Midweek Tiedrich


oh look, White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles is a bit of a blabbermouth. who knew?

it seems that over the last eleven months, Overly Talkative Suze has sat for eleven interviews with Vanity Fair’s Chris Whipple, which VF just published in a two-parter here and here.

here’s the beauty part: this Vanity Fair two-parter ain’t some rote, by-the-numbers snoozefest about how honored Susie Wiles is to be working with some of the finest minds yadda yadda yadda zzzzzzzzzzzz.

she actually takes a big stinky shit all over her co-workers.

the Dem Party’s social media team has put together a lovely highlight reel.

so, Donny Convict ‘has an alcoholic’s personality.’ Couchfuck McGee is ‘a conspiracy theorist.’ Pamnesia Pam Bondi has ‘completely whiffed.’ and the Space Nazi is an ‘avowed ketamine user.’

to which I say: tell us something we don’t already know, Suze.

all this is old-hat to anyone who’s been paying attention from the get-go.

Donny assembled his cabinet from a putrid grab-bag of fuckwads and found objects. you’ve got the piss-drunk Fox News dunk-tank clown. the crackpot who keeps a chainsaw in the trunk of his car on the off chance he happens upon into a dead whale. the lady who perforates puppies for fun. and let’s not forget the vice president who molests furniture.

as I wrote last February,

basically, America’s getting a clown show — and not a funny ha ha! clown show. nope, we’re getting sewer clowns.

Donny put zero effort into finding out if any of these shitwits could actually do the jobs he assigned to them — so it is any wonder that the past eleven months have been a master class in incompetence and disaster?

but still — for someone actually inside the White House to shit-talk the people she works with, that’s quite a thing. especially since Dear Leader expects infinite loyalty and obsequious flattery from every single one of his minions.

so, you’d figure the reaction from the White House would be thermonuclear, and that Susie Wiles would already be the former Chief of Staff — but you’d figure wrong. because what happened next is that every sewer clown simultaneously tweeted statements of undying support for Wiles.

it’s almost as if they had been ordered to do it.

I swear, these nitwits can’t even pull off a decent scandal without fucking that shit up. come on, you bozos, you just got insulted to your faces. what about you, Donny? Wiles said you had an ‘alcoholic’s personality.’ she even said you were all over the Epstein files! how did you not throw a shit-fit over that?

look at this. not only did Donny laugh off Wiles’ remarks, he said he agreed with them.

Trump even admitted to having an “alcoholic personality,” which some around the president considered among Wiles’ most incendiary remarks because of the president’s long and well-known aversion to alcohol and his brother’s struggle with alcoholism.

“I’m fortunate I’m not a drinker,” Trump told the New York Post.

what the fuck is going on? did Putin give Susie Wiles a copy of the pee-tape to use as job insurance?

it’s not a silly question — because it seems that Chatty Suzie has been working with Russian oligarchs for since like forever. look at this, from the Byline Times, published a year ago.

Trump’s newly appointed Chief of Staff, Susie Wiles, brings a complex political profile, with ties to Russian oligarchs and Chinese surveillance firms.

Before joining Trump’s 2024 campaign, Wiles was a co-chair at a firm that lobbied for sanctioned individuals and companies. A lobbyist who recommended Wiles to lead US President-Elect Donald Trump’s campaign represented a Russian-born oligarch connected to the Russian President Vladimir Putin and a state-owned oil corporation Rosneft.

Wiles’ ex-husband has ties to a Kremlin-linked lobbyist known for attending the 2016 Trump Tower meeting, where “dirt” on Clinton was offered on the Russian Government’s behalf. Wiles’ daughter failed the White House background check.

that’s all pretty convenient. what does Susie know, and why is her job being protected? and who is she really working for? as always with All Things Donny, there are a thousand questions, and zero satisfying answers.

Wiles, for her part, says that all her shit-talking has been taken out of context. so unfair! so unfair!

“Significant context was disregarded and much of what I, and others, said about the team and the President was left out of the story.”

Chris Whipple, by the way, says all of his interviews with Wiles are on tape.

so tell us, Suze — what is the ‘significant context’ missing from your statement that the Space Nazi is an ‘avowed ketamine user’? was it part of a larger narrative talking about how much fun it was to watch him get higher than two kites and pilot Forkship One all over the patio at Motel-a-Lago?

inquiring minds want to know.


Kaitlin Collins: “on affordability, the president is going to address the nation tomorrow night. he says he’s going to talk about basically what a great year we’ve had since he returned to office. do you want to hear him say there’s no inflation, like he did last week, which is not true.”

Greene: “it’s not true … inflation has steadied around 2.5 percent, so he can’t say there’s no inflation. however, what I would like to see from the president is empathy for Americans. Donald Trump is a billionaire, and he’s the president of the United States. when he looks into a camera and says ‘affordability is a hoax,’ and totally tries to make nothing out of inflation, he’s talking to Americans that are suffering and have been suffering for many years now, and are having a hard time making ends meet. so that’s not the right message to tell Americans.”

look at Sporky. all of a sudden she’s articulate. what happened to the buffoon who used to prattle about ‘peach tree dishes’ and ‘gazpacho police’?

almost three years ago, I wrote a post in which I speculated that Three Toes might actually be only pretending to be a moron.

holy shit, what if I was right? after all, there’s a long tradition of Republicans who act dumb as mud, in order to pander to their dumb-as-mud constituents. look no further than Louisiana Senator John “Not The Good John” Kennedy, who is an actual Rhodes Scholar, yet talks in an exaggerated mush-mouth drawl, as if he were a toothless turnip farmer. I guess now that Sporky is leaving office, she no longer feels the need to play-act.

but you know what? fuck Madge Three Toes and fuck her so-called rehabilitation tour. she’s still garbage.

look at how she’s spending her final two weeks in Congress.

The Protect Children’s Innocence Act, introduced by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., would make it a federal felony for doctors to provide certain forms of medical care related to gender transition for minors, including puberty blockers and hormone therapy. The bill could also expose parents and guardians to potential criminal liability for facilitating that care.

fuck off, Madge. stop pretending you’ve changed.


now we need to talk about Preznit Fuckwit — because he’s not faking being an imbecile. he’s the real deal — as fucking dumb as they come.

Donny gave another rambling mess of a speech yesterday, and — well, you have to hear it to believe it.

“they can fly those things. the way they can aim it at a— target. in the dark of night, the darkest you’ve ever seen. they want it to be as dark as possible. they didn’t want anything— and the only time anybody could see those planes was when those bomb chutes open up. because it becomes totally un-stealth when it goes— I explained that to Mark Levin once. you’re going in, you go like this, and as soon as it goes likes this, for some reason the plane is totally visible, not good. and I watched it happening. just— it’s like I’m sitting home watching, you know, it’s amazing, the Situation Room is an amazing place. but I watched them go BING-BING. it went BING-BING. and two massive hundred-thousand-pound bombs come pouring out. and the job they did was incredible.”

he’s so childishly stupid — and this wasn’t a one-off. Donny’s been insisting for years that stealth bombers are actually invisible.

Donny can’t get it through his thick skull that that stealth bombers are called stealth bombers because they can fly without being detected by radar. he honestly thinks you can’t see them. and not only does this gibbering lunatic believe this fever-swamp nonsense — he claims to have witnessed it first hand.

where did Donny see these big strong stealth bombers with tears in their eyes, that go ‘BING-BING’ in the dark of night, the darkest you’ve ever seen, dark like no one thought possible?

do you think maybe one reporter could ask about that? here’s another good question the press might want to ask: what the fuck is wrong with you?


and, lastly it looks like we’re going to war with Venezuela.

we know the Mad King is serious, because he THANKS Venezuela FOR THEIR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

what ‘land’ is this gibbering lunatic talking about, that he demands Venezuela return to America? the United States has never ‘owned’ land in Venezuela. where is this nonsense coming from? he’s fucking insane.

all this, two days before the Dead Pedo Bestie Files are due to be released. how convenient is that?


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Sunday Tiedrich


a certain three-toed genetic freak of nature is very very sad right now, because of all the toxic.

there’s just so much toxic these days, everywhere you look. toxic in Congress. toxic in the media. toxic in the White House. you can’t walk five feet without getting toxic all over your shoes.

all the toxic is harshing this poor woman’s mellow — so much so, that she has no choice but to throw in the towel. she’s resigning from Congress, effective January 5, 2026.

oh, please. Marjorie Taylor Greene can fuck all the way off. she’s an arsonist, standing in the middle of the road with an empty gas can and a book of matches, wondering aloud about ‘how did all these fires get started?’

Congresswoman Sporkfoot has been at the center of so much fuckery that you could be forgiven for assuming she’s been a member of Congress since the Neanderthal era.

actually, she’s been in office for only five years.

that’s right. Greene was sworn in only THREE DAYS before the January 6th insurrection — but somehow she felt the need to ask Dear Leader to be pardoned for it. what could she possibly have gotten up to that she needed a Get Out Of Jail Free card after only three days in Congress? we’ll probably never find out.

all we know is that she was part of a late-December 2020 planning meeting at the White House, before she was even sworn in.

“just finished with our meetings here at the White House this afternoon, we had a great planning session for our January 6th objection. we aren’t going to let this election be stolen by Joe Biden and the Democrats. President Trump won by a landslide. call your House reps, call your Senators from your state. we have to make sure they’re on board and we already have people engaged. okay, stay tuned.”

hmm. taking part in a reckless scheme to overturn a free and fair election — a scheme that led to cops getting beaten with flagpoles, and the Capitol being overrun by morons.

that sounds pretty toxic to me.


where do you even start with Madge Three Toes? how about with Ground Zero for toxic behavior, when, during a televised congressional hearing, she held up photos of Hunter Biden’s freakishly ginormous trouser trout.

there was no legitimate reason for it. Marge did it just to be cruel, just to humiliate the Biden family. why? because she’s a toxic fuckhead. duh.

but now she’s so remorseful. she wants a mulligan. a do-over. pretty please, can’t we forget about that shit?

no, we can’t.

there’s too much of it.

there’s the whole fucking space laser thing. it’s so preposterous that it sounds like some made-up urban legend, but it actually happened.

In a now deleted Facebook post, the controversial Republican freshman representative speculated that the fire, which killed 85 people in 2018 in Butte County, was started by a space laser connected to the Rothschild family, a wealthy Jewish family at the heart of many anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.

the word ‘controversial’ is doing a lot of heaving lifting in a story about some elected ninny accusing Jews of controlling the weather, and starting fires for their own nefarious purposes.

but that’s not the only baseless conspiracy theory Marge has promoted.

gosh, Marge sure seems— what’s the word I’m reaching for here? oh yeah: toxic.

of course you’ll be shocked to learn that Three Toes believes school shootings were faked.

In a separate Facebook post in 2018, Greene also claimed: “I am told that Nancy Pelosi tells Hillary Clinton several times a month that ‘we need another school shooting’ in order to persuade the public to want strict gun control.”

and now for my favorite dumbfuck conspiracy of all.

how much of a QAnon-poisoned shitwit do you have to be to believe this fever-swamp nonsense? RGB died five years before she actually died, and Democrats replaced her with a fake so that Donny wouldn’t be able to appoint her replacement

yeah, what a brilliant plan. it sure worked out swimmingly for the Democrats.


remember this?

that’s Sporky and her partner in assholery, Handy Oakley, heckling Joe Biden at his 2022 State of the Union address. know what Joe was talking about at the time? his dead son.

how fucking classless. what kind of ghoul does this? I guess the kind of ghoul who isn’t above calling Handy Oakley a ‘whore.’

Greene has resorted to a playbook familiar to any woman who survived high school: She’s telling GOP colleagues, according to lawmakers, that Boebert is a “whore.”

One Republican lawmaker, who has heard Greene use that word multiple times to describe Boebert, told The Daily Beast that Greene has been at this campaign for some time.

“Calling her a whore, that’s not new,” this GOP lawmaker said. “She’s been doing that for a while.”

know what they were spatting over? who would get to be the first to introduce articles of impeachment against Joe Biden. Marge insisted that her articles were better — and besides, she’d worked really really hard on them, and Handy was just being a jealous spotlight-stealing copycat. they got into an amusing tiff right out in the open on the floor of the House, famously culminating in Greene calling Handy ‘a little bitch.’

stay classy, you three-toed sideshow attraction.

I could go on, because there’s so much more. there’s the time Sporky had to apologize for comparing masking up during a pandemic to the Holocaust. the time she harassed AOC. the time she stalked a school shooting survivor.

but I’m starting to overdose on all the toxic. we definitely need a palate cleanser right about now.


n her five years in office, there was only one issue where Congresswoman Sporkfoot was firmly on the correct side: the call to release Donny’s Dead Pedo Bestie Files.

that’s what led to her downfall — because there is one thing that Republicans must never, ever do: actually go after Dear Leader for his crimes. just ask Liz Cheney.

Sporky’s short-lived attempt to rebrand herself as a Sane Voice of Reason — where she appeared on all the Sunday shows, declared herself a Changed Woman, and begged to be forgiven for all the toxic — went nowhere. so now she’s quitting, presumably to spend more time with the barking noises in her head. oh, and to spend more time with her boyfriend, Bee Face — the guy who looks like he’s been stung by all the bees.

Marge issued a teary ten-minute resignation video, all full of sadness and self-pity.

“I have too much self-respect and dignity, love my family way too much, and do not want my sweet district to have to endure a hurtful and hateful primary against me by the President we all fought for—only to fight and win my election while Republicans will likely lose the midterms. And in turn, be expected to defend the President against impeachment after he hatefully dumped tens of millions of dollars against me and tried to destroy me.

what’s that you say, Marge? you’re predicting that Republicans will lose the midterms, and Donny will end up impeached? stop it, you’re breaking our hearts.

why has Sporky has chosen January 5th as the date she’s going fuckity-bye? because that’s three days after her Congressional pension kicks in. how convenient.

Greene began serving on January 3, 2021, and her departure date leaves her with 1,829 days of service — five years and three days, just enough to meet the eligibility threshold. Her pension would start at $8,717 at age 62, and based on actuarial data, could total more than $265,000 over her lifetime.

and that’s after enriching herself during her time in Congress.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has seen her stock in Palantir Technologies surge 142 percent since she invested in April, just days before Immigration and Customs Enforcement handed the company a $30 million contract.

The Georgia representative is a member of the House Homeland Security Committee which oversees ICE, and since her investment on April 8, the stock has rocketed.

shed not a tear for Marjorie Three Brain Cells Greene. she’ll be fine. the government she leaves behind, not so much.


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Saturday Madness

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.


monday: what exactly are we grasping at here

guys, Tennessee Rep. Tim Burchett has a message just for you.

Fox News fuckface: “Jesse Watters says men should not drink out of straws in public — or at all.”

Rep. Tim Burchett: “I don’t drink out of a straw, brother. that’s what the women in my house do.”

honchos, take it from Tim: don’t be a girlywuss. don’t daintily purse your lips around some little tube — because that’s what the ladies do. everyone knows that real men consume liquids with gusto. toss your head back and fucking guzzle that shit, bro.

seriously, Timmy? is this you?

Tim, is this Jesse Watters?

 

is this Dear Leader?

look, can we finally close the book on this time-wasting toxic male bullshit? so-called ‘real men’ don’t worry about straws. we have more pressing issues on our hands — like, how does The Simpsons get so much shit right?


tuesday: mmm, conspiracies

no, seriously — why has The Simpsons predicted practically everything, from Super Bowl victories to Donny Convict’s presidency?

Pizzagate Princess/QAnon Queen Liz Crokin knows the answer: it’s a deep state plot.

“what the Deep State does, is that they will— they, the Deep State, the members of the cabal, whatever we want to call them, because they’re satanists — this isn’t what I believe, this is what they believe — they believe in truth in plain sight. they believe that they have to announce their plans before they commit them. and, even if it’s just through TV shows, or their art, or music, they believe that’s what they have to do. so if you look at a show like the Simpsons, people are like ‘oh my gosh, how did The Simpsons predict so much stuff,’ it’s like no, actually that’s part of their predictive programming. they are announcing their plans in advance.”

Homer? do you have anything you want to say, now that the whistle has been blown on your Deep State fuckery?

busted!


wednesday: mmm, stupidity

now, let’s listen to the sound of the wind as it whistles through Maria Baritromo’s empty head

“should we really have wind and solar subsidies in this bill? what if it’s not windy? what if it’s not sunny?”

folks, let’s review: what does the stupid do?

you really have to admire MAGA’s commitment to ignorance. just because Dear Leader doesn’t understand how batteries work, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex has to go on live TV and beclown themselves by. parroting the stupidest shit imaginable.

how is it not a cult?


all of us should have seen this coming a mile away. you know all those bros who ponied up anywhere from hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars in order to get to hang with Dear Leader at his Big Crypto Corruption Dinner?

they got played. they were promised they would get to hobnob with The Great Dealmaker himself — and they came home with bupkis. none of that shit happened.

here’s how Donny ‘thanked’ them for their six- to seven-figure ‘investment’ into his fake money. look at this plateful of what in the actual fuck. this is the meal the crypto bros got served at Donny’s Virginia golf motel.

“It was the worst food I’ve ever had at a Trump golf course,” Nicholas Pinto, a business influencer who poured around $300,000 into Trump’s coin, told Wired of the entree, a surf-and-turf dish that included halibut and filet mignon. Speaking to Fortune, he criticized the latter as a “Walmart steak.” Pictures of the plates suggested that the dinner was barely up to airline standards.

so sorry to hear that you didn’t enjoy your three-hundred-thousand dollar meatwad, bro. maybe write Dear Leader a strongly-worded letter.

here are two dudes who liked the food, but were totally bummed out when Dear Leader showed up, mumbled a few words into a microphone, and then got the fuck out of there.

NEW: Two attendees of Trump’s crypto VIP reception and dinner last night shared that while the food was good, they were disappointed by the lack of meaningful interaction with the president. They had hoped for more access and perhaps even a Q&A session for the top wallet holders, but instead, the speech was essentially a reiteration of the U.S.’s goal to become the global leader in crypto. “He just gave a few remarks and left,” one said.

so, Donny flimflammed a bunch of crypto assholes out of millions of dollars and gave them nothing in return. that might actually be a public service. I’m conflicted.


get ready, everyone. Marjorie Three Toes Greene is about to do something stupid.

Marge has gotten herself all worked up into a big hissy — because she was all I’m really awesome, and a computer was all actually, you fucking suck.

on Friday, Congresswoman Sporkfoot took to not-twitter to brag for the umpteenth time about how she was Christianing the shit out of being a Christian.

“I’m a Christian, an imperfect sinner saved by grace and faith in Jesus. I’m a nationalist, a proud American, who loves my country and wants to make our home nation is the best place for all American citizens and future generations to come. I’m a mother, thankful for the blessings and responsibility God gave me with my children.”

yeah, we get it, dimwit. you’re amazing.

in case you’ve quit Elon’s Nazi bar (and good for you if you have!), let’s catch you up. not-twitter has its own AI now, because of course it does. every fucking thing has its own AI now. and some smart-ass asked not-twitter’s AI, Grok, to comment on Sporky’s post.

“Critics, including religious leaders, argue her actions contradict Christian values of love and unity, citing her defense of January 6 and divisive rhetoric.”

because there’s nothing halfwits like doing better than beefing with inanimate objects, Sporky fired back.

“the judgement seat belongs to GOD, not you a non-human AI platform. Grok is left leaning and continues to spread fake news and propaganda.”

Marge, Grok can’t hear you. it’s not real. it’s a bunch of silicon chips.

I have a confession to make. it was us — the Jews. we reprogrammed Grok to call Marge a heretic. we did it with our space lasers, when no one was looking.

stop fucking with us, Marge, and we’ll stop fucking with you.