Category: Cinema

Details.

30 years since the world heard Sigourney Weaver utter those immortal words. How time flies.

While Aliens didn't creep me out nearly as much as the original Alien, I still remember coming home after seeing it opening night and turning on all the lights in my apartment.

Well that was unnecessary.

Traveler, by Simon Brown.

The problem with these shorts is they leave you wanting MORE!

…I rolled my eyes.

But I have to admit that after seeing the trailer, I think it might be kinda cool.

Kenneth Anger's Lucifer Rising:

And yet, I couldn't tear my eyes away. So. Much. 1968. Haight-Ashbury.

This gave me chills.

I mean, look at that. Already there's fan-inspired art from a film that hasn't even been released yet.

Seeing those AT-AT walkers looming on the horizon should send my heart fluttering the way they did on that Cinemascope screen in 1980. But they just aren't. And it's all George Lucas's fault.

I turned 19 shortly after Star Wars originally hit the theaters in May 1977. (You do the math. I'm old.) So while I wasn't a child per se, it nonetheless fired my imagination in a way that was to carry well into my adulthood. Surprisingly, initially I had no real desire to see the film, but a friend from high school dragged me to it one hot summer afternoon a couple weeks after its release, telling me it might just change my life. And it did.

As I'm sure I've written before, I came out of the theater that afternoon high, and it wasn't from any pharmaceuticals. Star Wars set me on what I refer to now as nothing less than a spiritual quest. While I know this isn't even close to being a record for total number of screenings, during the next year that it was parked at the old Cine Capri in Phoenix, I saw the film 30 more times. (I remember being outraged when they raised the price of a ticket from $2.75 to $3.00!)

When The Empire Strikes Back opened (again, at the Cine Capri) three years later, I wasn't about to be caught with my pants down as I had been with its predecessor. I was in line opening night, rushing over immediately after work to join the crowd of other fans in line wanting to get their first glimpse at that galaxy far, far away.

I didn't see Empire nearly as many times as Star Wars. Thinking back, it was probably only a dozen or so, but it wasn't because I didn't like the film. Quite the contrary, I loved how the story was progressing.

Three years later, I was now living in Tucson so I didn't get to see Return of the Jedi at my preferred venue in Phoenix, but I was still there opening day. Anticipating more huge lines, I called out sick that morning and dragged my friend Lee along (who, by the way, found it appalling that I would play hookie for a movie). As it turned out, there was a line, but nowhere near as long as what I'd been expecting, and we were actually able to get into the first showing without any difficulty.

My reaction? Meh. Jedi was okay, but I overall I came away from it disappointed. Even then I thought it was the weakest of the three films. And the Ewoks were abominable. I should've seen the writing on the wall that Lucas had become more concerned with merchandising than actually telling a good story. Yes, it wrapped up the Skywalker-Vader saga and the rebels scored a significant victory against the Empire, but what next?

What came next—at least for me personally—was a relocation to San Francisco. When the tenth anniversary of the first film came around in 1987, one of the theaters in the North Bay threw a party and showed all three films at one sitting. I went because there were rumors that stars from the films would be in attendance, and even ten years later I still had a tremendous crush on Mark Hamill. Sadly, those rumors proved false, but it was still interesting to see all three films at one time, and while I didn't leave with a Hamill autograph, I did walk away from the experience with a cool Tenth Anniversary sweatshirt.

Sidebar: I actually did run into Mr. Hamill—and his wife and son—on the F-Line in San Francisco many years later. We locked eyes, and I nodded as if to say, "I know who you are but I will respect your privacy and leave you alone," and exchanged smiles. It was kind of an anti-climactic encounter considering I'd known since he first appeared on that screen in 1977 that eventually our paths would cross.

Flash forward to May 1999 and what I now refer to as "George Lucas's ass-raping of my young adulthood" or as the rest of the world calls it, "The arrival of the Star Wars prequels."

I'm not going to say much about these three films (or Lucas's tinkering and reissue of the original trilogy) since so many words have been spilled over the last decade regarding the casting, acting, directing, make-your-eyes-bleed use of CGI, and all that midichlorian nonsense, but I will say they soured me to the idea of ever seeing another new Star Wars film lest the few remaining vestiges of my wide-eyed youth get ground into a bloody pulp.

That being said, I am curious about Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Curious. Not champing-at-the-bit I-can't-wait-to-see it level of excitement as might've been the case if Episodes 1-3 had never happened, but curious. I haven't kept up with any of the Star Wars spin-off stories, books, or animated series; I have no idea who any of these new characters are, but with only minimal Lucas involvement and J.J. Abrams at the helm—and the use of practical effects vs. CGI—I'm at least a little hopeful that it won't be the giant steaming pile of Banta poodoo that the Prequels were.

I am not a fan per se of the YA Dystopia genre, but I love both the Hunger Games as well as the original Maze Runner films. I've actually only read the Maze Runner books, however, so I was very excited to hear that they were going to film the entire series.

HOWEVER, after seeing Scorch Trials yesterday, I am sadly disappointed. It's been over a year since I last read the book, so I was questioning my own memory of it, but I kept scratching my head throughout the screening saying to Ben on several occasions, "I don't remember this being in the book."

In fact, going back and looking at its Wikipedia page to refresh my memory after we got home, I realized how very little of The Scorch Trials book was actually in the film. Yeah, they followed the basic structure of the story, but beyond that it was a mess. I know all movies adapted from books have to make changes, either to condense the story to fit in the allotted running time or to increase dramatic effect, but this seemed to be a wholesale reaming of the source material, only to be replaced with "let's pull some shit out of our ass and see if this works instead."

It didn't.

Just as an example, the characters' breakout of the WICKED dormitory in the first act wasn't prompted by an attack of Cranks (aggressive, zombie-like people who have been infected with a virus known as "the flare" for those of you unfamiliar with the books) on the suddenly-deserted facility as it was in the book, but rather their snooping around the heavily armed and populated installation itself and learning the reason they were brought there. There was none of the feeling of mystery and bewilderment of the book (and previous film) in this movie that involved you in the story and made you want to know what was going on.

In the book, they find one remaining scientist in the facility who tells them they've all been infected with the virus and have two weeks to get through "the scorch" and to a safe haven to get the cure. None of that was in the movie. The main reason prompting the characters to get through the scorch was REMOVED from the film.

And it only goes downhill from there.

I want to go back and read the book again to clear my mental palate.

Why the filmmakers chose to discard—wholesale—the main storyline of the book is beyond me, and this does not bode well for the final film, The Death Cure, scheduled to be released in February 2017.

I count the original Maze Runner film among my favorites, but if you're a fan of the series my advice would be to save your money on this one and wait for it to show up on cable—and even then, prepare to say, "WTF?!"

I stumbled across Trick on television tonight. I used to count this among my top ten favorite movies, but for some reason I found it difficult to watch tonight, and ended up turning it off after only about twenty minutes.

Perhaps it's because so much has happened in my life—and the world in general—since it came out sixteen years ago. If there was ever an indication that I am not the same man I was in 1999, it's my quite unexpected reaction to this seeing this movie again after all that time.

I—like undoubtedly hundreds (if not thousands) of other gay men—had a huge crush on JP Pitoc at the time, fantasizing that at some point I'd have my very own sweet and sexy go-go boy wanting me for all the right reasons. Not surprisingly, I could never have predicted at the time that I would have a sweet and sexy man arrive in my life only a few short years later; someone far more real and amazing than the fictitious Mark could ever be.

And a quick Google search shows that Mr. Pitoc has not aged well. And that's sad.

We saw Man from U.N.C.L.E. today.

From the trailer it looked fun…

…and it didn't disappoint.

I remember the television series from when I was a kid, but I don't recall ever actually watching much of it. Perhaps it was because the storylines were too adult, or it lacked the cool gadgets of Mission Impossible or the silly, slapstick humor of Get Smart. In any case I can't draw any comparisons between the old and new.

The movie got off to a rather slow start, but as Ben pointed out, I think that's because they needed to do some character building before getting into the heat of the action. It picked up the pace about a third of the way in, and it was a great combination of thrills and sly humor from there on out.

Of course, it didn't hurt that the leads—Arnie Hammer and Henry Cavill—were hot as hell. Annie especially conjures impure thoughts; very impure thoughts.

When the film ended it left me wanting more, and I always consider that an accurate indicator of how good a movie is. (But then, I was among the dozen or so people on the planet who liked Jupiter Ascending, so take it for what you will.) Naturally, the story was was left open for a sequel, and I for one look forward to sharing more adventures with Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin.

So much awesome…

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Maybe I've just gotten jaded. Or maybe the hype surrounding this movie was so overwhelming and relentless that it couldn't possibly measure up to the expectations.

Don't get me wrong; it was worth the price of admission. It's a fun summer movie. But the words predictable and variations-on-a-theme immediately come to mind.

The story takes up twenty two years after the original Jurassic Park film ended, with none of the sequels presumably having happened. Having learned nothing from that outing, InGen has apparently proceeded full steam ahead and opened the park to hordes of visitors.

Plot synopsis (and spoilers) from Wikipedia:

Twenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park, InGen has opened a fully functional dinosaur theme park called "Jurassic World" on Isla Nublar. Brothers Zach and Gray Mitchell go to visit their aunt Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard), the park's operations manager, but she is too busy to see them and instead leaves them with her assistant Zara. InGen's geneticists have created a new genetically modified dinosaur called Indominus Rex made from the DNA of several predatory dinosaurs, as well as modern animals such as cuttlefish and tree frogs. Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan), the park's owner, orders Velociraptor trainer Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) to inspect the Indominus' enclosure before the exhibit opens.

Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio), the head of InGen security, is interested in training the park's four Velociraptors for use in the military, but Owen argues that the raptors are not tame enough to do so. While Zara is distracted, Gray and Zach leave her and explore Jurassic World's attractions. When Owen arrives at the Indominus enclosure, he and Claire find that the Indominus has seemingly scaled the wall and escaped. Owen and two other staff enter the enclosure, but the Indominus ambushes them, having faked its escape, and kills both staff before breaking out and disappearing into the jungle. Owen escapes by hiding under a vehicle and cutting the fuel hose to douse himself in gasoline, masking his scent.

Masrani orders a group of armed guards to capture the Indominus, but it kills all of them. Claire closes off the northern section of the park and orders for the island to be evecuated. Gray and Zach enter the "gyrosphere" ride and drive it into a forest, where they are confronted by the Indominus. They escape by jumping from a waterfall, and eventually discover the ruins of the original Jurassic Park Visitor Center, where they repair a Jeep and drive back to the park. The Indominus continues its rampage, killing several Apatosaurus and breaking into the park's pterosaur aviary. Masrani and two soldiers follow the Indominus in a helicopter, but the freed pterosaurs cause the helicopter to crash. Gray and Zach return to the park as the pterosaurs attack several tourists. Zara finds them, but is soon picked up by a Pteranodon and dropped into the Jurassic World Lagoon, where the park's Mosasaurus eats her. Owen and Claire are reunited with Gray and Zach, while more armed guards shoot down the pterosaurs.

Hoskins takes command of Jurassic World and decides to use the Velociraptors to find and kill the Indominus, with Owen reluctantly agreeing. The raptors follow the Indominus' scent into the jungle, and Owen and a handful of InGen soldiers launch an attack. However, the Indominus is able to communicate with the raptors and turns them against the soldiers. Meanwhile, Hoskins has Dr. Henry Wu, the park's chief geneticist, board a helicopter with some of the dinosaur embryos and leave the park. Returning to the main park, Owen, Claire, Zach and Gray find Hoskins packing up the remaining dinosaur embryos in the Innovation Center's laboratory. Hoskins plans to create more genetically modified dinosaurs and use them as weapons, but he is suddenly attacked and killed by a raptor.

Owen leads Claire, Zach and Gray outside, and when they are confronted by the other raptors he manages to re-establish a connection with them. The Indominusappears and kills most of the raptors. Realising they are outmatched, Claire lures the park's veteran Tyrannosaurus rex into a fight with the Indominus. The last surviving raptor, named "Blue", aids the Tyrannosaurus in the fight, but the Indominus overpowers them both. They force the Indominus towards the Jurassic World Lagoon, where the Mosasaurus drags it into the water, drowning it. The Tyrannosaurus departs, and Blue shares one more moment with Owen before leaving as well. The next day, the surviving tourists are evacuated to Costa Rica. Zach and Gray are reunited with their parents, while Owen and Claire decide to stay together. On Isla Nublar, the Tyrannosaurus stands on a building's helipad, overlooks the island and roars.

Chris Pratt is yummy, as usual. To be honest—much like with Channing Tatum—I would probably be happy to just sit and watch him read the dictionary for two hours. Since the nasty InGen folks made off with viable embryos, I'm sure we'll be hearing word of yet another sequel in coming years. Because humanity never learns. Take that as you will.

 

May the Fourth Be With You.

A perfect mashup that no doubt reflects how a lot of us reacted upon seeing the second trailer to STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS yesterday.