Well, These Things Happen
Quote Of The Day
“This is clearly amateur hour at the Pentagon and in the White House. And again, the price is being paid by all of us. You can also just tell from the administration’s attitude toward this war, the fact that they’re putting out videos treating this like a video game. It’s not a video game for the families of the fallen. And then, just this week, we saw campaign fundraising materials being put out, emails where the president’s committee, the president’s political operation, was raising money off of images of him at a dignified transfer. Any politician who does that has no business leading American troops in the war. If the president is willing to raise campaign funds over the bodies of America’s war dead, he is unfit to be the commander-in-chief.” ~ Pete Buttigieg, former Secretary of Transportation and future President of the United States
[source]
Submitted Without Comment
Midweek Tiedrich
barely a day goes by when America’s Mad King — or a member of his royal court — doesn’t find some new way to cordially invite We the People to go fuck ourselves.
this shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. not one thing any of these goniffs do makes us safer, or healthier, or more financially secure. it’s been that way since day one, and it will remain that way until every last one of these thieving bastards is finally removed from power.
what is surprising, however, is when one of these shit-sticks admits it.
which brings us to today’s Exhibit A: White House Energy Vampire Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett.
let’s watch in astonishment as Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett actually says the quiet part out loud.
“if [the war] were to be extended, it wouldn’t really disrupt the US economy very much at all. it would hurt consumers, and we’d have to think about what we’d have to do about that, but that’s really the last of our concerns right now.”
there it is — Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett gives away the whole game right there in those last few words.
helping consumers who are hurting is ‘really the last of our concerns right now.’
no fucking shit, Sherlock, we’ve noticed. everything Donny does is for the benefit of himself, and his gazillionaire cronies. are you a tech bro, or a media baron, or an oil magnate, or a crypto scammer? awesome, you get a seat a the table. try not to let the Space Nazi bother you. he’s higher than a fucking kite right now.
are you a consumer, struggling to make ends meet as the price of goods and services skyrockets? well, then fuck you. you don’t get a doll.
do you think Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett even takes notice of the price of gas? absolutely fucking not, he’s got a driver whose job it is to keep the limo’s tank full.
every time one of Donny’s dipshits opens their mouths, they practically write a Democratic campaign ad. it’s a fact that’s not lost on California Rep. Ted Lieu.
“I’m going to quote for you what the director of the National Economic Council, Kevin Hassett, said on national TV. he said that hurting consumers is, quote, the last of our concerns.’ so I want the White House to send Kevin Hassett to every single TV channel and to every single swing House district where he can tell the voters of America that hurting consumers is, quote, ‘the last of their concerns.’”
word.
by the way — have you noticed that every time Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett is on TV, rain or shine, he’s standing on the grounds in front of the White House?
I shit you not, check it out:
do you know why that is? it’s because Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett is indeed an energy vampire, and that’s the thing about vampires: you have to invite them in. otherwise, they have to remain outside. don’t ask me what that’s all about, I don’t make the rules.
Holy Mike Johnson can’t help but mumble the quiet part out loud, either.
reporter: “can you give one example of fraud in a previous election that the SAVE America Act would stop?”
Holy Mike: “look, we’re not gonna litigate all that.”
god bless the reporter who asked that question, because it really cuts to the heart of the matter: this fucked-up election-rigging SAVE Act will do nothing to prevent election fraud — because election fraud is not a problem. there is virtually no ‘election fraud’ in America. it’s a rounding error away from zero. Donny has been convicted of more felonies than there have been proven cases of ‘election fraud.’
every reporter needs to be asking every Republican the same question Holy Mike couldn’t answer.
now it’s Senate Majority Leader John Thune’s turn to say the quiet part out loud.
the SAVE Act is in the Senate now, where it seemingly has a snowball’s chance of passing — because there just aren’t 60 votes in favor of it.
the MAGAsphere is screaming at Thune right now to shitcan the filibuster, so the SAVE Act can pass— but Thune’s got a good reason for not nuking the filibuster, and he’s not ashamed to admit it.
“throughout history, it has protected Republicans and conservative priorities and principles a lot more often than it has protected Democrats.”
it’s true. Republicans have perfected the art of using the filibuster to block any legislation that would improve the lives of We the People.
isn’t that right, Glitch McConnell?
Glitch? hello, are you there?
as for Little Donny No-Filters, there’s no such thing as the quiet part.he’s just a lizard brain-stem hard-wired to a set of vocal cords that talk first and think never.
it’s taken Donny only 48 hours go from ‘someone please help me win this war’ to ‘everybody’s coming to help me win this war’ to ‘fuck you, I don’t need anyone’s help to win this war.’
Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP.”
that is hysterical. not one of our allies wants to bail Donny out of his disastrous Operation Epic Bed-Shit, and the sudden realization of it is causing him to him melt all the way down. he’s like a child going ballistic because he just found out he didn’t get invited to a birthday party.
YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES, BECAUSE DONNY NEVER WANTED YOUR HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
fuck you, NATO — you don’t get a doll.
fuck you, too, Japan — no doll for you. same deal, Australia and South Korea. you all fucking suck, and nobody gets a doll.
who know who else doesn’t get a doll? Ireland.
reporter: “the Irish president has said your war against Iran is illegal and an attack on international law.”
Donny: “who said that?”
reporter: “the Irish president.”
Donny: “look, he’s lucky I exist. that’s all I can say.”
he?
Donny has no idea that the President of Ireland is a woman, Catherine Connolly.
Donny doesn’t know shit about shit — and he doesn’t care. he never does the reading, never prepares, and has the attention span of a coked-up squirrel.
he’s an embarrassment to his country — and to the entire world — every single day of his shithole presidency.
but at least the ignorant fuck wore a nice green tie on St. Patrick’s Day. so there’s that.
which bring us quite smoothly to our heroes of the day: the good people of Ballinrobe, County Mayo, Ireland, who put the Dead Pedo Bestie Files front and center during their St. Patrick’s Day parade.
fuck, yeah — let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
The Only Appropriate Response To MAGATS
Why We’re Bombing Iran
Vomiting It All Up
He’s Going To Kill Us All
Congress, Are You Okay?
We Aren’t Going To Be Distracted, You Orange Piece Of Shit…
SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE RAPIST
NO LIE DETECTED
Please Please Please Please PLEASE!
That “rash” on his neck looks identical to how the front of my neck looked after six weeks of radiation therapy back in 2003. Just sayin’.
And the bruises on his hands? That’s where I’m currently getting my Keytruda infusions every three weeks. I’m not bruising, but Cankles 45 is significantly older than I am…
Beating Back Teh St00pid
Remember, He’s Not Talking About YOU
Don’t Threaten Us With A Good Time
We’re waiting…
Vomiting It All Up
I Know, Right?!
#ACCURATE
???? ???? ????
The Real Reason For Trump’s Iran Bombing
I understand the inclination to believe that Trump is acting erratically when he seemingly arbitrarily bombs Iran. But this is the culmination of a long-term plan for which the chief beneficiary is, unsurprisingly, himself. You don’t have to look far for clues, either.
This morning, while the bombing was underway, Trump wrote:
Iran tried to interfere in 2020, 2024 elections to stop Trump, and now faces renewed war with United States.
Let’s be clear: Trump doesn’t care about foreign countries meddling in our elections. If he did, he’d be bombing Russia right now. So why then would Trump invoke Iran interfering in our elections as he bombs the country? Put simply, he is trying to validate the claim that our elections are not secure, so that he can use that as a pretext to usurp control of our elections in the name of national security.
Here’s an excerpt from The Washington Post’s reporting from just days ago:
Pro-Trump activists who say they are in coordination with the White House are circulating a 17-page draft executive order that claims China interfered in the 2020 election as a basis to declare a national emergency that would unlock extraordinary presidential power over voting.
I do have one gripe with this framing: declaring a national emergency would not “unlock” extraordinary presidential power over voting. There is noextraordinary presidential power over voting. The states control elections, not the federal government. Full stop.
But that poor framing notwithstanding, Trump is very clearly looking for claims of foreign interference (first China, now Iran) to serve as a basis to declare a national emergency. He has threatened to nationalize the election for months. This is how he’s going to try and do it.
Add this to his apparent obsession with passing the SAVE Act, which in part gives the federal government access to the voter rolls (and if you’re looking to suppress the vote, it helps to know whose vote to suppress).
And of course, Trump has a long, sordid past when it comes to steps he’s already taken to undermine the sanctity of our elections. He tried to seize the voting machines in Georgia in 2020. He tried to get Brad Raffensperger to find 11,780 nonexistent votes. This year, he sent his Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard to Fulton County to collect all of the ballots. He’s sending troops into US cities who can serve as his boots on the ground in the event that he hands down orders. He’s put in place an attorney general who herself is an election denier. History shows that Trump is not shy about using any pretext necessary to interfere in a free and fair election in the United States.
There is a silver lining. Because he is so ham-handed, his scheme is already apparent. I’ve spoken with Marc Elias, the founder of Democracy Docket, who can see the writing on the wall. If and when Trump asserts his nonexistent authority, he will be sued. And he will lose. But our job is to spread the word, because the more Americans recognize the real reason for his actions, the less effective this pretext will be when he attempts to use it.
The Week In Stupid
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: you’ve got to hand it to her — or maybe not
let’s watch as five-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley takes a simple request to define a common word and gives it a vigorous beetlejuicing.
Piers Morgan: “what is inflation?”
Lauren Boebert: “well, inflation is— when, uh, when the, the price of things, um, is, is over, um, is, is, is too expensive because of, of, um, the, uh federal government, uh, really squandering the tax dollars. so you have the green new scam, uh hundreds of billions of dollars spent there, um to provide [makes air quotes] affordable energy, uh, and it was not affordable, it was never free, it was never—”
Morgan: “okay, yeah—”
Boebert: “that money was taken from the American people—”
Morgan: “yeah, okay, I don’t think—”
Boebert: “and forced into the system.”
Morgan: “hang on, hang on—”
what the fuck did we just listen to? even Piers Morgan is dumbfounded by the sheer incoherence of it all. folks, excuse me a moment as my brain tries to process Handy’s shit-salad of word-adjacent gibberish.
yeah, no. I tried and failed — because holy shit, she’s a fucking moron. as a lawmaker, she’s in way over her head, and her flat-lining shitwittery affects us all. Handy Oakley really needs to stick to what she’s good at.
but you know what? fuck it, let’s go all-in and pass the popcorn — because that exchange between Piers and Handy was actually pretty entertaining. I’d watch the shit out of a show that was just Handy’s cerebral cortex leaking out of her ears as she struggles to explain everyday words. admit it, so would you.
tuesday: all hat, no brain
I have a question: if our Big Boy Preznit ‘completely obliterated’ Iran’s nuclear capabilities when he dropped a shitload of bombs last year, then why all the drumbeating for dropping more bombs on Iran right now?
(yes, I know Donny’s bombs didn’t obliterate shit, but that’s the fairy tale Dear Leader fed to us last June, and it’s the lie that every Republican now has to defend.)
oh look, CNN’s Kaitlan Collins has the very same question I do — but look who she tries to get an answer from: Markwayne Mullin, the dumbfuckiest dumbfuck who ever dumbfucked his way through the Senate.
Kaitlan Collins: “if we obliterated Iran’s nuclear program last summer, then why are you worried about it right now?”
Markywane Mullin: “because they’re rebuilding it, and you can see they’re rebuilding it.”
Collins: “but it was obliterated?”
Mullin: “that doesn’t mean you can’t rebuild. I mean, people have car accidents and obliterate their bones in their legs, and yet they can still put you know, they can still put metal back in them and, and and walk again.”
oh fuck, it’s happening again —
oh dear lord. um, could we get Handy Oakley in here to explain what ‘obliterated’ means?
free clue: if you obliterate your leg, that literally means it’s gone forever. your nickname is now Stumpy.
where in the hallowed name of Head Trauma Jesus do you even start with this nonsense? is Marky Many-Names tying to win the Nobel Tortured Metaphor Prize? because I’m sure that’s exactly what Iran did — they just shoved some metal in their nuclear program, put a cast on it and told it to get some bed rest. and seven months later — hey nonny, it’s as good as new. yeah, what a perfectly sensible explanation. I’m sold.
isn’t it maddening when morons lie us into an unnecessary war? the thing about stupid is that it just doesn’t burn — sometimes it gets people killed.
wednesday: who among us, indeed
this week we learned that the fucknugget who created that heartwarming video depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as apes is a White House staffer named Garrett Wade.
isn’t that lovely? there’s actually some bro inside the White House whose job is to crank out racist videos. what a great use of taxpayer dollars, am I right?
wait, it gets better: Wade is also the fucknugget behind the ‘johnny maga’ not-twitter account. now, Garrett seems like a real charmer, so let’s just celebrate that time he forgot to switch to his burner account and posted the following beaut to Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium.
because who among is isn’t a gay black guy who felt so betrayed by Barack HUSSEIN Obama that we went all-in for Donny?
it’s all so relatable.
thursday: most fucked-up family tree, ever.
remember Ann Coulter? for a while there, back in the pre-MAGA days, she was a Big Fucking Deal. every now and then, Ann tries to regain some of that relevance, so let’s all watch as she tries and fails to do a proper racism.
“That beautiful ending to Trump’s SOTU address reminds me why we can’t have a second-, third-, or fourth- generation immigrant as president. Love for our country has to be in your genes.”
seriously, Ann? nobody gets to be president unless their family has been in the good ol’ US of A for five generations? well, that would certainly mean that Preznit Fuckwit is ineligible to serve. am I right, Community Notes?
Donny’s grandfather was the draft-dodging Bavarian immigrant Friedrich Drumpf.
so now we know who Donny inherited his bone spurs from.
and his mother was the Scottish-born Mary Trump.
and now we know where Donny got his fucked-up hair. yeesh.
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
some fucking idiot started his Friday by waxing rhapsodic about the construction of his gaudy Epstein Dance Hall.
according to the fucking idiot, the Epstein Dance Hall is going to be ‘the Greatest of its kind ever built!’ it’s going to be a big, strong, building, with tears in its eyes as it says ‘sir! sir! no one has ever built an Epstein Dance Hall is gaudy as I am. how do you do it? sir!’
the fucking idiot also displayed once again that he has no idea what ‘exonerated’ means.
yeah, no. remember, the fucking idiot’s name appears in the Dead Pedo Bestie Files more times than Jesus’s name appears in the Bible.
the fucking idiot then denied that he was going to try to steal the midterm elections.
why don’t I believe him?
oh, and the fucking idiot gave a special shout-out to Rep Tony Gonzales.
Tony Gonzales, it must be noted, is currently being pressure to resign from Congress over allegations that he coerced a sexual relationship with a staff member who later killed herself. so what the fuck is the fucking idiot congratulating him for?
oh dear sweet lord, it’s happening again.
the fucking idiot then told a ‘sir’ story about a big, strong teary-eyed New York City cop whose sex life was made better by the fucking idiot’s economic policies.
and then, in the middle of the night, we all found out that — holy fucking shit — the fucking idiot has now taken us to an unprovoked and illegal war with Iran, because obliterated.
because if you can totally obliterate something once, you can ‘totally again obliterate’ it all over. it makes perfect sense to me!
let me just put this here, for no particular reason at all.
oh, and this, too.
and despite all that dumbfuckery going on right in front of their noses, not one reporter stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
How Ya Feeling, MAGA?
Donald Trump starting a war with Iran was predictable and I’m getting really tired of saying “I told you so.”
This Did Not Age Well
Vomiting It All Up
Tuesday Tiedrich
oh look, United States President Piss-Baby McDiaperload is once again doing what he does best: whining because reality is being mean to him.
“and I hadda go through, and I still do, fake stories, fake polls … I saw one today. 40%. I’m not at 40%. I’m at— much higher. I mean I’d love to run against anybody. the real polls say ‘you’d kill everybody. wouldn’t even be close.’”
oh boo fucking hoo, you pathetic sad-sack. stuff a sock in it already.
go press that big red button on the Resolute Desk, and when Walt Nauta comes scampering in with your diet coke, tell him you need your diaper changed, pronto.
here’s one of those ‘fake’ polls that has Donny shitting himself blind.
CNN’s Harren Enter: “Trump’s net approval rating. look at the pre-SOTU polls, the State of the Union. look at that — negative 27 points! my goodness gracious. Compare that to where he was in 2020, 2019, and 2017 — minus 10, way lower now. the bottom line is Donald Trump has never been weaker going into a State of the Union address, according our CNN polling than he is right now, and weaker by a considerable amount.”
Donny’s poll numbers are circling the drain right now because none of this shit is popular, and all of it is fucked up.
aside from the brain-dead cultists for whom Dear Leader can never ever do wrong, nobody voted for any of the fascist shit going on right now.
nobody voted for the historic and stately East Wing to be demolished so that Donny can replace it with some vulgar Epstein Dance Hall — and speaking of Donny’s dead pedo bestie, nobody voted for the continuing cover-up of a massive pedophile ring.
nobody voted for off-the-charts corruption and greed.
nobody voted for masked ICE thugs teargassing children, and murdering anyone who looks at them funny. nobody voted for innocent immigrants to be disappeared off the streets and shipped off to far-away slave-labor gulags.
nobody voted for our allies to be insulted and ignored, or for Ukraine to be thrown to the wolves, or for Greenland to be perpetually harassed, or for Venezuela to become a vassal state.
nobody voted for the price of everything continuing to skyrocket — especially when Donny promised bring all that shit down on Day One.
and it’s sure as shit that nobody voted for whatever the fuck this is.
“why— why would you do this? and they walk in— nobody even asks for— like, you have an identification? do you have an ID? um— [long pause] it’s so crazy. you know, the Mayor of New York, and he’s a very nice person, I, I met him. his ideology is not, not too good. but uhhhh— we’re having a massive snowstorm right now, and I’ve heard that he’s asked people to come out and help shovel the snow. okay, so you get a shovel and you start shoveling. what? what the hell, you’re not gonna help too much, but you help— [points to a woman in the audience] hello, darling, how are you? [points again] no, right behind you. look. my friend, right? are you okay? yes, you. are you okay? are you okay? [long pause] good. good. are your eyes okay? I gave her money to get her eyes fixed. lotta money, to get her eyes fixed. that doctor ripped me off, but that’s okay.”
holy shit. what in the actual fuck did we just listen to?
my dear sweet lord. it was just last week that the entire media ecosystem dogpiled AOC, because she paused and said ‘um’ in the middle of an answer — but Donny somehow gets an endless series of free passes to shit out incoherent nonsense on a daily basis. nobody in the press blinks, nobody says boo. it’s fucking maddening.
here’s a thing historian Timothy Snyder said yesterday on the Jim Acosta Show. Snyder had just returned from ten days abroad, and he was stuck by what he saw watching other nations’ leaders on TV.
“I mean, I just abroad for the last 10 days or so and I was watching other people’s TV and other people’s leaders. And when you do that and then you come back and you watch our TV and our leaders it takes some adjustment, right? Like, that person that we were just watching, he does not seem well, in any sense.”
“I realize if you watch it day after day after day, it kind of maybe seems normal, but when you contrast it to people who can actually finish sentences and people who can stay on the topic and people who are perhaps sharing the same reality as you, it is really striking. I mean, that guy — just abstracting from the fact that he’s the president of the United States — he does not … He just doesn’t look well.”
Snyder gets it right: President Pudding Cup is not well — physically or mentally. and as much as we try to remind ourselves that none of this is normal, we can’t help but become inured to it.
Donny’s minders are still having to spackle makeup all over his bloated, corpse-like hand — and they’re not telling us why. nobody voted for a medical coverup.
and it’s damned certain that nobody voted for absolute batshit bugfuckery.
when Donny blithers on about “I can use Licenses to do absolutely ‘terrible’ things to foreign countries” he’s giving away the game. tariffs were never about responsible or coherent economic policy. they were about having a hammer with with to punish the shit out of any country that pissed him off.
nobody voted for a buffoonish dipshit in decline who makes everything about him.
Jesus wept. Donny can’t just let the US Olympic hockey team enjoy their own victory. he has to horn in and pretend he had something to do with it. how weak. how sad. how small and petty.
did you vote for that? I didn’t.
here’s your Zero of the Day: it’s Judge Aileen Cannon, up to her usual fuckery.
Cannon is so easy to loathe. amateurish, dumb as shit, and totally in the tank for Donny Convict, she’s less a judge and more a member of Donny’s own legal team.
Judge Fangirl took some time off from scrawling ‘Mrs. Aileen Trump’ over and over on the covers of all her notebooks to commit an evil.
“Breaking: The Trump-appointed Judge Aileen Cannon has permanently blocked the release of special counsel Jack Smith’s report on the classified documents case — saying releasing the report would be unfair to Trump and his co-defendants.”
when Cannon says the releasing the report would be ‘unfair’ to Donny, she gives away her game.
Melanie D’Arrigo, can you please explain to the nice people why that is?
“Blocking the release of a report on potential crimes committed by Trump and his co-defendants because it would be ‘unfair’ to them, is admitting that the report contains compelling evidence of crimes committed by them.”
exactly. Donny is guilty as fuck, and everyone knows it — even Judge Fangirl.
and now, here’s your Hero of the Day: whistleblower Ryan Schwank.
last week, Schwank resigned from his job at an ICE academy in Georgia, and yesterday he testified before Congress about all the evil shit ICE expected him to do.
“on my first day, I received secretive orders to teach new cadets to violate the Constitution, by entering homes without a judicial warrant. for the last five months, I watched ICE dismantle the training program, cutting 240 hours of vital classes from a 584-hour program. classes that teach the Constitution, our legal system, firearms training, the use of force, lawful arrests, proper detention, and the limits of officers’ authority. for example, they ceased all of the legal instructions regarding use of force. this means that cadets are not taught what it means to be objectively reasonable. the very standard which the law requires them to meet when deciding whether or not to use deadly force. our jobs as instructors are to teach them so well, that they can make split-second decisions about what they can and cannot do in life-or-death situations. yet in the name churning out an endless stream of officers, DHS leadership has dismantled the academic and practical tests the we need to know that cadets can safely and lawfully perform their job. all to satisfy an administration demanding that they train thousands of new officers before the end of the year.”
brave man.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
It’s Exhausting Keeping Up With His Psychosis
There Will Always Be A Britain
When will we do this?!”