Category: Actors and Celebrities

Posted on

Jon's Hamm

The infamous trouser snake has gotten loose again and was spotted roaming the streets of New York! Protect your wives! Protect your daughters! Protect your husbands and your sons!

Posted on

I Know It's Fake…

…because every other picture I've seen of Mr. Hardwick shirtless indicates he's either shaved to within an inch of his life or naturally smooth as a baby's hind end. But it's still nice to fantasize.

Posted on

Gratuitous Adam Garcia

Because why the hell not?

Last week I finished watching Nat Geo's Genius, a fascinating 10-part miniseries chronicling the life and times of physicist Albert Einstein. Because of the way his story was presented (and because I don't know enough about the life of the man to say otherwise) I came away from the series with a single thought: Einstein was a dick. A brilliant dick, yes. But still a dick.

In the final episode, Adam Garcia played WWII's famous "catcher-cum-spy" Moe Berg, who was tasked with obtaining intelligence from—and assassinating if necessary—Werner Heisenberg (author of the famous Uncertaincy Principle) in regards to Nazi attempts to build an atomic bomb.

I was unfamiliar with Garcia's work, but since he looked good enough to eat in Genius, so you can be assured I'll be keeping an eye out for this actor in the future.

Posted on

Gratuitous Tim Pigott-Smith

From Clash of the Titans (1981)

Sadly, Mr. Pigott-Smith is no longer with us, but I know he left an indelible impression on more than one horny gay boy in the 1980s with his portrayal of Thallo and that beard in this film.

Posted on

Gratuitous Sam Elliott

Because he came up in conversation the other day and the 72 year old still-studly actor has a new movie coming out.

Mr. Elliott, do you even know how many hours of masturbatory fodder you provided for gay boys growing up in the 70s with Lifeguard? DO YOU?

Posted on

Gratuitous Ryan Phillipe

Can you believe this man is FORTY TWO years old? There has to be a truly horrific, rapidly deteriorating portrait stashed in a basement somewhere.

But the love of all that is holy, Ryan, STOP SHAVING YOUR FUCKING CHEST!

Posted on

Gratuitous Josh Bowman

I don't want to like ABC's Time After Time. I really don't. I know where the story's going (jump to a different era in every episode as H.G. pursues the dastardly Jack The Ripper in order to save lives and stave off some future calamity), but I keep coming back to it. As my friend Mark said, "I know you. It's got a dark haired Brit with a hairy chest and a beard."

Regrettably, I really am that shallow. But to be perfectly honest, I couldn't make it all the way through the most recent episode in one sitting. It was so…predictable…that halfway through I had to turn it off and return to it this evening.

Posted on

Gratuitous Wes Chatham

Are you watching The Expanse on SyFy? If you're a fan of "hard" sci-fi and you aren't, you probably should be. To me it feels a lot like the network's own Battlestar Galactica, and like BSG, Season One got off to a slow start. There's a lot of universe-building going on, and if you're unfamiliar with the source material like I was, it takes some time to get up to speed as characters are introduced and storylines established. Season Two, however, has really taken off and it's become one of my "must not miss" shows this year.

And if that weren't enough, hunky Wes Chatham gets plenty of screen time.

Yeah, yeah…I know the boxing shots aren't from this particular show, but don't hate.

Posted on

Nightmare Scenario

I probably shouldn't have watched one of my all-time favorite thrillers, The Hunt for Red October, before going to bed last night, but Alec Baldwin was undoubtedly at the height of his yumminess when the film came out in 1990 and I just simply couldn't surf past. (Since Alec and I are the same age—something I hadn't realized until I just double-checked the release date—I suppose I was at the height of my yumminess at the same time too. Sigh.)

Oh Alec…that chest hair [swoon]!

Sorry. I got distracted. Anyhow…

With our Executive branch of government currently in—to put it politely, total disarray—led by an imbecile who thinks he knows everything and refuses to listen to anyone or anything other than the voices in his own head, what's to prevent the nightmare scenario postulated in the film (Russians parking a submarine off the eastern coast of the United States and nuking DC) from actually happening? Even if the military/CIA/FBI are aware of it and attempt to brief Cheetolini, who's to say he won't dismiss it as "fake news"—especially considering his tongue is so far up Putin's ass they're French kissing? Launch a nuke on DC and you've taken out the Federal Government, rendering any sort of immediate, coordinated response impossible. What would prevent Russian troops from then simply walking onto US soil and taking over à la Red Dawn?

I would hope that the government has a plan in place in the event of such a calamity, but who knows? This is the sort of shit that keeps me awake at 4 am.