Category: Beating Back the St00pid

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How Could They Know?

"The problem isn't that they ate the fruit, it's that they disobeyed God." How would they know that disobeying your god is "wrong" without the knowledge of right and wrong, good and evil?

"They didn't know that eating the fruit was wrong, but they knew deviating from the instructions would be unacceptable." And how would they know that god-acceptance is a good thing, and god non-acceptance is a bad thing without the knowledge of good and evil, right and wrong?

"Well, they should have just obeyed God." Same problem – how do they know that obeying your god is "right" and not obeying your god is "wrong" without that knowledge?

"Because they should have listened to God and not the serpent." You're really not getting this. How would they know that listening to your god and ignoring the snake is the "right" thing to do? And why did this god warn them about the fruit, but not about the snake?

"Be… because it's written on everyone's hearts." So you're actually trying to say that people are born with the knowledge of right and wrong, good and evil "on their hearts." So obtaining it from the fruit was redundant. And tormenting them merely an act of capricious abuse.

Furthermore, they were (supposedly) the first people ever in the world. Nobody had any experience with anything. How would they even comprehend "lest ye die" as consequences, when nobody had ever died, ever? And didn't even happen (i.e. was a lie). Without the knowledge of right and wrong, good and evil, how would they know that paying attention to this heart-writing was the right thing to do?

The mental gymnastics to try and salvage this stupid fable about their omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient god's omni-incompetence are Olympic-grade.

Spoiler alert: the bible makes no sense. And we're only up to page three.

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Let us account for all we see by the facts we know. If there are things for which we cannot account, let us wait for light. To account for anything by supernatural agencies is, in fact to say that we do not know. Theology is not what we know about God, but what we do not know about Nature.

In order to increase our respect for the Bible, it became necessary for the priests to exalt and extol that book, and at the same time to decry and belittle the reasoning powers of man. The whole power of the pulpit has been used for hundreds of years to destroy the confidence of man in himself—to induce him to distrust his own powers of thought, to believe that he was wholly unable to decide any question for himself, and that all human virtue consists in faith and obedience. The church has said, 'Believe, and obey! If you reason, you will become an unbeliever, and unbelievers will be lost. If you disobey, you will do so through vain pride and curiosity, and will, like Adam and Eve, be thrust from Paradise forever!'

For my part, I care nothing for what the church says, except in so far as it accords with my reason; and the Bible is nothing to me, only in so far as it agrees with what I think or know."

~ Robert G. Ingersoll, Some Mistakes of Moses

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Fasten Your Seatbelts…

QAnon Believers Still Waiting for JFK Jr. In Dallas sing Michael Jackson's "We Are The World"

Yes, Qanon followers are still hanging around Dealy Plaza in Dallas, Texas, waiting for the reappearance of John F. Kennedy, Jr., who died in a plane crash in 1999, and have recently been filmed huddling together in the dark singing "We Are the World" by Michael Jackson. It's not entirely clear why they chose that particular song other than its general unifying message, but understanding why they're all Jackson fans requires a quick tour down the rabbit hole, so if you're not caught up yet, buckle up.

QAnon believers flocked to Dallas early this month due to proclamations from some internet posted who has become a leader within the"movement" albeit little fringe even for QAnon, claiming that JFK Jr. would appear there after faking his death to announce the end of the Biden administration. He was supposed to return from the dead on a specific night in order to crown Donald Trump king of the world or something like that, but when he didn't, the QAnon leader, Michael Brian Protzman, changed his mind, saying that he would appear at a nearby Rolling Stones concert.

When that didn't happen, the conspiracy theory quickly evolved to encapsulate many more dead celebrities. Not only didthe cultists theorize that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards was actually JFK Jr. in disguise, having apparently spent the last 22 years learning to shred, but that in fact hundreds of celebrities have faked their deaths over the years in order to escape Illuminati contracts. These celebrities, including the late pop legend Michael Jackson, are now expected to simultaneously come out of hiding in order to make everything in the world right again.

"Robin Williams was here the other day, one woman told Rolling Stone at the beginning of November. "Michael Jackson is high in the movement."

More than three weeks after initially showing up in Dallas in numbers of
around 1,000 people, only about 100 remained to watch the anniversary of the assassination of the senior John F. Kennedy at Dealy Plaza come and go without his son showing up. They believed he would appear on Monday this time, but when he didn't they continued to wait around, holding up "Trump/JFK Jr. 2024" signs and eventually began their singalong, which seems to be turning into the world's weirdest tradition.

Some QAnon believers have even discussed setting up a permanent compound in or near Dallas in order to continue waiting for JFK Jr., because everyone knows how much cults love their compounds.

On Tuesday, a member of the Kennedy family responded to the QAnon antics in Dallas, praising a report by MSNBC anchor Brian Williams who encouraged people to feel bad for the family, which has suffered so many losses, rather than QAnon "cult members."

"Well said, Brian Williams," tweeted NBC anchor and cousin to JFK Jr. Maria Shriver. "He's right, you never get over these losses. I know many others struggle with theirs, as well. Go kindly into the days." Meanwhile, on Reddit, multiplecommenters are wondering if it's possible to get some good out of all this absurdity by having someone dress up as JFK Jr. to address the crowd and steer them toward conspiracy theories that would encourage action against climate change or just more general sanity.

[Source]