Category: Elections Have Consequences

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Fuckwit Preznit Has No Idea If He's Supposed To Uphold The Constitution

From Jeff Tiedrich:

scenes from a crazypants interview

imagine a United States president so callous that he tells America's struggling small businesses to piss straight up a rope. imagine a president so out of touch that he tells Americans they're greedy shitwads for wanting things.

now imagine a president so fucking ignorant that he has no clue if he's supposed to uphold the Constitution or not.

actually, you don't have to imagine any of that shit — because yesterday, Donny Convict sat down with NBC News' Kristen Welker and actually blithered all those things.

here's a fun passage from the Oath of Office that every incoming president swears to uphold. keep it in your mind, because there's going to be a quiz later on.

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

got that? okay, here we go. now tell me if you think this is the most totally unhinged thing you've ever heard a president say.

 

Kristen Welker: "your secretary of state says everyone who's here, citizens and non-citizens, deserve due process. do you agree?"

Donny: "I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. I don't know."

Welker: "don't you need to uphold the Constitution as president?"

Donny: "I don't know."

oh. my. god. — he. doesn't. know.

folks, what did we just read in the Oath of Office, the one that Donny has now mumbled his way through twice?

SPOILER ALERT: YES YOUR LITERAL FUCKING JOB IS TO UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE OATH OF OFFICE YOU'VE TAKEN TWICE NOW. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. IT'S LIKE TALKING TO A FUCKING WALL.

now here's me, typing out that not-tweet.

magine if Joe Biden had said he "didn't know" if he was supposed to uphold the Constitution. the entire Wingnut Outrage-Industrial Complex would have begun howling in unison about how Sleepy Joe had finally lost all his marbles and was unfit for office. MAGA would have rioted in the streets. Hannity would have shit hot roofing nails on live TV.

but Dear Leader professes blissful ignorance about his primary duty as president, and all we hear from Republicans is deafening sounds of crickets.

because it's a cult.

now here's the guy who shits into a golden toilet, taking you to task for wanting too many things.

Welker: "you were at your cabinet meeting, and you said — I'm going to quote you — 'maybe the children will have two dolls instead of thirty dolls. and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally.' are you saying that your tariffs will cause some prices to go up?"

Donny: "no, I think tariffs are going to be great for us, because it's gonna make us rich."

Welker: "but you said some dolls are going to cost more, isn't that an acknowledgement that some prices will go up?"

Donny: "I don't think a beautiful baby girl that's eleven years old needs to have 30 dolls. I think they can have three dolls or four dolls … they don't need to have 250 pencils. they can have five."

ok, so the "beautiful baby girls" only get three or four dolls now — but what about the baby girls who aren't beautiful? can we let the heinous ones grab a few extra dolls, as, y'know, sort of a consolation prize?

three or four dolls, and five pencils. in just four months we've gone from the world's greatest economy to forced rationing, with Dear Leader making kingly pronouncements as to who deserves how much of what.

hey, how many shithole golf motels does each American get to own? because I'm thinking more than one is too many.

let's take a wander down memory lane.

in 1977, a sweater-clad Jimmy Carter went on TV, and asked Americans to turn their thermostats down a couple of degrees — and the entire country lost its mind.

how dare this fuckface peanut farmer tell us that we can't have everything? it's our God-given right as Amurricans to consume as much as we want.

right now, there are MAGA morons who have rigged their trucks to belch out as much soot and thick grey exhaust fumes as possible. they call it "rolling coal." why do they do this? because fuck you, that's why. nobody tells MAGA to conserve.

but mark my words: at the next family cookout, your drunk uncle — the one whose TV is permanently tuned to Fox News — is going to corner you, and tell you that your kid has too many pencils.

because it's a fucking cult.

meanwhile, while you're making do with your government-approved two dolls and five pencils, Donny's planning to take forty-five million dollars and flush it straight down the shitter.

he's spending it on a gaudy emotional support parade for his birthday — just like the kind they have in North Korea.

because America is now a third-world autocracy led by a fragile pit of need.

hey, instead of a parade, how about this draft-dodging coward lay wreaths on the graves of the five soldiers who took his place in Vietnam, and maybe mutter a few words of thanks to the quack doctor who ginned up that bullshit note about imaginary bone spurs that allowed Donny to get those five deferments. it'd be a lot cheaper, and we'll even let him do a fucked-up graveside thumbs up.

Donny has a message for America's small businesses, and that message is go fuck yourselves.

Welker: "are you considering tariff relief for small businesses?"

Donny: "why do you always mention that, you know — you pick up couple of little businesses. what about the car business? they're going to make a fortune."

yeah, commie. what about the giant corporations? what about the plutocrats?

I guarantee that right now, some MAGA dipshit with a persistent cough is driving a crappy car on crumbling roads past abandoned storefronts to a low-paying job and pumping his fist and going "hell yeah!" as he listens to some dime-store Rush Limbaugh knockoff explain that billionaires have been getting a raw deal in America, and Dear Leader is going to fix that.

because — say it with me — it's a fucking cult.

I'm so old, I remember a woman who campaigned on the promise to help Americans start their own small businesses.

whatever happened to her? all I can recall is that she had a funny laugh and couldn't prove she worked at McDonald's, so I guess America was right to kick her to the curb.

the stupid. it just fucking burns.

Welker: "when does it become the Trump economy?"

Donny: "it partially is right now, and I really mean this. I think the good parts are the Trump economy and the bad parts are the Biden economy."

I don't know how Kristen Welker kept herself from blurting 'what the fuck is wrong with you,' throwing her notes to the floor, and walking out.

and finally, last night, aboard Fuckface Force One, on his way back from Motel-a-Lago, Donny held a press gaggle.

"all costs are down. everything is down, other than the uh thing you carry the babies around in."

that thing you carry the babies around in — you know. that thing. what the fuck is it called? a shover? a pushinator?

could someone please get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a pudding cup, and help him to bed?

oh yeah, this fucking country is in great hands.

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Senator Chris Murphy asks us to post this statement to the public. Report from the Senate Floor: "Last night in the Senate, something really important happened. Republicans forced us to debate their billionaire bailout budget framework. We started voting at 6 PM because they knew doing it in the dark of night would minimize media coverage. And they do not want the American people to see how blatant their handover of our government to the billionaire class is.

So I want to explain what happened last night and what we did to fight back. The apex of Republicans' plan to turn over our government to their wealthy cronies is a giant tax cut for billionaires and corporations. And they plan to pay for it with cuts to programs that working people rely on. Popular and necessary programs like Medicaid, Medicare, and SNAP, are all being targeted. In order to pass the tax cut, Republicans have to go through a series of procedural steps. Last night, they took the first step which requires them to pass an outline of their plan, but with it, any senator can offer as many amendments as we want. So my Democratic colleagues and I did just that.

Now, we knew that Republicans would largely unanimously oppose them, but we had two objectives here. One, Republicans were forced to put their opinion on record — many for the first time — on the most corrupt parts of Trump and Musk's agenda. Two, as I've been saying, I am going to make every process and procedure as slow and painful as possible for as long as my colleagues choose to ignore the constitutional crisis happening before our eyes.

So what did we propose? We proposed no tax cuts for anyone who makes a billion dollars a year. We made them vote on whether or not Elon Musk and DOGE should have limitless access to Americans' personal data. We made them vote on whether to protect IVF and require insurers to cover it. Every single amendment Democrats proposed was shot down. On almost every single amendment, Republicans universally opposed it. Every Republican voted against our proposal to prevent more tax cuts for billionaires. The corruption and theft is happening in the open here.

The whole game for Republicans is taking your money and giving it to the wealthiest corporations and billionaires — even if it means kicking your parents out of a nursing home or turning off Medicaid for the poorest children. They know what they are doing is deeply unpopular. They are offering a tax cut to the most wealthy that is 850 times larger than what they are offering working people. Oh and by the way, any tax cuts for working people are going to be washed out by higher costs for basic necessities, like health care and food. It's a fundamental injustice.

Thanks to your pressure and support, many of my Democratic colleagues have joined my effort to do everything we can to make sure they cannot destroy democracy and steal your money in the dark of the night. We are being loud about what is happening. I'm going to continue to grind the gears of Congress down as much as possible to make it that much harder and slower to get away with this corruption. That's why the votes lasted until nearly 5 AM.

This is a five-alarm fire. I don't think we have two years to plan and fight back. I think we have months. It's still in our power to stop the destruction of our democracy with mass mobilization and effective opposition from elected officials. So we can't miss any opportunity to take advantage of opportunities to put Republicans on the record and shine a light on what is happening.

And you have a role to play in this as well. I need you to amplify what's happening, support the leaders who are fighting for you to make sure they can continue speaking truth to power against Musk and Trump's billionaire cronies, and show up at rallies and town halls. Use every tool at your disposal to send a message loud and clear about how you expect my colleagues to lead and fight in this moment.

Every best wish,

US Senator Chris Murphy

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Vomiting It All Up…And It's Only Monday 😫

Trump: 'I run the country and the world'

President Trump shared his thoughts on how his two terms as president have differed, saying in a new interview with The Atlantic that this time around he's leading "the country and the world."

"The first time, I had two things to do — run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys," Trump said in the interview published Monday. "And the second time, I run the country and the world."

 

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The 4th Reich Is At Your Cervix, Ladies!

From Mock Paper Scissors:

Republicans: "At your cervix, Madame!"

"We will support baby booms and we will support baby bonuses for a new baby boom. I want a baby boom." — Adjudicated rapist, convicted felon and career criminal The Orange 🤡

The GOP's corporate overlords need more underpaid children to work in their future factories? Sure, we'll go with that.

White House Assesses Ways to Persuade Women to Have More Children

Baby bonuses and menstrual cycle classes are among the ideas pitched to Trump aides as they consider plans to try boosting the birthrate.

The White House has been hearing out a chorus of ideas in recent weeks for persuading Americans to get married and have more children, an early sign that the Trump administration will embrace a new cultural agenda pushed by many of its allies on the right to reverse declining birthrates and push conservative family values.

One proposal shared with aides would reserve 30 percent of scholarships for the Fulbright program, the prestigious, government-backed international fellowship, for applicants who are married or have children.

Another would give a $5,000 cash "baby bonus" to every American mother after delivery.

A third calls on the government to fund programs that educate women on their menstrual cycles — in part so they can better understand when they are ovulating and able to conceive.

But none of these ideas seem to address the elephant in the OBGYN: why do they want women want to have more children? (emphasis mine)

The coalition of people who want to see more babies born is broad and diverse. They are unified in their concerns about the U.S. birthrate, which has been falling since 2007, warning of a future in which a smaller work force cannot support an aging population and the social safety net. If the birthrate is not turned around, they fear, the country's economy could collapse and, ultimately, human civilization could be at risk.

So they want more kids for a future workforce, but they don't want women to be in the current workforce because they should be incubating the next generation? Do I have that right?

But many in the movement have different reasons for wanting people to have more kids — and often disagree on how to get there. Many Christian conservatives see declining birth and marriage rates as a cultural crisis brought on by forces in politics and the media that they say belittle the traditional family, encouraging women to prioritize work over children. They are pushing for more committed marriages and large families, while some who identify strictly as "pronatalists" are interested in exploring a variety of methods, including new reproductive technologies, to reach their goal of more babies.

The secondary issue is of course culture wars stuff. The wimmins are working, and the  'mos won't procreate, so those marriages are not real marriages, did I get that right, too?

So, come-on ladies, quit your jobs, get hitched, and start pumping-out white, cis-gendered, Xristian babbies or the theocrats will chain you up to the tree out back during rutting season. It's your patriotic duty to Hair Füror!

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What A Fucking Asshole Enemy Of The People

He's going to destroy the U.S. economy. I'm not even sure this is the full list yet.

So basically almost every single country is going to have at least a 10% tariff tax on their imports. I haven't even heard of some of these countries.

He's calling it "reciprocal" because these countries will be imposing tariffs on us in return. Which is the opposite of what "reciprocal" means, but his fanbase won't understand that. And it's obvious HE still doesn't understand how tariffs work. ASSHOLE.

What's weird is that Canada and Mexico seems to be absent so far.

Of course Russia is also absent, but anybody who's paying attention already knew that it would be.

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In Case You Needed Anymore Of A Reason To Drink Tonight

Republican Shenanigans