Category: Fuck The Orange Felon

From Jeff Tiedrich:

the entire world was rightly horrified when Donny Convict and Couchfuck McGee ambushed and gang-assaulted Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House on live TV.

leaders rushed to put out statements. Justin Trudeau was unequivocal: "Russia illegally and unjustifiably invaded Ukraine." check out our boy Emmanuel Macron: "there is an aggressor: Russia. there is a victim: Ukraine." here's Germany's Friedrich Merz: "we stand with #Ukraine in good and in testing times. we must never confuse aggressor and victim in this terrible war."

Republicans, however, apparently live in some shit-show alternate reality where up is down, black is white, and stabbing our allies in the back is some supreme act of statesmanship.

the chittering squirrels on Fox & Friends were actually ready to hand Dear Leader a Nobel Peace Prize.

I shit you not.

"this was about peace, ultimately. there's a lot of drama and we can break down everybody's feelings, but in the end, I think what's remarkable is that we have a president who's willing to do anything to bring about world peace. man, if he doesn't get the Nobel Peace Prize, that thing means nothing."

pro tip for Fox News: it's called the Nobel Peace Prize, not the George Orwell War is Peace Prize. they don't hand it out to reckless fuckfaces who betray our allies.

now let's talk about that spineless little weasel, Marco Rubio. check out the look on his face as he witnesses a foreign policy disaster taking place. he knows what he's watching.

he's fucking appalled. he's trying to Homer Simpson himself into that couch.

any Secretary of State with an ounce of self-respect would have resigned in protest after that debacle. but not Liddle Marco. the very first thing he did was to log onto Elon's Nazi Bar and slobber all over Dear Leader's ass.

"Thank you @POTUS for standing up for America in a way that no President has ever had the courage to do before. Thank you for putting America First. America is with you!"

Jesus H. Christ, Marco. obsequious much? were they holding your family hostage, and forcing you to tweet that? blink twice if you're okay, bro.

Marco's next move was to go on CNN and demand that Zelensky apologize to Donny, because — get this — "Trump is a great businessman and knows how to get deals done."

free clue for Marco Rubio: "great businessman" is a character Donny played on a game show. in real life, Donny is an incompetent stumblefuck who went broke running casinos.

so, what was Zelensky's unforgivable crime, according to Team Donny?

this: he wasn't thankful enough. the ingrate, after all we've done for him!

CNN responded by showing Rubio clips of the many, many times Zelensky has thanked the United States for their support.

Rubio countered with well, he hasn't said it today.

oh, please. Zelensky isn't a member of Donny's cabinet. he isn't required to take part in the humiliating ritual where everyone goes around the table and thanks God for Dear Leader's very existence.

and excuse me, but what the fuck should Zelensky be thanking Donny for? Donny's done jack shit for Ukraine. Donny has sided with Russia every step of the way. and we all seem to have forgotten that Donny got impeached for trying to extort Zelensky by threatening to hold up arms shipments until Ukraine announced a fake investigation into Joe Biden. thanks, Donny. thank you so much. you're amazing. we're all in your debt.

I know I keep saying this, but it will never stop being true: every Democrat who voted to confirm Rubio because he seemed like the most-normal of Donny's sewer clowns can go fuck themselves forever.

here's another profile in courage: professional pearl-clutcher Lindsey Graham. look at Mister Excitable, he's worked himself into a ginormous fucking hissy.

"somebody asked me, am I embarrassed about Trump? I have never been more proud of the President. I was very proud of JD Vance standing up for our country. we want to be helpful. what I saw in the Oval Office was disrespectful, and I don't know if we can ever do business with Zelensky again. I think most Americans saw a guy that they don't want to go into business with."

good lord, the kompromat they have on Old Linz must be stunning. I'll bet it would melt your eyeballs.

by the way, I'm not the only one saying Rubio should resign.

fuck you, Marco Rubio, for putting me on the same side of an issue as John Bolton.

meanwhile, here's some fallout from Donny's Ukraine backstabbery.

One of Norway's largest marine fuel companies just announced that they will no longer refuel US Navy vessels after Trump's treatment of Zelenskyy. "It made us sick… We encourage all Norwegians and Europeans to follow our example."

oh, great. we're a world pariah now. ace job, Donny. what a good boy you are. maybe you should reward yourself with some golf.

oops, looks like Donny's way ahead of me. the lazy fuck is already down at Motel-a-Lago this weekend, driving his golf cart right up onto the green.

here are your heroes of the day: the good people of Waitsfield, Vermont.

the New York Post is having a Big Sad right now because Couchfuck McGee's weekend ski vacation isn't going as planned.

Vice President JD Vance was met with hundreds of pro-Ukraine protesters while visiting a Vermont ski resort on Saturday, following his public dust up with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House.

Vance and his family, on a trip to Sugarbush Resort, were greeted by the outraged protesters lining the snow-covered streets of the small Vermont town of Waitsfield.

Protestors displayed signs that labeled Vance a "national disgrace," accused him of being a "traitor" and encouraged the family to "go ski in Russia."

The vice president planned on staying at a four-star inn near the resort — but scrapped those plans and moved to an undisclosed location after seeing the intensity of the protesters.

boo fucking hoo.

fuck around, find out. it's what's for breakfast.

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