this is an updated version of my Memorial Day post from May 27, 2024.

today is Memorial Day. you're going to hear a lot of bloviating from the Usual Republican Suspects about how much they honor and respectour nation's fallen heroes.

they're going to be all over social media, tweeting out the same old boilerplate platitudes about duty and sacrifice.

it's all bullshit. the GOP fucking hates our troops.

as always, watch what they do, not what they say.

soldiers, sailors and marines are useful props whenever some asshole conservative needs to burnish their "patriot" cred, but when it comes time to actually support them — say, by helping them when they're in need — it's a completely different story.

here we have a bunch of Republican Senators fist-bumping. why? because they just blocked a bill that would have expanded healthcare coverage for military veterans exposed to toxic burn pits during their service.

who the fuck celebrates that?

awesome job, you evil soulless hypocrites — because nothing says "we support our heroes" so much as "just fucking die."

fast forward to this year. in April, the Space Nazi's merry band of pimply DOGE incels showed up at the Department of Veterans Affairs and said good news, everyone — you're all fired. they then took a wrecking ball to the place.

right now, the VA is so understaffed that veterans calling in with need for assistance can't get anyone to answer the phone. that's "just fucking die" on steroids.

listen up, shitheads: you send a person into a war zone and tell them to fight for their country, and when they come back injured and permanently disabled, you fucking well take care of them — forever.

it's basic human decency.

head-trauma poster boy Tommy Tuberville is a complete bag of shit in every way. he's posted an eight minute video about how super fucking grateful he is for our troops. don't bother watching it, you'll just get stupider.

"It's Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day is about more than just grilling out by the lake. It's a time to reflect and be grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom."

ugh.

let's not forget that Mr. Should Have Worn A Helmet When He Played Football single-handedly blocked all military promotions for the better part of a year. why would T-Tubes do this? because he had worked himself up into a big hissy over a Pentagon policy that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions. how dare they.

Terminally-Concussed Tommy so screwed with U.S. military readiness that a top Marine general ended up hospitalized from a cardiac event caused by the stress of having to do two jobs at once.

but sure, Tommy — please tell us once more about how you're "grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom." no, wait — don't bother.

just fuck all the way off.

here's something that white supremacy's middle manager, Steve Scalise, tweeted out on Veterans Day 2023:

"America is the greatest nation in the history of the world because of the bravery and sacrifices of our veterans. Join me in thanking and honoring all those who answered the call to serve our country and defend our freedoms—because without them we'd have neither. #VeteransDay"

Steve, with all due respect, you too can go fuck yourself.

let's have a look at your stellar record:

you voted against the VA Employee Fairness Act, the Veteran Service Recognition Act, the PACT Act (twice), the Equal Access to Contraception for Veterans Act, and the Ensuring Veterans Smooth Transition Act.

for a guy who claims to honor those who made sacrifices, you have an odd way of showing it.

last Veterans Day, Handy Oakley took a minute off from playing lap hockey to post this drivel:

"Without our Veterans the American Dream would not be possible. To anyone who has ever worn the uniform, thank you!"

sit down and shut the fuck up, you vapid bobblehead.

let's see how you show your appreciation: in your first term in Congress, you made 15 anti-veteran votes. in 2023, you voted to cut funding for the 49,000 veterans in your district by supporting a bill that would gut their health care.

---

and don't even get me started on this diaperload.

Cadet Bone Spurs has spent his entire life finding ways to insult and dishonor our troops. Biden-Harris HQ assembled this greatest hits video:

here's what this dipshit posted this morning on his own crappy app:

right back atcha, draft dodger.

let's not forget that in November 2018, as world leaders gathered at a cemetery in France to honor the memory of US soldiers killed while fighting in World War One, Donny blew the whole thing off — because it was drizzling lightly and he didn't want that weird tangle of piss-colored bullshit on top of his head to get wet. instead, he spent the day rage-tweeting from his hotel room. good times, bro, good times.

let's not forget this disgraceful episode:

on October 4, 2017, four US soldiers involved in special operations in Niger were ambushed and killed.

how did Commander-in-Chief Dickface von Fuckstain react? he told the families of the slain soldiers that "they knew what they signed up for" and then engaged in a petty twitter spat with a grieving widow.

then he went on TV to praise himself and brag about how he handled the situation better than Obama would have. he also disavowed any responsibility for the soldiers' mission.

let's also not forget that in conversations with his chief of staff John Kelly, Donny referred to prisoners of war as "suckers" because "there is nothing in it for them." he also called soldiers killed in action "losers."

then there was the time that the US Navy had to hide an entire fucking warship, the USS John S. McCain, because they knew that Trump would throw a shit-fit if he saw it.

what kind of overgrown diaper-baby gets mad at a fucking boat?

let's not ever forget that incident in 2024 when Donny barged his way into Arlington National Cemetery to do a disgraceful thumb's-up campaign photo-op while trampling over the graves of fallen heroes — and grinning like an asshole the whole time.

when an Arlington staffer — a US Army sergeant — tried to stop this abomination from taking place, Donny's thugs roughly shoved her out of the way, because fuck you, that's why.

while campaigning last year, he mocked Nikki Haley because her husband, an active-duty soldier, is deployed overseas.

"Where's her husband? Oh, he's away. … What happened to her husband? Where is he? He's gone," Trump said at his rally in Conway, his first visit to the state this year.

Michael Haley is deployed in Africa with the South Carolina Army National Guard in support of the United States Africa Command, his second active-duty deployment overseas.

hey, remember that Pentagon policy that got Terminally-Concussed Tommy Tuberville so upset — the one that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions? Tommy should be happy now, because Donny shitcanned it four days after taking the oath of office.

now I want to repost something I wrote on September 24, 2023 — because of all the shitty episodes regarding Little Donny Fuckface's callous treatment of our troops, this one just might be the rock-bottom worst:

meanwhile, another heartwarming story came to light this week, about Donald Trump's deep and enduring love and devotion for our nation's wounded combat troops.

At his welcome ceremony at Joint Base Myer–Henderson Hall, across the Potomac River from the capital, Milley gained an early, and disturbing, insight into Trump's attitude toward soldiers. Milley had chosen a severely wounded Army captain, Luis Avila, to sing "God Bless America." Avila, who had completed five combat tours, had lost a leg in an IED attack in Afghanistan and had suffered two heart attacks, two strokes, and brain damage as a result of his injuries. To Milley, and to four-star generals across the Army, Avila and his wife, Claudia, represented the heroism, sacrifice, and dignity of wounded soldiers.

It had rained that day, and the ground was soft; at one point Avila's wheelchair threatened to topple over. Milley's wife, Holly­anne, ran to help Avila, as did Vice President Mike Pence. After Avila's performance, Trump walked over to congratulate him, but then said to Milley, within earshot of several witnesses, "Why do you bring people like that here? No one wants to see that, the wounded."Never let Avila appear in public again, Trump told Milley. (Recently, Milley invited Avila to sing at his retirement ceremony.)

what a cold-hearted dick.

"why do you bring people like that here? no one wants to see that, the wounded."

imagine you're a severely wounded soldier. after five combat tours, sacrificing yourself for your country — you find yourself in a military hospital, minus one leg, your life permanently altered. you live though months of hell — bedridden, undergoing multiple operations and grueling physical therapy — and when finally you're discharged, you're confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life.

and what does the President of the United States — your Commander in Chief — say about you?

"no one wants to see that, the wounded."

fuck you, Donald Trump. you piece of shit.

let's look at how a real patriot honors our troops.

one year ago, President Joe Biden gave the commencement address to West Point's graduating class. afterwards, he spent over an hour saluting and shaking the hands of each one of the 1,036 graduates. he didn't ask what was in it for them. he didn't call them suckers and losers. no one had to hide any warships.

at this year's West Point commencement ceremony, after rambling incoherently about trophy wives to mystified cadets, Donny Convict teetered off stage and hurried the fuck out of there. the MAGA-cap-wearing shithead didn't shake a single hand.

he then spent the rest of the day cheating at golf at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.

Donny, Tuberville, Scalise, Handy Oakley, the whole worthless lot of them — the next time any of these grandstanding hypocrites starts going on and on about how much they love the shit out of our troops, remember: watch what they do, not what they say.

 

(This has been verified.)

shh! don't wake the elderly golfer. funerals make him sleepy.

From Jeff Tiedrich:

way to represent America, dumb-ass

think back to those super-fun days of last summer, when Donny Not-Yet-A-Convict was on trial for having cooked the books to make hush-money payments to a porn star look like legit campaign expenses.

remember what would happen every morning? Donny would take his seat at the defendant's table. he'd glower at the press, then immediately close his weary eyes and begin snoring, as he filled the courtroom with the pungent aroma of narcoleptic farts.

well, guess what: Sleepy Don is back, baby.

there's a book I'd like to recommend to Donny. it's called The Art Of How About Not Falling Asleep At A Funeral, You Stupid Fuck — because Sundowning Grandpa Fascistpants gone and done it again. right in the middle of Pope Francis' funeral, the deteriorating dumbshit once again closed his peepers and started sawing logs.

who does that?

spoiler alert: nobody. no one else among the assembled mourners felt the need to drift off to beddy-bye land and let rip some aromatic ass-music.

not even Joe Biden — the guy everyone said was too old to president.

let's compare and contrast the dude America kicked to the curb with the one they elected to replace him.

oh good fucking lord. try not to drool on yourself, grandpa.

hey Donny — remember how you never shut the fuck up about Sleepy Joe this and Sleepy Joe that? well, who's the sleepy one now, you barely-conscious old coot?

hey, did you notice anything else about Donny?

that's right, in a sea of somber black and dark grey — the dress code dictated by the Vatican, by the way — Donny's decked himself out in one of his hideous blue suits.

oh look, The New York Times is still failing us.

President Trump, it seems, is fully committed to going his own way when it comes to international relations — even during the funeral of a pope.

nice framing, New York Times. they want their readers to know that Donny isn't dressed like a sore thumb because he's a belligerent asshole who does whatever the fuck he wants. oh, no, Donny's a rugged individualist. a rebel outlaw. President Hombre doesn't play by your rules, squares. he's "fully committed to going his own way."

did Donny falling asleep get a mention in the press? I haven't seen one yet.

imagine if President Biden had fallen asleep while representing America at a state funeral. the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media would have had a fucking field day, and turned it into a weeks-long scandal.

but Donny, open-mouthed and snoring up a storm? crickets.

hey, let's watch Emmanuel Macron take Donny on a one-way trip to snub city.

check out the warm handshake Macron gives Zelenskyy. it's not a perfunctory 'good to see you again' shake. it's a hearty, extended 'we're brothers' handshake.

now here comes Donny for his handshake — and he doesn't get one. Macron ignores Donny's outstretched hand — because fuck you, that's why.

let's gif that shit for posterity.

sorry, Donny. no one respects the rodeo clown.

Macron was surely tired of that asinine Battle of the Alpha Bros handshake that Donny tries to pull on him every time they meet. you know the one: if you go to shake Donny's hand, he's going grab yours and roughly jerk it towards him, in an attempt to get you to stumble and fall. it's a childish I'm the dominant dog thing.

Donny got away with that shit during his first term, but now everyone knows it's coming, and prepares for it — and no one more so than Macron. now, every time they meet, Macron grabs Donny's hand and does not let go.

no one's putting up with that shit any more, Donny. everyone's hip to your infantile dumb-assery. it's a wise old saying: 'fool me once, shame on me, and also, you're a tiresome asshole. stop playing silly dominance games, you broken-inside child.'

good going, Donny — you've turned yourself — and America — into an international pariah.

(yes, I know — Donny and Manny eventually shook hands later that day, during a ceremony called the Sign of Peace, where everybody shakes the hand of the person next to them. Macron couldn't opt out of that one.)

let's talk a walk down memory lane, and revisit a few of Sleepy Don's greatest hits.

there were the aforementioned impromptu courtroom slumber parties.

fun fact: uncontrollable day-sleeping is a common sign of dementia.

Dr. John Gartner, who spent 28 years as a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, has an explanation:

"To uncontrollably fall asleep during the day is something that's very common among patients with dementia."

A defendant falling asleep in court is "literally so uncommon, it's basically unheard of." Gartner said he's spoken with several lawyer friends who each told him that they've never seen a defendant falling asleep in court during their entire careers.

here's Donny last October — three weeks before the election — at a campaign roundtable event in Michigan.

Donny's handlers had a ready-made excuse for this one: he's "exhausted."

Why does this keep happening? Another outlet was recently given an explanation by Trump's team for why their own interview wasn't coming to fruition: exhaustion.

here's what I wrote about it at the time:

that's so sad. but also it's a stunning admission from Team Trump, less than three weeks from the election. sorry, our guy is pooped. can you imagine the media feeding frenzy that would result if Kamala bailed on an interview, and then her people explained it was because she had to go nappy-nap?

hey, can someone get grandpa here a bowl of applesauce and then take him to bed? the poor old guy is plumb tuckered out. he just can't hack the rigors of campaigning any more. I mean, look at this dilapidated old dipshit.

my god. why is Team Trump torturing this tired old duffer? at this point, putting Donny on a stage night after night is elder abuse. what he needs is a mug of Ovaltine and his favorite blankie, not a microphone and a podium.

Donny wasn't up to the rigors of campaigning last October, and he's not up to the rigors of being president right now.

I don't even know where this one is from, but my god — Donny's Slovenian trophy wife sure hates his fucking guts.

finally, can I just confess how completely jealous I am of Molly Ploofkins, because she thought of this quip, and I didn't?