Category: Fuck Evangelicals

Evangelical Trump supporters live preposterously unexamined lives binding white Evangelicalism to the MAGA movement.

Donald Trump is the actual demonic person that white Evangelicals have convinced themselves liberals are. He's a marriage-wrecker, hedonistic sex freak, obvious atheist, litigious thief, welfare queen who never pays taxes, and he has gotten handouts from every level of government on his rise to his mobbish empire of cheap licensing deals. He is the personification of their liberal nightmares. Yet they're politically Christifying him.

So it's just sublimely apparent that MAGA Christianity has nothing to do with Jesus anymore. They've excommunicated Jesus for being a socialist Jew, and they're dancing on God's corpse proclaiming blasphemously all by themselves the arrival of the End Times and getting high on blood libel conspiracies, and snorting fat lines of racism huffing poppers of fascism to pregame for the party in Heaven where they'll watch America burn and all their political enemies suffer for eternity.

Remember that the God-fearing are the most impulsively capable of committing godless acts of unforgiving vengeance… in their devotion to their loving, forgiving god of moderation. Fascism depends on the religious fundamentalists doing the crusading dirty work in the streets.

Which is why QAnon's slow mainstreaming of the blood libel conspiracy is absolutely a cancer on society. It proliferates into so many toxic things, like anti-Semitism, Misogyny, and legalized persecution against society's downtrodden. The Republican Party's dogwhistle embrace of QAnon is inciting violence already. January 6th, the break-in of Nancy Pelosi's house, and it's going to get worse. And Christians are not breaking from the fascist coalition to be, you know, Christian.

God's immaterial corpse is being danced upon by ends-justify-the-means theocracy.

Some other various thoughts:

Pete Buttigieg is a much better Christian, acting through works rather than stupid faith alone, than Mike Pence.

Liberal atheist lesbians are the moral center of America.

It's amazing that Christian conservatives think they're losing the "Culture War" considering they made it up, they're the only ones fighting it, and their liberal enemies are not so much corrupting, demonic servants of Satan as just normal people unafraid of multiculturalism who wish conservatives would chill out, read a book other than the Bible, and realize that diversity has literally always been America's great historical strength. But instead they're striving to become a Christian branch of the Taliban mandating how everyone gets to live their lives.

Christians literally can't be against admitting refugees. It's everywhere in the Bible.

For too many, religion is a superfluous excuse to insist on being intolerant of people who are just being themselves. Don't be that kind of person.

To the pro-life crowd: in Deuteronomy 28:53 God promises to cause a terrible war that will make everyone eat their own children.

The Bible mandates we should stone Donald Trump several times for his various sins. I'm not saying we should do that, but I'm also not the one claiming I base my life on the Bible.

To all the people who want to force prayer back into schools: making repetitive things be absolutely mandatory typically makes people want to do them much less.

In terms of evolution, maybe we're making life much more complicated than it needs to be. Animals kind of exist because plants basically bred more complex life forms to eat their increasingly bright and tasty seeds and defecate them in other locations. Homo sapiens are extra good at it, and that's why plants, arguably, domesticated us to agriculturally be their slaves. So maybe try to relax, and enjoy existence!

Props to parents who don't force their kids into a religion so that they can decide for themselves what they believe without having nightmares about made up stories of eternal torture take root in their developing toddler minds.

The Tyrant
God does not sanction free and fair elections, He intervenes and cheats, He stuffs the ballot box for Himself, He is demagogic and says He alone can fix this, he smears his competitors and forbids their participation, and demands virginal prima nocta.

Comedy should always aim up, and never worry about aiming too high. All the way up. Because if anyone should ever be able to take a joke, it should be God, being benevolent and all.

Everything finite and mortal is more magnificent than the eternal and immortal. Enjoy the spectacular beauty of temporary life. Even God is watching us glued to His TV binging all our series' episodes, not us watching His.

The modern Jesus confesses to all the crimes of the year at the reception desk of the police station, but the prison wardens want their bonuses, and have state reservations full in the books, so they tell Jesus to go but he won't, and they arrest him for not resisting arrest.

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