entire careers.
here's Donny last October — three weeks before the election — at a campaign roundtable event in Michigan.
Donny's handlers had a ready-made excuse for this one: he's "exhausted."
here's what I wrote about it at the time:
that's so sad. but also it's a stunning admission from Team Trump, less than three weeks from the election. sorry, our guy is pooped. can you imagine the media feeding frenzy that would result if Kamala bailed on an interview, and then her people explained it was because she had to go nappy-nap?
hey, can someone get grandpa here a bowl of applesauce and then take him to bed? the poor old guy is plumb tuckered out. he just can't hack the rigors of campaigning any more. I mean, look at this dilapidated old dipshit.
my god. why is Team Trump torturing this tired old duffer? at this point, putting Donny on a stage night after night is elder abuse. what he needs is a mug of Ovaltine and his favorite blankie, not a microphone and a podium.
Donny wasn't up to the rigors of campaigning last October, and he's not up to the rigors of being president right now.
I don't even know where this one is from, but my god — Donny's Slovenian trophy wife sure hates his fucking guts.
finally, can I just confess how completely jealous I am of Molly Ploofkins, because she thought of this quip, and I didn't?
Good. Actions, Not Words. This Guy Gets It.
Right?!
Funny How That Works
and…
But for some reason, when Felon45 does it…crickets from the Republicans.
Tots and Pears, Sarah
This Is Literally Describing The US Right Now
He cheated. Somehow.
His crowd sizes were too small to support this type of victory. He did nothing to appeal to voters in the middle. He doubled down on his base.
He did not work with Haley or her voters. These elections are supposedly won by the voters in the middle.
His entire life has been a game of manipulation, cheating, gaming the system, and conning. It would be in alignment with his lifetime structure to have figured out how to rig the system.
In fact, he stated before this election that it was rigged. Which clearly is his proiection and confession. Projection is part of his flawed narcissistic personality disorder.
He cheated. Somehow. Musk is involved. The voting tabulating machines must have been manipulated…
Checkmate!
