Category: Food

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Torturing Myself

Despite weeks of therapy, getting solid food down the normal route remains…elusive. I can sip my morning iced caffeinated beverage, but it takes me all day to make it through a 16 ounce cup. But don’t worry…it’s not like I’m not getting any regular food; it’s just getting pureed to within an inch of its life and going in the g-tube. My therapists remain hopeful, however, and won’t let me sink too low into depression, so there’s that.

(And TBH, since I’ve added real food back to my diet the cravings have subsided substantially and I’ve stopped losing weight. The worst part now is the expected attendance at social events where eating is the primary reason for gathering. Lately however, I’ve been avoiding them altogether because—my personal hunger aside [I order everthing to go]—it’s just too difficult to sit there and watch people eat.)

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Torturing Myself

You know what’s funny? I’ve learned that gustational memory is almost as enduring as olfactory memory. I’ve eaten so many things during the course of my life, I know what everything in the pictures I post tastes like (with only a few exceptions). It doesn’t make my current situation any less frustrating—in fact just the opposite because I want to taste them again—but I do enjoy torturing myself nonetheless. If I ever reach the point where I can stuff my face with abandon again, I fear I’m going to regain all the weight I lost in a matter of a couple months I’m sure.

What’s even funnier is that before the surgery, when Ben and I were trying to decide what to have or to go to for dinner, we both just shrugged and said, “Nothing appeals any more.”

Oh, how a few months have changed all that—at least for me.

OMG. The only thing I may want more than a cheeseburger are hard shell tacos!

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Torturing Myself, Cont.

When I’m feeling especially masochistic I watch this guy’s videos:

The good news is that I’ve been able to get small bites of certain foods to go down orally and stay down—at least initially.  I’m learning my limits. Liquids are still a problem, although I did manage to get through half a large iced vanilla latte the other day. (Don’t ask me how. Maybe it was sheer willpower?) But it’s definitely touch-and-go, and can’t even be counted on to repeat day after day.

My therapist still said this was definitely progress and good news. She turned me on to some recipes that can be prepared, pureed and put through the G-tube as an alternative to the formula I’ve been living on since September. Obviously can’t taste the stuff, but it’s nice to get actual food back into my system.

She also had her supplier send me a huge sample pack of “Real Food,” a prepared, pureed product that I’m trying out.

And more good news is that when I went in for my infusion yesterday, it looks like my weight has finally stabilized; I haven’t lost any more since my last weigh-in. I’d like to keep it where it’s at. It’s nice getting into the same size jeans I wore in my 30s…

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Homemade Microwave Popcorn

Found while scouring the WayBack Machine for the old VoenixRising…

From November 2007:

Anyone who knows me will tell you that left to my own devices I’m a popcorn fiend. Unfortunately, over the past few years I’ve discovered that there’s something in commercially available microwave popcorn that causes me to break out in small pimples that waste no time turning into really ugly, open sores that take weeks to heal. Once I made the connection, I went cold turkey, only indulging in the salty, buttery goodness when I went to the movies.

Well, a few weeks ago I stumbled upon a recipe for home made microwave popcorn. I’d often wondered why you couldn’t just throw a bunch of popping corn into a paper bag and nuke it for a few minutes. Turns out that the process is almost that simple, and infinitely healthier for you than buying that commercial crap.

And guess what…no more breaking out!

Today, you will learn that which the huge food companies don’t want you to know. You will learn how simple and cheap it is to make your own microwave popcorn. Lets get started.

First you will need the following ingredients:

    • 1/4 cup of popping corn (generally $0.99 for a pound bag. This is enough to make at least 50 bags of microwave corn)
    • 1 Teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
    • Popcorn salt to taste (it has finer granules than table salt with the same taste)

And the following tools:

    • A stapler
    • A teaspoon
    • A measuring cup
    • A brown paper bag, and—of course
    • A microwave

Step One:

Measure out the popcorn and dump it into the paper bag. Carefully add salt and any additional seasonings you might want. Shake gently. Now add the teaspoon of olive oil.

Step Two:

Close the bag, folding it over twice. Secure with one stable in the middle of the fold. (Contrary to popular belief, staples will not arc in the microwave.) Shake the bag to evenly distribute the corn/oil/salt mixture. Place the bag, side down, in your microwave and nuke it until you hear the popping occurring at roughly 3-5 second intervals. (My microwave has a “popcorn” setting on the control panel. I find that is about fifteen seconds too long.) You might want to put a folded paper towel under the bag to soak up the oil that will seep through the bag.

Step Three:

Open the bag with care because steam will escape and you can get scalded. Pour into a bowl, serve and enjoy the taste and the knowledge that this heaping bag of microwave popcorn cost less than ten cents and isn’t full of unnecessary added chemicals and preservatives!

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RIP

Ben and I went to Chilis for dinner the other night.

I was eagerly anticipating my usual, the original chicken crispers.

For all the years I’ve been going there (since years before Ben and I met, actually) I’ve only rarely ordered anything different than those crispers—and always regretted it. I mean, in my mind, those crispers were the only reason to go to Chilis.

Imagine my horror then when we learned that night that the original crispers are no longer on the menu. The honey chipolte and the crispy variety are still available, but the originals aren’t. And it seems I’m not the only one who is verklempt at this development; if you go on Reddit you’ll see a lot of people are pissed about this. There’s even a petition in the works urging the chain to bring them back. Will it work? Who knows?

In their defense, the crispy crispers aren’t awful, but they aren’t as good as the original, and remind me of what you’d get from Kentucky Fried Chicken…and I know this much, they certainly aren’t enough to make me ever want to set foot in the restaurant again.

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Flashback Friday





El Torero Restaurant, Tucson AZ, June 2007

I’ve been going here since I was in college, and even though I haven’t lived in Tucson since 1985, it’s always a must-stop location for dining whenever I’m in town.

Now I want some patty tacos.