Category: Fuck The Orange Felon

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Area Fascist Demands Voters Show Their Papers

From Mock Paper Scissors:

Yesterday, Lord Damp Nut signed another Executive Order, this time demanding that the states surrender election control to the federal government or else he will pull funding to the offending state, which is impoundment and is patently illegal:

NEW YORK (AP) — President Donald Trump on Tuesday signed a sweeping executive action to overhaul elections in the U.S., including requiring documentary proof of citizenship to register to vote in federal elections and demanding that all ballots be received by Election Day.

The order says the U.S. has failed "to enforce basic and necessary election protections" and calls on states to work with federal agencies to share voter lists and prosecute election crimes. It threatens to pull federal funding from states where election officials don't comply.

The move, which is likely to face swift challenges because states have broad authority to set their own election rules, is consistent with Trump's long history of railing against election processes. He often claims elections are being rigged, even before the results are known, and has waged battles against certain voting methods since he lost the 2020 election to Democrat Joe Biden and falsely blamed it on widespread fraud.

[Before we fall too far into the rabbit hole, remember the executive orders are essentially memos, and not laws. And duh, a memo that instructs someone to break a law is definitionally not allowed. ]

We've covered the civics of elections before, our pals at Electoral-Vote explain to us why this memo is stupid:

Broadly speaking, this XO is mostly bark, and not a lot of bite. The federal government has very little role in administering elections, and so has little right to dictate terms under which elections are conducted. Indeed, even the provision of federal law that prohibits non-citizens from voting in federal elections, which was only adopted in 1996, might not be legal—it just hasn't been tested in court. Whoever it is that is writing Trump's XOs for him clearly knows all of this, which is why "enforcement" of the order rests not in any existing legal authority, but instead in the threat that if states don't do what they are told, they will lose federal funding.

The emptiness of the order is best illustrated by looking closely at the portion that made all the headlines yesterday, namely the part about proving one's citizenship in order to be able to vote. Since there is absolutely no way that blue states are going to go for that (as doing so would effectively justify Republicans' phony arguments about mass voter fraud), what the order actually does is order the Election Assistance Commission (EAC) to change the federal voter registration form to include a proof-of-citizenship requirement.

There are many problems here from the vantage point of the Trumpers. First, the EAC is an independent agency, and not subject to presidential orders. Further, like the FEC, it is deliberately set up to have an equal number of Democratic and Republican commissioners (2 of each in the case of the EAC; 3 of each in the case of the FEC). So, there is no reason to think the EAC is going to play ball here. And even if they do, then people who don't have proof of citizenship, or don't feel like proving their identity just 'cause The Man says so, will just use their state's registration form. And all of this is before we talk about the lawsuits that are coming, and that the administration will lose. Oh, and if Trump does try to yank funding in order to punish a state for not following his decrees, that's a different set of lawsuits, since that would be impoundment, which is illegal.

So we've seen this movie before, we know the ending. I'll add to the mix that the Constitution very clearly gives election management to the individual states, and to change that it would require an amendment to the Constitution, requiring ⅔ of both houses of Congress to approve and ¾ of the States to ratify.

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You Can't Make This Shit Up! 🤣 🤣 🤣

From Politico:

Judge targeted by Trump is assigned to Signalgate lawsuit

Judge James Boasberg will preside over a case alleging that Trump administration officials violated federal record-keeping laws when they used Signal to discuss military plans.

U.S. District Judge James Boasberg was randomly assigned to preside over the Signalgate case. | Valerie Plesch/Bloomberg via Getty Images

By KYLE CHENEY

U.S. District Judge James Boasberg — the object of President Donald Trump's fury for blocking his effort to summarily deport Venezuelan nationals using wartime powers — just got a second crack at the administration's handling of national security: Signalgate.

Boasberg on Wednesday morning was assigned to preside over a lawsuitalleging that Trump cabinet secretaries and national security aides violated federal record-keeping laws when they used a Signal chat group to discuss a planned military strike in Yemen — and inadvertently included an Atlantic journalist in the group.

The twist of legal fate arrived just as the scandal exploded further with the Atlantic's release of the full text exchange — in which Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth previewed, with specific references to timing and weapons, an attack on Houthi militants. The exchange, initiated by National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, included Hegseth, Vice President JD Vance, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe.

A spokesperson for Boasberg confirmed that the case was assigned to him through the court's typical random assignment process. There are 20 judges on the federal district court bench in Washington, D.C.

The assignment of the case to Boasberg comes just two days after the Trump administration, in the Venezuela deportation case, invoked the "state secrets" privilege to refuse to share details with the Obama-appointed judge about the timing of deportation flights to El Salvador.

Boasberg is pressing the administration for details about the flights to determine whether officials violated his order earlier this month barring Trump from deporting people under the Alien Enemies Act, a 1798 law last invoked during World War II. But administration lawyers argued that "disclosure would pose reasonable danger to national security and foreign affairs."

Rubio, notably, submitted a declaration to Boasberg justifying the state secrets invocation, saying that sharing details about the flights with Boasber—even under seal or in a classified setting—would endanger national security.

"The more widely information is shared the greater the risk that the information will reach the public (even if unintentionally)," Rubio wrote.

Now, Rubio is a defendant in the Signalgate lawsuit brought by American Oversight, a left-leaning government watchdog group. He is being sued not only for his involvement in the text exchange but also for his dual position as acting head of the National Archives, which is responsible for preserving records used by government officials in the course of their work. The Atlantic reported that Waltz set the text thread to automatically delete.

Boasberg prompted a furious backlash from Trump and his allies when he halted the administration's deportation efforts earlier this month, ruling that the administration appeared to be violating due process requirements by tagging Venezuelan nationals as terrorists and rushing them onto planes with virtually no chance to contest the designation.

Trump called for Boasberg's impeachment, a call that was echoed by some members of Congress, and has unleashed near-daily attacks on the judge

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Words of Wisdom

For those who are stressed out and depressed by reading about politics, but don't want to completely block it out and risk being uninformed, here's a tip: Focus your reading on solutions, not problems. Read only articles and posts about what is being done to solve the problems we face, or about what should be done about them — about those who are fighting back against Trump's depredations in various ways, how you can help do so, how the Democrats need to change in order to win elections in the future, and suchlike. Skip the ones that are basically just "here are all the latest terrible things that are happening" or "here's yet another example of how bad and awful and terrible Trump is". You already know bad things are happening and you already know Trump is awful. Wallow­ing in more of that will just depress you further while providing nothing positive. Reading exclusively about resistance and positive action will keep you still informed but a lot less stressed out. – Infidel753

[Thanks Rick]

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No, Donald Trump Can't Eliminate The Department Of Education

From Palmer Report:

Donald Trump has announced that he's signed an executive order eliminating the Department of Education. But in reality he's done no such thing. The Department of Education can't be eliminated by executive order. Even if it could, Trump's executive order doesn't claim to eliminate it. Only Congress can do that, and it would require sixty Senate votes – which will never happen. So why is Trump lying and claiming that he's eliminating the Department of Education.

Part of this is, obviously, to fire up his anti-government, anti-education, pro-ignorance base. The irony of their anti-education stance is that it makes it very easy for someone like Trump to fool them into believing that he's done something that he hasn't done. And so Trump gets to score points with his ignorant base just by making this false announcement, which they'll accept as fact.

Given Trump's declining cognitive condition, it's even possible that he believes his executive order has eliminated the Department of Education. Trump's babysitters appear to be selling him on all kinds of simplistic imaginary victories in order to keep him happy. But there's more to it than this, and it involves us.

By announcing that the Department of Education has been eliminated, Trump (or whatever babysitter cooked up this scheme) is trying to fool us into believing that it's a done deal. We're not ignorant enough to fall for this kind of thing, But we are busy, scattered, and trying to fight Trump on a dozen fronts at once amidst a confusing haze of disinformation. Accordingly a whole lot of folks on our side came out of this week believing that Trump has eliminated the Department of Education. Which is the point.

As important as the Department of Education may be to you, you're not going to fight to save it if you think it's already gone. And so the Trump regime is very much hoping that Trump's announcement this week has left you with the impression that the Department of Education has been shuttered and that the battle is over. Because then you won't bother to fight him on it.

In reality the Department of Education is very much alive. Trump can't kill it. Nor can this Congress under its current makeup. But they can drastically cut its funding, lay off a large number of employees, and weaken the agency to the point that it's not nearly as effective. In fact they're beginning to do this already this week – and they're hoping you won't notice because you're too busy mistakenly mourning the outright death of the Department of Education.

This is why it's so important to look past Trump's words, which nearly always overstate his abilities and actions, and to look past the media's resulting hyperbole, which nearly always attempts to convince us that we've already lost the battle and that there's nothing left to do but stare at our screen. We have to look at what's actually going on, what is and is not actually possible, what's actually happened. Then we can assess how specifically to fight back.

Right now we should be fighting to save the Department of Education from pending funding cuts and raise awareness about how important it is for all Americans to protect the agency. If all we do is sit around making social media posts that mistakenly mourn the death of an agency that hasn't died, all we're doing is making it easier for Trump to keep harming the agency. So let's go save the Department of Education. It's very much alive, but also very much in need of our immediate support.

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The Week In Stupid

From Jeff Tiedrich:

monday: ai yi yi

what the fuck is this nightmare fuel?

"Elon Musk is a family man
The safest place on Earth is in their arms.
Moments like these become priceless memories."

notice anything weird about the Space Nazi's 'family'? that's right, they're not the flesh-and-blood kind — they're the vomited-out-by-some-hellish-AIkind. by some miracle, the one hand we see in that pic has the correct number of fingers on it.

apparently there is an entire cottage industry of keyboard warriors churning out dozens of computer-generated images of the Space Nazi surrounded by imaginary families.

excuse me, but what the fuck is going on with the face of Inbred McYokel in the blue denim jacket?

make no mistake. the Space Nazi is not a 'family man' — he's a turbocharged sperm donor who has made it his mission in life to squirt out as many replicants has he can — with as many women as possible — in some racist race to out-breed the swarthy hordes. however, once the little kidlets are out of the oven, he forgets about them. if Elon were a 'family man,' there would be photographic evidence, and his legion of fan-boys wouldn't have to rely on gruesome AI-generated hocus-pocus.

in fact, the only one of his demon spawn that Elon takes any interest in at all is the Crown Prince Snotwiper.

but apparently Elon's now outsourced the raising of the Crown Prince to Dear Leader. god help him.

 

tuesday: 100% of morons make my head hurt

try to read this next item without your blood pressure spiking — because hey, guess who just woke up to the fact that America pretty much fucking sucks now.

that's right, a whopping 83% of PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE IN 2024 are unhappy with how unfettered fascism is working out for them.

I can't even.

folks, I'd like to propose a new rule: if you didn't vote, you don't get to fucking complain. in fact, if you didn't vote, please stand in the corner and face the wall for the next four years and think about what you've done.

wednesday: look who sucks

uh oh, noises are coming out of Fox News found object Jesse Watters' face-hole again.

"I have rules for men. like you don't eat soup in public. you don't cross your legs. and you don't drink from a straw. his excuse was I was drinking a milk shake. again, you shouldn't be drinking a milk shake. milk shakes are for kids."

I have a rule for Jesse Watters: shut the fuck up.

guys, can we talk? the last thing anyone needs to be doing is living their lives to dictates of some toxic Fox News meathead. no well-adjusted dude thinks about any of this shit. you want to suck on a straw? then fucking suck on a straw. who gives a shit? worrying what other people think doesn't make you manly — it makes you weak, insecure and fragile.

right, Jesse?

thursday: we don't need no edumocation

thursday was the day that Donny Convict pretended to abolish the Department of Education.

spoiler alert: he can't — to actually do so would require an Act of Congress.

regardless, all the Sewer Clowns fanned out to wax romantic about how super fucking awesome it's going to be once America no longer has any national standards for educating its children.
pictured: happy schoolchildren in Georgia, circa 1909

even the Space Nazi got into the act — but folks, can we all just agree that if you want to dance on the Department of Education's grave, that you at least learn how to spell 'department'? because otherwise, you might look like a fucking imbecile.

oh dear.

and should any of us really be surprised that down there in America's dangly bit — the swampy state of Florida — their own Departmen(t) of Education can't spell 'twelfth'?

friday: gone with the windbag

oh joy of joys, the Space Nazi's dad is back in the news. when last we checked in with good old Errol Musk, he was managing to be racist, homophobic and transphobic at the same time.

"Obama's a queer, married to a man who dresses as a woman."

isn't Errol a charmer? well, homeboy's found a new way to cover himself with glory.

Errol Musk, the father of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, believes that his son can't be racist due to his past relationships with "Black servants" who worked for the family in apartheid South Africa.

'we can't be racist, all our servants were black' is such a persuasive argument, can't you agree? oh, and according to Errol, apartheid was pretty fucking amazing — if you had the foresight to be born white.

"We lived in a very well-run, law-abiding country with virtually no crime at all," he said. "Actually no crime. We had several black servants who were their friends."

we've tracked down an exclusive photo of Elon O'Musk and his childhood best friend, Mammy.

saturday: ?

hey, it's still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do.

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Yes Virginia, They Really Are That Stupid!

20-25 million people from nations all over the world died fighting against the Nazis. The US didnt even show up for years after it started. They sat and watched everyone else fight and die.

Rest of conversation –

REPORTER*: So, just to clarify—your position is that France owes its entire existence to the United States?

LEAVITT: Absolutely. If it weren't for the U.S., the French would be speaking German right now. That's just a fact.

REPORTER: Interesting. Because if it weren't for France, we wouldn't even have the United States. Ever heard of the American Revolution? France bankrolled it. Sent troops. Fought Britain on multiple fronts. And, oh yeah—gave us the Statue of Liberty as a symbol of freedom. Do we only acknowledge history when it's convenient?

LEAVITT: Well, the United States has been the beacon of global freedom—

REPORTER: Right, and who gave us the actual beacon? The French. And let's not forget, France won World War I before the U.S. even entered it. So by your logic, does that mean Americans should be thanking the French for not speaking German in 1918?

LEAVITT: That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying—

REPORTER: Also, if we're going down this road—how about the Louisiana Purchase? You know, that huge chunk of land that doubled the size of America? Bought it from the French. Are we sending them a thank-you note?

LEAVITT: Look, I think we're getting off track here. The point is—

REPORTER: The point is, we didn't just swoop in and save the day while France sat around waiting. Nations cooperate, trade, and yes, sometimes even rescue each other.

17. März 2025

*This reporter tells the truth but is fictive. The real American press has lost its balls.

The real press lack the balls. They're not press. They're stenographers.

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Unfortunately once the orange felon regained the White House he stopped giving a single shit what anyone—except his buttbuddy Vlad—thinks.

Notice he hasn't had any of his emotional support rallies lately?

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Americans Look For A Solution

From Mock Paper Scissors:

Looks like Americans are waking up and asking the right question…

…but they are not going to like the answer: The prznint can "unremove" hisself in both section 3 and section 4. And besides, with ghouls like Cap'n Guyliner and Pornhub Moses right behind, is this really a solution?

If you think that convicted felon and career criminal The Orange 🤡 is going to give anyone any power even while having a camera up his flabby ass, you don't understand his pathology.

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Let's All Watch Some MAGA Shithead Get Bounced From A Bar

From Jeff Tiedrich:

everything sucks right now, so let's put the focus on our hero of the day. sit back and enjoy the shit out of this bartender eighty-sixing some Trumpist fuckwad.

bartender: "get out of the bar."
MAGA: "why?"
bartender: "because you're a Trump supporter."
MAGA: "I know, but don't you guys want our money?"
bartender: "no, actually, we don't. get out of my bar right now. [picks up baseball bat] I'm not fucking around. get out of my bar right now."
MAGA: "are you serious?
bartender: "I'm dead serious. out."
MAGA: "because I'm wearing a Trump hat."
bartender: "yes."
MAGA: "that's wild."
bartender: "I don't care. get out."
second bartender: "we can call the police, or you can just leave."
MAGA: "you know this is, like, discrimination, right?"
bartender: "boo hoo. boo fucking hoo. get out of my bar."

fuck yeah. that was satisfying. boo fucking hoo, indeed. here's your binky, MAGA. now take a hike.

here's the backstory.

the MAGA asshole who got bounced — and is now whining to the press about it — wants you to believe that she was some innocent victim who wandered into a random bar and met up with some surly bartender.

that's not the case at all. the cultist — and her friends — showed up to cause trouble, and they got what was coming to them.

the bar in question is the Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis. the joint is LGBTQ+ inclusive, and much of the staff is trans.

it's possible that Fuckface von Maga and her fuckface friends didn't even know any of that when they showed up to make a scene. maybe they were just offended by the pride flag hanging outside the bar, and decided that it was their divine mission to stir up shit.

here's David Andrichik, the bar's owner, to explain.

"We were set up. This was a plan to do something like this. We don't believe the people that came in to instigate even knew what Chatterbox was, but they came in because of our pride flag," which is displayed outside the jazz bar.

premeditated or not, these MAGA shitstains stepped inside the Chatterbox and immediately cranked the asshole dial way past eleven. they shouted. they got abusive and confrontational. they deliberately misgendered the bartender. and they got tossed the fuck out.

and then, they came back in and recorded the clip you saw at top of this post — and went whining to the media about it.

look at us, we're the real victims here! they hated us for our hats! so unfair! come see the violence inherent in the system!

like their beloved Dear Leader, the cultists always imagine they're the real victims — everything is unfair, and everything is rigged against them.

all we wanted was to hang out. the bartender was so mean to us.

MAGA, you are cordially invited to fuck straight off with your divisive hate. could you just fucking well leave people alone? they just want to live their lives in peace. next time you see a pride flag, just walk on by. the Earth won't fall off its axis. I promise.

cultists, can we talk? you're getting played by the ruling class, and you don't even realize it. you're being distracted from the real enemy.

'keep the people ignorant and fighting each other, and they won't notice the plutocrats picking their pockets' is right on page one of the oligarch's playbook.

and please shut the fuck up already about how unfairly you got treated. you acted like an asshole and you got treated like one.

you fucked around, and you found out. enjoy the tiniest of violins.

here's the official statement the Chatterbox posted to their Instagram account.

On Friday, March 14th, a group of individuals visited Chatterbox and intentionally misgendered and harassed a Chatterbox employee, resulting in them being asked to leave by our staff. They then continued verbally assaulting our patrons and staff, threatened our establishment, and returned to record a video which has now been posted on multiple social media platforms.

The Chatterbox is home to a diverse group of staff and patrons. We do not tolerate dehumanizing or disrespectful language or symbolism in our establishment. We have a right, by law, to refuse service to anyone who disrupts our business. We look forward to continue being a home for people who love music and appreciate our community.

forgive me for once again reposting what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, but it's a tale can't be told often enough.

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, "no. get out."

And the dude next to me says, "hey i'm not doing anything, i'm a paying customer." and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them." And i was like, oh ok and he continues.

"you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too."

"And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down."

of course, what happened at the Chatterbox isn't totally analogous — Fuckface von MAGA and her friends weren't polite, and they certainly weren't there to infiltrate — but the lesson is the same: you have to nip that shit in the bud. zero tolerance for Nazi assholes.

fuck around and find out is in short supply right now. let's celebrate when it happens.

if you find yourself in Indianapolis, stop by the Chatterbox and show them your support.