Category: Fuck This Timeline

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Will Humanity Ever Outgrow This Bullshit?

Greg Bovino cosplaying Local Gruppenführer

You like playing a WWII German, Greg? Well, here’s a nice German word for you:

How many times do we need to go through this? Is it going to be every generation’s burden to smash these fascist assholes into the ground going forward, or is there some way to purge this Nazi bullshit from human consciousness once and for all?

This does not lead to the Star Trek future so many of us actively envision and want. (Granted, there were Nazis in Star Trek canon but they were on a single planet whose society had been poisoned by a rogue Star Fleet captain. And then there was the whole “alternate universe” thing introduced in some of the more recent series, but for the most part, that was not where humans in the Star Trek universe went.)

What do you think? Are we destined to forever ride this karmic wheel, switching roles between aggressor and victim each lifetime ad nauseum?

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Midweek Tiedrich

loyal and patriotic citizens, please stand by for a message of the utmost importance from the President of the United States, Supreme Ruler of the Western Hemisphere, Lord-Emperor of the Sky Above and All the Planets, and God’s Own Avatar on Earth.

ready? here’s the message: ‘fuck you.’

Trump makes obscene gesture, mouths expletive at Detroit factory heckler

“As far as calling him out, definitely no regrets whatsoever,” the heckler told The Post after a video captured Trump twice mouthing “f— you” and raising his middle finger.

here’s how that shit went down: Donny’s handlers got the bright idea to let him out of his gilded bordello, so he could tour a Ford factory in Detroit — and that’s when factory worker TJ Sabula won himself the Nobel Heckling Prize by shouting “pedophile protector!” at Dear Leader.

Out of frame in the video, a person can be heard yelling “pedophile protector” just before Trump mouthed the insult — an apparent reference to the Trump administration’s handling of the investigation into the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

‘an apparent reference’ — oh, Washington Post, you’re adorable. never change.

did Donny simply ignore the taunt and get on with his life, as any dignified leader would? of course he didn’t. the fragile dipshit just couldn’t let it pass. he replied ‘fuck you’ twice, and then gave Sabula the finger.

another day, another perfectly presidential performance from our Toddler-in-Chief.

by the way, Ford has suspended TJ Sabula, ‘pending an investigation.’

I have a question: pending an investigation of what? is Ford going to investigate whether or not Donny protects pedophiles? because we’ve already sussed that shit out.

fact check:

should anyone really be surprised by Dear Leader’s infantile behavior? after all, Donny’s been giving us the finger for years now, on a daily basis.

what, you want sane governance? fuck you. you want peace and justice? fuck you. you want coherent economic policies? fuck you.

you want honesty and accountability? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t lie straight to your face? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t use the government to enrich himself? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t see you as a rube to be fleeced? fuck you.

you want to be able to walk down the street without getting assaulted by masked and armed government thugs? fuck you.

you want to see those Dead Pedo Bestie files? fuck you twice.

here’s Preznit Fuckyou on his way to Detroit.

reporter: “the premier of Greenland said today, ‘we prefer to stay with Denmark.’”

Donny: “who said that?”

reporter: “the premier of Greenland.”

Donny: “well, that’s their problem. that’s their problem. I disagree with him. I don’t know who he is. don’t know anything about him. but that’s gonna be a big problem for him.”

‘that’s going to be a big problem for him’? what the fuck? this isn’t how a head of government talks. this is how a gangster talks. Donny’s answer could have come straight out of the mouth of Tony Soprano.

what, you want a president who doesn’t sound like a mob boss? fuck you.

you want a president who at least bothers to learn the names of the people who lead the countries he’s so horny to invade? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t destabilize the world just to feed his ego, and shit all over decades-old alliances? fuck you.

Donny didn’t just tour that Ford factory during his playdate. he also gave a speech to the Detroit Economic Club.

naturally, he used the occasion to rehash every batshit grievance — real or imagined — rattling around in his big dumb pumpkin head.

“how about the swimming records? I mean you could go to sleep during the time the man comes in and the woman. you could go take a nap for a little while. how about the long-distance race that took place not so long ago? long long distances. marathon deals. they had top men, top women. man came in. THE WOMAN CAME IN FIVE HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS behind the man. think of it. you’re waiting. the man comes in. now you’re waiting five hours. what do you do? you can go home and sleep for a while. who the hell wants that? it’s so demeaning to women who are great athletes. demeaning to them. and it’s right now in the Supreme Court. I can’t believe it would even go to the Supreme Court.”

what the fuck is Donny gibbering about? what does any of the fever-swamp nonsense that just seeped from his rancid anus-mouth have to do with economics?

what, you want a president whose rotting brain doesn’t pinball incoherently from one subject to the next? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t obsess over stupid bullshit? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t manage to be both transphobic and misogynistic at the same time? fuck you.

what, you want a president with an ounce of empathy for the woman who was gunned down by one of his own armed thugs? fuck you.

“one of the reasons they’re doing these fake riots— I mean they’re just terrible. I mean you see it’s so fake. ‘shame! shame! shame!’ you see the woman. it’s all practiced. they go practice. they go to— there is— they take hotel rooms and they all practice together. it’s a whole same. we’re finding out whose funding all this stuff, too. we pretty much know.”

once again: what the fuck is this lunatic babbling about? none of that shit is happening. nobody is ‘rioting,’ they’re peacefully protesting — and what even is a ‘fake riot’? women aren’t practicing in hotel rooms. nobody is getting paid to protest. We the People loathe Donny so much we’ll happily protest for free.

this the stupidest shit you’ll hear all day, and Donny believes every word of it.

what, you want a president whose brain hasn’t been pickled from marinating in the dumbfuckiest of conspiracy theories? fuck you.

the ‘fuck your feelings’ crowd is sure having a lot of feelings right now.

Laura Ingraham: “there was one dimwit in the scene who screamed something about Epstein. Trump flipped him the bird. I hope it was the thunderbird.”

hey, Laura, you know what? fuck your feelings.

good lord. if Joe Biden had ever flipped off a factory worker in public, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would have shit a massive brick, and turned it into a month-long scandal.

here’s a fun post from Lincoln Square Media.

Our Detroit staff has received reports from Ford workers that the President’s body odor was ‘like bad breath mixed with feces — I can’t describe it, but I’ll never forget it.’ yikes.”

is it true? who the fuck knows? it’s certainly believable.

and lastly, let me leave you with some words of wisdom.

live your life in such a way that when you die, your obituaries don’t open with how you were such a ginormous racist asshole that you fucked your own career straight into the shitter.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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Thursday Tiedrich

what. the fuck. was that?

here’s what we were promised: a prime-time address to the nation, in which the President of the United States would soberly tout his achievements of the past year, and lay out his agenda for the future.

here’s what we got: some high-as-fuck shitwit, gibbering a mile a minute, gripping the podium for dear life, and barking out a non-stop barrage of obvious lies and nonsensical numbers.

“I negotiated directly with the drug companies, foreign nations, which were taking advantage of our country for many decades, to slash prices on drugs and pharmaceuticals by as much as four hundred, five hundred, and even six hundred percent. in other words, your drug costs will be plummeting downward.”

math, how does it work?

clearly, Donny and his handlers are in full panic mode. his approval numbers are in the shitter — so much so that even his own party is beginning to openly defy him. even Fox News can’t hide how toxic Donny’s become.

the magic is gone. no one but the braindeadest of his cultists believe his fever-swamp lies any more. I’m sorry, but you just can’t convince anyone who actually has to shop for groceries that prices are going down.

so what does Preznit Fuckwit do? he decides to go on TV and lie harder, and louder.

everything — and I mean everything — that came out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth last night was a lie. he once again claimed to have ended eight wars. he hasn’t. he claimed tariffs have already brought eighteen trillion dollars into the US. they haven’t. he claimed things are already more affordable. ha fucking ha. he claimed everyone’s getting a tax cut. has he even read his own Big Stupid Bill?

the NY Times’ White House reporter pretty much threw in the towel

investigative journalist Adam Cochran actually did a fact-check, on not-twitter. look at this encyclopedia-length screed.

the big question of the night, though, was ‘what the fuck was Donny on?’ — because he was obviously hopped up on something. he seemed ready to jump out of his skin.

clearly, Donny’s handlers didn’t want him up there looking haggard and worn out, as he pretty much always does these days — but they over-corrected.

who knows what they pumped Dear Leader full of, but it was as if the squirrels that live inside Donny’s head were having a cocaine-fueled orgy.

so there was Little Donny Motormouth, yammering away at top speed — so much so that what should have been a half-hour speech was over in just about under eighteen minutes.

when all was said and done, experts agreed: what the fuck was that?

isn’t it heartening when Republicans and Democrats can reach across the aisle to shake hands and agree that Dear Leader is crazier than a shithouse rat?

tell me, is it bad when your own party knows you’ve shit the bed?

“Why is he yelling at us?” conservative talk radio host Erick Erickson said on X.

Said right-wing blogger Matt Walsh on X: “That was perhaps the most pointless prime time presidential address ever delivered in American history.”

is it worse when your cultists think you’re stark barking bonkers?

“Trump is speaking so fast he seems panicked,” supporter Trisha Hope posted online. “I’ve never seen him like this, and I have attended 42 of his rallies.”

what can one even say? the kompromat the have on Old Linz must really be something.

who even knew that Newt Gingrich was still alive? this ancient nitwit is so far past his sell-by date that I don’t think he even knows what planet he’s on.

“I believe President Trump showed tonight that he’s prepared to focus, to be disciplined to communicate — and if I were a Democrat, tonight would leave me very unnerved.”

it’s always fun watch Newt run away from reality as if it were a sick wife in a hospital bed, isn’t it? Democrats aren’t unnerved after watching Donny blither. Democrats are laughing their asses off.

Donny’s in desperate need of a course-correction right now, but going on TV to repeat a bunch of drug-fueled lies isn’t going to do it. everyone who isn’t being paid to pretend otherwise knows he’s full of shit, and is doing nothing to make life easier for We the People.

and things are about to get so much worse.

it was a wild fucking ride in the Holy Mike’s House of Reps yesterday.

The House on Wednesday cleared a Republican health care package, 216-211, that does not extend the expiring Affordable Care Act (ACA) subsidies.

Four moderate Republicans who had earlier Wednesday bucked GOP leaders and signed a Democratic-backed discharge petition voted in favor of the health care package. Rep. Thomas Massie was the only Republican no vote.

the healthcare bill the House passed now goes to the Senate, where it’s expected to die.

as for the discharge petition that now forces a vote on restoring the ACA subsidies, House rules allow Holy Mike to delay the actual voting until after the new year.

Johnson’s assertion came after the four Republicans broke ranks and signed onto House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries’ discharge petition, giving it the 218 signatures needed to force a vote, though that is not likely to occur until January 2026 at the earliest.

which means that for millions of Americans, healthcare is going to become unaffordable after January 1st, when the ACA subsidies expire.

I can’t wait for Donny to go on TV and try to lie his way out of that.

mind you, Holy Mike could hold a vote on restoring the ACA credits right now, if he wanted to — but here’s what he’s doing instead: adjourning the House for the rest of the year, after today’s session.

what’s that thing P.J. O’Rourke used to say? oh right:

“Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.”

here’s the other thing that happened yesterday: FBI Deputy Director Danny Bingobongo quit. officially, he’s leaving after the start of the new year — but apparently, he’s already cleaned out his desk.

Bongino had quietly told confidants he planned to formally leave his job early in the new year and would not be returning to headquarters to work this month, according to eight people briefed on his account. He later confirmed the report on X.

it seems that Danny misses his old life as a grifter and podcast bro.

“Dan did a great job,” Trump told reporters earlier, when asked about reports that Bongino, a former Secret Service agent turned podcaster, planned to resign.

“I think he wants to go back to his show,” the president said.

so, Dan’s desk at FBI headquarters is already gathering dust.

that’s certainly interesting timing, isn’t it? because the Dead Pedo Bestie Files are being released tomorrow — and I don’t know about you, but I’m as giddy with anticipation as a SecDef with a new skateboard.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: fishes like no one thought possible

as Jesus sagely counseled us in his Sermon on the Mount, blessed are the dipshits, for they will crap their dumbfuckery all over social media.

exhibit A: internet found object Nick Adams.

oh look, it’s the parable of the fishes and the loaves, wherein Jesus, armed with two fish and five loaves, miraculously feeds five thousand of his faithful flock. and I guess that Donny Convict is our modern-day Jesus? whatever you say, MAGA. I’m pretty sure that if Jesus returned today, he wouldn’t be some racist kiddie-fiddler.

have you ever noticed that every time the cultists wants to show an image of Dear Leader helping someone, it has to be ginned up by AI?

let’s get real. we all know what would happen if Donny decided to get into the fishes and loaves business.

first of all, fuck that ‘give it away for free’ shit. that’s not how Preznit Greedface rolls. dude’s always gotta make a buck. so he’d sit himself down and record a video announcing Trump Fishloaves™. he’d go on and on about how these are amazing fishloaves, beautiful, delicious fishloaves, possibly the greatest fishloaves of all time. and then he’d set up a web site and start taking pre-orders for $499.00.

and every MAGA shitwit would be all ‘shut up and take my money’ — because stupid doesn’t magically cure itself overnight.

and then, six months later, some reporter would go ‘hey, whatever happened to those Trumploaves™?’ — and the answer would be bupkis. zip. nada. because the whole fucking thing was a scam from the get-go — just like those $499.00 Trump phones.

and then we’d find out that the gluttonous fuck ate all the fishes and loaves himself, in one sitting.

but sure, MAGA. you keep telling yourselves how Dear Leader is some awesome humanitarian. it’s such a cool story.

tuesday: blessed are the gullible

podcast bro Joe Rogan’s whole deal is that he’s a credulous meathead. he’ll sit there like a lump as some raving conspiracy loon barks out the batshittiest fever-swamp hallucinations imaginable — after which Joe will nod his head, take a long drag off a joint, and go ‘huh. I didn’t know that.’

but Joe’s not above making his own nonsensical high-as-fuckpronouncements.

“Jesus was born out of a virgin mother. what’s more virgin than a computer? if Jesus does return, even if Jesus was a physical person in the past, you don’t think he could return as artificial intelligence? artificial intelligence could absolutely return as Jesus.”

I think it’s high time (see what I did there?) for Joe Rogan to put down the joint — because I’m pretty sure he meant ‘Jesus could absolutely return as AI.’

this unknown twitterer says it far better than I ever could.

as someone who attended high school in the early 1970s and had many friends with older brothers, I can confirm that this is 100% true.

wednesday: blessed are the fuckfaces

are you a devout, godfearing MAGA woman who can’t find a husband? well, listen up — because Christian nationalist fascist Joel Webbon has some advice for you.

“lose 20 to 30 pounds.”

I have some advice for MAGA men who can’t find a wife: grow a personality — and try to be less of a hateful asshole.

I know it’s hard, but try.

thursday: Kash and carry

Thursday’s big news was the announcement that the person suspected of planting bombs at the DNC and RNC headquarters the night before January 6, 2021 had finally been apprehended. and — spoiler alert — it wasn’t (as so many on social media had hoped) a certain three-toed freak of nature.

put your disappointment aside for a moment, because — hey, you want to see in-way-over-his-head FBI Director Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel drag irony out back to the gravel pit and shoot it in the head?

“when you attack our nation’s Capitol, you attack the very being of our way of life. we will always refute it and combat it.”

seriously, there, Kash? always?

fact check: fuck all the way off.

because Dear Leader pardoned all fifteen hundred of these Capitol-attacking shitheads on his very first day in office.

oh, and here’s a fun fact.

the suspect is a Trumper, so no one should be surprised when he gets pardoned, too.

pretty suspicious timing, to catch this guy right now. the only thing you need to know about this whole dog-and-pony show is that Donny’s name is on every page of the Epstein Files.

friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot

on Friday, some fucking idiot started his day by announcing that he had “just approved TINY CARS to be built in America.”

you’re welcome, America!

what the crap? does the fucking idiot not understand how free enterprise works? anyone who wants to build a TINY CAR already has the freedom to do so. they don’t need some kingly proclamation of approval. for fuck’s sake, his entire administration already fits in a tiny car.

can we not, at long last, confine this fucking idiot to a padded room? maybe one with a throne in it, where he can sit all day long and make royal declarations to his heart’s content. ‘I have just approved UNDERWEAR to be worn on everyone’s heads. ENJOY!!!’

anyway, after that bit of dumb-assery, it was off to the main event. the fucking idiot was awarded the FIFA Peace Prize.

which turned out to be a cheap piece of gold-plated metal that he hung around his neck.

does the fucking idiot not grasp that the entire world is pissing its pants laughing at him right now? he’s the only person who isn’t aware that he’s an overgrown child being handed an imaginary Very Special Boy Participation Trophy. he took the whole farcical spectacle seriously.

he’s a joke — an international joke being told at America’s expense. it’s all so embarrassing.

but the fucking idiot’s day wasn’t over yet. he had one more trick up his sleeve. he announced that he was ending free admission to national parks on Juneenth and Martin Luther King Day — as one does when one is a demented racist.

oh, but the fucking idiot did add one new free admission day: June 14th, the fucking idiot’s own birthday — as one does when one is a demented narcissist.

YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA!!!

and not one worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled media stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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Tuesday Tiedrich

some days, everything in the news is so unbelievably stupid that I don’t even know where to start. so I’m just going to spin the Big Wheel of Moron and see where it lands. ready? here we go.

“China was gonna hit us with rare earth. now, everybody says that ‘what does that mean?’ magnets. if China refused to give magnets, ’cause they have a monopoly of magnets, ’cause they have allowed to— you know, happened over a thirty-two year period. uh, there wouldn’t be a car made in the entire world. there wouldn’t be a radio, there wouldn’t be a television, there wouldn’t be internet, there wouldn’t be anything, because magnets are such a part— now, nobody knows what magnets are. and not overly sophisticated, but to build a magnet system would take two years.”

you know, I’ve been writing about Preznit Fuckwit for years now, and I’ve become pretty fluent in moronspeak — but even I can’t make heads or tails of this burst trashbag of word-adjacent noises.

if you explained China’s rare earth magnet policy to any random first grader, and asked them to repeat it back to you, you would no doubt get something more comprehensible that Donny’s incoherent babbling.

but check out this nugget buried in Donny soliloquy.

‘nobody knows what magnets are.’

if anyone reading this post doesn’t know what magnets are, could you please check yourself into the nearest Soylent Green facility, because you’re wasting perfectly good oxygen.

you know who doesn’t know what magnets are? Donny. he’s every-accusation-is-a-confessioning again. Donny’s mystified by magnets. all he knows is they stop working if they get wet.

Preznit Fuckwit is an imbecile who doesn’t know shit about shit.

Donny’s befuddled by the power switch on a computer. wrap your head around that. back in March, Laura Ingraham asked him what field his college-bound son Barron might go into. Donny’s answer went straight into the Dumbfuck Hall of Fame.

“maybe technology. he can look at a computer. I’m trying, turning off his computer, I turn it off, I turn it off, his laptop, I said ‘oh good now,’ and I go back five minutes later, he’s got his laptop. I say, ‘how did you did that?’ ‘none of your business, dad.’ he’s got an unbelievable aptitude in technology.”

*blinks in astonishment*

holy shit, President What’s The Deal With Magnets got outwitted by an on-off switch.

this is the the Superior Intellect who, as his fifth casino went bankrupt, said ‘hey, let’s open a sixth.’ he’s that stupefyingly dumb. and he’s currently negotiating rare earth magnet policy with China. he’s going to get eaten alive.

77 million people voted for this. take a bow, America. you’ve outdone yourself.

well, that was fun. let’s give the Big Wheel of Moron another spin.

here’s Holy Mike Johnson, once again weaseling out of answering the age-old question, ‘if you’re going to shitcan Obamacare, what will going to replace it with?’

we’ve got notebooks full of ideas.”

oh please, fuck straight off with this nonsense. for fifteen years, an endless procession of Republicans have told us that their plan to replace Obamacare is just around the corner. any day now. two weeks, tops.

there is no Republican plan to replace Obamacare, other than ‘please just go away and die.’

last week Holy Mike assured us a plan was almost ready, but he couldn’t talk about it because he didn’t want the details to leak. what on earth? this week, he’s got notebooks full of ideas. next week, it’s going to be some new story. maybe his dog will have eaten his healthcare plan.

shut the fuck up, Mike. we’re not as gullible as your cultists.

it turns out we don’t need Holy Mike’s imaginary notebook full of nonexistent ideas, because Donny’s finally released that healthcare plan he’s been working on since forever. check it out:

wait, how did that get in here? I’m sorry, here’s Donny to explain his actual plan.

“what I want is instead of going to the insurance companies, I want the money to go into an account for people where the people buy their own health insurance. it’s so good. the insurance will be better. it’ll cost less. everybody is gonna be happy. they’re gonna feel like entrepreneurs. they’re actually able to go out and negotiate their own health insurance. and they can use it only for that reason, to be only for that purpose. and if we did that, that would be so exciting. call it Trumpcare.”

are you fucking kidding me? what Donny is proposing here is to construct a new layer of government bureaucracy — one that’s going to create millions of individual bank accounts that can only be used to pay for health insurance, and somehow, money will magically show up in these accounts, and all of us get to be our very own entrepreneurs.

yay us!

and who’s going to administer this? Bobby Brainworms and the Shitblizzard of Oz? really? the two low-wattage imbeciles who couldn’t healthcare their way out of a wet paper bag?

instead of calling Trumpcare, how about we call it The Most Fuckbrained Thing I Ever Heard Of.

Donny gets away with this shit because no reporter will ask the simple question, ‘how would that work?’ they just sit there and nod their heads, as if the gibberish that just seeped out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth made all the sense in the world.

can we get that confused first grader back in here to cook up a healthcare plan? because I’m pretty sure she could do a better job than Donny.

when President Gas Leak farts out some cockamamie scheme to create an unworkable bureaucracy administered by morons, and backs it up with ‘it’s so good. the insurance will be better. it’ll cost less. everybody is gonna be happy’ — without offering on iota of explanation how on earth it would happen — there’s really only one appropriate response. say it with me, because you know what it is. that’s right: what the fuck is wrong with you?

look, I don’t need an additional job, that of Insurance Policy Negotiator. I’m actually pretty shit at negotiating. I don’t like admitting that, but it’s true. but now I have to be William Fucking Shatner, just to obtain healthcare coverage?

I guarantee our soft, pampered president hasn’t spent one second of his life on the phone with an insurance company. he has no idea what a fucking nightmare it is.

you know who’s going to leap at the chance to go head-to-head with an insurance company? MAGA morons, that’s who — because just like Dear Leader, they’re all convinced of their own genius. imagine the dipshit down the street — the one with all the Trump flags on his broken-down pickup truck — on the phone with some corporate sharpie. he’s going to get fleeced, and end up with a plan that’s ten times worse than the one he got through Obamacare — and he’s going to brag about how he pulled one over on United Healthcare.

look, there is a simple insurance solution out there. let me explain.

I’ve got Medicare. it’s provided to me by the government. it’s reliable. I never have to talk to an insurance company. it just fucking works. I never have to worry about being bankrupted by a visit to the hospital. we should expand on that, and make it available to everyone, not just old farts like me. we could even give it a fancy name. how about Medicare for All?

wouldn’t that make the most sense?

I’m a fucking genius, right?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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that’s all, folks. it’s over and done. the once-stately East Wing of the White House has been completely reduced to a pile of rubble.

here’s another thing that’s now a pile of rubble: our Constitution. masked ICE thugs trample over it every day on the streets of our cities.

want more rubble? just look at our tariff and trade policies, and our relationships with our allies. they can’t trust us to be honest — or even coherent — about anything.

does any sane person believe any of the fairy tales our government has been spewing about the fishing boats they’ve been blowing up, without providing one scrap of evidence? our credibility is also a pile of rubble.

hey, you know what else is a pile of rubble? Preznit Fuckwit’s poll numbers — because everything fucking sucks right now, and none of this shit is popular.

Harry Enten: “Donald Trump’s doing absolutely awful in the minds of the American people. what are we talking about? we’re talking about new lows for Donald Trump. he’s hit new lows for himself. Trump’s economic net approval rating hits lows with these pollsters. CNBC, look at this: down now minus 13 points in the net approval rating on the economy. you come to this side of the screen, it’s minus 19 points among Quinnipiac, and keep in mind, we’re talking about hitting record lows for Donald Trump in either his first term or his second term. the bottom line is that Donald Trump is at the lowest point ever in either of his terms…. Donald Trump is beating himself in the way you don’t want to beat yourself: record lows.”

Preznit Fuckwit is the least-popular president since Preznit Fuckwit.

Donny’s been praising himself to high heaven these days, bragging about how the price of everything has gone down by all the percents. thousands, maybe even millions. low prices like no one thought possible. sir! sir! how do you do it?

Donny can lie all he wants, but his pungent mouth-farts only float so far. people still have to go shopping. they know first hand that the price of everything has been skyrocketing lately.

oh, and this just in from The New York Times, as I’m writing this post.

and that doesn’t even factor in health insurance premiums, which are on their way to going through the roof.

we don’t yet have poll numbers on Donny’s desecration of East Wing, but you know that none of what’s going is likely to be popular.

even the White House knows this fuckery is radioactive. yesterday, they sicced their goons on reporters covering the destruction.

“Look away! New: US Secret Service has closed access to the Ellipse park where journalists had been capturing live images of the East Wing demolition. CNN had a photojournalist capturing live images of the demolition at the time. Reuters was also ushered out of the park.”

what a good look for this fascist administration, closing a public park and ejecting the press. they really don’t want We the People to find out what they’ve been doing to our House, do they?

too late, you fuckfaces. the photos are already out there.

gone. just fucking gone. all that beauty, all that history.

destroyed, just so that a broken-inside narcissist can build his tscky dance hall for billionaires.

what a fucking travesty.

our next Democratic president is going to have a lot of cleanup work to do — but one of the many things they must campaign on is a vow to put all this shit back the way it was before Cankles McRottinghand assaulted it. not just the Epstein Ballroom, but also the parking lot where our beloved Rose Garden used to be.

tell me, does Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ inability to remember who he’s pardoned lately make his ass seem demented?

Kaitlin Collins: “today you pardoned the founded of Binance. can you explain why you chose to pardon him, and did it have anything to do with his involvement in—”

Donny: “who is that?”

Collins: “the founder of Binance. he has an involvement in—”

Donne: “the recent one? yes, the— uh— I believe we’re talking about the same— because I do pardon a lot of people. uh, I don’t know. he was recommended by a lot of people. a lot of people say that— are you talking about the crypto person? uh, a lot of people say that he wasn’t guilty of anything, and he served four months in jail. they say that, uh, he was not guilty of anything. what he did— well, you don’t know much about crypto. you know nothing about— you know nothing about nothing, you fake news.”

Donny’s such a charmer, isn’t he?

come on, media, be fair. Donny’s been springing a shitload of convicted criminals from prison. how can you expect him to keep them all straight?

imagine that a reporter had asked Joe Biden about someone he’d pardoned, and his answer was ‘fuck if I know, I just sign whatever they put in front of me.’

Jake Tapper would have spontaneously orgasmed right then and there, and started writing ten new books. but have you heard a peep out of him now?

let’s refresh Dear Leader’s memory. here’s why you pardoned the founder of Binance, you thieving old kleptocrat.

The pardon of Zhao, widely known as CZ, came two months after The Wall Street Journal reported that the Trump family’s own crypto venture, which has generated about $4.5 billion since the 2024 election, has been helped by “a partnership with an under-the-radar trading platform quietly administered by Binance.”

oh, was that wrong?

because Donny has to plead ignorance on this thing. because if anyone had said anything at all to him when he first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon…

I’m so old, I remember when Tricky Dick’s veep, Spiro Agnew, resigned after he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Spiro’s crime was bribery and tax evasion, to the tune of twenty nine thousand dollars. seriously, that’s all? twenty-nine large? that’s chicken feed. Tom Homan won’t even pick up the phone for less than fifty.

but Spiro’s real crime was being born fifty years too soon. if he was around today, Donny would pardon him in a heartbeat — and then completely forget who Spiro was, and get pissy with the first reporter to ask him about it.

twenty-nine grand. what a laughably minuscule sum. Donny’s ripping us off for billions — and he’s pardoning all of his accomplices.

what is even going on in this next clip? is Donny claiming credit for popularizing the f-word?

“they’ve even now started imitating me, of all people. the want to imitate me, and they start using foul language. but they use too much of it. you can’t use the f-word seven times in one sentence. it doesn’t work. it might work once every seven news conferences, but you can’t do it— you can’t do it seven times in one sentence.”

fuck you, you fucking fuck. don’t you fucking tell me how fucking often I can fucking say fuck.

dude, am I right?

here’s your hero of the day: Polka Dot Lady.

a couple of days ago, masked ICE thugs showed up in lower Manhattan to round up Chinese street vendors who were guilty of the dastardly crime of selling cheap knock-offs — and our anonymous hero was having none of it. apparently out for a lunch-hour stroll, she saw what was going on, and she was all this fuckery ends now.

here she is, giving a New York welcome to an armored military vehicle.

look at her mix it up with law enforcement, while wearing business clothing. talk about being dressed for success.

Polka Dot Lady is fearless.

we have no idea who this brave woman is, and we have no idea if she was one of the five people arrested for assaulting officers.

Polka Dot Lady, whoever you are, wherever you are — we salute you.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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He’s A Fucking Moron

 

Isn’t it funny sad how you can say, “He’s a fucking moron,” pretty much anywhere in the world in 2025 and everyone will know who you’re talking about?