Words of Wisdom

For those who are stressed out and depressed by reading about politics, but don't want to completely block it out and risk being uninformed, here's a tip: Focus your reading on solutions, not problems. Read only articles and posts about what is being done to solve the problems we face, or about what should be done about them — about those who are fighting back against Trump's depredations in various ways, how you can help do so, how the Democrats need to change in order to win elections in the future, and suchlike. Skip the ones that are basically just "here are all the latest terrible things that are happening" or "here's yet another example of how bad and awful and terrible Trump is". You already know bad things are happening and you already know Trump is awful. Wallow­ing in more of that will just depress you further while providing nothing positive. Reading exclusively about resistance and positive action will keep you still informed but a lot less stressed out. – Infidel753

[Thanks Rick]

The Week In Stupid

From Jeff Tiedrich:

monday: ai yi yi

what the fuck is this nightmare fuel?

"Elon Musk is a family man
The safest place on Earth is in their arms.
Moments like these become priceless memories."

notice anything weird about the Space Nazi's 'family'? that's right, they're not the flesh-and-blood kind — they're the vomited-out-by-some-hellish-AIkind. by some miracle, the one hand we see in that pic has the correct number of fingers on it.

apparently there is an entire cottage industry of keyboard warriors churning out dozens of computer-generated images of the Space Nazi surrounded by imaginary families.

excuse me, but what the fuck is going on with the face of Inbred McYokel in the blue denim jacket?

make no mistake. the Space Nazi is not a 'family man' — he's a turbocharged sperm donor who has made it his mission in life to squirt out as many replicants has he can — with as many women as possible — in some racist race to out-breed the swarthy hordes. however, once the little kidlets are out of the oven, he forgets about them. if Elon were a 'family man,' there would be photographic evidence, and his legion of fan-boys wouldn't have to rely on gruesome AI-generated hocus-pocus.

in fact, the only one of his demon spawn that Elon takes any interest in at all is the Crown Prince Snotwiper.

but apparently Elon's now outsourced the raising of the Crown Prince to Dear Leader. god help him.

 


tuesday: 100% of morons make my head hurt

try to read this next item without your blood pressure spiking — because hey, guess who just woke up to the fact that America pretty much fucking sucks now.

that's right, a whopping 83% of PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE IN 2024 are unhappy with how unfettered fascism is working out for them.

I can't even.

folks, I'd like to propose a new rule: if you didn't vote, you don't get to fucking complain. in fact, if you didn't vote, please stand in the corner and face the wall for the next four years and think about what you've done.


wednesday: look who sucks

uh oh, noises are coming out of Fox News found object Jesse Watters' face-hole again.

"I have rules for men. like you don't eat soup in public. you don't cross your legs. and you don't drink from a straw. his excuse was I was drinking a milk shake. again, you shouldn't be drinking a milk shake. milk shakes are for kids."

I have a rule for Jesse Watters: shut the fuck up.

guys, can we talk? the last thing anyone needs to be doing is living their lives to dictates of some toxic Fox News meathead. no well-adjusted dude thinks about any of this shit. you want to suck on a straw? then fucking suck on a straw. who gives a shit? worrying what other people think doesn't make you manly — it makes you weak, insecure and fragile.

right, Jesse?


thursday: we don't need no edumocation

thursday was the day that Donny Convict pretended to abolish the Department of Education.

spoiler alert: he can't — to actually do so would require an Act of Congress.

regardless, all the Sewer Clowns fanned out to wax romantic about how super fucking awesome it's going to be once America no longer has any national standards for educating its children.

pictured: happy schoolchildren in Georgia, circa 1909

even the Space Nazi got into the act — but folks, can we all just agree that if you want to dance on the Department of Education's grave, that you at least learn how to spell 'department'? because otherwise, you might look like a fucking imbecile.

oh dear.

and should any of us really be surprised that down there in America's dangly bit — the swampy state of Florida — their own Departmen(t) of Education can't spell 'twelfth'?


friday: gone with the windbag

oh joy of joys, the Space Nazi's dad is back in the news. when last we checked in with good old Errol Musk, he was managing to be racist, homophobic and transphobic at the same time.

"Obama's a queer, married to a man who dresses as a woman."

isn't Errol a charmer? well, homeboy's found a new way to cover himself with glory.

Errol Musk, the father of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, believes that his son can't be racist due to his past relationships with "Black servants" who worked for the family in apartheid South Africa.

'we can't be racist, all our servants were black' is such a persuasive argument, can't you agree? oh, and according to Errol, apartheid was pretty fucking amazing — if you had the foresight to be born white.

"We lived in a very well-run, law-abiding country with virtually no crime at all," he said. "Actually no crime. We had several black servants who were their friends."

we've tracked down an exclusive photo of Elon O'Musk and his childhood best friend, Mammy.


saturday: ?

hey, it's still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do.

Yes Virginia, They Really Are That Stupid!

20-25 million people from nations all over the world died fighting against the Nazis. The US didnt even show up for years after it started. They sat and watched everyone else fight and die.

Rest of conversation –

REPORTER*: So, just to clarify—your position is that France owes its entire existence to the United States?

LEAVITT: Absolutely. If it weren't for the U.S., the French would be speaking German right now. That's just a fact.

REPORTER: Interesting. Because if it weren't for France, we wouldn't even have the United States. Ever heard of the American Revolution? France bankrolled it. Sent troops. Fought Britain on multiple fronts. And, oh yeah—gave us the Statue of Liberty as a symbol of freedom. Do we only acknowledge history when it's convenient?

LEAVITT: Well, the United States has been the beacon of global freedom—

REPORTER: Right, and who gave us the actual beacon? The French. And let's not forget, France won World War I before the U.S. even entered it. So by your logic, does that mean Americans should be thanking the French for not speaking German in 1918?

LEAVITT: That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying—

REPORTER: Also, if we're going down this road—how about the Louisiana Purchase? You know, that huge chunk of land that doubled the size of America? Bought it from the French. Are we sending them a thank-you note?

LEAVITT: Look, I think we're getting off track here. The point is—

REPORTER: The point is, we didn't just swoop in and save the day while France sat around waiting. Nations cooperate, trade, and yes, sometimes even rescue each other.

17. März 2025

The real press lack the balls. They're not press. They're stenographers.

Unfortunately once the orange felon regained the White House he stopped giving a single shit what anyone—except his buttbuddy Vlad—thinks.

Notice he hasn't had any of his emotional support rallies lately?

Americans Look For A Solution

From Mock Paper Scissors:

Looks like Americans are waking up and asking the right question…

…but they are not going to like the answer: The prznint can "unremove" hisself in both section 3 and section 4. And besides, with ghouls like Cap'n Guyliner and Pornhub Moses right behind, is this really a solution?

If you think that convicted felon and career criminal The Orange 🤡 is going to give anyone any power even while having a camera up his flabby ass, you don't understand his pathology.

Let's All Watch Some MAGA Shithead Get Bounced From A Bar

From Jeff Tiedrich:

everything sucks right now, so let's put the focus on our hero of the day. sit back and enjoy the shit out of this bartender eighty-sixing some Trumpist fuckwad.

bartender: "get out of the bar."
MAGA: "why?"
bartender: "because you're a Trump supporter."
MAGA: "I know, but don't you guys want our money?"
bartender: "no, actually, we don't. get out of my bar right now. [picks up baseball bat] I'm not fucking around. get out of my bar right now."
MAGA: "are you serious?
bartender: "I'm dead serious. out."
MAGA: "because I'm wearing a Trump hat."
bartender: "yes."
MAGA: "that's wild."
bartender: "I don't care. get out."
second bartender: "we can call the police, or you can just leave."
MAGA: "you know this is, like, discrimination, right?"
bartender: "boo hoo. boo fucking hoo. get out of my bar."


fuck yeah. that was satisfying. boo fucking hoo, indeed. here's your binky, MAGA. now take a hike.

here's the backstory.

the MAGA asshole who got bounced — and is now whining to the press about it — wants you to believe that she was some innocent victim who wandered into a random bar and met up with some surly bartender.

that's not the case at all. the cultist — and her friends — showed up to cause trouble, and they got what was coming to them.

the bar in question is the Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis. the joint is LGBTQ+ inclusive, and much of the staff is trans.

it's possible that Fuckface von Maga and her fuckface friends didn't even know any of that when they showed up to make a scene. maybe they were just offended by the pride flag hanging outside the bar, and decided that it was their divine mission to stir up shit.

here's David Andrichik, the bar's owner, to explain.

"We were set up. This was a plan to do something like this. We don't believe the people that came in to instigate even knew what Chatterbox was, but they came in because of our pride flag," which is displayed outside the jazz bar.

premeditated or not, these MAGA shitstains stepped inside the Chatterbox and immediately cranked the asshole dial way past eleven. they shouted. they got abusive and confrontational. they deliberately misgendered the bartender. and they got tossed the fuck out.

and then, they came back in and recorded the clip you saw at top of this post — and went whining to the media about it.

look at us, we're the real victims here! they hated us for our hats! so unfair! come see the violence inherent in the system!

like their beloved Dear Leader, the cultists always imagine they're the real victims — everything is unfair, and everything is rigged against them.

all we wanted was to hang out. the bartender was so mean to us.

MAGA, you are cordially invited to fuck straight off with your divisive hate. could you just fucking well leave people alone? they just want to live their lives in peace. next time you see a pride flag, just walk on by. the Earth won't fall off its axis. I promise.

cultists, can we talk? you're getting played by the ruling class, and you don't even realize it. you're being distracted from the real enemy.

'keep the people ignorant and fighting each other, and they won't notice the plutocrats picking their pockets' is right on page one of the oligarch's playbook.

and please shut the fuck up already about how unfairly you got treated. you acted like an asshole and you got treated like one.

you fucked around, and you found out. enjoy the tiniest of violins.

here's the official statement the Chatterbox posted to their Instagram account.

On Friday, March 14th, a group of individuals visited Chatterbox and intentionally misgendered and harassed a Chatterbox employee, resulting in them being asked to leave by our staff. They then continued verbally assaulting our patrons and staff, threatened our establishment, and returned to record a video which has now been posted on multiple social media platforms.

The Chatterbox is home to a diverse group of staff and patrons. We do not tolerate dehumanizing or disrespectful language or symbolism in our establishment. We have a right, by law, to refuse service to anyone who disrupts our business. We look forward to continue being a home for people who love music and appreciate our community.

forgive me for once again reposting what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, but it's a tale can't be told often enough.

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, "no. get out."

And the dude next to me says, "hey i'm not doing anything, i'm a paying customer." and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them." And i was like, oh ok and he continues.

"you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too."

"And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down."

of course, what happened at the Chatterbox isn't totally analogous — Fuckface von MAGA and her friends weren't polite, and they certainly weren't there to infiltrate — but the lesson is the same: you have to nip that shit in the bud. zero tolerance for Nazi assholes.

fuck around and find out is in short supply right now. let's celebrate when it happens.

if you find yourself in Indianapolis, stop by the Chatterbox and show them your support.