A Different Kind Of Triptych
OMG!
From Mock Paper Scissors:
OK, guys, this is gross and I’m sorry/not sorry to be writing about it, but it is important.
Yikes – no wonder the DOJ is scrambling to tell us not to believe what’s in the files about Trump.
www.mediaite.com/media/news/o…
— The Tennessee Holler (@thetnholler.bsky.social) December 23, 2025 at 6:50 AM
CNN has more on the Epstein-Nassar letter here, but here’s the important part:
“Dear L.N.,” the letters reads, “As you know by now, I have taken the ‘short route’ home. Good luck! We shared one thing … our love and caring for young ladies and the hope they’d reach their full potential. Our President also shares our love of young, nubile girls.” The letter makes another lewd reference to Trump’s treatment of women.
“Life is unfair,” the letter reads.
Q: is “I have taken the ‘short route’ home” some sort of euphemism saying he was killing himself?
Merde-a-Lardo itself was subpoena’ed:
Prosecutors subpoenaed Mar-a-Lago for employment records in Maxwell case
The Mar-a-Lago club was subpoenaed to produce documents in the case of United States v. Ghislaine Maxwell on Nov. 29, 2021, according to a copy of the subpoena included in the new files.
The subpoena demanded “Any and all employment records relating to [redacted].”
It is not clear who appeared on the club’s behalf.
Maxwell, a longtime associate of Epstein, was convicted of sex trafficking in 2021 and is serving a 20-year prison sentence.
“The FBI received a tip in October 2020 that appears to be from an unidentified female who said she had information about a ‘Jeffrey Epstein party’ in 2000. The person’s information is redacted in the FBI’s summary of the tip, which is included in the new files.”
“The woman alleged that someone named Ghislaine Lisa Villeneuve brought her to the party. Later, someone said that Donald Trump had invited everyone to Mar-A-Lago, according to the tipster.”
And here’s the document itself embedded as an image in this tweet.
Meanwhile, Morning Joe is carrying water for his old pal:
Scarborough: “Trump is not on Epstein’s list. There’s nothing in there really damning about Trump or Bill Clinton. So one of the great mysteries is not what Trump’s hiding, it’s why if he’s not in the files – which all the reporting says he’s not – why is he so obsessed on blocking access to them?”
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) December 22, 2025 at 7:21 AM
But Will He Ever Face Any Accountability For It?
Quote Of The Day
Keep Reminding Yourself…
AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT
You’re not fooling anyone.
Monday Tiedrich
it may be Christmas Week in America, but dumbfuckery never takes a day off. yesterday was so chock full of stupid that who even knows where to start? we’re just going to have to spin the Big Wheel of Moron once again, and see where it lands. ready? here we go.
oh, lucky us. the damned thing landed on Vice President Couchfuck McGee.
is there some kind of Nobel Prize for being repellent? could we get FIFA maybe to work on one? because our favorite furniture fornicator would be a lock to win such a thing — hands-down, year after year.
Couchfuck was at Turning Point’s ‘Americafest’ yesterday. check out the word-adjacent mouth-sounds that seeped out of the doughy pantload’s face.
“in the United States of America you don’t have to apologize for being white anymore.”
oh, thank god. finally — all those centuries of oppression are over for white people.
what the fuck is JD gibbering about? ‘I can’t believe I had to apologize for being white,’ said no white person ever — because it’s not a thing.
white people have been at the top of America’s food chain since day one — and yet, no one ever went broke selling MAGA on the fever-swamp fantasy that it’s the white people who are the real victims. it’s the easiest grift in the world. just tell these shitwits that all their problems are the fault of immigrants, or women, or the transgendered, and they’ll shut their brains and open their wallets.
Couchfuck’s Hindu wife Usha sure looks thrilled to be married to a guy who eagerly tossed away his reputation as a well-respected author and embraced his inner Nazi.
wow, CBS’ flagship news show 60 Minutes is doing a segment on that notorious Salvadoran slave-labor gulag that Donny’s fascist thugs have been disappearing innocent immigrants into.
check out the trailer.
“it began as soon as the planes landed. the deportees thought they were headed from the US back to Venezuela — but instead, they were shackled, paraded in front of cameras, and delivered to CECOT, the notorious maximum security prison in El Salvador, where they told 60 Minutes they endured four months of hell.”
holy shit, this looks awesome. Donny’s massive abuse of human rights is an important story, and we should all be looking forward to seeing it.
oh no, wait, we can’t see it — because hours before it was set to air yesterday evening, CBS yanked the episode from their broadcast schedule.
what the actual fuck?
here’s the actual fuck: the decision to shitcan the segment was made by Bari Weiss, the MAGAfied head of CBS News.
CBS announced the change three hours before the broadcast, a highly unusual last-minute switch. The decision was made after Bari Weiss, the new editor in chief of CBS News, requested numerous changes to the segment. CBS News said in a statement that the segment would air at a later date and “needed additional reporting.”
Bari was just doing the job that her corporate overlords at Paramount had hired her to do: ensure that anything critical of Dear Leader never sees the light of day.
But Sharyn Alfonsi, the veteran “60 Minutes” correspondent who reported the segment, rejected that criticism in a private note to CBS colleagues on Sunday, in which she accused CBS News of pulling the segment for “political” reasons.
no shit, the segment was pulled for political reasons. that’s the whole reason Bari Weiss was hired — to pull CBS News all the way to the extreme right, turning it into a sort of Fox News for people who know which fork is for salad.
even the once-respected Margaret Brennan has now been reduced to carrying water for Donny’s sewer clowns.
here’s Brennan yesterday, defending the DOJ’s Dead Pedo Bestie Files fuckery — and insulting the intelligence of her guests, Ro Khanna and Thomas Massie.
“this isn’t everything you asked for just yet, but would you acknowledge that they are complying with the spirit if not the intent of your law?”
oh come the fuck on, how can Brennan even ask such a question?
Jake Tapper, can you come in here for a second and show us what the Brennan considers ‘complying with the spirit of the law’?
the pre-Weiss Brennan would have never taken Donny’s side on any issue. she would have nailed Pam Bondi to the wall and ripped her several new one. but she’s now traded her reputation as a serious journalist for a handful of Paramount’s magic beans. I hope it was worth it, Meg.
Weiss, CBS News and their new overlords at Paramount are being short-sighted — because when all this is over, we’re not going to forgive the institutions that failed us.
fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how CBS slobbered all over Dear Leader’s shoes?’
the institutions we’re going to look back on with admiration will be the ones who stood up said ‘take your fascist bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’
and we’re going to fucking well remember who the cowards were.
oh look, Bari Weiss isn’t finished with us. apparently, she wants to play a round of ‘easy questions, easy answers.’
“has feminism failed women?”
no. fuck no.
but CBS News has failed us all. congratulations, Bari, you’ve clownfucked CBS into irrelevancy.
now let’s sit back for an episode of Gas Leak Theater with Ezra Klein and The New York Times.
“In @nytopinion: ‘A year ago, we kept hearing that Trump was cool. Is anyone saying that now?’ the columnist Ezra Klein writes.”
excuse me, who was saying Donny was cool, aside from Ezra Klein and his dipshit colleagues in the chattering class? was MAGA saying Donny’s cool? no one fucking listens to them. they wear diapers.
Ezra, you need to get out more. go talk to some real people for a change.
being a Times pundit must be the sweetest gig in the multiverse. it doesn’t matter how wrong you are. it doesn’t matter if your premise is as bone-headed as they come. just shit out whatever comes to mind, and boom! you’re a legend.
remember this abomination?
that was nine and a half years ago. Maureen Dowd still has her job, shitting her drek all over the Times op-ed page. yeah, let’s ask all those Venezuelan sailors how dovish Donny is. oh wait, we can’t.
but I digress. let’s address Ezra Klein’s premise, that Preznit Fuckwit is cool.
tell me, Ezra, is this cool?
maybe — just maybe — if you’re one of those invisible giraffes Donny never tires of jerking off, it’s cool. otherwise? yeesh.
now here’s cool:
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Vomiting It All Up
Sunday Tiedrich
We the People are being shit on again.
it was bad enough when Friday’s deadline came and went without Donny Convict’s corrupt Department of Justice releasing the full Epstein Files, as they were required to by law.
it was bad enough when the DOJ served us a slice of Go Fuck Yourself Pie by releasing less than one percent of the documents in their possession.
it was bad enough when hundreds upon hundreds of the documents they didrelease were completely blacked out and unreadable.
it was bad enough when it became obvious that what was released had been carefully curated to ensure there were almost zero references to Dear Leader.
but things just got a whole lot worse — because these lawless fucks are now memory-holing the shit they did release.
NEW YORK (AP) — At least 16 files disappeared from the Justice Department’s public webpage for documents related to Jeffrey Epstein — including a photograph showing President Donald Trump — less than a day after they were posted, with no explanation from the government and no notice to the public.
stuff that was already on line is now disappearing — ‘with no explanation’ — because fuck you, that’s why. what part of ‘memory hole’ do you need explained to you?
fortunately for us, the internet never forgets — so we can give you at least one explanation:
someone done fucked up and accidentally posted a photo of Dear Leader posing with bikini-clad teenagers.
here’s ‘photo 468’ from the original collection that was posted on Friday.
let’s zoom in on the bottom left of that pic.
oh my. some bleary-eyed FBI Special Agent who’d spent a month working 20-hour days, scouring every photo for appearances of Dear Leader, missed this one.
photo 468 is now gone. if you click on the directory listing for it, you get an error message.
hey, it’s pretty weird how Jeffrey Epstein kept photos of Donny with teenage girls in his desk drawer, isn’t it? you don’t suppose Donny’s dead pedo bestie was planning on using that shit as kompromat, do you?
all these people fucking suck.
here’s another photo that got scrubbed from the DOJ web site.
why? this photo has been in the public domain for years. we’ve all seen it a hundred times.
meanwhile, Donny’s minions are doing their best to smear Bill Clinton as the real criminal in the Epstein Saga. they front-loaded the first batch of the Dead Pedo Bestie Files with as many photos of Bill as they could.
here’s White House Deputy Press Secretary Abigail Johnson, gleefully implying that Clinton and Michael Jackson were cavorting with ‘victims and/or minors.’
“Per the Epstein Files Transparency Act, DOJ was specifically instructed only to redact the faces of victims and/or minors. Here is a picture of Bill Clinton with his arm around Michael Jackson, and redacted individuals.”
for fuck’s sake, this photo doesn’t even have anything to do with Jeffrey Epstein. it’s Clinton with Michael Jackson and his children, and Diana Ross and her son, taken at a fundraiser in DC in 2003.
look, if Bill Clinton was doing sick shit with minors, nail his ass to the wall. chuck him the fuck into prison and throw away the key. I don’t think you’ll find one person on the left who would say anything different. but don’t you dare gun up fake evidence.
that’s the difference between us and them. we want justice, no matter where the chips fall. they want Dear Leader protected at all costs.
tell me, when Donny sent that birthday card to his dead pedo bestie with the poem about the ‘wonderful secrets they shared,’ do you think this is what he was talking about?
here’s another question: do words even have meanings any more? I ask, because look at the twaddle Pam Bondi posted to Elon’s Nazi Bar. she’s proud of her fuckery. she’s calling the release of heavily-redacted documents ‘transparency.’
President Trump is leading the most transparent administration in American history.
By moving to unseal these documents, we hope to give the American people more answers about that fateful day in Butler, Pennsylvania. https://t.co/v7iH9sfpiW
— Attorney General Pamela Bondi (@AGPamBondi) December 20, 2025
cool story, Pam. let’s fact-check your claim of ‘transparency.’
congratulations are in order — because Pam’s outdone George Orwell.
to ‘war is peace,’ ‘ignorance is strength,’ and ‘freedom is slavery,’ we can now add ‘censorship is transparency.’
look at what else these DOJ fucksticks did: they forced Jake Tapper to commit a journalism. he hates it when he has to do that shit.
come on, people. Jake doesn’t want to be scrolling though his phone, showing you redacted files. he’s got sixteen more books to write about how Joe Biden is icky and old and smells bad and probably doesn’t even realize that he’s already dead.
“talk about blacking out, I don’t know if we can get a close-up of my phone. this is one of the documents that the Justice Department released. it’s a hundred pages. this is what it looks like. it’s all black. it’s just one hundred pages of redaction. that’s the ‘transparency’ we’re getting here.”
let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
Pam Bondi’s DOJ was required by law — one that Dear Leader signed — to release everything by December 19. there were no if, and, or buts. the law didn’t say if it was too hard to get the job done in time — let’s say because there were so many references to Donny that had to be scrubbed — they get a mulligan.
they’re not supposed to crap out some unreadable tiny fraction of the files and pinky-swear to release the rest of it any day now.
oh, look at me — flapping my futile gums about what these shitstains aren’tsupposed to do.
they’re not supposed to slap Dear Leader’s name on the Kennedy Center. they’re not supposed to detain US citizens for the crime of having the wrong color skin. they’re not supposed to have the military occupy American cities. and they’re sure as fuck not supposed to murder Venezuelan sailors for the high crime of being in a boat.
unfortunately, legal accountability for suppressing the Dead Pedo Bestie Files is going to be hard to come by. sure, Congress could submit a criminal referral for obstruction of justice — but do you know who any such referral would be sent to? Pam Bondi. good luck with that.
but here’s one workable option that’s already on the table: impeach the living shit out of Bondi.
“DEVELOPING: Reps. Ro Khanna and Thomas Massie say they’re drafting articles of impeachment against AG Pam Bondi over the illegal handling of the Epstein files. This just escalated fast. Accountability is coming.”
sounds like a plan.
hey Pam, you want to avoid that? fine, here’s all you have to do: release the full, unedited Epstein Files, you fucking liar.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
WT Actual F?
Fuck This Bullshit
She’s not called Bullshit Barbie for nothin’ ya know…
The Week In Stupid
monday: ’tis the season to be batshit
Christmas is mere days away, so let’s take a peek into the MAGAsphere and see how they’ve been decking their halls.
now there’s a role model.
‘look darlings, it’s Dear Leader’s mug shot.’
what’s a mug shot, mommy?
‘it’s the photo they took of Dear Leader the day he was arrested in Fulton County, Georgia, for election fraud.’
what’s election fraud, mommy?
MAGA, I beg of you — please don’t do this to your children. they’re young and innocent. don’t fill their heads with your psychotic hero worship. give them the space to grow up and make their own mistakes. they don’t need to repeat yours. trust me, it will be fewer hours spent in therapy when they’re adults.
hey, you know who else headed up a cult that encouraged its children to worship in front of loyalty shrines of their supreme leader? of course you do.
tuesday: don we now our what kind of apparel
perhaps MAGA’s spiritual leaders have a better handle on the true holiday spirit. let’s check in with Pastor Hank Kunneman and see how he’s been ’tis-the-seasoning.
“how ’bout when he told the disciples and said ‘hey, go tell Herod, the fox.’ now that word, ‘fox,’ was not ‘oh, go tell that sly guy,’ no, the literal translation of ‘sly fox’ is basically someone who is bisexual. I’ve heard some people use the word faggot — that it literally meant to call out Herod’s sexual immorality.”
oh lovely, Pastor Hank has conjured up Homophobic Slur Jesus — the one who filled his supplicants’ ears with hateful crap like ‘don’t love thy neighbor, that shit’s gay as fuck.’
now, I freely admit that I’m no religious scholar. I don’t know dick about if Herod had a hankering for dicks. maybe Pastor Hank knows something I don’t. so I googled it, just to make sure — because I’m a responsible journalist and everything.
“how ’bout when he told the disciples and said ‘hey, go tell Herod, the fox.’ now that word, ‘fox,’ was not ‘oh, go tell that sly guy,’ no, the literal translation of ‘sly fox’ is basically someone who is bisexual. I’ve heard some people use the word faggot — that it literally meant to call out Herod’s sexual immorality.”
oh lovely, Pastor Hank has conjured up Homophobic Slur Jesus — the one who filled his supplicants’ ears with hateful crap like ‘don’t love thy neighbor, that shit’s gay as fuck.’
now, I freely admit that I’m no religious scholar. I don’t know dick about if Herod had a hankering for dicks. maybe Pastor Hank knows something I don’t. so I googled it, just to make sure — because I’m a responsible journalist and everything.
wednesday: deck the halls with boughs of wait a minute
fuck these young upstarts like Pastor Hank. they’re too steeped in MAGA to be of any use to anyone. let’s go old-school, and see what Franklin Graham’s been up to.
here’s the Frankster, giving a pep talk at the Department of War (his words, not mine).
“but did you know that God also hates? do you know that God also is a God of war? many people don’t want to think about that.”
oh for fuck’s sake, it’s Christmas time. what kind of ’tis-the-seasonmessaging is that?
come on bro, that’s the old testament god, the one who hates. yeah, he’s a bit of a dick, always raining down plagues and smiting the shit out of his enemies and whatnot.
why is Franklin Graham harshing our mellow with that shit? that’s not what Christmas is all about. bro, we’re doing Jesus this month. you know, the new testament guy. the ‘prince of peace’ who threw all that hate stuff out the window. the feed-the-poor-and-help-the-needy homey. the love-thy-neighbordude. get with the program already, Frank.
I’m a Jew, dammit. how did it become my job to explain to these shitkazoos how Christianity works? this is way beyond my pay-grade.
oh, and I’ve got a news flash for Reverend Graham — it’s not the Department of War. it’s the Department of Flipping a Skateboard Into Your Own Nuts.
thursday: troll the ancient yule-tide excuse me now?
this is getting frustrating. doesn’t anyone in the MAGAverse understand the true meaning of Christmas?
oh wait — here’s the Department of Homeland security with a surprisingly appropriate and heartfelt message: ‘go home for the holidays.’
awwww, isn’t that sweet? how nice that— [taps earpiece] hang on, I’m being told that if you click the link in that tweet, it takes you to a page for ‘self-deporting.’
fuck me, are you serious with this shit?
can’t you racists give your hateful bullshit a rest for one week? is that really too much to ask?
come on, it’s Christmas. the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus, the immigrant with the Spanish name who, if he left the door open and you said to him, ‘hey Jesus, were you born in a barn?’ he would literally answer yes.
no one encouraged Joseph and Mary to click the link to self-deport. if they did, we wouldn’t even have a fucking holiday.
look at me. once again, it’s the Jew who has to explain Christmas. is the whole world on crazy pills?
but they pinky-swore that they would make some Pedo Files available by the end of the day.
the fucking idiot then went ahead and had his accursed name added to the Kennedy Center building — despite being prohibited by law from doing so.
and because apparently no one in the White House understands how grammar works, the name of the building is now The Donald J. Trump And The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts.
my god, they’re all just as fucking idiotic as the fucking idiot.
you know who else appropriated a beloved cultural institution and made it a monument to his own vanity, don’t you? of course you do.
oh look! the DOJ actually released a handful of Dead Pedo Bestie files — which was awesome, except for the part where hundreds upon hundreds of pages were completely redacted.
thank you so much, DOJ!
by the way, while every other news outlet was poring over the Dead Pedo Bestie Files, here’s what Fox News was covering.
the fucking idiot then boarded Idiot Force One to spend Christmas Week at his vermin-infested Florida golf model.
on the way down to Motel-a-Lago, he stopped in off in North Carolina to give a very dignified and presidential speech, during which he waxed romantic about his Slovenian rent-a-wife’s panties.
and not one worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled media stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
And Another Week Draws To A Close
“I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. what could it cost? ten dollars?”
— Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development
never underestimate the ability of Donny Convict’s toadies to be both evil and buffoonish at the same time.
yesterday, the crackpots in charge of healthcare — Bobby Brainworms and the Shitblizzard of Oz — announced that they were banning gender-affirming care for minors. that’s the evil part.
now get ready for the clownfuckery. here’s Oz, uttering a sentence you probably never thought you’d hear during an official government press event.
“shockingly, a phalloplasty, the creation of a penis, costs on average in America, according to this data, high quality, $150,000 per child. these prices have continued to increase with increasing manufactured demand … you add testicles, that’s extra.”
apparently, the price of peeners is on the rise. who even knew penis inflationwas a thing? and not the fun kind of penis inflation. is this something we can blame on Sleepy Joe Biden?
a hundred and fifty grand for a weenus — a high-quality weenus, at that. because who wants a low-quality unit? spare no expense, I say! who wants people going ‘what the fuck is that’ every time you drop trou?
but come on — let’s get real. who’s paying retail for penises?
look, everyone knows someone. if you really need a trouser hog that bad, there’s always a guy who can hook you up.
even Marjorie Three Toes Greene knows where to find a dick.
and don’t get me started on Handy Oakley.
this pathological obsession Republicans have about what inside everyone’s underwear is downright creepy.
so now they’re meddling with gender-affirming care. why? because fuck you, that’s why. because they can. because they’re terrified of the very idea of anyone who isn’t straight, white and cis.
none of these hatemongers have the slightest idea what they’re talking about. listen to Whalehead McChainaw, droning on about shit that’s way beyond his ability to comprehend.
“So-called gender affirming care has inflicted lasting physical and psychological damage on vulnerable young people,” Kennedy said. “This is not medicine. It is malpractice.”
you’ll be shocked to learn that actual medical professionals were all ‘shut your ignorant mouth, Bobby.’
The American Academy of Pediatrics pushed back strongly against HHS’s actions.
“These policies and proposals misconstrue the current medical consensus and fail to reflect the realities of pediatric care and the needs of children and families,” said AAP President Dr. Susan J. Kressly.
over to you, Charlotte Clymer, to explain what’s really going on here.
“The science behind gender-affirming care has been endorsed by every major medical organization. This isn’t about science or medicine. It’s about the discomfort many non-trans people feel over the *existence* of trans people.”
exactly. I’m so tired of being ruled over by a fucktangle of bigoted know-nothings, inflicting their own childish insecurities on the rest of us.
why is anyone even listening to nut-jobs like Brainworms and Oz? why are they using the price of something as an excuse to set policy? they’re out of touch. they’re morbidly wealthy shitwits who have no idea what anythingshould cost.
gender-affirming care is not the healthcare issue our government needs to be focusing on right now. here’s a real problem that’s in dire need of solving:
there’s a measles epidemic in this country right now. measles, for fuck’s sake. an easily-preventable disease which we had already eradicated in America.
thanks in no small part to Bobby Brainworms’ own crackpot notions about vaccines, we now have almost 2,000 actives cases of the measles in the US right now. that’s up from nearly zero just a few years ago — and the number is increasing every day.
isn’t doing something about that more important than fixating over what’s going on inside some teenager’s underwear?
please leave these people alone. just let them be who they want to be.
let me highlight just how much we’re being governed by crackpots. here’s a fun fact about Dr. Oz. did you know that he considers himself a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to guzzling piss?
Dr. Mehmet Oz once claimed that medical schools force prospective doctors to drink human urine as part of their training. In an old interview with late-night host Jimmy Kimmel that resurfaced over the weekend, the GOP’s Senate nominee in Pennsylvania elaborated on a seemingly lifelong personal fascination with all things pee.
Oz elaborated in his interview with Kimmel, saying that urine can be helpful to diagnose various illnesses and conditions. “A diabetic’s [urine] tastes like wine, cherry wine,” Oz told a bewildered Kimmel.
fact check: what the fuck is Oz talking about?
No medical school requires students to taste urine, unlike what Dr. Oz may have said previously.
— Zachary Rubin, MD (@rubin_allergy) October 16, 2022
yet Oz is out here tossing back tankards of fresh bladder juice like it’s going out of style, and acting as if it were perfectly normal.
speaking of dumbfucks who have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to healthcare policy, look at what our Crackpot-in-Chief is up to.
reporter: “more than 20 million Americans are now bracing for their premiums to skyrocket.”
Donny: “they will skyrocket because it was never any good.”
healthcare is a mess in this country because Donny doesn’t actually want to fix anything. he loves it when shit goes sideways. he’s a chaos-junkie who gets off on breaking everything, and then blaming it on someone else.
fixing shit is hard. bread-and-circuses dumbfuckery is easy — and Donny’s come up with a perfectly useless spectacle that he hopes will distact us all from how fucked up everything is.
“in the fall we will host the first ever Patriot Games, an unprecedented four-day athletic event featuring the greatest high school athletes — one young man and one young woman from each state and territory.”
now hold on there just one goddamned minute.
if the idea of ‘American teenagers from each state competing against each other for the amusement of a government of obscenely wealthy autocrats who rule over a nation of poverty-stricken peons’ sounds familiar to you, that’s because it’s the premise of the dystopian novel (and movie) The Hunger Games.
except in The Hunger Games, the teenagers battle each other to the death.
oh shit, I probably shouldn’t even say that out loud. let’s not give Dear Leader any ideas.
lastly, happy Dead Pedo Bestie Files Release Day to all who observe.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Profile In Courage
DAMN IT!
I knew this was too good to be true. If it had really happened it would’ve been all over the media.
From Snopes.com:
The rumor, however, was false. Cassella did not say what the posts claimed she did, and the interaction never took place. There was no watermark on the image most widely spread so it is not clear what social media account made the original claim, but the earliest post we could find appeared on Dec. 4.
We reached out to CNBC seeking comment on the alleged incident, and we will update this story if we receive a response.
Cassella, who was as of this writing a reporter for CNBC covering business and politics, posted on X in September 2025 (archived) that she was beginning her maternity leave, which would last through the end of the year. Her Sept. 19 post was the most recent post available on her X page, and her most recent publication on the CNBC website, as of this writing, was dated Sept. 11.
A Google search of the keywords “Sir, you are the president, not God,” revealed only posts or fact-checks related to the false rumor:
Vomiting It All Up
Thursday Tiedrich
what. the fuck. was that?
here’s what we were promised: a prime-time address to the nation, in which the President of the United States would soberly tout his achievements of the past year, and lay out his agenda for the future.
here’s what we got: some high-as-fuck shitwit, gibbering a mile a minute, gripping the podium for dear life, and barking out a non-stop barrage of obvious lies and nonsensical numbers.
“I negotiated directly with the drug companies, foreign nations, which were taking advantage of our country for many decades, to slash prices on drugs and pharmaceuticals by as much as four hundred, five hundred, and even six hundred percent. in other words, your drug costs will be plummeting downward.”
math, how does it work?
clearly, Donny and his handlers are in full panic mode. his approval numbers are in the shitter — so much so that even his own party is beginning to openly defy him. even Fox News can’t hide how toxic Donny’s become.
the magic is gone. no one but the braindeadest of his cultists believe his fever-swamp lies any more. I’m sorry, but you just can’t convince anyone who actually has to shop for groceries that prices are going down.
so what does Preznit Fuckwit do? he decides to go on TV and lie harder, and louder.
everything — and I mean everything — that came out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth last night was a lie. he once again claimed to have ended eight wars. he hasn’t. he claimed tariffs have already brought eighteen trillion dollars into the US. they haven’t. he claimed things are already more affordable. ha fucking ha. he claimed everyone’s getting a tax cut. has he even read his own Big Stupid Bill?
the NY Times’ White House reporter pretty much threw in the towel
investigative journalist Adam Cochran actually did a fact-check, on not-twitter. look at this encyclopedia-length screed.
the big question of the night, though, was ‘what the fuck was Donny on?’ — because he was obviously hopped up on something. he seemed ready to jump out of his skin.
clearly, Donny’s handlers didn’t want him up there looking haggard and worn out, as he pretty much always does these days — but they over-corrected.
who knows what they pumped Dear Leader full of, but it was as if the squirrels that live inside Donny’s head were having a cocaine-fueled orgy.
so there was Little Donny Motormouth, yammering away at top speed — so much so that what should have been a half-hour speech was over in just about under eighteen minutes.
when all was said and done, experts agreed: what the fuck was that?
isn’t it heartening when Republicans and Democrats can reach across the aisle to shake hands and agree that Dear Leader is crazier than a shithouse rat?
tell me, is it bad when your own party knows you’ve shit the bed?
“Why is he yelling at us?” conservative talk radio host Erick Erickson said on X.
Said right-wing blogger Matt Walsh on X: “That was perhaps the most pointless prime time presidential address ever delivered in American history.”
is it worse when your cultists think you’re stark barking bonkers?
“Trump is speaking so fast he seems panicked,” supporter Trisha Hope posted online. “I’ve never seen him like this, and I have attended 42 of his rallies.”
High energy, great delivery, grand slam, home run on making the case that the best is yet to come.
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) December 18, 2025
what can one even say? the kompromat the have on Old Linz must really be something.
who even knew that Newt Gingrich was still alive? this ancient nitwit is so far past his sell-by date that I don’t think he even knows what planet he’s on.
Gingrich: I believe President Trump showed tonight that he’s prepared to be disciplined… if I were a Democrat, tonight would leave me very unnerved. pic.twitter.com/e73vzXF5CS
— Acyn (@Acyn) December 18, 2025
“I believe President Trump showed tonight that he’s prepared to focus, to be disciplined to communicate — and if I were a Democrat, tonight would leave me very unnerved.”
it’s always fun watch Newt run away from reality as if it were a sick wife in a hospital bed, isn’t it? Democrats aren’t unnerved after watching Donny blither. Democrats are laughing their asses off.
Donny’s in desperate need of a course-correction right now, but going on TV to repeat a bunch of drug-fueled lies isn’t going to do it. everyone who isn’t being paid to pretend otherwise knows he’s full of shit, and is doing nothing to make life easier for We the People.
and things are about to get so much worse.
it was a wild fucking ride in the Holy Mike’s House of Reps yesterday.
The House on Wednesday cleared a Republican health care package, 216-211, that does not extend the expiring Affordable Care Act (ACA) subsidies.
Four moderate Republicans who had earlier Wednesday bucked GOP leaders and signed a Democratic-backed discharge petition voted in favor of the health care package. Rep. Thomas Massie was the only Republican no vote.
the healthcare bill the House passed now goes to the Senate, where it’s expected to die.
as for the discharge petition that now forces a vote on restoring the ACA subsidies, House rules allow Holy Mike to delay the actual voting until after the new year.
Johnson’s assertion came after the four Republicans broke ranks and signed onto House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries’ discharge petition, giving it the 218 signatures needed to force a vote, though that is not likely to occur until January 2026 at the earliest.
which means that for millions of Americans, healthcare is going to become unaffordable after January 1st, when the ACA subsidies expire.
I can’t wait for Donny to go on TV and try to lie his way out of that.
mind you, Holy Mike could hold a vote on restoring the ACA credits right now, if he wanted to — but here’s what he’s doing instead: adjourning the House for the rest of the year, after today’s session.
what’s that thing P.J. O’Rourke used to say? oh right:
“Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.”
here’s the other thing that happened yesterday: FBI Deputy Director Danny Bingobongo quit. officially, he’s leaving after the start of the new year — but apparently, he’s already cleaned out his desk.
Bongino had quietly told confidants he planned to formally leave his job early in the new year and would not be returning to headquarters to work this month, according to eight people briefed on his account. He later confirmed the report on X.
it seems that Danny misses his old life as a grifter and podcast bro.
“Dan did a great job,” Trump told reporters earlier, when asked about reports that Bongino, a former Secret Service agent turned podcaster, planned to resign.
“I think he wants to go back to his show,” the president said.
so, Dan’s desk at FBI headquarters is already gathering dust.
that’s certainly interesting timing, isn’t it? because the Dead Pedo Bestie Files are being released tomorrow — and I don’t know about you, but I’m as giddy with anticipation as a SecDef with a new skateboard.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Midweek Tiedrich
oh look, White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles is a bit of a blabbermouth. who knew?
it seems that over the last eleven months, Overly Talkative Suze has sat for eleven interviews with Vanity Fair’s Chris Whipple, which VF just published in a two-parter here and here.
here’s the beauty part: this Vanity Fair two-parter ain’t some rote, by-the-numbers snoozefest about how honored Susie Wiles is to be working with some of the finest minds yadda yadda yadda zzzzzzzzzzzz.
she actually takes a big stinky shit all over her co-workers.
the Dem Party’s social media team has put together a lovely highlight reel.
so, Donny Convict ‘has an alcoholic’s personality.’ Couchfuck McGee is ‘a conspiracy theorist.’ Pamnesia Pam Bondi has ‘completely whiffed.’ and the Space Nazi is an ‘avowed ketamine user.’
to which I say: tell us something we don’t already know, Suze.
all this is old-hat to anyone who’s been paying attention from the get-go.
Donny assembled his cabinet from a putrid grab-bag of fuckwads and found objects. you’ve got the piss-drunk Fox News dunk-tank clown. the crackpot who keeps a chainsaw in the trunk of his car on the off chance he happens upon into a dead whale. the lady who perforates puppies for fun. and let’s not forget the vice president who molests furniture.
basically, America’s getting a clown show — and not a funny ha ha! clown show. nope, we’re getting sewer clowns.
Donny put zero effort into finding out if any of these shitwits could actually do the jobs he assigned to them — so it is any wonder that the past eleven months have been a master class in incompetence and disaster?
but still — for someone actually inside the White House to shit-talk the people she works with, that’s quite a thing. especially since Dear Leader expects infinite loyalty and obsequious flattery from every single one of his minions.
so, you’d figure the reaction from the White House would be thermonuclear, and that Susie Wiles would already be the former Chief of Staff — but you’d figure wrong. because what happened next is that every sewer clown simultaneously tweeted statements of undying support for Wiles.
it’s almost as if they had been ordered to do it.
I swear, these nitwits can’t even pull off a decent scandal without fucking that shit up. come on, you bozos, you just got insulted to your faces. what about you, Donny? Wiles said you had an ‘alcoholic’s personality.’ she even said you were all over the Epstein files! how did you not throw a shit-fit over that?
look at this. not only did Donny laugh off Wiles’ remarks, he said he agreed with them.
Trump even admitted to having an “alcoholic personality,” which some around the president considered among Wiles’ most incendiary remarks because of the president’s long and well-known aversion to alcohol and his brother’s struggle with alcoholism.
“I’m fortunate I’m not a drinker,” Trump told the New York Post.
what the fuck is going on? did Putin give Susie Wiles a copy of the pee-tape to use as job insurance?
it’s not a silly question — because it seems that Chatty Suzie has been working with Russian oligarchs for since like forever. look at this, from the Byline Times, published a year ago.
Trump’s newly appointed Chief of Staff, Susie Wiles, brings a complex political profile, with ties to Russian oligarchs and Chinese surveillance firms.
Before joining Trump’s 2024 campaign, Wiles was a co-chair at a firm that lobbied for sanctioned individuals and companies. A lobbyist who recommended Wiles to lead US President-Elect Donald Trump’s campaign represented a Russian-born oligarch connected to the Russian President Vladimir Putin and a state-owned oil corporation Rosneft.
Wiles’ ex-husband has ties to a Kremlin-linked lobbyist known for attending the 2016 Trump Tower meeting, where “dirt” on Clinton was offered on the Russian Government’s behalf. Wiles’ daughter failed the White House background check.
that’s all pretty convenient. what does Susie know, and why is her job being protected? and who is she really working for? as always with All Things Donny, there are a thousand questions, and zero satisfying answers.
Wiles, for her part, says that all her shit-talking has been taken out of context. so unfair! so unfair!
“Significant context was disregarded and much of what I, and others, said about the team and the President was left out of the story.”
Chris Whipple, by the way, says all of his interviews with Wiles are on tape.
so tell us, Suze — what is the ‘significant context’ missing from your statement that the Space Nazi is an ‘avowed ketamine user’? was it part of a larger narrative talking about how much fun it was to watch him get higher than two kites and pilot Forkship One all over the patio at Motel-a-Lago?
inquiring minds want to know.
Kaitlin Collins: “on affordability, the president is going to address the nation tomorrow night. he says he’s going to talk about basically what a great year we’ve had since he returned to office. do you want to hear him say there’s no inflation, like he did last week, which is not true.”
Greene: “it’s not true … inflation has steadied around 2.5 percent, so he can’t say there’s no inflation. however, what I would like to see from the president is empathy for Americans. Donald Trump is a billionaire, and he’s the president of the United States. when he looks into a camera and says ‘affordability is a hoax,’ and totally tries to make nothing out of inflation, he’s talking to Americans that are suffering and have been suffering for many years now, and are having a hard time making ends meet. so that’s not the right message to tell Americans.”
look at Sporky. all of a sudden she’s articulate. what happened to the buffoon who used to prattle about ‘peach tree dishes’ and ‘gazpacho police’?
almost three years ago, I wrote a post in which I speculated that Three Toes might actually be only pretending to be a moron.
holy shit, what if I was right? after all, there’s a long tradition of Republicans who act dumb as mud, in order to pander to their dumb-as-mud constituents. look no further than Louisiana Senator John “Not The Good John” Kennedy, who is an actual Rhodes Scholar, yet talks in an exaggerated mush-mouth drawl, as if he were a toothless turnip farmer. I guess now that Sporky is leaving office, she no longer feels the need to play-act.
but you know what? fuck Madge Three Toes and fuck her so-called rehabilitation tour. she’s still garbage.
look at how she’s spending her final two weeks in Congress.
The Protect Children’s Innocence Act, introduced by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., would make it a federal felony for doctors to provide certain forms of medical care related to gender transition for minors, including puberty blockers and hormone therapy. The bill could also expose parents and guardians to potential criminal liability for facilitating that care.
fuck off, Madge. stop pretending you’ve changed.
now we need to talk about Preznit Fuckwit — because he’s not faking being an imbecile. he’s the real deal — as fucking dumb as they come.
Donny gave another rambling mess of a speech yesterday, and — well, you have to hear it to believe it.
“they can fly those things. the way they can aim it at a— target. in the dark of night, the darkest you’ve ever seen. they want it to be as dark as possible. they didn’t want anything— and the only time anybody could see those planes was when those bomb chutes open up. because it becomes totally un-stealth when it goes— I explained that to Mark Levin once. you’re going in, you go like this, and as soon as it goes likes this, for some reason the plane is totally visible, not good. and I watched it happening. just— it’s like I’m sitting home watching, you know, it’s amazing, the Situation Room is an amazing place. but I watched them go BING-BING. it went BING-BING. and two massive hundred-thousand-pound bombs come pouring out. and the job they did was incredible.”
he’s so childishly stupid — and this wasn’t a one-off. Donny’s been insisting for years that stealth bombers are actually invisible.
Donny can’t get it through his thick skull that that stealth bombers are called stealth bombers because they can fly without being detected by radar. he honestly thinks you can’t see them. and not only does this gibbering lunatic believe this fever-swamp nonsense — he claims to have witnessed it first hand.
where did Donny see these big strong stealth bombers with tears in their eyes, that go ‘BING-BING’ in the dark of night, the darkest you’ve ever seen, dark like no one thought possible?
do you think maybe one reporter could ask about that? here’s another good question the press might want to ask: what the fuck is wrong with you?
and, lastly it looks like we’re going to war with Venezuela.
we know the Mad King is serious, because he THANKS Venezuela FOR THEIR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
what ‘land’ is this gibbering lunatic talking about, that he demands Venezuela return to America? the United States has never ‘owned’ land in Venezuela. where is this nonsense coming from? he’s fucking insane.
all this, two days before the Dead Pedo Bestie Files are due to be released. how convenient is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
A Few From Around The Web…
Vile Doesn’t Even Begin To Describe That Orange Piece Of Shit
Personally, I intend to outlive the motherfucker so I can piss on his grave.
I’m Not Holding Out Hope
Dan Quayle was an idiot who proved his idiocy time and time again. Yet Republicans insisted he was a giant, because he fit the warped mold of what they consider leadership (white, male, arrogant, rich, and full of it). It wasn’t until Quayle misspelled “potato” that his political viability came crashing down on him.
It was a nothing moment, really. Quayle didn’t even necessarily get it wrong (“potatoe” is an obsolete alternative spelling). But it was a moment that prompted everyone to see what Quayle’s critics had been saying about him from day one: he was an empty shirted buffoon.
Why am I writing about Dan Quayle of all people? Because as inconsequential as that moment was, as inconsequential as he ended up being, the “potatoe” moment still serves as a case study for something being so on the nose that it finally shattered any illusions (or delusions) that anyone was holding about him. There was really no way to defend his intellect after that; after all, the guy couldn’t even spell “potato.”
That was, of course, a comparatively innocent time. Back then we were still debating whether someone was too full of it and stupid to be President of the United States (or Vice President, as it were). We’ve since been subjected to a President of the United States who can’t spell anything, and can barely speak a coherent sentence, yet his illiteracy isn’t among the thousand most disqualifying things about him. We have a President who is a recently convicted felon, whose entire business empire has been exposed as a long running fraud with thoroughly cooked books, who was found by the courts to have sexually assaulted a woman, who tried to violently overthrow the government of the United States, who has advanced dementia and appears to be dying, who was already rejected once for being the worst President in the history of the United States… and he’s back to being President again?
The bar has been set so low over the past decade that Dan Quayle could never even get the Republican nomination because he’s far too literate – and not nearly evil enough. For some reason, for some utterly psychotic reason, Americans decided to try making the worst person in the world the President, and when that was a disastrous failure, they later decided to make him President again. There’s really nothing that could finally turn Americans against him, right?
But that’s when the on-the-nose last straw comes in. Rob Reiner, a lovely man whose life’s work has inspired millions and whose activism was marked by his dignified approach to it, was tragically murdered by his mentally unwell son. It was one of those moments that has caught everyone off guard. I loved everything about Reiner. But even if you didn’t like anything about Reiner, there’s just no way you’d root for him to go out like this, or anything like this. It’s horrifying, and except for the very fringe of internet trolls, no one was going to find any joy in this awful moment.
Even this so-called President of the United States, who openly despised Rob Reiner and everyone knew it, was surely going to sit this one out, right? This small fraction of a man, even if he was celebrating Reiner’s murder privately, surely had the sense not to say it out loud, right? And even if the Asshole-in-Chief was going to say something negative about Reiner in the wake of his murder, he’d at least… I don’t even know. You just thought that even this worthless husk of a man, whose repugnant behavior has been at its absolute worst of late, just might have stopped at the water’s edge on this one.
But no. This deranged individual occupying the Oval Office, who I’m so angry at right now that I can’t even bring myself to use his name in this article, announced that Rob Reiner got himself murdered by being too angrily opposed to – well, we’re not using his name today.
Where does one even start? Never mind that this insane man… no, you know what? I’m not even going to try to analyze it. I don’t want to know what’s going on in his rotten festering mind, and I no longer care. To hell with him. There’s nothing left to analyze, other than to observe that his dementia appears to be making his worst qualities even worse.
But this isn’t about the man whose name I can’t bring myself to type today. It’s about his supporters. It’s about how, after a decade of warning signs, flashing red lights, loud sirens, and glaringly evil thoughts expressed in exact words, this cretin finally said something that prompted many of his own most prominent supporters to loudly and publicly condemn him. It’s about how this monster finally did something that was so on-the-nose monstrous, his weary supporters could no longer hang in there and pretend it was okay – or even keep it to themselves.
There is no way to predict where this will go next. For all we know, his supporters may well fall back in line with him by the time you’re reading this article. They may even have second thoughts about what the cretin said about Rob Reiner, decide it was justified, and start parroting it themselves. It’s happened before. But yesterday felt different. It was as if they knew their toad god had finally done something so egregious that they knew they weren’t going to be able to credibly defend him on it. For one brief cogent moment on their part, they were as repulsed by this repugnant man as the rest of us have been from the start. Something finally pierced the bubble of delusion that had spent a decade pretending up was down, wrong was right, and the most vile and most destructive man on earth was somehow a classy working class hero.
We’ll see what happens now. But maybe, just maybe, something as simple as a President of the United States publicly gloating derangedly over a political adversary’s murder is finally on the nose enough to jolt his remaining supporters into acknowledging that something is very, very wrong.
Valid Question
Valid Question…
Let’s Face It—He’s A Sociopath, Devoid Of All Human Emotion
on Saturday afternoon, some fuckface obtained a weapon of mass death, just as our founders intended. he took that weapon into Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, and opened fire, just as our founders intended, indiscriminately spraying bullets, just as our founders intended, and sending nine people to the hospital and two to the morgue, just as our founders intended.
the unknown shooter then ran off and, as of this writing, is still at large, just as our founders intended.
terrified students spent the entire night barricaded in their classrooms, just as our founders intended.
it was the 465th mass shooting in America this year, just as our founders intended.
just another fucked-up day in the United States of Guntopia.
before we get to Donny Convict’s disgracefully callous response to this tragedy, here’s how a real president mourns.
Joe Biden: “Students should have the freedom to learn in school without having to fear for their lives. Period. We must never accept senseless violence that leaves families and communities shattered. It pierces the very soul of our nation. We can and must do more to prevent gun violence and save lives. Jill and I are grieving the lives lost and those wounded at Brown University, and we are keeping the victims, their loved ones, and all of Providence in our prayers.”
thank you. I miss this guy every day.
now let’s compare that with the reaction of the diaper-shittingest sociopath ever to befoul the Oval Bordello.
“and, uh. Brown University. great school. great— great, really one of the greatest schools anywhere in the world. things can happen.”
first of all, excellent job on the makeup, Mister President. my compliments to your embalmer.
uh, this fucking guy. not one single shred of humanity. just a dispassionate, monotone ‘things can happen.’ Donny puts more emotion into talking about Arnold Palmer’s dick.
we got the same fucked-up response last month, as Donny sat next to the Crown Prince of Bone Saw Arabia and rationalized away the murder of Jamal Khashoggi: ‘things happen.’
this isn’t how a president talks. this is how a mob boss talks.
the shit Donny says makes so much more sense if you imagine it coming out of the mouth of Tony Soprano. ‘so, some kids got shot up? some journalist got bone-sawed? hey, things happen. now leave me alone, can’t you see I’m busy?’
but at least Donny switches it up every now and then. when schoolchildren were gunned down in their classrooms in Perry, Iowa, he didn’t tell us that ‘things happen.’ instead it was ‘we have to get over it.’
thank you for your wise counsel, Preznit Fuckwit.
Donny could give a shit about what happens to other people. he’s too broken-inside to even fake a proper reaction. grief? empathy? what the fuck are those things? he is incapable of a human response to tragedy.
Donny’s handlers have completely given up trying to house-train him.
back in 2018, when Donny met with survivors of the Parkland school shooting, they handed him a cheat-sheet of things to say, so he could at least pretend to give a shit.
they don’t even bother trying to civilize Donny any more. they just shove him in front of the camera and let the chips fall where they may.
so now, all we get is ‘shit happens’ — and then it’s onto the topic on Donny’s list.
unless it’s misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. then we get flags at half staff and an Oval Bordello address.
fuck this fucking fuck.
let’s do a palate cleanse — because this is the perfect moment to watch Secretary of Defense Flippy McCrushnuts do to his thing.
now let’s mock the shit out the rest of yesterday’s press event. here’s a super-fun thing that happened. President No Filters got distracted by a blonde woman standing among the assembled reporters.
“this is the most interesting story. [pointing] boy, do you look like Ivanka. has anyone ever told you that? look at— I’m saying ‘is that Iva—.’ could you just turn around for the camera? does she look— does she look like Ivanka? it’s the most unbelievable thing. I— it’s— I wouldn’t— I didn’t wanna take a chance. I say, ‘is that Ivanka?’ you look just like Ivanka, which is a great compliment.”
ugh. fuck off, you creep.
I’m pretty sure if I were a woman, the last thing I’d want to hear seeping out of Donny’s geriatric anus-mouth would be ‘you remind me of the daughter I want to quote-unquote ‘date.’’
for those of you keeping score at home: if you’re a black woman, it’s ‘shut up, piggy’ — but if you’re a white woman with long blonde hair, it’s ‘come here and let me grope you.’
ugh.
oh, and in case you’re wondering, a loss of sexual inhibition is absolutely one sign of dementia.
oh look, Donny’s Slovenian rent-a-wife was standing next to him the whole time — and boy, does she ever look happy to be there. I’ll bet she’s thrilled whenever her husband starts drooling uncontrollably over every woman who looks like his daughter.
anyway, Donny’s very proud of his plans to shit out an endless series of vulgar monuments, all over Washington DC.
“we have a policy thing that’s gonna— be unbelievable, happening. should I announce it, or should I keep quiet? I put Vince in charge of the Triumphal Arc. we’re building an arc like the Arc de Triomphe… it is something that is so special. it will be like the one in— in Paris but it to be honest with you, it blows it away.”
oh, lovely. Donny’s building an endless series of gaudy totems to himself while We the People struggle to feed our families.
you get two government-approved dolls and five pencils, while Donny gets a fugly arch, a tacky dance hall where the East Wing used to be, three more golf courses, and god knows what else he’s got up his sleeve.
you know who else wanted a ginormous fucking arch to commemorate his glorious Thousand-Year Reich, don’t you? of course you do.
and, finally, what. the. fuck. is. this.
“you heard— did you hear this story? and so, he’s, uh, he’s being read his rites and his— this is— they thought he was dead three times. three different times. they carried him out, feeding him the anti-venom, and over a period of months he was unconscious for a long time, many— weeks. and— he made it. I asked him, ‘how ya doin’ today?’ he said, ‘is it perfect?’ look how quiet everybody is. you know— you know, it’s funny. when you talk about snakes and— things like that. that uhhhhh, people find it interesting. would anybody like to go and— go to Peru and walk around the forest with the— he says ‘no thank you, I’ll say no thank you’— but uh, this was a real— did they ever find the snake, by the way?”
what a charming tale to tell at a White House Christmas reception.
this whole rambling anecdote about snakes is one more five-alarm reminder that President Pudding Cup’s brain has gone fuckity-bye. he can no longer fart out a coherent sentence. and the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press — the very same reporters who turned every one of Joe Biden’s verbal slips into a weeks-long scandal — just stand there like useless lumps.
hey, Jake Tapper — you could probably get three books’ worth of material just from this minute-long clip alone. any interest in following up?
I thought so.
before I let you go, I want to ask: what the fuck is wrong with Greg Bovino?
Obergruppenführer Bovino, you’ll recall, is the psychopath who’s currently ‘commander at large’ for the Border Patrol. I think his official title is Fuckface Who Hurls Tear Gas Canisters At Children And Lies About It To A Judge.
Greggers sure loves him some Nazi cosplay. dude has an entire Third Reich living in his head. I shit you not.
look at how Greg tarted himself up when he showed up on Newsmax yesterday.
so, my question to you is: who wore it better?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Sunday Tiedrich
oh dear, look what Preznit Fuckwit has done now. not satisfied with tarting up the Oval Bordello and the Cabinet Room with vulgar dime-store fake-gold tat, he’s now gluing that shit to the exterior walls of the White House — most recently, above each portrait on his infantile ‘presidential walk of fame.’ you know, the one where Joe Biden is represented by a photo of an autopen.
stay classy, Donny.
and oh look — the entryway to the West Wing now bears signage in the same tasteless golden script that’s outside the Oval Office. does Donny not realize how rinky-dink all this crap makes the White House look? of course he doesn’t. this is what passes for ‘sophisticated’ inside his worm-chewed brain.
hey, do you know who needs to have once-familiar objects labeled for them? dementia patients, that’s who. is that what all this dumbfuckery is about, so Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants doesn’t get confused and wander into traffic while trying to make his way from the Oval Office to the West Wing?
when Donny oozed his way back into power last January, we knew it was going to be a five-alarm shit-show. ‘fucking everything all to hell’ was a low bar, but somehow Dear Leader has managed to slither under it.
in less than a year, Donny has clownfucked the White House — and much of America — into something unrecognizable. and he’s not done — he remains obsessed with taking a massive shit all over literally everything.
The Trump administration issued a notice of default to the group that manages Washington’s three municipal golf courses, escalating a behind-the-scenes struggle over who will control some of the District’s most visible public land and effectively positioning the president to operate its public golf properties.
why? what possible reason could Agolf Shitler have for taking control of Washington’s three public golf courses, other than malignant megalomania?
doesn’t Donny already have enough golf motels? doesn’t he have, you know, a day job that should keep him too busy to have time for this meddlesome shit?
that’s what this micromanaging dipshit is focused on: golf courses, not affordability, not healthcare. not anything that would benefit We the People. because Donny lives inside a fact-free fantasy-bubble where he’s already made everything amazing — and now he’s taken to yelling at MAGA for not understanding how awesome their lives are now.
“When will I get credit for having created, with No Inflation, perhaps the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country? When will people understand what is happening? When will Polls reflect the Greatness of America at this point in time, and how bad it was just one year ago?”
let us know how browbeating your own cultists works out for you, bro. because here’s a free clue: people do ‘understand what is happening.’ every time someone walks into a grocery store and tries to figure out how they’re going to pay for basic necessities, they understand exactly what is happening — and who to blame.
meanwhile, while Donny’s off in cloud-cuckoo land, fiddling with golf courses, his sewer clowns are batshitting at the speed of light.
get ready to pick your jaw up off the floor — because apparently, FBI Director Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel and his flunky, Dan Bingo Bongo Bongino, have been holding secret meetings with Ukraine’s top peace negotiator.
“spark concern” is doing a metric fuckload of heavy lifting in that headline — because think about it: since when does US law enforcement get involved with peace talks, secret or otherwise?
on what planet does this make any sense?
Secret meetings between Ukraine’s top peace negotiator and FBI leaders have injected new uncertainty into the high-stakes talks to end the war there, according to diplomats and officials familiar with the matter.
* * *
The meetings have caused alarm among Western officials who remain in the dark about their intent and purpose.
gee, d’ya think?
who approved this? who thought it was a good idea who take two nitwits with no negotiating skills — or experience — and insert them into the peace process?
Kash and Bongino aren’t even law enforcement experts, much less diplomats they’re grifters and conspiracy-theory podcasters who are in way over their heads.
Krazee-Eyes Kash and Bingo Bongo are running the FBI for the same reason a piss-drunk Fox News dunk tank clown is in charge our nation’s armed forces: because Dear Leader values loyalty over competence.
it’s been that way his entire life. it’s how he ran the Trump Organization — which is why every single one of his business ventures has crashed and burned. Donny doesn’t want experts who might disagree with him, and tell him no. he wants compliant yes-men who will happily rubberstamp whatever fuckbrained scheme he concocts.
and now these two shitwits have inserted themselves into the Ukraine peace process. is the idea to sabotage the whole thing? who even knows?
here’s another bit of fuckwafflery that Donny’s brainiacs have come up with.
that’s right, pal. you want entry into the United States? well then hand over your phone, so Donny’s minions can paw through it and see what you’ve been up to.
It is especially notable that this rule will apply to foreign tourists and visitors from every country, including those where visas are waived. Currently, a British tourist is required to complete the U.S. Electronic System for Travel Authorizations to visit the country, and the social media disclosure would presumably be added directly to this process. However, according to the same notice, foreign travelers will also be expected to surrender other information as well, including all email addresses and phone numbers used in the last five years, as well as the physical addresses, names and contact information of family members.
excuse me?
I don’t know about you, but if I wanted to travel to some country, and was told that first I had to fork over five years of personal data, I’d cordially invite them to eat my entire ass — and then I’d cancel my plans.
no fucking way.
what’s the goal here? to deny entry to anyone who four years ago tweeted ‘Donny is a poopyhead’? or is it to compile a privacy-destroying database of everyone’s personal information?
it’s probably both.
did anyone think this through? implementing this cockamamie idea is going to be a nightmare. the federal government will either need to create a massive new bureaucracy with thousands of civil servants spending hours a day scrolling through millions of social media posts — or, more likely, some fucked-up AI going is going to be turned loose on everyone’s personal data. oh, great. that’s going to be a clusterfuck.
hey, maybe Glenn Beck’s AI George Washington will be pressed into service to keep tabs on all our tik-tok and instagram posts.
is the idea to completely collapse the US tourism industry? spoiler alert: it’s already working.
can anyone explain to me how destroying tourism Makes America Great Again? that shit brings billions of dollars into the United States every year.
EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM YOUR HOST:
END EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM YOUR HOST.
it’s important for us to never forget that none of it is normal.
wearing us down is how fascism wins. we have to keep on top of all of this shit, and ensure none of it gets normalized. it’s fucking exhausting — but necessary.
here’s the good news: Donny is as shit at fascism as he is at running casinos. we’re seeing the wheels coming off Dear Leader’s clown car. the GOP is backing away from his toxic policies, as they lose election after election.
steady on, folks. we’re going to get through this. I promise.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Saturday Tiedrich
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: life, liberty and the pursuit of what in the actual fuck
here’s some nightmare fuel no one asked for — or wanted — but Glenn Beck is inflicting it on us anyway: his ‘interview’ with an AI-generated George Washington.
for some inexplicable reason, AI George (who looks more like AI Gavin Newsom to me) is tarted up in a tight black t-shirt, as if he were some tech-bro version of a founding father.
oh, and excellent job on George’s fingers, Glenn.
but there’s only one thing you need to know about the video: AI George (whose mouth doesn’t match the words coming out of it) is too erudite for a dumbfuck like Beck to understand.
AI George: “if I may speak plainly, my countrymen, the danger, the greatest danger to our republic, lies not in foreign arms or in political faction, but—”
Glenn Beck: “may I interrupt you for a second? could you just dumb it down just a little bit?”
how unfair of Fake George to use big words like ‘countrymen’ and ‘republic.’
I can’t wait until some fuckface comes up with a MAGAfied AI Jesus and uses it to ‘prove’ that ‘blessed are the demented Mad Kings, for they shall shit themselves raw in the Oval Bordello.’
anyway, who needs Glenn Beck’s George Washington when we have Jesse Duquette’s?
tuesday: deck the halls with boughs of what in the actual fuck
look who showed up at this year’s White House Christmas Party: Florida Congresswoman Ann Appalling Lunatic — and she’s brought a friend with her: five-time international lap-hockey champion, Handy Oakley.
questions, as always, abound.
foremost, why is Handy humping Anna’s leg? Handy’s not very big on boundaries, is she. it looks as if she’s just seconds away from giving Anna a vigorous beetlejuicing.
why is Handy always posing like she’s engaging in the world’s oldest profession? she’s standing there as if she were under the gas lamps, luring the farm boys.
is Handy of the impression that the Oval Bordello is an actual bordello?I mean, sure, it’s hard to tell the difference, what with all that vulgar gold-spray-painted tat. but still. come on, woman — you’re embarrassing AI George Washington.
wednesday: have yourself a merry little what in the actual fuck
Fox News has a cheery holiday message for the dunderheads watching at home:
‘oh, were you expecting a nice, live Christmas tree this year? go fuck yourselves, Big Data needs that land for gigantic server farms, so that Glenn Beck can shit out an endless series of fake founding fathers.’
“this server farm is a hundred and fifty acres. yeah, there’s gonna be farms. and there will be transmission lines that have to go through developments. that’s the very nature of a growing economy. like that’s just— everybody needs to get on board. I just don’t— you know what? buy a fake tree.”
for those of you keeping score at home, you are officially allotted five pencils, two dolls and one plastic Christmas tree.
what the fuck kind of messaging is this? ‘you peons should be happy with less, while tech bros are allowed eat up more energy than many entire countries use in a year.’
here’s my reply to Big Data: piss up a rope, pal. you need a server farm? go knock down one of Dear Leader’s shitty golf motels. in fact, flatten all of them. boom — problem solved!
where does this dumbfuckery end? it’s a legit question to ask, because it’s only a short step from telling the cultists to ‘enjoy your fake tree’ to convincing them to willingly become batteries for the Matrix.
come on, loyal patriots — step into the tank. everyone needs to get on board!
thursday: me, myself and what in the actual fuck
oh look — the world’s wealthiest shitwad is out here having a perfectly normal one.
“I’d like to know who the asshole was that came up with the pronouns bullshit in the first place. That dipshit deserves a solid punch in the face.”
gee, the Space Snowflake seems a bit triggered. show us on the doll where pronouns hurt you, bro.
Elon has more money than god. dude could be doing anything in the world, and this is how he chooses to spend his time — hanging out at his own Nazi bar, and airing every single one of his petty grievances. how tiny is that?
since everyone is so into AI this week, let’s waste a few gigawatts on asking one ‘when were pronouns invented?’
look like the Space Nazi is going to have to invent a time machine before he can beat the shit out of the inventor of he, she and it.
you know, there’s only one good response to these fragile shitwits who crap their drawers every time their delicate ears encounter a pronoun — and forgive me for bragging, but I came with it years ago.
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
Friday got off to a great start for some fucking idiot, with the release of super creepy photos from the estate of his dead pedo bestie.
what’s the biggie? who among us hasn’t been photographed with girls whose faces had to be blacked out because they’re all underage victims?
the fucking idiot had a perfectly normal reaction to the news.
President Donald Trump went on a posting spree just minutes after some of the photos from trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s estate were released by Congress.
There were 21 different posts in seven minutes, including memes and videos celebrating Trump and what he paints as his achievements.
the fucking idiot then held some Oval Bordello event, during which he was careful to hide his rotting hand as best he could.
the fucking idiot was ostensibly signing a bill honoring the members of the 1980 Olympic hockey team (why?) — so why the cowboy hats?
what the fuck even is this?
no, seriously — what the fuck?
who wore it better?
then, for the eighth time this month, the fucking idiot insulted a black woman to her face.
and not one worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled media stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Thursday Tiedrich
yesterday, America’s Mad King summoned his royal scribes to the Oval Bordello and proudly announced that ‘it had been an interesting day in terms of news’ (his dumb-ass choice of words, not mine). here’s what was so ‘interesting’: US armed forces had boarded an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela and taken possession of it.
what the fuck? was that an act of war? was it piracy? are we pirates, running around going ‘arrrrrrr, matey, give us your tanker’?
wait — Venezuela is part of the Caribbean. are we the fucking Pirates of the Caribbean now?
Venezuela’s calling it piracy.
US forces have seized an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela, in a major escalation of Donald Trump’s four-month pressure campaign against the South American country’s dictator, Nicolás Maduro, whose government called the seizure “an act of international piracy”.
but look at Donny. he can’t even create an international incident without also pulling on his clown shoes and going buffooning.
“it’s been an interesting day from the standpoint of news. as you probably know, we’ve just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela. large tanker. very large. largest one ever seized, actually.”
can you believe that? Donny actually bragged about the size of the ship.how fragile and needy is that? he can’t even do a simple piracy without going off on a tangent about how it was the greatest piracy off all time. a piracy like no one thought possible. big strong sailors with tears in their eyes were going ‘sir! sir! no one ever boarded us like you did, sir! how do you do it? sir!’
you can’t even parody this stuff, because Donny will get there eventually.
I know that Dear Leader wants us to fear him, but come on. he’s a dipshit — a stupid preening performative-nonsense dipshit. one who gets super aroused by big boats and trucks.
that’s because he’s an deteriorating man-child — and because he’s really fucking dumb.
by the way, because we live in the stupidest possible timeline, the tanker that was seized is named The Skipper.
because of course it is. you cannot make this shit up.
so what’s the end-game here? is Donny taking us to war with Venezuela? all the fuckery he’s been up to lately sure makes it look that way.
Since August, the US has put a $50m bounty on Maduro’s head, launched the biggest naval deployment in the Caribbean Sea since the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, and carried out a series of deadly airstrikes on alleged drug boats that have killed more than 80 people.
Democratic Senator Chris Coons seems to think so.
Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del.) expressed fear Tuesday that President Trump is “sleepwalking us into a war” with Venezuela in the wake of recent tension between the U.S. and the South American country.
“I’m afraid that Secretary [Pete] Hegseth and President Trump are sleepwalking us into a war with Venezuela, and that regime change and access to the critical mineral resources and oil and gas of Venezuela is the real purpose and real goal here,” Coons told MS NOW’s Nicolle Wallace on “Deadline: White House.”
“It sounds a lot like the beginning of a war,” Paul told NewsNation’s Hannah Brandt on Capitol Hill.
stop breaking our hearts, Rand.
on the other hand, this retired Marine colonel says no fucking way.
“The United States does not have the ground forces needed for an invasion,” said Mark Cancian, a retired Marine colonel and co-author of the analysis. “The Venezuelan ground forces number some 90,000 including the army, marines and National Guard. The United States has only 2,200 Marines [nearby], and there’s no movement to reinforce them.”
but when has not being ready ever stopped Donny from doing something monumentally stupid?
Donny is an impulsive imbecile who acts first and thinks never. he tore down the entire East Wing without bothering to have a plan in place for the gaudy dance hall that’s supposed to replace it. it’s a fucking hole in the ground right now. he shitcanned Obamacare subsidies without having anything to replace them.
do you really think Donny’s going to let something silly like not having enough Marines in place keep him from going to war, if he wakes up in a bad enough mood?
Donny says he wants regime change in Venezuela, and to bring democracy to its people. does any of that sound familiar?
hey, remember what happened the last time the good old US of A went war-for-oiling, in Iraq?
it was supposed to be a cakewalk — over in six weeks — with grateful Iraqis throwing flowers, and hailing us as liberators.
remember what actually happened? quagmire city. we were stuck in Iraq for nine years. hundreds of thousands of people died. trillions of dollars got flushed straight down the shitter. and for what? Iraq is a failed state now, and we never actually did get their oil.
that war was planned by Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld.
this oil war — if we have one — is going to be planned by a Mad King, a piss-drunk dunk-tank clown, and Liddle Marco. those ass-clowns are a thousand times dumber than the shitwits who bogged us down in Iraq. whatever they cook up is bound to be a fucking disaster.
when Cheney and his neocons lied us into war with Iraq, at least they had the decency to send Colin Powell over to the UN with bogus ‘evidence’ of Iraq’s fuckery.
we’re still waiting for one single shred of evidence that any of the Venezuelan fishing boats we’ve blown up have had any drugs on them at all.
meanwhile, Donny continues to wander out where the buses don’t run. here’s another inexplicable dollop of what-the-fuck from yesterday’s event.
“Boeing gave me the award for the greatest salesman in the history of Boeing, which was a nice little award. I think I’ve sold a thousand Boeing planes. can you believe it?”
no, we can’t believe it because — spoiler alert — these is no such award. Donny is so thirsty for accolades — and so demented — that he’s now inventing imaginary honors.
wait, that gives me an idea. I have a cunning plan. here’s how we end this thing peacefully.
let’s get Venezuelan President Maduro to announce that Donny has won — oh, I don’t know, let’s call it the Caracas Peace Prize For Being A Super Genius Who Ended All The Wars.
then Maduro can throw a gaudy ceremony for Donny, just like FIFA did. he can give a five-minute speech flattering the shit out of Donny, telling him how amazing he is, and then give him some cheap-ass gold-plated medallion he can hang around his neck.
afterwards, Maduro and Donny can walk off together, best friends forever.
look at me. I just stopped a war. where’s my FIFA Peace Prize?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Vomiting It All Up
and finally…
As If There Was Any Question
[Cankles] was begging for Norway and Denmark to send some “nice people” at his hate rally last night.
Pretty sure he meant “white people”
And today his social media put out this image so….yeah
[Cankles] is racist