Personally, I intend to outlive the motherfucker so I can piss on his grave.
I’m Not Holding Out Hope
Dan Quayle was an idiot who proved his idiocy time and time again. Yet Republicans insisted he was a giant, because he fit the warped mold of what they consider leadership (white, male, arrogant, rich, and full of it). It wasn’t until Quayle misspelled “potato” that his political viability came crashing down on him.
It was a nothing moment, really. Quayle didn’t even necessarily get it wrong (“potatoe” is an obsolete alternative spelling). But it was a moment that prompted everyone to see what Quayle’s critics had been saying about him from day one: he was an empty shirted buffoon.
Why am I writing about Dan Quayle of all people? Because as inconsequential as that moment was, as inconsequential as he ended up being, the “potatoe” moment still serves as a case study for something being so on the nose that it finally shattered any illusions (or delusions) that anyone was holding about him. There was really no way to defend his intellect after that; after all, the guy couldn’t even spell “potato.”
That was, of course, a comparatively innocent time. Back then we were still debating whether someone was too full of it and stupid to be President of the United States (or Vice President, as it were). We’ve since been subjected to a President of the United States who can’t spell anything, and can barely speak a coherent sentence, yet his illiteracy isn’t among the thousand most disqualifying things about him. We have a President who is a recently convicted felon, whose entire business empire has been exposed as a long running fraud with thoroughly cooked books, who was found by the courts to have sexually assaulted a woman, who tried to violently overthrow the government of the United States, who has advanced dementia and appears to be dying, who was already rejected once for being the worst President in the history of the United States… and he’s back to being President again?
The bar has been set so low over the past decade that Dan Quayle could never even get the Republican nomination because he’s far too literate – and not nearly evil enough. For some reason, for some utterly psychotic reason, Americans decided to try making the worst person in the world the President, and when that was a disastrous failure, they later decided to make him President again. There’s really nothing that could finally turn Americans against him, right?
But that’s when the on-the-nose last straw comes in. Rob Reiner, a lovely man whose life’s work has inspired millions and whose activism was marked by his dignified approach to it, was tragically murdered by his mentally unwell son. It was one of those moments that has caught everyone off guard. I loved everything about Reiner. But even if you didn’t like anything about Reiner, there’s just no way you’d root for him to go out like this, or anything like this. It’s horrifying, and except for the very fringe of internet trolls, no one was going to find any joy in this awful moment.
Even this so-called President of the United States, who openly despised Rob Reiner and everyone knew it, was surely going to sit this one out, right? This small fraction of a man, even if he was celebrating Reiner’s murder privately, surely had the sense not to say it out loud, right? And even if the Asshole-in-Chief was going to say something negative about Reiner in the wake of his murder, he’d at least… I don’t even know. You just thought that even this worthless husk of a man, whose repugnant behavior has been at its absolute worst of late, just might have stopped at the water’s edge on this one.
But no. This deranged individual occupying the Oval Office, who I’m so angry at right now that I can’t even bring myself to use his name in this article, announced that Rob Reiner got himself murdered by being too angrily opposed to – well, we’re not using his name today.
Where does one even start? Never mind that this insane man… no, you know what? I’m not even going to try to analyze it. I don’t want to know what’s going on in his rotten festering mind, and I no longer care. To hell with him. There’s nothing left to analyze, other than to observe that his dementia appears to be making his worst qualities even worse.
But this isn’t about the man whose name I can’t bring myself to type today. It’s about his supporters. It’s about how, after a decade of warning signs, flashing red lights, loud sirens, and glaringly evil thoughts expressed in exact words, this cretin finally said something that prompted many of his own most prominent supporters to loudly and publicly condemn him. It’s about how this monster finally did something that was so on-the-nose monstrous, his weary supporters could no longer hang in there and pretend it was okay – or even keep it to themselves.
There is no way to predict where this will go next. For all we know, his supporters may well fall back in line with him by the time you’re reading this article. They may even have second thoughts about what the cretin said about Rob Reiner, decide it was justified, and start parroting it themselves. It’s happened before. But yesterday felt different. It was as if they knew their toad god had finally done something so egregious that they knew they weren’t going to be able to credibly defend him on it. For one brief cogent moment on their part, they were as repulsed by this repugnant man as the rest of us have been from the start. Something finally pierced the bubble of delusion that had spent a decade pretending up was down, wrong was right, and the most vile and most destructive man on earth was somehow a classy working class hero.
We’ll see what happens now. But maybe, just maybe, something as simple as a President of the United States publicly gloating derangedly over a political adversary’s murder is finally on the nose enough to jolt his remaining supporters into acknowledging that something is very, very wrong.
Valid Question
Valid Question…
Let’s Face It—He’s A Sociopath, Devoid Of All Human Emotion
on Saturday afternoon, some fuckface obtained a weapon of mass death, just as our founders intended. he took that weapon into Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, and opened fire, just as our founders intended, indiscriminately spraying bullets, just as our founders intended, and sending nine people to the hospital and two to the morgue, just as our founders intended.
the unknown shooter then ran off and, as of this writing, is still at large, just as our founders intended.
terrified students spent the entire night barricaded in their classrooms, just as our founders intended.
it was the 465th mass shooting in America this year, just as our founders intended.
just another fucked-up day in the United States of Guntopia.
before we get to Donny Convict’s disgracefully callous response to this tragedy, here’s how a real president mourns.
Joe Biden: “Students should have the freedom to learn in school without having to fear for their lives. Period. We must never accept senseless violence that leaves families and communities shattered. It pierces the very soul of our nation. We can and must do more to prevent gun violence and save lives. Jill and I are grieving the lives lost and those wounded at Brown University, and we are keeping the victims, their loved ones, and all of Providence in our prayers.”
thank you. I miss this guy every day.
now let’s compare that with the reaction of the diaper-shittingest sociopath ever to befoul the Oval Bordello.
“and, uh. Brown University. great school. great— great, really one of the greatest schools anywhere in the world. things can happen.”
first of all, excellent job on the makeup, Mister President. my compliments to your embalmer.
uh, this fucking guy. not one single shred of humanity. just a dispassionate, monotone ‘things can happen.’ Donny puts more emotion into talking about Arnold Palmer’s dick.
we got the same fucked-up response last month, as Donny sat next to the Crown Prince of Bone Saw Arabia and rationalized away the murder of Jamal Khashoggi: ‘things happen.’
this isn’t how a president talks. this is how a mob boss talks.
the shit Donny says makes so much more sense if you imagine it coming out of the mouth of Tony Soprano. ‘so, some kids got shot up? some journalist got bone-sawed? hey, things happen. now leave me alone, can’t you see I’m busy?’
but at least Donny switches it up every now and then. when schoolchildren were gunned down in their classrooms in Perry, Iowa, he didn’t tell us that ‘things happen.’ instead it was ‘we have to get over it.’
thank you for your wise counsel, Preznit Fuckwit.
Donny could give a shit about what happens to other people. he’s too broken-inside to even fake a proper reaction. grief? empathy? what the fuck are those things? he is incapable of a human response to tragedy.
Donny’s handlers have completely given up trying to house-train him.
back in 2018, when Donny met with survivors of the Parkland school shooting, they handed him a cheat-sheet of things to say, so he could at least pretend to give a shit.
they don’t even bother trying to civilize Donny any more. they just shove him in front of the camera and let the chips fall where they may.
so now, all we get is ‘shit happens’ — and then it’s onto the topic on Donny’s list.
unless it’s misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. then we get flags at half staff and an Oval Bordello address.
fuck this fucking fuck.
let’s do a palate cleanse — because this is the perfect moment to watch Secretary of Defense Flippy McCrushnuts do to his thing.
now let’s mock the shit out the rest of yesterday’s press event. here’s a super-fun thing that happened. President No Filters got distracted by a blonde woman standing among the assembled reporters.
“this is the most interesting story. [pointing] boy, do you look like Ivanka. has anyone ever told you that? look at— I’m saying ‘is that Iva—.’ could you just turn around for the camera? does she look— does she look like Ivanka? it’s the most unbelievable thing. I— it’s— I wouldn’t— I didn’t wanna take a chance. I say, ‘is that Ivanka?’ you look just like Ivanka, which is a great compliment.”
ugh. fuck off, you creep.
I’m pretty sure if I were a woman, the last thing I’d want to hear seeping out of Donny’s geriatric anus-mouth would be ‘you remind me of the daughter I want to quote-unquote ‘date.’’
for those of you keeping score at home: if you’re a black woman, it’s ‘shut up, piggy’ — but if you’re a white woman with long blonde hair, it’s ‘come here and let me grope you.’
ugh.
oh, and in case you’re wondering, a loss of sexual inhibition is absolutely one sign of dementia.
oh look, Donny’s Slovenian rent-a-wife was standing next to him the whole time — and boy, does she ever look happy to be there. I’ll bet she’s thrilled whenever her husband starts drooling uncontrollably over every woman who looks like his daughter.
anyway, Donny’s very proud of his plans to shit out an endless series of vulgar monuments, all over Washington DC.
“we have a policy thing that’s gonna— be unbelievable, happening. should I announce it, or should I keep quiet? I put Vince in charge of the Triumphal Arc. we’re building an arc like the Arc de Triomphe… it is something that is so special. it will be like the one in— in Paris but it to be honest with you, it blows it away.”
oh, lovely. Donny’s building an endless series of gaudy totems to himself while We the People struggle to feed our families.
you get two government-approved dolls and five pencils, while Donny gets a fugly arch, a tacky dance hall where the East Wing used to be, three more golf courses, and god knows what else he’s got up his sleeve.
you know who else wanted a ginormous fucking arch to commemorate his glorious Thousand-Year Reich, don’t you? of course you do.
and, finally, what. the. fuck. is. this.
“you heard— did you hear this story? and so, he’s, uh, he’s being read his rites and his— this is— they thought he was dead three times. three different times. they carried him out, feeding him the anti-venom, and over a period of months he was unconscious for a long time, many— weeks. and— he made it. I asked him, ‘how ya doin’ today?’ he said, ‘is it perfect?’ look how quiet everybody is. you know— you know, it’s funny. when you talk about snakes and— things like that. that uhhhhh, people find it interesting. would anybody like to go and— go to Peru and walk around the forest with the— he says ‘no thank you, I’ll say no thank you’— but uh, this was a real— did they ever find the snake, by the way?”
what a charming tale to tell at a White House Christmas reception.
this whole rambling anecdote about snakes is one more five-alarm reminder that President Pudding Cup’s brain has gone fuckity-bye. he can no longer fart out a coherent sentence. and the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press — the very same reporters who turned every one of Joe Biden’s verbal slips into a weeks-long scandal — just stand there like useless lumps.
hey, Jake Tapper — you could probably get three books’ worth of material just from this minute-long clip alone. any interest in following up?
I thought so.
before I let you go, I want to ask: what the fuck is wrong with Greg Bovino?
Obergruppenführer Bovino, you’ll recall, is the psychopath who’s currently ‘commander at large’ for the Border Patrol. I think his official title is Fuckface Who Hurls Tear Gas Canisters At Children And Lies About It To A Judge.
Greggers sure loves him some Nazi cosplay. dude has an entire Third Reich living in his head. I shit you not.
look at how Greg tarted himself up when he showed up on Newsmax yesterday.
so, my question to you is: who wore it better?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Sunday Tiedrich
oh dear, look what Preznit Fuckwit has done now. not satisfied with tarting up the Oval Bordello and the Cabinet Room with vulgar dime-store fake-gold tat, he’s now gluing that shit to the exterior walls of the White House — most recently, above each portrait on his infantile ‘presidential walk of fame.’ you know, the one where Joe Biden is represented by a photo of an autopen.
stay classy, Donny.
and oh look — the entryway to the West Wing now bears signage in the same tasteless golden script that’s outside the Oval Office. does Donny not realize how rinky-dink all this crap makes the White House look? of course he doesn’t. this is what passes for ‘sophisticated’ inside his worm-chewed brain.
hey, do you know who needs to have once-familiar objects labeled for them? dementia patients, that’s who. is that what all this dumbfuckery is about, so Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants doesn’t get confused and wander into traffic while trying to make his way from the Oval Office to the West Wing?
when Donny oozed his way back into power last January, we knew it was going to be a five-alarm shit-show. ‘fucking everything all to hell’ was a low bar, but somehow Dear Leader has managed to slither under it.
in less than a year, Donny has clownfucked the White House — and much of America — into something unrecognizable. and he’s not done — he remains obsessed with taking a massive shit all over literally everything.
The Trump administration issued a notice of default to the group that manages Washington’s three municipal golf courses, escalating a behind-the-scenes struggle over who will control some of the District’s most visible public land and effectively positioning the president to operate its public golf properties.
why? what possible reason could Agolf Shitler have for taking control of Washington’s three public golf courses, other than malignant megalomania?
doesn’t Donny already have enough golf motels? doesn’t he have, you know, a day job that should keep him too busy to have time for this meddlesome shit?
that’s what this micromanaging dipshit is focused on: golf courses, not affordability, not healthcare. not anything that would benefit We the People. because Donny lives inside a fact-free fantasy-bubble where he’s already made everything amazing — and now he’s taken to yelling at MAGA for not understanding how awesome their lives are now.
“When will I get credit for having created, with No Inflation, perhaps the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country? When will people understand what is happening? When will Polls reflect the Greatness of America at this point in time, and how bad it was just one year ago?”
let us know how browbeating your own cultists works out for you, bro. because here’s a free clue: people do ‘understand what is happening.’ every time someone walks into a grocery store and tries to figure out how they’re going to pay for basic necessities, they understand exactly what is happening — and who to blame.
meanwhile, while Donny’s off in cloud-cuckoo land, fiddling with golf courses, his sewer clowns are batshitting at the speed of light.
get ready to pick your jaw up off the floor — because apparently, FBI Director Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel and his flunky, Dan Bingo Bongo Bongino, have been holding secret meetings with Ukraine’s top peace negotiator.
“spark concern” is doing a metric fuckload of heavy lifting in that headline — because think about it: since when does US law enforcement get involved with peace talks, secret or otherwise?
on what planet does this make any sense?
Secret meetings between Ukraine’s top peace negotiator and FBI leaders have injected new uncertainty into the high-stakes talks to end the war there, according to diplomats and officials familiar with the matter.
* * *
The meetings have caused alarm among Western officials who remain in the dark about their intent and purpose.
gee, d’ya think?
who approved this? who thought it was a good idea who take two nitwits with no negotiating skills — or experience — and insert them into the peace process?
Kash and Bongino aren’t even law enforcement experts, much less diplomats they’re grifters and conspiracy-theory podcasters who are in way over their heads.
Krazee-Eyes Kash and Bingo Bongo are running the FBI for the same reason a piss-drunk Fox News dunk tank clown is in charge our nation’s armed forces: because Dear Leader values loyalty over competence.
it’s been that way his entire life. it’s how he ran the Trump Organization — which is why every single one of his business ventures has crashed and burned. Donny doesn’t want experts who might disagree with him, and tell him no. he wants compliant yes-men who will happily rubberstamp whatever fuckbrained scheme he concocts.
and now these two shitwits have inserted themselves into the Ukraine peace process. is the idea to sabotage the whole thing? who even knows?
here’s another bit of fuckwafflery that Donny’s brainiacs have come up with.
that’s right, pal. you want entry into the United States? well then hand over your phone, so Donny’s minions can paw through it and see what you’ve been up to.
It is especially notable that this rule will apply to foreign tourists and visitors from every country, including those where visas are waived. Currently, a British tourist is required to complete the U.S. Electronic System for Travel Authorizations to visit the country, and the social media disclosure would presumably be added directly to this process. However, according to the same notice, foreign travelers will also be expected to surrender other information as well, including all email addresses and phone numbers used in the last five years, as well as the physical addresses, names and contact information of family members.
excuse me?
I don’t know about you, but if I wanted to travel to some country, and was told that first I had to fork over five years of personal data, I’d cordially invite them to eat my entire ass — and then I’d cancel my plans.
no fucking way.
what’s the goal here? to deny entry to anyone who four years ago tweeted ‘Donny is a poopyhead’? or is it to compile a privacy-destroying database of everyone’s personal information?
it’s probably both.
did anyone think this through? implementing this cockamamie idea is going to be a nightmare. the federal government will either need to create a massive new bureaucracy with thousands of civil servants spending hours a day scrolling through millions of social media posts — or, more likely, some fucked-up AI going is going to be turned loose on everyone’s personal data. oh, great. that’s going to be a clusterfuck.
hey, maybe Glenn Beck’s AI George Washington will be pressed into service to keep tabs on all our tik-tok and instagram posts.
is the idea to completely collapse the US tourism industry? spoiler alert: it’s already working.
can anyone explain to me how destroying tourism Makes America Great Again? that shit brings billions of dollars into the United States every year.
EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM YOUR HOST:
END EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM YOUR HOST.
it’s important for us to never forget that none of it is normal.
wearing us down is how fascism wins. we have to keep on top of all of this shit, and ensure none of it gets normalized. it’s fucking exhausting — but necessary.
here’s the good news: Donny is as shit at fascism as he is at running casinos. we’re seeing the wheels coming off Dear Leader’s clown car. the GOP is backing away from his toxic policies, as they lose election after election.
steady on, folks. we’re going to get through this. I promise.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Saturday Tiedrich
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: life, liberty and the pursuit of what in the actual fuck
here’s some nightmare fuel no one asked for — or wanted — but Glenn Beck is inflicting it on us anyway: his ‘interview’ with an AI-generated George Washington.
for some inexplicable reason, AI George (who looks more like AI Gavin Newsom to me) is tarted up in a tight black t-shirt, as if he were some tech-bro version of a founding father.
oh, and excellent job on George’s fingers, Glenn.
but there’s only one thing you need to know about the video: AI George (whose mouth doesn’t match the words coming out of it) is too erudite for a dumbfuck like Beck to understand.
AI George: “if I may speak plainly, my countrymen, the danger, the greatest danger to our republic, lies not in foreign arms or in political faction, but—”
Glenn Beck: “may I interrupt you for a second? could you just dumb it down just a little bit?”
how unfair of Fake George to use big words like ‘countrymen’ and ‘republic.’
I can’t wait until some fuckface comes up with a MAGAfied AI Jesus and uses it to ‘prove’ that ‘blessed are the demented Mad Kings, for they shall shit themselves raw in the Oval Bordello.’
anyway, who needs Glenn Beck’s George Washington when we have Jesse Duquette’s?
tuesday: deck the halls with boughs of what in the actual fuck
look who showed up at this year’s White House Christmas Party: Florida Congresswoman Ann Appalling Lunatic — and she’s brought a friend with her: five-time international lap-hockey champion, Handy Oakley.
questions, as always, abound.
foremost, why is Handy humping Anna’s leg? Handy’s not very big on boundaries, is she. it looks as if she’s just seconds away from giving Anna a vigorous beetlejuicing.
why is Handy always posing like she’s engaging in the world’s oldest profession? she’s standing there as if she were under the gas lamps, luring the farm boys.
is Handy of the impression that the Oval Bordello is an actual bordello?I mean, sure, it’s hard to tell the difference, what with all that vulgar gold-spray-painted tat. but still. come on, woman — you’re embarrassing AI George Washington.
wednesday: have yourself a merry little what in the actual fuck
Fox News has a cheery holiday message for the dunderheads watching at home:
‘oh, were you expecting a nice, live Christmas tree this year? go fuck yourselves, Big Data needs that land for gigantic server farms, so that Glenn Beck can shit out an endless series of fake founding fathers.’
“this server farm is a hundred and fifty acres. yeah, there’s gonna be farms. and there will be transmission lines that have to go through developments. that’s the very nature of a growing economy. like that’s just— everybody needs to get on board. I just don’t— you know what? buy a fake tree.”
for those of you keeping score at home, you are officially allotted five pencils, two dolls and one plastic Christmas tree.
what the fuck kind of messaging is this? ‘you peons should be happy with less, while tech bros are allowed eat up more energy than many entire countries use in a year.’
here’s my reply to Big Data: piss up a rope, pal. you need a server farm? go knock down one of Dear Leader’s shitty golf motels. in fact, flatten all of them. boom — problem solved!
where does this dumbfuckery end? it’s a legit question to ask, because it’s only a short step from telling the cultists to ‘enjoy your fake tree’ to convincing them to willingly become batteries for the Matrix.
come on, loyal patriots — step into the tank. everyone needs to get on board!
thursday: me, myself and what in the actual fuck
oh look — the world’s wealthiest shitwad is out here having a perfectly normal one.
“I’d like to know who the asshole was that came up with the pronouns bullshit in the first place. That dipshit deserves a solid punch in the face.”
gee, the Space Snowflake seems a bit triggered. show us on the doll where pronouns hurt you, bro.
Elon has more money than god. dude could be doing anything in the world, and this is how he chooses to spend his time — hanging out at his own Nazi bar, and airing every single one of his petty grievances. how tiny is that?
since everyone is so into AI this week, let’s waste a few gigawatts on asking one ‘when were pronouns invented?’
look like the Space Nazi is going to have to invent a time machine before he can beat the shit out of the inventor of he, she and it.
you know, there’s only one good response to these fragile shitwits who crap their drawers every time their delicate ears encounter a pronoun — and forgive me for bragging, but I came with it years ago.
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
Friday got off to a great start for some fucking idiot, with the release of super creepy photos from the estate of his dead pedo bestie.
what’s the biggie? who among us hasn’t been photographed with girls whose faces had to be blacked out because they’re all underage victims?
the fucking idiot had a perfectly normal reaction to the news.
President Donald Trump went on a posting spree just minutes after some of the photos from trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s estate were released by Congress.
There were 21 different posts in seven minutes, including memes and videos celebrating Trump and what he paints as his achievements.
the fucking idiot then held some Oval Bordello event, during which he was careful to hide his rotting hand as best he could.
the fucking idiot was ostensibly signing a bill honoring the members of the 1980 Olympic hockey team (why?) — so why the cowboy hats?
what the fuck even is this?
no, seriously — what the fuck?
who wore it better?
then, for the eighth time this month, the fucking idiot insulted a black woman to her face.
and not one worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled media stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Thursday Tiedrich
yesterday, America’s Mad King summoned his royal scribes to the Oval Bordello and proudly announced that ‘it had been an interesting day in terms of news’ (his dumb-ass choice of words, not mine). here’s what was so ‘interesting’: US armed forces had boarded an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela and taken possession of it.
what the fuck? was that an act of war? was it piracy? are we pirates, running around going ‘arrrrrrr, matey, give us your tanker’?
wait — Venezuela is part of the Caribbean. are we the fucking Pirates of the Caribbean now?
Venezuela’s calling it piracy.
US forces have seized an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela, in a major escalation of Donald Trump’s four-month pressure campaign against the South American country’s dictator, Nicolás Maduro, whose government called the seizure “an act of international piracy”.
but look at Donny. he can’t even create an international incident without also pulling on his clown shoes and going buffooning.
“it’s been an interesting day from the standpoint of news. as you probably know, we’ve just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela. large tanker. very large. largest one ever seized, actually.”
can you believe that? Donny actually bragged about the size of the ship.how fragile and needy is that? he can’t even do a simple piracy without going off on a tangent about how it was the greatest piracy off all time. a piracy like no one thought possible. big strong sailors with tears in their eyes were going ‘sir! sir! no one ever boarded us like you did, sir! how do you do it? sir!’
you can’t even parody this stuff, because Donny will get there eventually.
I know that Dear Leader wants us to fear him, but come on. he’s a dipshit — a stupid preening performative-nonsense dipshit. one who gets super aroused by big boats and trucks.
that’s because he’s an deteriorating man-child — and because he’s really fucking dumb.
by the way, because we live in the stupidest possible timeline, the tanker that was seized is named The Skipper.
because of course it is. you cannot make this shit up.
so what’s the end-game here? is Donny taking us to war with Venezuela? all the fuckery he’s been up to lately sure makes it look that way.
Since August, the US has put a $50m bounty on Maduro’s head, launched the biggest naval deployment in the Caribbean Sea since the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, and carried out a series of deadly airstrikes on alleged drug boats that have killed more than 80 people.
Democratic Senator Chris Coons seems to think so.
Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del.) expressed fear Tuesday that President Trump is “sleepwalking us into a war” with Venezuela in the wake of recent tension between the U.S. and the South American country.
“I’m afraid that Secretary [Pete] Hegseth and President Trump are sleepwalking us into a war with Venezuela, and that regime change and access to the critical mineral resources and oil and gas of Venezuela is the real purpose and real goal here,” Coons told MS NOW’s Nicolle Wallace on “Deadline: White House.”
“It sounds a lot like the beginning of a war,” Paul told NewsNation’s Hannah Brandt on Capitol Hill.
stop breaking our hearts, Rand.
on the other hand, this retired Marine colonel says no fucking way.
“The United States does not have the ground forces needed for an invasion,” said Mark Cancian, a retired Marine colonel and co-author of the analysis. “The Venezuelan ground forces number some 90,000 including the army, marines and National Guard. The United States has only 2,200 Marines [nearby], and there’s no movement to reinforce them.”
but when has not being ready ever stopped Donny from doing something monumentally stupid?
Donny is an impulsive imbecile who acts first and thinks never. he tore down the entire East Wing without bothering to have a plan in place for the gaudy dance hall that’s supposed to replace it. it’s a fucking hole in the ground right now. he shitcanned Obamacare subsidies without having anything to replace them.
do you really think Donny’s going to let something silly like not having enough Marines in place keep him from going to war, if he wakes up in a bad enough mood?
Donny says he wants regime change in Venezuela, and to bring democracy to its people. does any of that sound familiar?
hey, remember what happened the last time the good old US of A went war-for-oiling, in Iraq?
it was supposed to be a cakewalk — over in six weeks — with grateful Iraqis throwing flowers, and hailing us as liberators.
remember what actually happened? quagmire city. we were stuck in Iraq for nine years. hundreds of thousands of people died. trillions of dollars got flushed straight down the shitter. and for what? Iraq is a failed state now, and we never actually did get their oil.
that war was planned by Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld.
this oil war — if we have one — is going to be planned by a Mad King, a piss-drunk dunk-tank clown, and Liddle Marco. those ass-clowns are a thousand times dumber than the shitwits who bogged us down in Iraq. whatever they cook up is bound to be a fucking disaster.
when Cheney and his neocons lied us into war with Iraq, at least they had the decency to send Colin Powell over to the UN with bogus ‘evidence’ of Iraq’s fuckery.
we’re still waiting for one single shred of evidence that any of the Venezuelan fishing boats we’ve blown up have had any drugs on them at all.
meanwhile, Donny continues to wander out where the buses don’t run. here’s another inexplicable dollop of what-the-fuck from yesterday’s event.
“Boeing gave me the award for the greatest salesman in the history of Boeing, which was a nice little award. I think I’ve sold a thousand Boeing planes. can you believe it?”
no, we can’t believe it because — spoiler alert — these is no such award. Donny is so thirsty for accolades — and so demented — that he’s now inventing imaginary honors.
wait, that gives me an idea. I have a cunning plan. here’s how we end this thing peacefully.
let’s get Venezuelan President Maduro to announce that Donny has won — oh, I don’t know, let’s call it the Caracas Peace Prize For Being A Super Genius Who Ended All The Wars.
then Maduro can throw a gaudy ceremony for Donny, just like FIFA did. he can give a five-minute speech flattering the shit out of Donny, telling him how amazing he is, and then give him some cheap-ass gold-plated medallion he can hang around his neck.
afterwards, Maduro and Donny can walk off together, best friends forever.
look at me. I just stopped a war. where’s my FIFA Peace Prize?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Vomiting It All Up
and finally…
As If There Was Any Question
[Cankles] was begging for Norway and Denmark to send some “nice people” at his hate rally last night.
Pretty sure he meant “white people”
And today his social media put out this image so….yeah
[Cankles] is racist
Hey MAGA, Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya…
Just Sayin’
Tuesday Tiedrich
the legal career of ace parking garage lawyer Alina Habba has been one fucktacular disaster after another.
she’s been lectured, berated and reprimanded by judges for being unaware of basic courtroom procedures. she did such a terrible job of defending Donny in court that he was found liable for rape, and fined 83.3 million dollars. and a lawsuit she filed on Donny’s behalf against Hillary Clinton was so patently frivolous that Alina wound up being sanctioned for a million dollars.
but it was on January 4, 2024, that Alina secured her spot in the Dumbfuck Hall of Fame. that was the day she appeared on the PBD podcast and shat out these legendary words:
“somebody said to me ‘Alina, would you rather be smart or pretty?’ and I said ‘oh easy, pretty. I can fake being smart’.”
fact check: oh please, fuck straight off. every day of her life, Alina proves she can’t fake being smart. nor can she fake humility, or competence. she can’t even fake being a lawyer.
now we’re learning that she can’t fake basic professionalism.
yesterday, Alina Habba resigned as Acting US Attorney for New Jersey — and she did it in the most MAGA way possible: by going onto Elon’s Nazi Bar and tweeting a pissy statement in which she rehashed every grudge and grievance.
have you noticed that everyone in Donny’s orbit is as petty and childish as he is? this is the lesson they all learn by watching Dear Leader, as he pisses and moans his way through life: that it’s perfectly okay to be a malignant diaper-baby who never stops whining about every fucking thing.
Alina is sooooo aggrieved. doesn’t the Third Circuit understand that Alina’s been fighting the good fight against lawfare for literal years and years? why is everyone being so mean to her? it’s so unfair!
none of this unprofessional twaddle belongs in a resignation letter. this is the kind of letter you write when you’ve been kicked off the high school cheerleading squad.
and this, by the way, is the face Alina makes when she demands to speak with the Third Circuit Court’s manager.
now, here’s the beauty part: the Acting US Attorney job that Habba ‘resigned’ is one she’d already been removed from months ago. that ruling was upheld last week by the Third Circuit.
so basically, since last August, the parking garage lawyer has been pretending to be an Acting US Attorney.
‘pretending to be acting’ — I can’t even believe I just typed that surreal string of words. welcome to life in the shittiest timeline ever.
now Alina has to go out and get a real job, for once. maybe she can learn to play the tiny violin.
here are two more homeys who can’t fake smart — Sean Duffy, the Secretary for Hoping Planes Don’t Fall Out Of The Sky, and Bobby Brainworms, the head of the Department Of Dying From A Preventable Disease.
these two ass-clowns have been putting their heads together, and they’ve come up with some awesome ideas for improving your airport experience.
“maybe I want a workout area where people might get some blood flowing doing some pull-ups or step-ups in the airport.”
oh yeah, I’m loving this idea. this is exactly what we need: a way for dumbfucks to get overheated and sweaty before they sit next to you on a crowded plane.
oh look, they brought an actual pull-up bar with them for the dog-and-pony show. let’s watch Bobby make a complete ass of himself.
what kind of weak-ass nonsense was that? oh come on, Bobby! those aren’t even real pull-ups. where is the effort? put some fucking muscle into it, dude.
we definitely have to gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
Brainworms and Duffy are overgrown and emotionally-stunted children.
it’s as if you took two eight-year-old boys, pumped them full of sugar, and set them loose making national policy.
‘you know what airports need? whale heads! when I grow up, I’m going to have a chainsaw! won’t that be awesome?’
now let’s watch Little Donny Fuckface finally win the Nobel Complete Piece of Shit Prize, as he once again insults and berates a reporter who is a woman of color.
a little background first. last week, reporter Selena Wang asked Donny if he would consider releasing the video that shows those two shipwrecked Venezuelans clinging to the wreckage of their boat, and getting murdered to death by the US military.
here was Donny’s exact answer: ‘I don’t know what they have, but whatever they have, we’d certainly release. No problem.’
got that? now here’s Donny being a complete fuckwad yesterday.
ABC reporter Rachel Scott: “Mr. President, you said you would have no problem with releasing the full video of that strike on September 2nd off the coast of Venezuela. Secretary Hegseth now says—”
Donny: “I didn’t say that. that’s— you said that, I didn’t say that. this is ABC fake news.”
fact check: yes, you did say that. here’s the link again, you doddering old shit-for-brains.
later on in the clip, Rachel Scott asks once again if Donny will release the full video. here’s the Mad King’s charming response.
“didn’t I just tell you that? you are the most obnoxious reporter in the whole place. let me just tell you— you are an obnoxious— a terrible, actually a terrible reporter. and it’s always the same thing with you. I told you.”
you’ll be shocked to learn that Rachel Scott is a woman of color.
and you’ll be shocked to learn that not one of Rachel’s colleagues spoke up in her defense. they all just stood there like the useless lumps they are.
in the last month alone, Donny has insulted seven reporters — all of them women.
why is it always the women who have the courage to ask Donny the uncomfortable questions? what the fuck is wrong with you men? stand up for your profession. stand up for your colleagues.
this is probably a good place to note that my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™ is now in its 2,079th day.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
It’s Uncanny!
A National Embarrassment
Winning. SO. MUCH. WINNING.
Sunday Tiedrich
Holy Mike Johnson, the limpest dick ever to wield the House Speaker’s gavel, is in grave danger of losing his grip on that hammer.
by way of explanation, let me commit a metaphor. everyone loves a metaphor, right? especially when it’s this one.
Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand is, of course, standing in for Holy Mike Johnson. the skateboard represents four Republican Congresswomen who are furious with Holy Mike right now. and the nuts are, well, literal nuts. not everything has to be a metaphor, okay?
the women who are the four skateboards of the nutpocalypse.
the first is Marjorie Three Toes Greene.
the Republican majority in the House right now stands at 220-213.
with Madge sporking her way out of Congress next month, the Republican barely-a-majority in the House will drop to 219 — making it that much harder for Holy Mike to inflict his Christofascist fuckery on We the People.
the second is America’s self-appointed bathroom panty inspector
attention-starved Nancy Mace — currently running to be South Carolina’s Governor, and probably jealous of all the headlines Marge got after announcing she was quitting — has also been making noises about retiring early. per The New York Times,
Representative Nancy Mace of South Carolina has told people she is so frustrated with the Louisiana Republican and sick of the way he has run the House — particularly how women are treated there — that she is planning to huddle with Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia next week to discuss following her lead and retiring early from Congress.
pay particular attention to Nancy saying that she’s sick of ‘how women are treated’ by Holy Mike — because here’s a super-fun headline from The Hill.
get ready for the least-surprising thing you’ll hear today: apparently, Holy Mike Johnson — a Christofascist from a southern state — has a problem with women in power. as a result, he’s been sidelining and ignoring them the entire time he’s been House Speaker.
I know, right? knock me over with a feather.
you have to love the way the Times dances around the issue.
Some [Republican women] said privately that the speaker had failed to listen to them or engage in direct conversations on major political and policy issues, suggesting that doing so was a cultural challenge for Mr. Johnson — an evangelical Christian who has often voiced firm views about the distinct roles men and women should play in society.
‘often voiced firm views’ is doing a shitload of heavy lifting in that paragraph.
what the Times is afraid to come right out and say is that Holy Mike is a raging misogynist who would prefer it if the ladies would get the fuck out of the halls of Congress and back into the kitchen, where they belong. those sandwiches aren’t going to make themselves.
the third skateboard of the nutpocalypse is Florida Rep. Ann Appalling Lunatic — who for once in her weird, interdimensional-entity-obsessed life, is not being an appalling lunatic.
Luna has authored a bill that would ban members of Congress from stock trading — and I think we can all agree that preventing Congress members from enriching themselves off the insider knowledge they hold as lawmakers is a great idea.
it’s fucking heartbreaking.
the problem for Luna — and the rest of us — is that Holy Mike thinks banning stock trading is a shitty idea, and he’s refused to schedule a vote on the bill.
Luna was all ‘this aggression will not stand, man,’ and has filed a discharge petition to force a vote on her bill — much like the one Tom Massie used to force a vote on the Dead Pedo Bestie files.
the fourth skateboard is New York’s Elise Stefanik, best known for having a name Dear Leader can’t pronounce.
“how great did Elise Steppanack do?”
Steppanack Stefanik is hella pissed at Holy Mike right now.
“He certainly wouldn’t have the votes to be speaker if there was a roll-call vote tomorrow,” the New York lawmaker, who is running for governor, said in an interview with The Wall Street Journal. “I believe that the majority of Republicans would vote for new leadership. It’s that widespread.”
Elise and Holy Mike have been slap-fighting for years, but it recently came to a head when Mike balked at a provision she wanted inserted into the National Defense Authorization Act — one that would ‘require the FBI to alert Congress if it opens a counterintelligence investigation into an elected official or candidate.’
according to Punchbowl News,
Stefanik has gone absolutely ballistic on Johnson in the most public way during this dispute, saying the speaker was lying about her and instructing him to “fix this” – in other words, get the provision into the bill. Stefanik said Johnson was “blocking” her policy and the speaker was getting “rolled” by Democrats.
slow the fuck down, Elise — America is in danger of depleting its National Strategic Reserve of Popcorn.
I have a better idea for Stefanik. instead of some dumb-ass provision to require the FBI to rat on itself, how about Elise’s Republican colleagues stop being such lawless fucksticks, and maybe they won’t have to be investigated by the FBI in the first place?
now here’s where the Elise-vs-Holy Mike feud gets weird — because as almost always is the case when it’s Republican-on-Republican violence, both sides fucking suck.
recall that back in the early days of the Mad King’s second reign, Donny nominated Steppanack Stefanik to be Ambassador to the United Nations — and then, a couple of weeks later, withdrew her nomination. who even remembers why? it’s impossible to keep up with the firehose of fuckery that’s being sprayed in our faces, twenty-four-seven.
anyway, when no-longer-a-nomineeElise slunk back the House to resume being a Rep, Holy Mike named her ‘chairwoman of House Republican Leadership,’ as sort of a consolation prize — and, apparently, she wasn’t grateful enough.
A senior Republican congressional aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of prolonging an intraparty feud, said that after Mr. Johnson had provided Ms. Stefanik with office space and a budget for what the aide described as “a fake job and a fake title,” he would have expected her to be more gracious.
it cannot be stressed enough that all of these Republicans fucking suck. Elise Stefanik is supposed to fall all over herself in gratitude over being given what the anonymous aide admits is ‘a fake job and fake title’?
these people are all ill-tempered children, and they deserve each other.
shed not a tear for Holy Mike, should he lose the House Speakership. he’s been a fucking nightmare. he’s weak and ineffective. he’s an evasive liar. ask any question about some fuckery of Donny’s that’s been all over the news, and he’ll claim to have never heard about it.
worse than any of that, Johnson has completely abdicated the House Speaker’s Constitutionally-ordained role as a check on the presidency. he’s let a fluorescent tangerine Mad King run wild, never once blocking any of his fuckbrained schemes. whatever Donny wanted — no matter how obviously ruinous — was fine with Mike. incoherent tariffs? go for it, Dear Leader. unconstitutional executive orders? you do you, bro. fire all the experts and replace them with morons? sounds good to us. prosecute political enemies? knock yourself out. kick millions of people off their healthcare so that gazillionaires can have another tax cut? what could possibly go wrong?
the end of Holy Mike’s grasp on power — whether from being stabbed in the back by his own party, or by Republicans losing their majority after the likely Blue Tsunami midterms — can’t come fast enough.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
No Shit!
LONG Before It Starts Looking Like This!
Another Week Ends With Mr. Tiedrich
‘congratulations, world.’
that’s an actual quote from some White House chucklefuck — and she wasn’t being sarcastic. oh no, not at all. we’re apparently all supposed to genuflect in gratitude over Dear Leader’s latest exercise in fragile megalomania.
on Wednesday, out of the clear blue, workers showed up at the US Institute of Peace building in Washington DC, and slapped Donny Convict’s name on it.
how awesome. Preznit Fuckwit has defiled yet another of our public institutions. try not to projectile vomit as you look on in horror.
congratulations, us. we’re so fucking lucky.
of course, Donny inflicting his accursed name onto everything and glomming credit for shit he didn’t do is pretty much his entire business model — but this instance of it is so fucking galling on about eighteen thousand different levels.
first of all, this ghoulish hyena’s name would be more appropriate on a building that houses the US Institute For Bombing The Shit Out Of Shipwrecked Survivors Who Are Trying Not To Drown.
what kind of ‘war is peace’ bullshit is this?
wherever he is right now, George Orwell is ripping fistfuls of hair out of his head and screaming ‘god fucking dammit, 1984 was supposed to be a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual.’
secondly, what Donny just slapped his brand on is a pretty much empty building. the US Institute of Peace is barely even a thing right now, thanks to the Space Nazi. one fine day last March, his merry band of unfuckable DOGE incels showed up at the Peace Institute and announced, ‘congratulations, everyone — you’re all fired.’ next came the inevitable lawsuits over the firings.the whole thing is tied up in court right now, while the building is a ghost town.
can Donny even legally fart his name onto any public building he chooses? probably not, but stupid little issues of legality didn’t stop him from demolishing the East Wing. welcome to life in the shittiest timeline ever.
congratulations, us!
thirdly, this is what Donny is wasting his time on, as the prices of goods and services go up, and the cost of healthcare skyrockets. any caring leader might spend some time trying to fix any of that shit — but this asshole can’t be bothered to lift a finger.
so there goes Donny, traipsing through DC, pissing all over yet another public institution — and then telling us how lucky we are.
White House spokesperson Anna Kelly confirmed the move, calling it “beautifully and aptly named,” and saying it “will stand as a powerful reminder of what strong leadership can accomplish for global stability.”
“Congratulations, world!” she said.
our next president is going to be able to create an entire jobs program devoted to prying this fucker’s name off of everything. it can’t come fast enough.
but oh wait, it gets stupider.
FIFA — the sports org that oversees the World Cup — has invented a fake peace prize. and you’ll never guess who they’re awarding it to.
Not long after President Trump missed out on the Nobel Peace Prize that he openly campaigned for, his friend Gianni Infantino got to work.
Mr. Infantino, president of FIFA, soccer’s global governing body, who had publicly lobbied for Mr. Trump to receive the peace prize, simply had his organization establish its own. The announcement of the “FIFA Peace Prize — Football Unites the World” was so hastily arranged that it surprised several of the body’s most senior officials, including board members and vice presidents, according to four soccer executives briefed on the events.
oh my god, it’s just one embarrassing episode after another, isn’t it? healthy, well-balanced people don’t need to be mollified by having ersatz awards conferred on them by dipshits trying to curry favor. and Preznit Fuckwit is falling for it. he’s over the moon to be handed this sham honor.
A White House spokesman, Davis Ingle, said that Mr. Trump was “excited to attend” the draw.
what the fuck is next? the Big Mac Peace Prize? there’s probably no end to corporate institutions willing to play this game. can we get the Quaker Oats people come up with a prize? at least Quakers actually believe in peace — unlike some footballers we could name.
can you think of another country whose fragile Dear Leader needs constant affirmation that he’s a good boy. a very good boy. maybe the best boy ever? perhaps North Korea. oh great, we’re now on par with Kim Jong-un’s failed state.
congratulations, us.
there’s no word on what this award is going to look like, but I hope it’s a big gold-plated binky.
can you think of another country whose fragile Dear Leader needs constant affirmation that he’s a good boy. a very good boy. maybe the best boy ever? perhaps North Korea. oh great, we’re now on par with Kim Jong-un’s failed state.
congratulations, us.
there’s no word on what this award is going to look like, but I hope it’s a big gold-plated binky.
now get ready to win the Nobel I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Little Award, because — congratulations, world! — this year’s White House Christmas card just dropped.
look, I warned you.
seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? it’s a cult — one in which every single member has unresolved daddy issues.
but we need to fact-check Dear Leader’s suspiciously healthy hand in that graphic, because Donny’s real-life hand — in a photo taken yesterday — is telling a much uglier story.
yeesh. oh my god. look at that bloated, decaying thing, like the hand of a corpse that was just pulled out of a polluted lake. and now Donny’s wearing what looks like two band-aids. concealing what, pray tell?
what are they not telling us about Dear Leader’s health?
we definitely need a palate cleanser after that, so here’s your hero of the day, bicycling his way past what I believe is the Treasury Building in Washington, DC.
I have no idea who this dude is — the vid was posted to not-twitter by our friend Anarchy Princess — but I do like his style.
let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
now there’s a positive affirmation we can all get behind.
congratulations, Donny.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Thursday Tiedrich
tell me, is it a bad thing when the leader of your party is a drooling halfwit serenely convinced of his own brilliance?
is it a bad thing when the leader of your party lives inside his own fact-free fantasy-bubble where everything is amazing, and ignores all evidence to the contrary?
and is it a bad thing when the leader of your party cannot be persuaded to give the tiniest of micro-fucks for the needs of your constituents?
pour one out for the Republican Party, folks, because they’re now finding out the hard way that the answer to all three questions is ‘oh fuck, it’s a catastrophe.’
CNN’s Harry Enten: “Republicans should be running for the hills this morning, because the blue wave is building. what are we talking about here? well, Matt Van Epps, the Republican candidate, he won it by 9 — but this is a district that Donald Trump won by 22 points. this is a 13-point gain for the Democrats in terms of the margins, and excuse time for Republicans is over. because I hear all about these special elections. ‘oh, the turnout’s so low, it’s not representative of what would happen in a midterm election.’ the turnout last night in Tennessee’s 7th district was equal to the turnout in the 2022 midterm election. so the blue wave seems to be building right out of the center of Tennessee.”
Tuesday’s special election in Tennessee was a five-alarm disaster for the GOP. oh, sure, their boy won — but it was a nail-biter, in a heavily-gerrymandered distract that should have been an electoral cakewalk. if Republicans can’t turn that shit around, pronto, they’re facing a wipe-out in next year’s midterms — and they fucking well know it.
with that in mind, they want Donny to stop farting around. put down the fabric samples for the gaudy dance hall, stop tarting up the Oval Bordello, stop making cow-eyes at the Nobel Peace Prize, and focus on what really matters to the American people.
Some of President Donald Trump’s closest allies in Congress are warning that the party needs to sharpen its affordability message to voters heading into the 2026 elections — or risk big losses that would shackle him for the rest of his second term.
good luck with that. if Republicans think they’re going to get Dear Leader to hone his ‘affordability message,’ I’m afraid I’ve got some rather bad news for them.
“the word ‘affordability’ is a Democrat scam.”
how’s that, GOP? it that ‘honed’ enough for you?
I hate to break it to Republicans, but the Mad King thinks he’s already fixed that shit. the delusional dumbfuck imagines that the economy is roaring along — and if you think otherwise, it’s because you’ve fallen for a ‘Democrat scam.’
the problem for Republicans is that Dear Leader can’t bullshit his way out of a bad economy. it’s easy to bamboozle MAGA into believing that he’s ended a skillionty wars. that shit’s abstract. it’s easy to post some blurry video of a boat on fire, and convince his dumbfuck worshipers that he’s winning some farcical war on ‘narcoterrorism.’ that’s happening thousands of miles away.
but the price of goods and services? that’s something even the hardest-core cultist can see with their own eyes.
as Abe Lincoln famously said, ‘you can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool anyone who walks into a grocery store and actually sees what things cost into believing that prices are going down.’
and that is why Matt Van Epps came this close to getting his ass handed to him in Tennessee’s no-longer-solidly-red 7th District.
Republicans think they can solve this shit by getting Dear Leader back out on the campaign trail.
“I would love him to get back to driving around in the garbage truck, going to McDonald’s. Go to a supermarket, go to a farm. That’s when he’s at his best,” Rep. Jeff Van Drew told CNN, recalling a message he conveyed to the president in a lengthy phone call earlier this week. “Next year, we got to concentrate — the American people first.”
oh yeah, please get Preznit Fuckwit up on a garbage truck again.
I would pay good money to watch that.
remember what happened last time Donny tried to climb into a truck? he almost killed himself.
his rotting hand refused to function, and his gimpy leg almost collapsed — and that was over a year ago. Donny’s in much worse shape now. he’s lucky he can even get out of bed in the morning. it’s a miracle that the narcoleptic old fuck doesn’t go face down in his lunch on a daily basis.
sorry, Republicans, that ‘Donny’s a man of the people’ shit ain’t happening any more. Donny’s too old — and too deteriorated — to go out in public. he’s tired, and can no longer hack the grind.
he’d rather just hang out at his vermin-infested golf motel and hobnob with cronies.
It has been many months since Trump hosted a full-on campaign-style rally. He has opted instead to travel abroad, golf at his private clubs, and dine with wealthy friends, business leaders, and major donors…. And that lack of regular voter contact has contributed to a growing fear among Republicans and White House allies: that Trump is too isolated, and has become out of touch with what the public wants from its president.
and therein lies the crux. Donny’s out of touch with reality, and he’s surrounded himself with equally out-of-touch cronies who tell him that everything is amazing — and why not? for Donny and his cronies, everything is amazing. not one of these obscenely wealthy fuckfaces ever worries about the price of anything. they don’t have to.
look at Soybean Scott Bessent.
s this the face of a man who gives a shit if the price of a bottle of Lafitte Rothschild ’75 goes up by two hundred dollars? trust me, he doesn’t even notice.
these are the people who are slapping Donny on the back and telling him he’s doing a great job.
meanwhile, the economy continues to crater.
Economists on Wednesday expressed significant concerns after new data from global payroll processing firm ADP estimated that the US economy lost 32,000 jobs last month.
to the Republicans who think Donny’s going to magically snap out of it and start ‘honing his message’ about ‘affordability,’ I say ‘sorry, peeps.’
Donny’s gonna do it his way. literally. yesterday, at 2pm, Donny was blasting Frank Sinatra’s My Way out of the windows of the White House.
here’s my message to Donny: shove your head in the sand, ignore reality, and keep imagining that the economy is going great guns. you do it your way, bro.
close your eyes tight enough, Donny, and you won’t even see the blue wave coming in 2026.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other
Vomiting It All Up
Are We Finally In The “Find Out” Phase Of This Bullshit?
Mr. Smith, who spent more than two years aggressively collecting evidence to prove Trump mishandled classified documents and tried to overturn the results of the 2020 election, appears eager to publicly challenge Trump. Smith has made it unmistakably clear that he will not only defend himself but take a hammer to Mr. Trump’s exaggerated and false claims. There’s “tons of evidence” Smith said, that Mr. Trump had willingly retained the classified documents at his residence in Mar-a-Lago and tried “to obstruct the investigation.” Some Republicans have privately expressed concern that Mr. Trump’s quest for vengeance could backfire by giving a credible anticorruption investigator an open mic. Jack Smith still has the capacity to inflict significant political damage by discrediting the MAGA narrative that Trump did nothing wrong.
Source: The New York Times
Midweek Tiedrich
Little Donny Fuckface’s superpower has always been how relatable he is. he’s just like one of us!
under all the burnt-cork spray-tan, under that rat’s nest of fucked-up bullshit atop his big, dumb pumpkin head, under the makeup that conceals his rotting hand, under that doughy torso, and the neckgina and the cankles, Donny’s just a perfectly normal homey, doing perfectly normal stuff.
I mean, who among us hasn’t sat at the head of a table while sycophants and psychopaths praise our imaginary accomplishments, as we gradually lose consciousness and fill the room with the piquant aroma of ass music?
seriously, check out Don Snorelone during yesterday’s cabinet meeting. the decaying old fuck is fast asleep, even as Marco Rubio kisses his ass.
“[the Ukraine war] never would have happened, if you had been president. but the president is trying to end it. not because— listen, we have a million things to focus on in the world, as a country, but he’s the only leader in the world that can help end it, and that’s why we’re in that— that’s why even as we speak to you now, Steve Witkoff ids in Moscow, trying to find a way to end this war, to save the lives of eight, nine thousand people, Mr. President, as you know are dying every week.”
I don’t know about you, but I would have paid good money to watch Liddle Marco smack Dear Leader upside the head, and go ‘wake the fuck up, dipshit, I’m talking to you.’
can we fact check Marco here? because he’s lying his lying face off.
Steve Griftkoff, as has been widely reported, is not trying to end the war in Ukraine so much as he’s trying to cut deals with Russia that would enrich Dear Leader and his oligarch cronies, as they divvy up what’s left of Ukraine, strip it of its wealth, and sell it off to the highest bidder. stop trying to pretend that these goniffs have anything but their own greedy self-interests at heart.
Donny can barely keep his eyes open as Kristi Noem drags the remaining shreds of her dignity out back to the gravel pit and shoots it in the face.
“sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane. you kept the hurricanes away. we appreciate that.”
so, Dear Leader controls the weather now? what, like Tim the Fucking Enchanter?
I don’t remember reading any unhinged, all-caps tweets from Donny where he tells hurricanes that they BETTER STAY AWAY FROM AMERICA IF THEY KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM, and then thanks them for their attention to this matter.
look, Donny can’t even keep his eyes open while Plastered Pete Kegstand does his ‘what me warcrimes’ act, like some psychopathic Alfred E. Newman.
reporter: “so you didn’t see any survivors, to be clear, after that first strike?”
Kegstand: “I did not personally see survivors. but I stand— ’cause, the thing was on fire. it exploded, and fire, and smoke, you can’t see, you got digital— this is called the fog of war. this is what you in the press don’t understand. you sit in your air-conditioned offices or up on Capitol Hill, you nitpick and you plant fake stories in the Washington Post about ‘kill everybody.’”
says the Fox News dunk-tank clown who sat in his air-conditioned office and ordered Admiral Bradley to ahem allegedly commit war crimes.
Pete’s so worked up, because we don’t know what it’s like to be in his shoes. he’s seen stuff, man, that you can’t possibly understand.
it’s true, most of us have no idea what it’s like to be a piss-drunk embarrassment — and I’m pretty sure that almost none of us have ever flipped a skateboard into our own nuts.
just listen to this pixelated piss-ant puff himself up into something he’s not, prattling on about the ‘fog of war,’ as if he were George Fucking Patton, personally leading his troops to victory in the Battle of the Bulge.
fact check: fuck off all the way to Mars.
THERE IS NO FOG, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAR.
it’s not a war, because you can’t unilaterally declare that fishing boats are military targets, and start dropping bombs on them. not unless you want to end up in the The Hague, on trial for your ahem alleged war crimes.
you know, somewhere in this multiverse there’s a timeline where Jack Smith gets his old job back as War Crimes Prosecutor and convicts every one of these shitweasels. wouldn’t that be fucking delicious? I want to live in that timeline.
you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
by the way, special shout-out to the dumbfuck who misspelled ‘secretary’ on Piss-Drunk Pete’s name card.
Preznit Fuckwit should have stayed asleep, because when he woke up, he launched into one of the all-time most horrific racist tirades ever, directed at Minnesota’s Somali community.
this dozy shitwad can’t even keep his eyes open as he does his Old Man Yells At Entire Ethnic Group act.
“and I see these people ripping it off. and now I’m understanding, and you’re gonna look into that’s guh— I hear they ripped off— Somalians ripped off that state for billions of dollars. billions. every year. billions of dollars. and they contribute nothing. the welfare is like 88%. they contribute nothing. I don’t want ’em in our country, I’ll be honest with you. someone would say ‘oh, that’s not politically correct.’ I don’t care. I don’t want ’em in our country. their country’s no good for a reason. their country stinks, and we don’t want ’em in our country. I can say that about other countries too. I can say it about other countries too. we don’t want ’em the hell— we have to rebuild our country. you know, our country is at a tipping point. we could go bad. we’re at a tipping point. I don’t know if people mind me saying that, but I’m saying it. we could go one way or the other. and we’re gonna go the wrong way if we keep taking in garbage into our country. Ilhan Omar is garbage. she’s garbage. her friends are garbage. these aren’t people that work. these aren’t people that say, ‘let’s go, come on, let’s make this place great.’ these are people that do nothing but complain. they complain. and from where they came from, they got nothing. you know, they came from paradise and they said ‘this isn’t paradise.’ but where they come from hell and they complain and do nothing but bitch. we don’t want ’’em in our country. let ’em go back to where they came from and fix it.”
Donny’s so presidential, isn’t he? what a man of the people.
let’s leave Donny racist rant aside for a moment, because I have a question: why the fuck is Donny always so angry?
he should be the happiest guy in the world. he’s led a positively charmed life.he’s grifted billions of dollars from his adoring cultists. he’s escaped accountability for almost every crime he’s ever committed. he’s the president of an entire country, and he has his own personal Supreme Court to declare him a Very Special Boy Who Can Continue Criming Forever. every single day of his life, he gets away with shit no one else does.
and yet, every day he finds some new grievance to yell about, and someone to hate.
yesterday, it’s low-flush toilets, or windmills. today, it’s Somalis.
if you took Donny’s rant and substituted ‘Jews’ for ‘Somalis,’ it would sound exactly like something out of the Third Reich. it was that openly hateful.
Donny was so egregiously racist that even the reporters at The New York Times were forced to rouse from their slumbers and write about it — and if there’s one thing that Times nepo-publisher AG Sulzberger really fucking hates, it’s when his reporters have no choice but to commit a journalism. it really ruins his day.
President Trump unleashed a xenophobic tirade against Somali immigrants on Tuesday, calling them “garbage” he does not want in the United States in an outburst that captured the raw nativism that has animated his approach to immigration.
Even for Mr. Trump — who has a long history of insulting Black people, particularly those from African countries — his outburst was shocking in its unapologetic bigotry.
no fucking shit.
ook, reporting on Donny’s racism is all well and good, but I have a question for the all the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press — and for their editors, back in their air-conditioned offices:
where are the calls for Donny to resign? where are the angry editorials?
he’s so obviously not up to the job. he’s cognitively impaired to the point where he’s incoherent. he’s clearly unwell, and in poor health. he’s never had the temperament to be president, and he’s only getting worse.
he can’t even stay awake during his own cabinet meetings.
any other president would be hounded by the press, on a daily basis.
remember this shit?
one horrendous debate, and the media did not let up on their jihad against Biden until he finally withdrew from the race.
every day, Donny proves that he is dangerously incapable of governing — and all we get from the press is the deafening sound of crickets.
it’s fucking maddening.
let’s go out on a high note, because not all of yesterday’s news was bad. some of it was, in fact, perfectly delightful.
Shares in Eric Trump’s crypto mining business lost nearly 40% of their value in less than 30 minutes on Tuesday.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
oops, I meant to say ‘oh how terrible for Eric.’
Write A Happy Story
Tuesday Tiedrich
Plastered Pete Kegstand never stops trying to convince us how tough he is. he posts pathetically-needy videos in which he does weak-ass pull-ups. he’s covered himself in christofascist tattoos. he’s forever yammering on about warrior ethos, and he’s renamed himself to be Secretary of All The Wars.
but there’s one thing Piss-Drunk Pete won’t do — and it’s a thing that would really display toughness: take responsibility for his fuck-ups.
nah, Pete’s not going to do any of that taking responsibility shit. not where there are all these buses all over the place. nice, big buses, with roomy undersides. perfect for throwing admirals under.
“Let’s make one thing crystal clear: Admiral Mitch Bradley is an American hero, a true professional, and has my 100% support. I stand by him and the combat decisions he has made — on the September 2 mission and all others since. America is fortunate to have such men protecting us. When this @DeptofWar says we have the back of our warriors — we mean it.”
spoiler alert: Plastered Pete does not have anyone’s back. Pete will betray you in a hot second. look how quickly Pete’s story went from ‘this is fake news, nobody gave any orders to kill all survivors’ to ‘I support the admiral’s right to commit war crimes.’
what the fuck is going on? you change your tune that fast, you definitely have something to hide.
let’s back up here, and remember that after the WaPo reported on November 28th that
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth gave a spoken directive, according to two people with direct knowledge of the operation. “The order was to kill everybody,” one of them said.
the official Pentagon response was
“This entire narrative is completely false.”
but that was then. now the story has magically changed to ‘Admiral Bradley ate my homework.’
remember ‘the buck stops here’? well, the buck doesn’t stop anywhere near Pete. the only thing that stops for Pete is the drinks cart.
let this serve as a warning to anyone else who might consider following Piss-Drunk Pete’s illegal orders. not only will you be opening yourself up to a world of legal hurt, you’re also going to find out damn quick what the undercarriage of a bus looks like.
Pete doesn’t give a fuck about you.
“Hegseth is very transparently blaming a Navy admiral for his own decision. Let this be a lesson for every other military officer: The Trump administration will issue unlawful orders, then blame you for following them.”
hey, Flippy McCrushnuts — is this Admiral Bradley’s fault, too? did he give the order for the skateboard to take out your crotch?
oh look, the White House is also throwing Bradley under the bus.
reporter: “does the administration deny that the second strike happened, or did it happen and the administration denies that Hegseth gave the order?”
Karoline Leavitt: “the latter is true … Admiral Bradley worked well within his authority, and the law.”
how nice of all these shameless shitweasels, to get their stories straight.
now, let’s keep a clear mind here: if Admiral Bradley obeyed an illegal order to slaughter shipwrecked survivors, in violation of the Department of Defense’s own Law of War Manual that says NOT TO SLAUGHTER SHIPWRECKED SURVIVORS, he’s culpable as fuck in this mess — and must face consequences.
but if Piss-Drunk Pete manages to slither away from this with clean hands, that’s a fucking perversion of justice.
notice how quick Pete was to glom all credit for bombing the shit out of Venezuelan fishing boats — right up until the moment both Senate and House Republicans announced investigations to find out if provable war crimes had been committed, at which point Pete was all ‘who me?’
there’s your real MAGA ethos: ‘who me?’
remember after Preznit Fuckwit botched his response to covid, resulting in the needless deaths of millions of Americans? remember what Donny said? ‘I don’t take responsibility at all.’
none of these fuckers will ever take responsibility for anything. it’s always someone else’s fault. Joe Biden. his autopen. Admiral Bradley.
I’ve got a free clue for Pete Kegstand: he may think he got away with it this time, but he’d better watch his own back. the second he becomes a political liability for Donny, he’ll find himself chucked under the nearest bus, in a heartbeat.
none of these shitwits ever thinks the leopards are going to eat their face.
ha fucking ha. nothing could be further from the truth. here today, gone tomorrow. just ask James Comey. or John Bolton. or Marjorie Three Toes Greene. or — well, the list is endless, isn’t it?
here’s your other slice of dumbfuckery for the day.
the White House, at long last, released the results of Donny’s most-recent MRI.
now, ‘released the results’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that last sentence — because the note that Donny’s physician foisted on us was pure, unadulterated gaslighting.
“As part of President Donald J. Trump’s comprehensive executive physical, advanced imaging was performed because men in his age group benefit from a thorough evaluation of cardiovascular and abdominal health. The purpose of this imaging is preventive: to identify issues early, confirm overall health, and ensure he maintains long-term vitality and function.”
now hold on just one fucking second. there is no such thing as a ‘preventative MRI.’
don’t take my word for it. I’m just some foulmouthed crank on the internet who actually knows less about doctoring than all the doctors.
let’s listen instead to Dr. Jonathan Reiner. he was Dick Cheney’s cardiologist for thirty years, so I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about.
Dr. Reiner countered that it was not “standard” for an 80 year-old president to undergo advanced imaging, and that “there really is no preventative cardiac MRI.” He also pointed out that Trump already had his annual physical in the spring, meaning that the fall MRI was unrelated.
“The whole note has kind of a weird defensive, evasive tone to it,” Reiner said. “First of all, this is not part of the president’s comprehensive physical examination. He had that in April, and then he underwent some more testing in July.”
for the umpteenth time, Donny’s handlers are feeding us some some fairy-tale shit-sandwich about Dear Leader’s health — and we’re expected to shut the fuck up and swallow it wholesale.
I’m sorry, but this guy is not well, and We the People deserve real answers, not some bullshit fever dream about ‘preventative imaging.’
whether it’s imaginary bone spurs or a miraculously-regenerated ear, it’s amazing how Donny always manages to find some quack willing to ditch their professional ethics, and lie right to our faces.
meanwhile, those House and Senate investigations into Donny and Pete’s fishing boat fuckery are coming. will any of the actual perpetrators face accountability?
stay tuned.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Vomiting It All Up
Right?
Midweek Tiedrich
that he can’t ever have an appropriate human response to anything. you’d imagine that every now and then he’d stumble into decency by accident, but no. somehow, in every situation, he always manages to be the worst person possible.
look at this. Donny can’t even perform the simple ceremonial act of pardoning a turkey without being a ginormous piece of shit.
“instead of pardons, some of my more enthusiastic staffers were already drafting the paperwork to ship Gobble and Waddle straight to the Terrorist Confinement Center in El Salvador.”
HA HA HA HA HA, GET IT? Donny was going to send the turkeys to the same slave-labor torture-gulag into which he disappears innocent migrants. gross human rights violations are so fucking hilarious, am I right?
what kind of sick ghoul even thinks of such a thing to say?
also, ‘Gobble’ and ‘Waddle’? they named the turkeys after the way Donny eats and walks? do you think they intended to name them ‘Goebbels’ and ‘Wehrmacht’ but decided at the last minute it was too on-the-nose?
how dare this corrupt fuck even joke about granting pardons. he’s made a mockery of the whole process. he’s pardoned war criminals. he’s pardoned cop beaters. pedophiles. political cronies. business partners.
stuff a sock in it, Donny. after all that shit, no one’s impressed that you’re pardoning birds.
if Donny had any decency at all, he’d have hidden himself away in shame, and gotten Joe Biden’s autopen to pardon those turkeys. but silly me, for even imagining some farcical version of Donny that has the ability to feel shame.
no, Preznit Fuckwit has no shame — and so he’s out here making sick jokes about disappearing Goebbels and Wehrmacht into a Salvadoran torture prison.
and then he turned the whole thing into just another MAGA rally speech, where he praises himself for all his imaginary accomplishments, and takes gratuitous swipes at his political enemies.
“[JB Pritzger] is a big fat slob.”
fact check: shut the fuck up, Piggy. do you even own a mirror?
it was so fucking ludicrous — and so inappropriate — that even the lapdogs at the Washington Post couldn’t help but commit a journalism and point out the absurdity of it.
while that was going on, Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel’s FBI was busy harassing the six Democrats who committed the high crime of reminding our armed forces to obey the Constitution.
The FBI has requested interviews with six Democratic members of the U.S. Congress who in a video message told members of the military they can legally refuse to carry out unlawful orders, a Justice Department official told Reuters on Tuesday.
what a super-appropriate use of government resources, to send law enforcement to intimidate political opponents who had the temerity to annoy America’s Mad King.
these six Democrats committed no crime, and everyone knows it. this is pure authoritarian bullshit. Dear Leader wants us all to be too terrified to open our mouths in protest of his evil fuckery. yeah, well — here’s a free clue for you, Donny.
we’ve become the very thing we used to mock — a tinpot third-world autocracy being mismanaged into the ground by a dangerous lunatic.
lucky us.
look who Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, Secretary of Who Gives A Shit What He Calls It, is mad at today.
U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is planning for the military to sever all ties with Scouting America, saying the group once known as the Boy Scouts is no longer a meritocracy and has become an organization designed to “attack boy-friendly spaces,” according to documents reviewed by NPR.
apparently the Scouts have come down with a bad case of woke.
In a draft memo to Congress, which sources shared with NPR but which has not yet been sent, Hegseth criticizes Scouting for being “genderless” and for promoting diversity, equity and inclusion.
genderless! oh noes! someone wake up Nancy Mace.
Last year, as a Fox News host, he complained about the Scouts changing their name and admitting girls back in 2018.
what is Piss Drunk Pete afraid of here. the boys are going to get cooties?
His memo to the House and Senate Armed Services committees argues the Scouts have strayed from their mission to “cultivate masculine values.”
what are these ‘masculine values’ that SecDef Kegstand is so hot to have the Scouts ‘cultivate’? is it getting ahem allegedlyblackout drunk and then paying your victim to shut the fuck up about having ahem allegedly been assaulted?
tell me more about these ‘boy-friendly spaces.’ does Piss Drunk Pete imagine himself living inside a Little Rascals short, in which he’s a proud member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?
maybe if Piss-Drunk Pete is so hot for ‘boys’ to have their own ‘spaces’ where they can learn ‘masculine values,’ maybe he should start his own club. a government-sponsored youth group, complete with its own uniform. a group where boys can learn to be loyal patriots, working to better their lives in service of Dear Leader.
I’m loving this idea.
of course, this new org is going to need a name. how about the Shitler Youth? those two pardoned turkeys, Goebbels and Wehrmacht, can be the official mascots.
or is that too on the nose?
where does Plastered Pete even find time for this penny-ante shit? he’s running an entire branch of the government. he’s responsible for millions of employees. there are only so many hours in the day.
but here he is, drafting memos about whatever stupid bug has wedged itself up his ass on any given day. way to focus on what’s important, you drunk-dialing national security nightmare.
seriously, Donny and all his henchmen are wrecking everything — from the big shit like geopolitical relationships, all the way down to tiny things like what the Scouts call themselves.
it’s all so fucking petty — and, as always, embarrassing.
other countries are laughing at us, when they’re not recoiling in horror.
when these shitsticks leave office, there are going to be so many broken pieces to glue back together. please don’t scream at the next Democratic president when they don’t have everything fixed after three months. it’s going to take years.
let’s go out on a high note. you may think you already know everything there is to know about Mark Kelly. he’s a veteran. a devoted husband. a patriot. a senator. an astronaut. hell, dude’s even worn a gorilla suit in space.
but here’s another thing you may not know about Mark Kelly: he’s a skateboard whiz.
I shit you not. here’s Mark back in 2022, at the Navajo Nation Parade. check out these moves.
look at Mark go! let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
now let’s compare and contrast.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
