Category: FUCK TRUMP

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And So Begins Another Week…

OH MY GOD, YES! Go ahead and sue, you orange bag of shit. Discovery will force the release of all the Epstein documents!

 

it’s one o’clock in the morning. the world’s most-fragile diaperload is awake — and he’s melting all the way down on his shithole app.

oh dear, it seems that someone’s hurt the colicky rage-baby’s fragile fee-fees again.

The Grammy Awards are the WORST, virtually unwatchable!

and yet the stupid shit sat there and monitored the whole thing, so he could find out if anyone was talking about him. and, sure enough—

Noah said, INCORRECTLY about me, that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island. WRONG!!! I can’t speak for Bill, but I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close.

now, because I’m a responsible journalist and everything, I googled ‘where is Epstein Island,’ and I learned that it’s a tiny island within the Virgin Islands, and its actual name is Little Saint James Island.

according to Donny, he’s never been ‘anywhere close’ to Epstein Island. so he’s never been to Christmas Cove, and he’s never been to the St. Thomas Ritz-Carlton — and he’s never been to Chocolate Hole, which, I’m sorry, but that definitely sounds like a place Donny’s been.

Donny’s handlers should never let him watch awards shows. he always ends up cranky, because he absolutely cannot deal with seeing other people receive awards — awards which, in his impaired mind, should rightfully be going to him. never mind that the Grammy awards are for music, and Donny’s only contribution to that field is the pungent aroma of ass music he creates every time he falls asleep in public. where’s Donny’s Grammy, goddammit!

FIFA could actually be doing the world a huge solid right now, by announcing that Donny has won their FIFA Music Award for Most Melodious Farts, and then invite him on stage to hang another dumb-ass medal around his neckgina.

because that would shut him the fuck up for at least a day or so.

by the way, this is Trevor Noah’s joke that had Donny power-loading all the diapers.

“that is a Grammy that every artist wants… almost as much as Trump wants Greenland. which makes sense, I mean, because Epstein’s island is gone, he needs a new one to hang out with Bill Clinton, so…”

big fucking deal, am I right? it was one throwaway laugh-line in an hours-long broadcast full of throw-away laugh-lines. any normal person would have heard it and then gotten on with their lives — but we’re not talking about a normal person. we’re talking about the most broken-inside burst trash bag of personality defects ever. so, naturally —

Noah, a total loser, better get his facts straight, and get them straight fast. It looks like I’ll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless, dope of an M.C., and suing him for plenty$.

Donny’s gonna sue the shit out of Trevor Noah, for ‘plenty$’ dollars — as one does, when one is the thinnest-skinned bastard ever to walk the face of the earth.

he’s such a fucking embarrassment, throwing childish tantrums in the middle of the night, and siccing his lawyers on a comedian, for telling jokes.

oh, and let me just put this here, for no particular reason.

“nobody gets angrier than a narcissist being accused of something they definitely did.”

now, because I’m still wearing my Responsible Journalist hat, I looked it up. the internet tell me that’s a quote from Omar Hussain’s ‘Thoughts and Feelings, Volume One’ — but the internet also tells me that such a book doesn’t exist.

what the fuck? can I borrow one of Donny’s ace team of parking garage lawyers and sue the shit out of the internet?

Omar Hussain is real. maybe I’ll sue him.

so, for those of you keeping score at home, Donny is suing Trevor Noah. at the same time, he’s suing The New York Times — also for hurting his feelings.

Donald Trump has said he is expanding his defamation suit against the New York Times after an unfavorable opinion poll.

He wrote: “The Times Siena Poll, which is always tremendously negative to me, especially just before the Election of 2024, where I won in a Landslide, will be added to my lawsuit against The Failing New York Times.”

fuck me, Donny’s not only a sore loser — he’s a sore winner. and if this ‘I’m suing you for bad polling’ business sounds familiar, that’s because he’s also suing the Des Moines Register for — you guessed it — hurting his feelings

A Polk County district court judge heard arguments Friday about whether President Donald Trump’s lawsuit against the Des Moines Register can move fo

rward.

Trump sued over a November 2024 poll that found likely voters preferred then-Vice President Kamala Harris over Trump days before he won the election and carried Iowa by 13 points.

His lawsuit says the poll is consumer fraud.

my god. could people please stop hurting Dear Leader’s precious fee-fees? we’re in grave danger of depleting our National Strategic Reserve of Lawyers.

and then there’s Donny’s lawsuit against the IRS. he’s demanding they pay him TEN BILLIONS OF PLENTY$ for that time a former IRS contractor leaked years of Donny’s tax returns to the media — hurting his feeling in the process by revealing that for years, the cheater got away with paying only $750 in taxes.

President Donald Trump is suing the IRS and the Treasury Department for $10 billion, alleging they failed to take necessary steps to prevent a former IRS employee from improperly disclosing his tax returns, and those of his sons and his company, to news outlets.

The Times published exclusive reporting in 2020 that showed Trump had paid only $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017.

of course, this lawsuit is pure corruption at its finest. Donny is basically suing his own administration. no way they’re going to fight this fucking lawsuit in court. the current head of the IRS is Frank J. Bisignano — one of Donny’s cronies. Soybean Scott Bessent is the Acting IRS commissioner. these loyal flunkies are going to roll over and hand Donny whatever he wants.

Donny’s come up with an all-new way of funneling money from the Treasury, straight into his greedy pockets — by suing the shit out of, basically, himself.

don’t you wish Dear Leader would work this hard to make life easier for average American? you get two dolls and five pencils, while Donny uses the US Government as his own personal ATM.

and don’t forget that Donny’s also suing his own Department of What Used To Be Justice, because that mean old poopy-head Jack Smith hurt his feelings by trying to convict Donny for the very real crimes of insurrecting and stealing state secrets.

I mean, what’s the point of even being president, if you can’t rob the country blind, and enrich yourself at the public’s expense?

isn’t it great how Dear Leader has combined two of his favorite activities — filing nuisance lawsuits, and forever grifting — into one neat and tidy profit center?

who says America isn’t the land of opportunity?

and now, it’s hero time.

yesterday, Texas Congressman Joaquin Castro traveled to the hellhole detention center where five-year-old Liam Ramos and his father Adrian were being confined, and personally escorted them back home to Minnesota.

thank you, Congressman.

in any sane country, it wouldn’t requite the concerted effort of a government official to spring a five-year-old from prison. but like the man says, shitty timelines gonna shitty timeline.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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Last Summer…

…the Tarot card readers (yeah, yeah I know) that I occasionally stumble across on YouTube warned that when all this Epstein shit came all came out it would be much, much worse than we ever imagined. It seems that—unlike their predictions for a landslide victory for Kamala Harris—they were right about this.

Just when I think I can’t hate him any more than I already do, I constantly find myself re-evaluating that stance.

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Thursday Tiedrich

once again, everything in the news is so unbelievably stupid that I don’t even know where to start. so I’m just going to spin the Big Wheel of Moron™ and see where it lands. ready? here we go.

oh my god, could Preznit Fuckwit please shut his rancid anus-mouth?

Just spoke to Pres. Trump. I asked him if he had seen the video of Rep. Omar being attacked and sprayed by a substance.

“No. I don’t think about her. I think she’s a fraud. I really don’t think about that. She probably had herself sprayed, knowing her,” the president said.

I asked again if he had seen the video.

“I haven’t seen it. No, no. I hope I don’t have to bother.”

and just like that, Donny Convict continues his 79-year-long unbroken streak of being the worst fucking person on the planet.

can we get Wonkette’s Rebecca Schoenkopf in here for a minute? she’s so good at putting into words what we’re all feeling right now.

thanks, Rebecca.

this fucking guy. he admits he hasn’t seen — and doesn’t want to see — the video of the assault, but that doesn’t keep him from running his ignorant mouth about it.

he thinks the attack on Rep. Omar is a hoax, because of course he does. Donny hates Omar — because he’s a fucking racist — and, because he doesn’t have a single ounce of decency in his rotting body, he can’t even mumble some halfhearted third-grade-level statement about ‘bad. so bad. we’re all wishing her well.’

what kind festering cum-sock hears about a woman being sprayed with some noxious liquid and goes ‘oh yeah, I’ll bet she did it to herself.’ who the fuck even thinks like that?

you know what? I’ll bet by crying ‘hoax!’, Donny’s telling on himself again — because with as always with this shithead, every accusation is a confession.

look, I don’t want to be a conspiracy guy. it’s really not my thing. but for the life of me, I’m still trying to figure out how Donny’s blown-to-bits ear magically regenerated itself.

oh wait, we’re not done with Donny. Rachel Scott has another question for him.

More from my interview with President Trump last night: I asked the president about Sens. Tillis and Murkowski calling for Sec. Noem to step down.

“Well, they’re both losers. You know, what can I tell you? They’re terrible senators. One is gone and the other should be gone,” he said.

he’s such a charmer. once again, Donny can’t just brush it off and go, ‘yeah well, that’s just your opinion, man.’

he’s so spite-fueled and broken-inside that he has to go scorched earth.

you simply must check out Senator Tillis’ reaction to being called a loser.

CNN’s Manu Raju: “the president called you a loser.”

Tillis: “I am thrilled about that. that makes me qualified to be Homeland Security Secretary *and* senior adviser to the president.”

let’s be clear-eyed about this, Thom Tillis is not our friend. he’s as xenophobic as they come. he’s totally down with ICE rounding up immigrants and shipping them to who the fuck cares, and he thinks they should be doing more of that shit. he’s just mad at ICE Barbie and Nosferatu McGoebbels for fucking up.

still, his response to Donny is so perfect that it’s hard not to be heartbroken about it.

well, that was fun. let’s give another spin to the Big Wheel of Moron™.

after his humiliating shitcanning and banishment from Minneapolis, you might have hoped that Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino would have had the decency to scamper back into his cigar box, close the lid, and never be heard from again.

fat chance. the Itsy-Bitsy Nazi is so high on his own supply that he stopped off at Mount Rushmore and took a victory lap.

“team, behind me are a few individuals there. that’s the original ‘turn and burn,’ the folks that help make American. but you know what? I’m very proud of what you, the ‘mean green machine,’ are doing in Minneapolis right now, just like you’ve done it across the United States over these past tough nine months. and I want you to know, you’re the modern day equivalent of ‘turn and burn.’ it makes me very proud. I also want you to know that I’ve got your back now, and always. I love you. I support you, and I salute you.”

I’ll bet that speech is even more impressive in its original German.

‘turn and burn,’ by the way, is Gestapo Greg’s pet name for the fascist shit he’s pulled in Minneapolis, Los Angeles and elsewhere. and this racist little fireplug is so arrogant, he thinks the dudes carved into Rushmore — George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln — would be totally be high-fiving him for his lawless behavior.

how delusional is that?

free clue for the Fascist In A Teacup: no, no, no, no, and fuck no. none of those homeys would approve of your banty rooster antics. stop shitting all the over Constitution and pick up a fucking history book, Greg. you might learn something.

ok, let’s spin Big Wheel of Moron™ one last time.

tonight, Donny and his Slovenian rent-a-wife are attending a Kennedy Center screening of the Melania movie — the so-called ‘film’ that everyone knows is going to be a twenty-megaton box office disaster.

at its London premiere, it sold one ticket.

one ticket! now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter. ready?

and now comes the part where the worthless scribblers of The New York Times corruptionwash that shit.

come on, Grey Lady — stop pulling your punches. nobody is ‘questioning’Amazon’s motives. everyone knows exactly what this is all about: naked corruption. it’s Jeff Bezos burning through millions of dollars in order to curry favor with Dear Leader.

Melania Convict is the least-interesting person on the planet, and nobody — absolutely nobody — was clamoring for a documentary about her.

despite that, Bezos gave Melania FORTY MILLION DOLLARS for the rights to her ‘story.’ Amazon spent five million dollars on production, and another thirty-five million on promotion. that’s eighty fucking million dollars for a film which is predicted to take in about one million at the box office.

one hand washes the other, am I right? blatant corruption doesn’t get any more blatantly corrupt than that.

oh, and in England, where the premiere sold one ticket? rejoice, everyone — UK ticket sales have skyrocketed to six!

Vue, a major European cinema operator, is offering nine showings (451 seats in all) at its multiplex in York, England, from Friday through Sunday, one analyst noted. As of Wednesday, it had sold six seats.

now here’s a question for you all: do you think these two lovebirds will take separate cars to the screening?

and now for your hero of the day — some obscure songwriter who probably no one’s ever heard of, Bruce Springsteen.

 

I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good.

Stay free.

and just like that, Springsteen continues his seventy-six-year-long unbroken streak of being fucking awesome.

let’s give it a listen.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other

Posted on

Wednesday Tiedrich

are you ready for some sweet, sweet MAGA-on-MAGA violence?

I sure hope so, because Donny Convict’s merry band of sewer clowns are running around in a panic right now. they screwed the pooch bigtime in Minneapolis, and they know full well that Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino’s isn’t the only head that’s going to roll — and so they’ve all locked themselves down into self-preservation mode. even better, the knives are out and they’re starting to turn on each other.

it’s a glorious fucking sight to behold.

Kristi Noem wants to make one thing perfectly clear: she was only following orders.

Noem has complained to others that she feels she’s being hung out to dry over the episode and has made sure to emphasize she took direction from Miller and the president, a source told Axios.

wait a minute — Nosferatu McGoebbels is telling ICE Barbie what do to? since when does the Secretary of Homeland Security take direction from White House Deputy Chief of Staff?

Miller’s power extends to de facto oversight of Noem, though she’s a Cabinet secretary who technically outranks him.

do you need any more proof that Dear Leader is just a demented figurehead who they drag out to make incoherent speeches and sign whatever papers they put in front of him, and that Nosferatu McGoebbels is really running the show?

this lame-ass excuse that Little Miss Hair Extensions was only following orders — where have we heard that before? oh yeah — at the Nuremberg trials.

now here’s a pro tip for Stephen Miller: if Kristi ever invites you out back to the gravel pit ‘because she has something she wants to show you,’ run as fast as you can in the other direction.

Cricket, am I right? Cricket? Cricket?

Noferatu, for his part, is covering his ass regarding the summary execution of Alex Pretti. he’s all ‘nuh-uh, it’s Homeland Security’s fault.’

Specifically, Miller said, Bovino’s crew was supposed to divide its force into two groups: One unit was supposed to handle the arrests of specifically targeted “criminal aliens” and the other squad was in charge of crowd control to keep “disruptors” from interfering.

oh, how convenient. after spending days screeching about how Pretti got what was coming to him, because — according to Miller — he was a ‘domestic terrorist,’ he’s changing his story. now it’s ‘Pretti got gunned down because ICE was doing it wrong.’

fuck off, Nosferatu.

meanwhile, Democrats — along with Republicans Thom Tillis and Lisa Murkowski — have a message for Preznit Fuckwit: fire the puppy perforator, pronto, or we’ll impeach her.

Top House Democrats on Tuesday told Donald Trump to fire Kristi Noem or they would launch impeachment proceedings against the homeland security secretary, in response to the weekend killing of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis, as two Republican senators join calls for her to resign.

here’s the beauty part: House Democrats threw Donny’s own mob-boss language back in his face, closing their statement with ‘we can do this the easy way or the hard way.’

I fucking love that.

more like this, please.

we should probably do a wellness check three-hundred-and-forty-seven-year-old human fossil Chuck Grassley.

“Tried asking Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, whether it’s appropriate for ICE to enter homes without a judicial warrant. ‘Ask a constitutional lawyer,” he said. ‘I’m a farmer.’”

oh, for fuck’s sake. Chuckers has been a member of the Senate — and chair of its Judiciary Committee — for nearly two hundred and forty-one years, and he’s claiming he has no idea how the Constitution works? he was in the room when the damned thing was being written.

hey, did anyone think ICE would actually restrain themselves in the wake of Obergruppenführer Greg’s shitcanning? me neither.

look at the fuckery they were up to yesterday.

“1/27/2026 – Minneapolis – ICE just attempted an illegal entry into the ECUADORIAN CONSULATE to abduct someone. They did not have a warrant.”

wait a minute. under whose authority are they pulling this shit? is this the work of Tommy ‘Bags-o-Cash’ Homan? fun fact: ICE has no jurisdiction whatsoever to enter a foreign consulate. they can’t just wander in there willy-nilly and do whatever the fuck they want.

per The New York Times.

Ecuador’s foreign ministry said it lodged a formal diplomatic protest with the United States after a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent attempted to enter the country’s consulate in Minneapolis without permission on Tuesday morning.

Employees of the consulate stopped the agent from entering, the Ecuadorean foreign ministry said in a statement Tuesday night. Under the Vienna Conventions, to which the United States is a party, foreign consular buildings are off-limits to law enforcement from the host country without authorization from consular officials.

so now ICE is going be starting international incidents, because they’re so horny to deport some hapless day laborer? take a cold fucking shower, you morons.

while we’re on the subject of ‘international incidents,’ can somebody please explain to me why we’re sending masked ICE thugs to Italy? explain it to me like I’m five years old — because this makes no goddamned sense.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents will join a security team from the State Department at the Olympics “to vet and mitigate risks from transnational criminal organizations.”

excuse me? ‘risks from transnational criminal organizations’? at the fucking Olympics?

what kind of fever-swamp fairy-tale nonsense is this? I swear, the people running our government are high on their own supply, farting out the most nonsensical reasons for doing anything, and expecting us to buy it. go peddle that shit elsewhere, you dumbfucks, we’re all stocked up.

can you imagine masked, poorly-trained goons running wild in the streets of Milan? Italy can, and they want no part of this fuckery.

Antonio Tajani, Italy’s foreign minister, told reporters that ICE agents would not be allowed to deploy on Italian streets.

oh, and speaking of masked and armed ICE thugs, get ready for the saddest story you’ll ever hear in your life.

Morale is “plummeting” among federal law enforcement officers tasked with carrying out the Trump administration’s aggressive anti-immigration operation, as they complained that long hours, ambitious arrest quotas and hatred from the public, according to reports.

oh boo fucking hoo. dry your fucking eyes. nobody twisted your arms and forced you to become willing participants in deadly fascism. what did you think would happen after you kidnapped children and murdered innocent bystanders in cold blood? that we would throw flowers and give you a standing ovation?

oh please, grow the fuck up. actions have consequences, you crybabies.

the kind staff at the White House Assisted Living Facility allowed Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants to make a day trip to Iowa, so he could have a playdate with some of his cultists. wasn’t that sweet of them to humor a frail old codger?

oh look — Dear Leader is now wearing one glove, to hide his rotting hand.

tell me, who wore it better?

President Pudding Cup’s brain is fried. get ready for the most fucked-up lesson in ‘how a bill becomes a law’ ever.

“China will be sending me a bill very shortly supporting year-round E15 to my desk, and I will sign it without delay.”

holy. fucking. shit. China. is sending. Donny. a bill. to sign. it hurts my brain just to type that out.

hey Donny — is China in the room with us right now?

Donny also met with a bunch of big, strong Iowans yesterday — and you’ll never guess what they were doing while in the hallowed presence of Dear Leader. that’s right, they were blubbering like babies

 

“I just left a great group of people from Iowa and half of them were crying as they talked to me. I don’t think they’re crying because I’m doing a bad job. you know, [unintelligible] cry if you do a bad job. they were crying because I’d done a good job. ‘sir,’ they said ‘sir, you brought our country back.’ crying, crying.”

fact check:

which bring us to our hero of the day: this brave heckler at Donny’s Iowa rally, who kept shouting ‘release the Epstein Files’ — and never stopped shouting it, even as she was being eighty-sixed from the rally.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Monday Tiedrich

look, everything may totally fucking suck right now, what with the economy in tatters, our foreign policy circling the drain, and armed fascists running amok on the streets of our cities — but at least the president of the United States is crazier than a shithouse rat. so we’ve got that going for us.

let me give you fair warning: you are now about to enter Crazytown. population: Donny.

holy fucking shit. this is some seriously deranged stuff. it’s some Hitler-in-the-bunker-level ranting.

let’s see if I can rationally explain what Dear Leader is losing his shit over. the National Trust ⁠for Historic Preservation is suing Donny to block construction of the Epstein Dance Hall where the East Wing used to be.

The National Trust sued Trump and several federal agencies in December, arguing the project has proceeded without required approvals, environmental review or congressional authorization.

of course the project proceeded without going through any of those proper channels. that’s not how a Mad King rolls. Donny simply had a demolition crew just show up one day to tear that shit down, before anyone had a chance to react.

but what’s even worse for Donny is that the judge assigned to the case seems inclined to agree with the Trust.

At a hearing in a lawsuit brought by the National Trust ⁠for Historic Preservation, U.S. District Judge Richard Leon raised doubts about whether Trump had statutory power to tear down the East ‌Wing with plans to build a ballroom in its place without approval or oversight from the ⁠U.S. Congress.

Leon snapped, “Come on, be serious,” after a lawyer for the administration drew parallels to the construction of a pool during the Gerald Ford administration in the 1970s and to other smaller renovations.

and this is Donny’s reaction to being told ‘no’: to power-load an infinite series of diapers, and melt all the way down on his crappy app.

he’s a fucking child — one with a persecution complex. who fucking talks like this?

“But no, as usual, I got sued, this time by the Radical Left National (No!)Trust for Historic Preservation, a group that couldn’t care less about our Country!”

a delusional narcissist, that’s who talks like that. inside Donny rat-infested brain, the National Trust can’t possibly be an impartial organization tasked with the preservation of our historic landmarks. oh no — if you oppose one of Donny’s fuckbrained schemes, you’re now part of some mythical ‘radical left,’ hell-bent on destroying the country.

I’ll bet the staid bureaucrats of the Historic Trust never thought they’d be labeled ‘enemies of the state.’

but that, my friends, is now the guiding principle of the MAGAsphere: ‘if you disagree with me, you’re the enemy — and if you’re mean to me, I can’t help what comes next.’

let’s watch as Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino — that adorable little Fascist In A Teacup™ — applies this principle to the death and chaos he’s perpetrated in Minneapolis.

“when politicians, community leaders and some journalists engage in that heated rhetoric we keep talking about, when they make the choice to vilify law enforcement, calling law enforcement names like ‘Gestapo,’ or using the term ‘kidnapping,’ that is a choice that is made. there are actions and consequences that come from those choices.”

Gestapo Greg says what?

I’m sorry, Greg — are we hurting your fragile fee-fees by calling you and your lawless masked thugs ‘Gestapo’? well, here’s a free clue: maybe don’t act like Nazis, and we won’t have any reason to call you Nazis. if the jackboot fits, wear it, am I right?

and while we’re on the subject, maybe also don’t dress like you’re in some dinner-theater production of Springtime for Hitler.

but let’s look at the darker side of Obergruppenführer Greg’s message: ‘there are actions and consequences that come from those choices.’

excuse me? we’re now being warned to expect ‘consequences’ from the ‘choice’ of calling a fascist a fascist? on what fucking planet? that ain’t the way it works in America, pal. name-calling is not a capital crime. at least not yet it isn’t.

but this is the rhetoric we’ve been hearing from the Donnyverse ever since Renee Good got gunned down in her car. ‘look at what you made us do.’

“we gotta stop the hateful rhetoric. saying this officer is a murderer is dangerous. it’s just ridiculous. it’s just gonna infuriate people more which means there’s gonna be more incidents like this.”

that was Tom Homan, in the days following Renee Good’s summary execution, warning us to keep our mouths shut, if we don’t want more of the same.

once again, this is classic abuser language: ‘look what you made us do.’

getting back to Obergruppenführer Greg’s soundbite, where he whines about‘vilifying law enforcement’ — let’s be clear about one thing: the actions of the masked ICE thugs can in no way be called ‘law enforcement.’ no actual laws are being ‘enforced’ by ICE on the streets of Minneapolis. it’s state-sponsored terrorism, is what it is.

Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel: “you cannot bring a firearm, loaded, with multiple magazines, to any sort of protest that you want. it’s that simple. you don’t have a right to break the law.”

BZZZT! wrong answer.

Under the Second Amendment and MN Stat. 624.714, permit holders may legally carry firearms in public, including during protests. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that public carry is a constitutional right. Carrying a firearm does not legally constitute “inciting violence.”

I’m so old, I remember what Republicans loved the shit out of people who brought guns to protests.

remember these shitwits?

these MAGA morons were so mad about being asked to lock down and mask up against COVID that they festooned themselves with weapons of mass death and protested inside the Michigan Statehouse.

nobody arrested them. nobody shot them point-blank in the back of their head. in fact, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex lauded them as patriotic heroes of freedom.

and how about these fucknuts?

this is Patricia and Mark McCloskey, reacting in most perfectly normal way to protesters who were simply passing by their house. these paranoid weirdos weren’t gunned down on the spot. in fact, they were honored as keynote speakers at the 2020 Republican National Convention.

and when teenage incel Kyle Rittenhouse brought a weapon to a protest and actually killed people, do you know who defended his ‘right’ to do so? Kash Patel.

“Kash Patel on Kyle Rittenhouse: ‘Where is the due process?’”

excuse me, but where the fuck was Alex Pretti’s due process? he kept his weapon holstered, never drew it, never brandished it — and now he’s dead, thanks to Obergruppenführer Greg’s Gestapo.

our one saving grace amidst all this carnage may well be Donny’s compulsion to overreach and clownfuck his own agenda.

it turns out that Second Amendment absolutists fucking hate it when you try to tell them where they can or can’t bring guns.

“But we must also maintain our core values as a nation, including the right to protest and assemble.”

let’s be clear: Senator Ricketts is not our friend. he’s an asshole who is totally down with ICE disappearing immigrants off the streets of our cities. but he does draw the line at the summary execution of protesters. lucky us.

holy shit, Donny’s even pissed off the NRA. here’s their response to Bill Essayli, one of Donny’s hand-picked MAGAfied US Attorneys, who said, ‘if you approach law enforcement with a gun, there is a high likelihood they will be legally justified in shooting you.’

“This sentiment from the First Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California is dangerous and wrong. responsible public voices should be awaiting a full investigation, not making generalizations and demonizing law-abiding citizens.”

oh, and the nonsense that Bill Essayli farted out about cops being legally justified in shooting anyone possessing a gun? it’s completely fucking wrong.

The U.S. Constitution (particularly the 2nd, 4th, and 14th amendments) prohibit officers from shooting citizens merely for possessing a weapon that is not an “imminent threat”. This was reaffirmed in Graham v Connor, which says force must be reasonable.

Donny’s moving too fast, being too reckless and breaking too much shit in the process. none of the fuckery Donny is perpetrating is sustainable, and very little of it is popular.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it — because I will never stop believing it’s true: someday, this war’s gonna end.

here are your heroes of the day: the good people of Nuuk, Greenland.

that’s a message the whole world can get behind.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Don’t Give In To Nihilism

ICE Field Marshall Greg Bovino, The Desert Brat

From Mock Paper  Scissors:

It’s way too easy to feel hopeless and powerless, and that is what shadow president S.S. Stephen Miller and his Gestapo want.

But we do have power when the Senate returns to work next week. You see, the Senate will vote on the bill recently passed in the House to fund ICE and the rest of the Department of Homeland Security. If a bill is not passed by the end of the month, DHS will shut down.

That’s our opportunity, and we must seize it.

Democrats cannot fund ICE after what has happened in Minnesota.

Look, I get it: it’s politically risky. Democrats will be tar’ed and feather’ed as being lawless illegal alien sympathizers and whatnot. But they are already being called that and worse. There’s really not much to lose for us to stand up to the killers and bullies. But there’s a lot more that we can lose if we don’t. When we lose faith in the future, we lose it all.

It’s a moral imperative that we fight the Republicans like our lives depend on it, because our lives do depend on it. There is a higher calling here, people have already died. The First They Came poem has become a trope, but it is also more applicable now than ever.

Senate Democrats (and sweet Jeebus I hope some Republicans join them) must come together to block the bill and send a message to the country that what ICE is doing cannot stand.

Everyone of us must contact our Senators —regardless of party— and demand that they put an end to this atrocity that is happening in our names. Tell them you’ve got their backs, too. 

(And I’ll kill the suspense: already I have heard back from both my Senators Murray and Cantwell(!!!) saying that they will vote against this. Next up: Chuck Schumer. My pen pall club is growing.)

Contact your Representative by clicking HERE

Contact your Senators by clicking HERE

Posted on

Midweek Tiedrich

let’s start with a bang, and put our Hero of the Day right up top.

here’s Anders Vistisen, Danish politician and member of the European Parliament, speaking for the entire world.

“let me put this in words you might understand: Mr. President, fuck off.”

it must be said that Anders Vistisen is not our friend. he’s as far-right as they come — and it is absolutely heartbreaking to have to note that it took a Nazi to speak bluntly to Dear Leader.

yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Donny’s second reign — so naturally, preening peacock held a victory lap, in the form of an excruciatingly long, incoherent shit-show of a press conference.

let’s gaze in awe as Donny encounters a tool for the first time, and learns to master it.

whoops, wrong clip. sorry. here you go, here’s President Hominid, mastering a new tool.

“here’s, uh, the book on— accomplishments. and this is something— woo, I’m glad my finger wasn’t in that sucker. [hold up binder clip] that could have done some damage, but you know what? I wouldn’t have shown the pain. I would have gone back. boy did you hear that? that was nasty. but I would not have shown the pain. I would have acted like nothing happened, as my finger fell off. that was nasty. I think somebody did that. [points to camera] it was him. it was my man. how are you? you didn’t do it. I know you didn’t. I know you didn’t. so, uh—”

hey, you know what, Donny? fuck off. it was a paper clip. stop being a drama queen.

thank god Donny’s bone spurs weren’t acting up, and preventing him from heroically winning the War of the Binder Clip.

that pile of papers Donny’s brandishing in the above clip, that’s his list of ‘365 wins.’ that’s what the whole presser was about, Donny bragging about his (imaginary) wins.

let’s check out just one of them, number 243.

#243 says: “Stripped notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter Biden of his taxpayer-funded Secret Service detail.”

Donny, fuck off. that’s not a ‘win’ — that’s the act of a toxic piece of shit obsessed with settling scores.

hey, where do you think ‘suppressing the Dead Pedo Bestie Files’ was in Donny’s list of wins? I’d have put it at number one.

now excuse me, but what the fuck is this, and where does ‘blithering like a lunatic’ land on Donny’s win list?

“we had in my area in Queens, I grew up in Queens, we had a place called Creedmore. Creedmore. does anybody know that? Creedmore. it was a big— I said ‘mom, why are those— bars on the building?’ I used to play little league baseball— there. a place called Cunningham Park. I was quite the baseball player. you couldn’t believe it. but I said to my mother, ‘mom—’ she would be there always there for me, she said ‘son, you could be a professional baseball player.’ I said ‘thanks mom.’ I said, ‘why are those bars on the windows?’ big building. big, powerful building that loomed over the park, actually. she said, ‘well, people that are very sick are in that building.’ I said, ‘boy.’ I used to always look at that building and I’d see— big building, big, tall building, it loomed over the park, sort of. now that I think of it, I think it was pretty unfriendly, sad. but I— I’ll never forget— I don’t know if it’s still there.”

get the idea? it was a big, tall building — powerful, in fact, with tears in its eyes.

of course, that fascinating anecdote took place in the old days, when Donny used to tie an onion to his belt, which was the style at the time.

so, what was the press doing, while Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ brain was visibly leaking out of his ears? just what they always do: sitting there like useless lumps, nodding their heads. this is probably a good place to note that my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™ is now in its 2,122nd day.

instead of any ‘what the fuck’ bravery, we just got the the usual fresh load of horse shit. here’s NPR’s Mara Liasson’s hot take.

“And what else struck me about this press conference was how similar Trump and Biden were. Both of them tried to convince Americans that the economy was a lot better than voters’ own experience of the economy is.”

worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press, please stop it with this both-sides nonsense.

we’re one year into this nightmare, and the press is still normalizing and sanewashing Donny’s outright fascism.

“President Donald Trump has commanded attention during his second term. From military interventions to controversial social media posts, the Republican has rewritten the presidency’s role in a divided country.”

oh please, fuck straight off with this tepid pablum.

Donny isn’t ‘rewriting the role of the presidency.’ he’s pouring gasoline all over the Constitution and setting a fucking match to it — and by dancing around the issue couching it in oh-so-polite terms, the press is aiding and abetting him.

Gavin Newsom is in Davos this week, and he’s got a message for the gathered world leaders: cut the bullshit, and stop kowtowing to Donny.

“it’s time buck up. it’s time to get serious. stop being complicit. it’s time to stand tall and firm. have a backbone. I’ve seen this in the United States. playing Congress, playing both sides, saying one thing in a text or tweet, another publicly. it’s time to have principles. it’s time to stand tall. it’s time to stand united. have principles. I can’t take this complicity. people rolling over. I should have brought a bunch of knee pads for all the world leaders. I mean, handing out crowns, this is pathetic. Nobel Prizes that are being given away. it’s just pathetic. and I hope people understand how pathetic they look on the world stage. I mean, at least from an American perspective. it’s embarrassing. one thing they can’t do is what they’ve been doing, and they’ve been played. this guy’s playing folks for fools, and it’s embarrassing.”

Gavin is spot fucking on — because world leaders have indeed spent a year flattering Donny, and appeasing him, hoping that by stroking his unquenchable ego, they could somehow magically come out on top.

in case you’ve forgotten, South Korea really did literally give Donny his very own crown.

what did South Korea end up getting in return? not one fucking thing.

yet the flattery and kowtowing goes on, right up to into the new year. we even saw it yesterday, in the text message from Macron that Donny posted on his shitty app. look at this obsequious drek.

“my friend.” “we are totally in line.” “let us try to build great things.” “let’s have lunch, I’ll invite whoever you want to.”

oh please. Donny is laughing his ginormous ass off at what a fool you are.

hey, you know who else thought he could flatter his way to victory?

this homey. Neville Chamberlain, pictured here with his best bud, Adolf Whats-His-Name.

in 1938, Chamberlain came up with an awesome idea: all Europe had to do was flatter old Adolf, tell him what a great guy he is — and if they him keep Sudetenland, that’ll satisfy him, and he’ll leave the rest of the world alone.

come on, Adolf. let’s do lunch. I’ll invite whoever you want.

tell me, how did flattery and appeasement work out for Europe?

Anders Vistisen, can you step back in here for a moment and remind that everyone tyrants need to spoken to in the only language they understand?

“let me put this in words you might understand: Mr. President, fuck off.”

thanks, bro. now get your right-wing ass out of my sight.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Sunday Tiedrich

is the leader of your country crazier than a shithouse rat? is he out wandering in the tall weeds, where the buses don’t run? is he a few sandwiches short of a fucking brain?

here’s one sure way to tell: does he spend his time rage-posting stark barking bonkers threats to take over other countries?

fact check for the United States: yes, he does. lucky us.

holy. fucking shit. 445 words — every single one of them delusional.

this may be the dumbfuckiest thing Donny’s ever posted. there’s no polite way of sugar-coating this: Dear Leader is coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

before we even begin wading through the content of this crazypants post, we need to remind ourselves that we’ve become so normalized to Donny’s behavior, it’s easy to forget that how utterly fucking insane it is.

it’s not normal for a head of state to spend all day and all night crapping out hundreds of posts an hour onto an app he paid someone to create after getting banned from twitter for doing an insurrection.

and on no planet is it normal for a world leader to conduct high-level foreign policy via a medium that was invented for looking at cat pictures and gossiping about celebrities.

no other president or prime minister does this. France’s Macron isn’t up all night whining about every grievance on some crappy app he’s named La Vérité Sociale. he has better things to do with his time. oh, and he’s a mature adult, not some diapershitting rage-baby.

that said, let us now gird the shit out of our loins, and take a deep dive into Donny’s post. all girded up? okay, here we go.

We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back — World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that!

delusions of grandeur much?

Donny might as well just shove a Napoleon hat onto his head and declare himself Emperor of the Universe.

fun fact: we already have a US military base in Greenland. we can already defend the country if need be — and trust me, China and Russia couldn’t give a fuck about Greenland. it’s of no strategic value to them, and Greenland’s resources are too expensive to extract.

Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land,

this is where you can invoke the ‘in my pants’ rule. ‘nobody will touch this sacred piece of land — in my pants.’

especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown.

not for ‘purposes unknown,’ you deranged rodeo clown.

eight NATO countries have taken the extraordinary step of pledging military support for Greenland — to protect them from a maniac who spends his idle hours pointing at random countries on a globe and going ‘mine now.’

it’s as if Donny is starring in a version of Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator — except one that’s not funny.

oh wait, we already had a version of The Great Dictator that wasn’t funny. it was called The Third Reich.

look at where we are right now, thanks to Donny’s imperialistic fever dreams: it’s us versus NATO. can you fucking imagine that? we used to lead NATO, and now we’re a pariah state.

ace job, Donny. take a fucking victory lap. our next president is going to have so much to clean up after, that it’s going to take years to glue all the pieces back together.

Greenland wants no part of becoming America’s fifty-whatever state. there were massive demonstrations in Greenland and Denmark yesterday. look at the cool hat they came up with for the occasion.

now that’s a MAGA I can get behind.

by the way, over two hundred thousand Danes have signed a petition to buy California from America, which would be the most hilarious thing ever.

anyway, back to Donny’s post—

This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.

‘a level of risk in play that is not sustainable’ — in my pants.

Therefore, it is imperative that, in order to protect Global Peace and Security, strong measures be taken so that this potentially perilous situation end quickly, and without question. Starting on February 1st, 2026, all of the above mentioned Countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland), will be charged a 10% Tariff on any and all goods sent to the United States of America. On June 1st, 2026, the Tariff will be increased to 25%. This Tariff will be due and payable until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Greenland.

tariffs again — because why not? let’s have a trade war and a land war. what could possibly go wrong?

sure, let’s punish American shoppers and raise the price of everything — again — because Donny’s Big Mad about NATO not letting him do an imperialism.

tell me, what ever happened to the lie about how tariffs were going to make everything cheaper? Donny’s not even bothering to spin that bullshit any more. now he’s just using tariffs to punish other counties who won’t obey his orders — because Donny doesn’t care how, he wants Greenland now.

The United States has been trying to do this transaction for over 150 years. Many Presidents have tried, and for good reason, but Denmark has always refused.

fact check: holy shit, Donny said something that’s actually true. three times in the past, we’ve floated the idea of buying Greenland from Denmark. in each instance, the Danes politely declined. you know why? because they’re a sovereign fucking nation, and have the right to say no. oh silly me, I forgot that Donny isn’t big on consent.

Now, because of The Golden Dome, and Modern Day Weapons Systems, both Offensive and Defensive, the need to ACQUIRE is especially important.

‘the need to ACQUIRE is especially important’ — in my pants.

Hundreds of Billions of Dollars are currently being spent on Security Programs having to do with “The Dome,” including for the possible protection of Canada, and this very brilliant, but highly complex system can only work at its maximum potential and efficiency, because of angles, metes, and bounds, if this Land is included in it.

again with the ‘Golden Dome,’ Donny’s own version of Reagan’s ‘Star Wars’ missile defense shield — except this one’s batshittier, more unpractical and more expensive than St. Ronnie’s ever was. and it’s gold, because of course it is. this fucking child and his infantile obsession with gold.

I have an idea. instead of flushing hundreds of billion of dollars down the toilet on an unworkable waste of time that will never be built, why don’t we have affordable healthcare in our country?

silly me for even asking. you don’t have to say it, I’ll just go proactively fuck myself.

The United States of America is immediately open to negotiation with Denmark and/or any of these Countries that have put so much at risk, despite all that we have done for them, including maximum protection, over so many decades. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

‘thank you for your attention to this matter’ — in my pants.

DONALD J. TRUMP
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

ugh.

oh, and that wasn’t Donny only batshit post from yesterday. he also took time to whine about Joe Biden’s autopen.

“Everyone is asking about the Autopen?”

‘what about the autopen’ — in my pants.

“There must be a price to pay, and it has got to be a BIG ONE!”

everybody say it with me: ‘there has got to be a BIG ONE’ — in my pants.

it’s definitely time to do a palate cleanse with our hero of the day: Abigail Spanberger, who was sworn into office yesterday, becoming Virginia’s first woman governor.

what was one of her first acts of office? to end her Republican predecessor’s kowtowing to Donny’s personal gestapo.

On her first day as Governor, Abigail Spanberger made a decisive move: she vetoed Executive Order 47, ending Virginia’s participation in the federal 287(g) program that allowed local law enforcement to act as ICE agents.

awesome. more like this, please.

have a great Sunday, everyone.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Will Humanity Ever Outgrow This Bullshit?

Greg Bovino cosplaying Local Gruppenführer

You like playing a WWII German, Greg? Well, here’s a nice German word for you:

How many times do we need to go through this? Is it going to be every generation’s burden to smash these fascist assholes into the ground going forward, or is there some way to purge this Nazi bullshit from human consciousness once and for all?

This does not lead to the Star Trek future so many of us actively envision and want. (Granted, there were Nazis in Star Trek canon but they were on a single planet whose society had been poisoned by a rogue Star Fleet captain. And then there was the whole “alternate universe” thing introduced in some of the more recent series, but for the most part, that was not where humans in the Star Trek universe went.)

What do you think? Are we destined to forever ride this karmic wheel, switching roles between aggressor and victim each lifetime ad nauseum?

Posted on

Hair Füror: “Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?”

Don’t panic. This is just another attempt to distract from the Epstein files (which are now nearly a year beyond the date set by Congress for full release.)

From Mock Paper Scissors:

The Orange ????  told Reuters that he’s doing such a good job that “when you think of it, we shouldn’t even have an election.”

Semi-sentient jar of Mayonnaise Karoline Leavitt soon  walked it back, insisting he was “simply joking.”

Hair Füror is such a kidder, he enjoys a good laugh at his own expense, amirite?

Anyway, yesterday when we talking about it, I only mentioned how cancelling the elections would cause the government to stop functioning, but I left out all the reasons why Hair Füror cannot cancel the elections,I probably should not have been so fast.

(But we’ve talked about it many times, too).

That said, Taegan Goddard has enumerated the many reasons in his email thingie to paid subscribers, and breaking protocol, here’s what he said:

The president has no authority to cancel elections. Federal elections are governed by the Constitution and federal law, but they are administered by the states. There is no executive order, emergency declaration, or legal loophole that allows a president to simply call them off.

Elections are decentralized by design. The United States doesn’t have a single national election authority. Elections are run by 50 states and thousands of local jurisdictions. Secretaries of state, county clerks, and local election boards do not report to the White House — and they can’t be ordered to “stand down.”

Congress can’t be forced to cooperate. Even if Trump wanted to nullify elections in practice, there is no mechanism to compel Republican members of Congress to resign, suspend terms, or support canceling elections.

The logistics make it unworkable. Elections involve tens of thousands of polling places, millions of ballots, and armies of local workers and volunteers. There is no realistic way for a president to shut down that infrastructure nationwide.

That’s why off-year elections, special elections, and local contests continue to move forward regardless of what Trump says. The system is intentionally fragmented to prevent exactly this kind of abuse.

Trump can complain about elections. He can delegitimize them rhetorically. He can try to undermine trust in the results.

But actually stopping them? That’s a very different thing.

I’m just not worried about that; I know I’m always warning people to not confuse actual scandals with distractions, but this was a distraction.

 

Posted on

Midweek Tiedrich

loyal and patriotic citizens, please stand by for a message of the utmost importance from the President of the United States, Supreme Ruler of the Western Hemisphere, Lord-Emperor of the Sky Above and All the Planets, and God’s Own Avatar on Earth.

ready? here’s the message: ‘fuck you.’

Trump makes obscene gesture, mouths expletive at Detroit factory heckler

“As far as calling him out, definitely no regrets whatsoever,” the heckler told The Post after a video captured Trump twice mouthing “f— you” and raising his middle finger.

here’s how that shit went down: Donny’s handlers got the bright idea to let him out of his gilded bordello, so he could tour a Ford factory in Detroit — and that’s when factory worker TJ Sabula won himself the Nobel Heckling Prize by shouting “pedophile protector!” at Dear Leader.

Out of frame in the video, a person can be heard yelling “pedophile protector” just before Trump mouthed the insult — an apparent reference to the Trump administration’s handling of the investigation into the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

‘an apparent reference’ — oh, Washington Post, you’re adorable. never change.

did Donny simply ignore the taunt and get on with his life, as any dignified leader would? of course he didn’t. the fragile dipshit just couldn’t let it pass. he replied ‘fuck you’ twice, and then gave Sabula the finger.

another day, another perfectly presidential performance from our Toddler-in-Chief.

by the way, Ford has suspended TJ Sabula, ‘pending an investigation.’

I have a question: pending an investigation of what? is Ford going to investigate whether or not Donny protects pedophiles? because we’ve already sussed that shit out.

fact check:

should anyone really be surprised by Dear Leader’s infantile behavior? after all, Donny’s been giving us the finger for years now, on a daily basis.

what, you want sane governance? fuck you. you want peace and justice? fuck you. you want coherent economic policies? fuck you.

you want honesty and accountability? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t lie straight to your face? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t use the government to enrich himself? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t see you as a rube to be fleeced? fuck you.

you want to be able to walk down the street without getting assaulted by masked and armed government thugs? fuck you.

you want to see those Dead Pedo Bestie files? fuck you twice.

here’s Preznit Fuckyou on his way to Detroit.

reporter: “the premier of Greenland said today, ‘we prefer to stay with Denmark.’”

Donny: “who said that?”

reporter: “the premier of Greenland.”

Donny: “well, that’s their problem. that’s their problem. I disagree with him. I don’t know who he is. don’t know anything about him. but that’s gonna be a big problem for him.”

‘that’s going to be a big problem for him’? what the fuck? this isn’t how a head of government talks. this is how a gangster talks. Donny’s answer could have come straight out of the mouth of Tony Soprano.

what, you want a president who doesn’t sound like a mob boss? fuck you.

you want a president who at least bothers to learn the names of the people who lead the countries he’s so horny to invade? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t destabilize the world just to feed his ego, and shit all over decades-old alliances? fuck you.

Donny didn’t just tour that Ford factory during his playdate. he also gave a speech to the Detroit Economic Club.

naturally, he used the occasion to rehash every batshit grievance — real or imagined — rattling around in his big dumb pumpkin head.

“how about the swimming records? I mean you could go to sleep during the time the man comes in and the woman. you could go take a nap for a little while. how about the long-distance race that took place not so long ago? long long distances. marathon deals. they had top men, top women. man came in. THE WOMAN CAME IN FIVE HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS behind the man. think of it. you’re waiting. the man comes in. now you’re waiting five hours. what do you do? you can go home and sleep for a while. who the hell wants that? it’s so demeaning to women who are great athletes. demeaning to them. and it’s right now in the Supreme Court. I can’t believe it would even go to the Supreme Court.”

what the fuck is Donny gibbering about? what does any of the fever-swamp nonsense that just seeped from his rancid anus-mouth have to do with economics?

what, you want a president whose rotting brain doesn’t pinball incoherently from one subject to the next? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t obsess over stupid bullshit? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t manage to be both transphobic and misogynistic at the same time? fuck you.

what, you want a president with an ounce of empathy for the woman who was gunned down by one of his own armed thugs? fuck you.

“one of the reasons they’re doing these fake riots— I mean they’re just terrible. I mean you see it’s so fake. ‘shame! shame! shame!’ you see the woman. it’s all practiced. they go practice. they go to— there is— they take hotel rooms and they all practice together. it’s a whole same. we’re finding out whose funding all this stuff, too. we pretty much know.”

once again: what the fuck is this lunatic babbling about? none of that shit is happening. nobody is ‘rioting,’ they’re peacefully protesting — and what even is a ‘fake riot’? women aren’t practicing in hotel rooms. nobody is getting paid to protest. We the People loathe Donny so much we’ll happily protest for free.

this the stupidest shit you’ll hear all day, and Donny believes every word of it.

what, you want a president whose brain hasn’t been pickled from marinating in the dumbfuckiest of conspiracy theories? fuck you.

the ‘fuck your feelings’ crowd is sure having a lot of feelings right now.

Laura Ingraham: “there was one dimwit in the scene who screamed something about Epstein. Trump flipped him the bird. I hope it was the thunderbird.”

hey, Laura, you know what? fuck your feelings.

good lord. if Joe Biden had ever flipped off a factory worker in public, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would have shit a massive brick, and turned it into a month-long scandal.

here’s a fun post from Lincoln Square Media.

Our Detroit staff has received reports from Ford workers that the President’s body odor was ‘like bad breath mixed with feces — I can’t describe it, but I’ll never forget it.’ yikes.”

is it true? who the fuck knows? it’s certainly believable.

and lastly, let me leave you with some words of wisdom.

live your life in such a way that when you die, your obituaries don’t open with how you were such a ginormous racist asshole that you fucked your own career straight into the shitter.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.