Monday Madness From Jeff Tiedrich


good lord, America’s newest war isn’t even two days old and already it’s a fucktangle of idiocy.

the Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse were all over the Sunday shows, doing what they do best: bragging about Dear Leader’s imaginary accomplishments and saying the dumbest fucking shit imaginable.

let us review the atrocities.

the last time our country got clownfucked into pointless wars, the vice president was the sneering embodiment of evil, straight out of central casting — a guy who literally had no heartbeat, and who got the poor schnook he shot in the face to apologize for getting in the way.

this time, the veep is just some doughy pantload.

let’s listen as Mister Heartbeat Away fields the question, what advice are you giving Donald Trump?’

“the advice that I’m giving him is, ‘sir, trust your instincts.’ he’s got the best instincts of any president I’ve ever seen, of any political leader I’ve ever seen.”

yeah, no. what instincts? Donny Convict is the most easily-hoodwinked goofus on the planet. I’m pretty sure if Iran painted a tunnel on the side of a big rock, he’d run smack right into it.

but please, Couchfuck McGee, do go on.

“I empathize with Americans who are exhausted after 25 years of foreign entanglements in the Middle East. I understand the concern, but the difference is that back then we had dumb presidents”

seriously?

presidents don’t come any dumber than the White House’s current diaperload — the fuckwit who won’t go near a windmill because he’s terrified of coming down with a bad case of noise cancer.

did you know that the Pentagon had to distract Donny with fake war plans because they were afraid he’d tweet out the real plans if he knew what they were?

I shit you not.

At times, Trump’s penchant for social media was the biggest threat to the operation’s secrecy. Last Monday, he posted on Truth Social that “everyone should evacuate Tehran!” The next day, he revealed that he had left a meeting of the Group of 7 in Canada not to broker a Middle East cease-fire but for something “much bigger.” He added, “Stay tuned!”

Inside the Pentagon and the U.S. Central Command, military planners worried that Trump was giving Iran too much warning about an impending strike. So they worked up their own ruse: They had two fleets of B-2 bombers leave Missouri at the same time, one flying east and one flying west.

but please, do tell me again how super fucking amazing Donny’s instincts are, and how smart he is. those are such cute stories.


twenty-two years ago, the Bush administration faked key “evidence” in order to lie us into a war in Iraq. remember Colin Powell going to the UN and holding up a vial of what he claimed was weaponized anthrax?

this time around, they’re not even bothering to gin up ‘proof’ of any threat — they’re looking us straight in the eye and telling us proof is irrelevant.

Margaret Brennan: “are you saying the US did not see intelligence that the Supreme Leader had ordered weaponization?”
Marco Rubio: “that’s irrelevant.”
Brennan: “no, that is a key point.”
Rubio: “no it’s not.”

trust Dear Leader — that’s the shit sandwich being shoved in our faces.

but now, even Massie is happily chowing down on the trust Dear Leadershitwich.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KJQ9kVET58

“he promised us he would put America first. and there are still voices in this administration — you’ve still got JD Vance, Tulsi Gabbard, RFK Jr — you’ve still got calmer heads that could prevail.”

that sound you just heard was Thomas Massie’s credibility flying out the window.

come on, Tom. seriously? Couchfuck McGee is a useless yes-man, and Donny’s already told Tulsi to fuck off.

Kaitlin Collins: “Tulsi Gabbard testified in March that the intelligence community said Iran wasn’t building a nuclear weapon.”

Donny: “I don’t care what she said.”

look who else Massie cites as being a ‘calmer head’: Bobby Brainworms Jr. — the guy who doesn’t understand how germs work. what’s his skill set?maybe he can start a massive measles epidemic in Iran.

these are all deeply unserious people who are in way over their heads — and because Dear Leader decided to stick his dick into a hornet’s nest in the Middle East, they now have to pretend that all wars — like trade wars — are good, and easy to win.

meanwhile, here’s a thing that everyone with a brain saw coming.

no fucking duh, it could spike oil prices. Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz, through which supertankers carry 20% of the world’s crude oil.

wait — did I say oil prices could surge? I meant to say they have surged.

Oil prices surged late Sunday in Wall Street’s first reaction to America’s strikes on three Iranian nuclear facilities on Saturday evening, a major escalation of the Iran-Israel conflict.

US oil futures jumped 2.7% to about $75.80 per barrel at 930 pm ET. Brent futures, the global benchmark for oil prices, increased 2.44%, hitting $78.88 per barrel.

but don’t worry, folks. Donny has a cunning plan to deal with the Strait — and when I say ‘cunning plan,’ I mean it’s one of the stupidest fucking plans you’ve ever heard.

oh jeebus. China — after we just spent two months torturing them with an ever-shifting series of reckless tariffs, now we want them to be our bestie and do us a solid in the Middle East.

we should probably do a wellness check on misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk, and see how he’s coping. you’ll recall that last year, Chuckers was reliably anti-war.
oh look, Charlie’s now toeing the official party line that ‘we have always been at war with Eastasia.’
why am I not surprised? and why am I not surprised that The Kirkster is now wetting his pants over the prospect of sleeper cells?

“Stay armed. Stay vigilant. We have no idea how many sleeper cells are inside the United States. It’s an unforgiveable weakness Biden left this country with. Stay alert. Pray.”

oh great, Gnomey Chuck wants us all armed to the teeth.

I’m loving this idea — because when shit goes sideways, that’s exactly what we’re going to need to be safe: a heavily-armed Meal Team Six, blasting away at everything that moves — including their own legs.

I hardly need to remind you that America is already armed to the teeth, and already has an itchy finger on every trigger.

the last thing we need is for paranoid morons like Mr. I Keep My Gun Trained On The Front Door to have more reasons to fear everything.

nonetheless, get ready to hear a lot about sleeper cells in the days and weeks to come — because a terrified populace is an easily-manipulated populace.

we’ve been down this road before. remember back during the Mad King’s first reign, when they tried to scare the shit out of us with overheated fairy tales about prayer rugs?

Trump cited a story from conservative news outlet the Washington Examiner in which an unnamed rancher living in New Mexico claimed to have found “prayer rugs,” or pieces of carpet used by Muslims for prayer, near her property.

but don’t worry, folks. if there are two million actual sleeper agents in US, thishoncho is in charge of rooting them out.

“As our nation girds for possible Iranian terrorist attacks, this is the person Trump put in charge of terrorism prevention. 22 years old.

Recent work experience: landscaping/grocery clerk.

Never worked a day in counter-terrorism. But he’s a BIG Trump fan. So he got the job.”

fuck me, we’re doomed.


let’s go out with a laugh, as we watch MAGA fall all over themselves in a mad dash to memory-hole any anti-war sentiment they might have once expressed, and proclaim fealty to Dear Leader’s new reality.

we have always been at war with — wait, who is it this week?

Friday Madness


let’s cut right to the chase: this is the part where we throw our heads back in laughter.

anyone with any sense saw this coming a mile away. the first time Mad King Donny and the Space Nazi formed their fucked-up alliance, we knew it was only a matter of time before the whole enterprise went tits-up.

you can’t put two broken-inside man-babies — each of whom believes they hold a divine right to all the money, all the power, and all the attention — in the same room together without creating the kind of atomic chain reaction that culminates in a ginormous smoking crater.

the only question is: what the fuck took so long?

here’s how it all went down. the Space Nazi had been shit-talking Donny’s ‘Big Beautiful Bill’ all week long.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore. This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination. Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.”

which, by the way, was heartbreaking.

the Space Nazi has his own selfish reason for hating the bill: it would end government subsidies for electric vehicles — the very thing that makes his janky Swastikar business viable.

nonetheless, Elon violated the Prime Directive: there must be no criticism of Dear Leader — and so it was throw-down time!

“he’s upset. remember, he was here for a long time. you saw a man who was very happy when he stood behind the oval desk … Elon and I had a great relationship. I don’t know if we will anymore.”

“the oval desk.” everything that Donny says makes so much more sense if you imagine it coming out of the mouth of a two-year-old.

“hey Donny, what shape is your desk?”
“oval.”
“good boy Donny.”

here’s another thing the Mad King said during that q-and-a with reporters:

“I would have won Pennsylvania regardless of Elon…I’m very disappointed with Elon.”

and also:

“I don’t know what it is. It’s sort of Trump Derangement Syndrome, I guess they call it. But we have it with others too. They leave and they wake up in the morning and the glamour is gone.”

and with that, it was go time! on with the battle of the paper-thin-skinned egos!

I mean, what’s even the point of having more money than god if you can’t throw a childish tantrum on your own Nazi-bar website?

“Without me, Trump would have lost the election, Dems would control the House and the Republicans would be 51-49 in the Senate.”

that was all Donny needed to launch into one of his favorite kinds of lies: one where he boasts that the person who quit their job, didn’t really quit — because it was actually Donny who shitcanned their unwelcome ass.

“Elon was ‘wearing thin,’ I asked him to leave, I took away his EV Mandate that forced everyone to buy Electric Cars that nobody else wanted (that he knew for months I was going to do!), and he just went CRAZY!”

Donny can’t even lie without slathering another lie right on top of it. there was never any “mandate” that “forced everyone to buy electric cars.” what the fuck is Donny even gibbering about?

that not-tweet was quickly followed up with this beaut.

“The easiest way to save money in our Budget, Billions and Billions of Dollars, is to terminate Elon’s Governmental Subsidies and Contracts. I was always surprised that Biden didn’t do it!”

fuck you, Space Nazi, for making me agree with Mad King Donny — because once again, hearbreaking.

this caused the Space Nazi to threaten to take his bat and ball and spaceships and go home.

“In light of the President’s statement about cancellation of my government contracts, @SpaceX will begin decommissioning its Dragon spacecraft immediately”

(spoiler alert: Elon’s already backed down from this threat.)

then it was time for the Space Nazi to go thermonuclear.

“Time to drop the really big bomb: @realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public. Have a nice day, DJT!”

that’s your ‘big bomb,’ Elon? tell us something we don’t already know.

nonetheless, how fucking awesome is it that Elon not-tweeted that to his 220 million followers?

next, Elon endorsed an Ian Miles Cheong not-tweet calling for Donny to be impeached and replaced with Couchfuck McGee.

JD spent the next six full hours running around his house, punching his fist in the air, and going ‘fuck yeah, President Vance,’ before finally, at 10:23pm, calming down enough to pretend to support his for-now boss.

“President Trump has done more than any person in my lifetime to earn the trust of the movement he leads. I’m proud to stand beside him.”

oh, look! Rotting Stevie Three-Shirts is calling for Elon to be deported.

Stephen K. Bannon, who has been one of the most vocal critics of Musk for months, said he is advising the president to cancel all of Musk’s contracts and launch several investigations into the world’s richest man.

“They should initiate a formal investigation of his immigration status because I am of the strong belief that he is an illegal alien, and he should be deported from the country immediately,” he said in a phone interview.

COULD EVERY ONE OF YOU ASS-CLOWNS PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY HEART?

natually, Elon reacted in the most Elon way possible.

let me remind you that these are all fully grown adults.


now let’s pour one out for MAGA. let’s keep the cultists in our thoughts and prayers as they navigate this difficult moment.

nah, fuck it. let’s just laugh at their confusion and despair over mommy and daddy fighting.

imagine the frayed, sparking wires inside every MAGA head right now as they watch the two dipshits they worship the most tear each other apart.

for Pizzagate Jack Posobiec, it’s just a thrill to watch the most manliest men ever go at it in the most manliest way possible.

“Some of y’all cant handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows This is direct communication (phallocentric) vs indirect communication (gynocentric) I understand you aren’t used to it”

can’t handle it? bro, we’re overdosing on schadenfreude here. we’re about to deplete America’s Strategic Reserve of Microwave Popcorn.

perennial election-loser and Republican found object Joey Mannarino is another honcho who just can’t believe his good luck in getting to watch the Battle of The Biggest Balls Ever.

“Trump and Elon aren’t attacking one another in a way that won’t be fixed. People forget how men with testicles spar. You’re watching two people with balls the size of the moon debate an issue. This is what masculinity look like.”

jesus, Joey — go take a cold shower.

the cognitive dissonance in the MAGAsphere is off the charts. Dinesh D’ipshit wants so much for all this to just be some kind of ten-dimensional kabuki between Donny and the Space Nazi that somehow ends up with … Democrats in prison?

Is this some sort of perverse scheme to force the release of the Epstein files? How great it would be to have a horde of bad guys publicly exposed. Then Trump and Elon break out the champagne. Elon says, ‘Told you I could get Democrats to scream for that list.’ Laughter!”

go home, Dinesh, you’re drunk.


one immediate result of all this childish fighting is that the Space Nazi lost billions of dollars as shares in his companies plummeted.

Tesla’s shares dropped by about 14.2% on Thursday at market close, wiping roughly $152bn off the value of the company as a feud between Elon Musk and Donald Trump erupted into public view. The former political allies traded threats and insults through posts on their respective social media platforms throughout the afternoon as the company’s price fell.

oh man, you just hate to see it.

ok, I lied. I fucking love to see it.

Elon is just the latest in a long line of arrogant, delusional hubris-monkeys who thought they would be the one who could finally control Donny, and make him dance to their tune. we’ve seen this play out over and over. that shit only works for a short time. sooner or later, it all goes sideways. Donny is too erratic and too literally out of his fucking mind to be corralled.

everything Donny touches, dies.


now let’s celebrate the memesters.

and let’s give the final word to Gianmarco Soresi, because this not-tweet wins the entire internet, forever.

Fuck This Bullshit!

For the past year or so we’ve had a guy come out once a month to trim the hedges, weed the flower beds, and mow the front and side yards . He usually brings a team of two additional guys and between the three of them they bang it all out in about a half hour.  (It would take me that long just to mow the front yard.) He charges a very reasonable $60 for the service, and I tip them 20%.

We usually discontinue service for the winter, since the lawn goes dormant, but once things started warming up in March and everything was growing again, I started the service back up. For the first mow of the season, he had his usual crew with him. The second time I noticed it was just him and I asked what happened to his workers. He said, “They just don’t show up.”  This week it was the same. I asked him again what happened. He just shrugged. “It’s ICE, isn’t it? It’s all so stupid!” He nodded and said, “Yes.”

I Couldn’t Have Said It Better

In response to a Reddit post relaying Felon45’s bad, very unpleasant day in court:

Comment
byu/theindependentonline from discussion
inlaw

Here is the text, in case it disappears from the source at some point:

I mean that’s really just the heart of it.

The entire conservative movement, as it is, based on the things that they do and say, is based on ignorance and lies. There is no element of it that isn’t fundamentally wrong at the deepest level.

And not just on an effective policy level, but on a legal level and on a basic, fundamental, scientific-laws-of-reality level.

That’s why they’ve tried to stack the judiciary and the courts. That’s why they attack institutions of learning, and of scientific research, and that’s why they need to have a massive propaganda network across every media outlet, and that’s why they only keep getting nuttier and nuttier. They have severed all their mooring lines to reality and so they’ll just keep drifting in the abyss of batfuck nuttery forever.

Science offends them because their believes are contradicted by basic scientific evidence. And instead of doing the emotionally mature thing and reframing their understanding, they try to burn down the thing that makes them angry. Like fools.

They are to a great degree deeply immature and deeply emotionally volatile. Their social circles reinforce, rather than correct, these behaviors. They cannot handle any degree of social friction or embarrassment. They know no other way to exist besides social domination because they can’t compromise, can’t empathize, can’t tolerate the possibility they may not understand nearly as much about the world as they want to believe they do, so they double and triple down on forcing those fundamentally wrong views on everyone around them. They aggregate in a giant ignorant mob and burn books, take down websites, throw death threats at anything that contradicts them.

They’re the American Taliban, or any other band of zealous, power-hungry fools. A destructive movement based entirely on dominating everyone else around because they’re just too emotionally fragile to deal.

They’re wrong about trans people. Wrong about autistic and ADHD people, wrong about vaccines, wrong about basic principles of modern medical science, they’re wrong about global warming, they’re wrong about basic economic theory. They’re wrong about who makes a good, competent leader of a nation. They cannot look at a pants-shitting moron octogenarian rapist, fraud, and traitor, and accurately conclude that that is what he is, and that that temperament is disastrous when given any degree of power.

They’re wrong about fucking everything. I’m not talking about on an opinion level. I’m not talking about “well I disagree with your view on this”, they’re just wrong about fundamentally true things that we have proven through our entire corpus of scientific understanding.

So of course Trump’s tariffs crash the market. Of course his idiot EO on gender makes no fucking sense and legally turns all of us into women. Of course his supporters die in far greater numbers from COVID after he tells them not to mask and to swallow a bottle of horse dewormer.

Because they’re wrong. Because they make shit up, and it’s not fucking true, and it doesn’t fucking work and everyone has a bad time because you’re listening to, taking the advice of, and being legislated on behalf of, fucking idiots.

It’s just our great misfortune we have so many people in this country so totally divorced from reality that they’re willing to follow along with this sheer stupidity.

The heart of a nation is the law, and the heart of the law is the truth.

The entire process of the law is about determining, to the best of our ability to do so, what the truth is. Which persons did what actions. What did those persons believe and think at the time of those actions. What damage did those persons do, and what fundamental rights were violated in doing so?

That’s what the law is, at its core, and that is why the conservative party cannot, and indeed should not, ever govern.

The only thing they can do with power is destroy. They build nothing. Their entire endeavor is simply gaining, and retaining power. Not governing once they have it. Just breaking, and stealing, and lying, and cheating their way into more power.

To truly build through legislation requires an adherence to the truth. The absence of truth in law is corruption. Corruption doesn’t build, it only takes. It erodes. Supplanting truth with whatever ruling or outcome is most convenient to the rich and the powerful, at the expense of the rest of the nation.

In the past twenty years, conservatives have started two forever wars on a lie. They have spread constant and obvious lies about the climate. They have spread lies and conspiracy theories about their political opponents, about their own nature and intentions in power. About their fellow citizens. They have enshrined judges to the highest positions in the land who lied outright in their confirmation hearings and proved themselves a liar in contradictory and profoundly unconstitutional rulings.

They lie. They operate in bad faith. They con, and cheat, and grift, and seek power so that they can abuse power.

And you can tell me all you’d like that what the conservative party is now, isn’t “real” conservatism, but I don’t know what you’re talking about when you tell me you’re a “real” conservative. Regan? Back when he was banning guns because black people owned them, and lying about AIDS existing or being “caused” by gay people?

Conservatives have always been this. Dating back to the days they thought they could own people and force those people do to their labor. This is who they are, what they are. Obsessed with hierarchy. Obsessed with dominance. Too immature to deal with the world as clear-eyed adults, and dooming everyone around them because they refuse to come to grips with a reality that terrifies them.

We have given these fools power over and over and over again and they have destroyed, and they have stolen, and they have ruined. They are fools. Their words and their actions prove this so many times over, and the sooner the collective people of America come to grips with who and what these people are, the faster we can actually begin the road to undoing the damage their ignorance and stupidity and stubbornness and cruelty has done to the rest of us, and to the rest of the world, too.

EDIT: When I was three or four years old, somewhere around there, my parents were trying to teach me how to write the alphabet. I was very good, except at some point I became convinced that the letter “e” was written like “n”. I didn’t really have a reason to believe that, except that maybe I just got mixed up looking at a chart once and decided that was the way it was.

My parents were trying to teach me how to write my name – which ends in e – and I wrote it perfectly, except every time, I wrote ‘n’ at the end.

And they tried to tell me, very nicely, that that was not correct. It was written ‘e’, not ‘n’.

And the more they told me that, the angrier I became. They showed me the chart, and very clearly demonstrated that the letter was ‘e’. They showed me in books where people had my name, and showed me that it was written ‘e’ at the end.

They showed me incontrovertible proof that I was wrong in as nice a way as they possibly could.

So, I ripped up the paper and threw it at them. I told them I hated them and that they were stupid. I stormed into my room and I wouldn’t come out the rest of the night. I cursed them under my breath and threw a tantrum and hurled toys against the wall.

I didn’t have a concept on how wrong I was. I figured, hey, I got all the other letters right, who was to say I was wrong about this one? My parents? Pff. What did they know?

I was too young and too ignorant to understand how much more my parents knew than me. How limited my scope of understanding was.

I only had my own hurt feelings, my tiny baby pride, and I was desperate to protect it, to find a plausible lie to live in where I was right. It seemed plausible that I could be right, because I simply lacked the breadth of perspective and maturity and experience and wisdom to understand even how much I lacked. Dunning Krueger.

And this conservatives. This is the fundamental truth of them. This is who they are, what they are. This is the molten core that fuels everthing they do, and think and believe.

They live their entire lives like this, and conservatism, and Donald Trump, that is is their ‘n.’ The incontrovertible proof of how profoundly wrong they are which they refuse to let go of, because subconsciously they cannot bear the pain of admitting they were wrong. They cannot face it. They cannot face the torrent of shame, and guilt, and a lifetime of pigheadedness that waits behind the door of them reconciling themselves with reality.

The longer they remain in ignorance, the greater their debt to reality becomes. And they cannot pay it, cannot even read the total on the bill slipped under the door.

They have made it an integral part of their identity and have decided they would rather die inside the house than admit it is on fire. It is not congruent with reality, but they do not have the emotional maturity to change. To grow. So, they double down. And triple down.

For many of them, some part – a very small part – understands the bill is there on the floor near the door.

They don’t pick it up. Won’t pick it up. Many will never develop the emotional courage to admit that they are acting like irrational children too terrified to be wrong to begin redressing their grievous errors. Testimonies and interviews of people in post WWII Germany reveal that many of the common folk who voted for Hitler never admitted the magnitude of what they’d done. Never admitted their mistakes. Never fully reconciled with them.

But they know. And this is part of the reason they’re so miserable and angry all of the time. They live in cognitive dissonance, and are refusing to look at the light and find their way out.

Hilariously a percentage of the Maga Kult think that this is all some really smart, carefully designed plan to show the media up and to break down the facade of the deep state when really we’re just seeing the end of the white supremacist patriarchy, how stupid and incompetent they really are and what happens when they think they can just get away with being their real authentically stupid, ignorant selves

[Source]

Let’s All Watch Some MAGA Shithead Get Bounced From A Bar

From Jeff Tiedrich:

everything sucks right now, so let’s put the focus on our hero of the day. sit back and enjoy the shit out of this bartender eighty-sixing some Trumpist fuckwad.

bartender: “get out of the bar.”
MAGA: “why?”
bartender: “because you’re a Trump supporter.”
MAGA: “I know, but don’t you guys want our money?”
bartender: “no, actually, we don’t. get out of my bar right now. [picks up baseball bat] I’m not fucking around. get out of my bar right now.
MAGA: “are you serious?
bartender: “I’m dead serious. out.”
MAGA: “because I’m wearing a Trump hat.”
bartender: “yes.”
MAGA: “that’s wild.”
bartender: “I don’t care. get out.”
second bartender: “we can call the police, or you can just leave.”
MAGA: “you know this is, like, discrimination, right?”
bartender: “boo hoo. boo fucking hoo. get out of my bar.”


fuck yeah. that was satisfying. boo fucking hoo, indeed. here’s your binky, MAGA. now take a hike.

here’s the backstory.

the MAGA asshole who got bounced — and is now whining to the press about it — wants you to believe that she was some innocent victim who wandered into a random bar and met up with some surly bartender.

that’s not the case at all. the cultist — and her friends — showed up to cause trouble, and they got what was coming to them.

the bar in question is the Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis. the joint is LGBTQ+ inclusive, and much of the staff is trans.

it’s possible that Fuckface von Maga and her fuckface friends didn’t even know any of that when they showed up to make a scene. maybe they were just offended by the pride flag hanging outside the bar, and decided that it was their divine mission to stir up shit.

here’s David Andrichik, the bar’s owner, to explain.

“We were set up. This was a plan to do something like this. We don’t believe the people that came in to instigate even knew what Chatterbox was, but they came in because of our pride flag,” which is displayed outside the jazz bar.

premeditated or not, these MAGA shitstains stepped inside the Chatterbox and immediately cranked the asshole dial way past eleven. they shouted. they got abusive and confrontational. they deliberately misgendered the bartender. and they got tossed the fuck out.

and then, they came back in and recorded the clip you saw at top of this post — and went whining to the media about it.

look at us, we’re the real victims here! they hated us for our hats! so unfair! come see the violence inherent in the system!

like their beloved Dear Leader, the cultists always imagine they’re the real victims — everything is unfair, and everything is rigged against them.

all we wanted was to hang out. the bartender was so mean to us.

MAGA, you are cordially invited to fuck straight off with your divisive hate. could you just fucking well leave people alone? they just want to live their lives in peace. next time you see a pride flag, just walk on by. the Earth won’t fall off its axis. I promise.

cultists, can we talk? you’re getting played by the ruling class, and you don’t even realize it. you’re being distracted from the real enemy.

‘keep the people ignorant and fighting each other, and they won’t notice the plutocrats picking their pockets’ is right on page one of the oligarch’s playbook.

and please shut the fuck up already about how unfairly you got treated. you acted like an asshole and you got treated like one.

you fucked around, and you found out. enjoy the tiniest of violins.

here’s the official statement the Chatterbox posted to their Instagram account.

On Friday, March 14th, a group of individuals visited Chatterbox and intentionally misgendered and harassed a Chatterbox employee, resulting in them being asked to leave by our staff. They then continued verbally assaulting our patrons and staff, threatened our establishment, and returned to record a video which has now been posted on multiple social media platforms.

The Chatterbox is home to a diverse group of staff and patrons. We do not tolerate dehumanizing or disrespectful language or symbolism in our establishment. We have a right, by law, to refuse service to anyone who disrupts our business. We look forward to continue being a home for people who love music and appreciate our community.

forgive me for once again reposting what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, but it’s a tale can’t be told often enough.

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, “no. get out.”

And the dude next to me says, “hey i’m not doing anything, i’m a paying customer.” and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, “out. now.” and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, “you didn’t see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them.” And i was like, oh ok and he continues.

“you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it’s always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don’t want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too.”

“And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it’s too late because they’re entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down.”

of course, what happened at the Chatterbox isn’t totally analogous — Fuckface von MAGA and her friends weren’t polite, and they certainly weren’t there to infiltrate — but the lesson is the same: you have to nip that shit in the bud. zero tolerance for Nazi assholes.

fuck around and find out is in short supply right now. let’s celebrate when it happens.

if you find yourself in Indianapolis, stop by the Chatterbox and show them your support.

Road Trip

We needed to get out of the house, out of the city, out of our heads for a bit, so this morning we headed south to Organ Pipe National Monument—because who knows how long any of our National Parks will be around at this point.

Lots of sahuaro and cholla cactus; not so much organ pipe.

And then we came upon this…

You’ve read about it. You’ve seen it on videos. But nothing prepares you for the horrific, ugly in-person reality of the orange felon’s border fence separating the United States and Mexico:

I don’t understand the gates. Why are there (admittedly welded shut) gates? What is their purpose?

I wonder how MAGA would react if Canada erected a similar fence on their southern border to keep us out…

And my final thought was are these fences being built to keep them out or to ultimately keep us in?