today is Memorial Day. you’re going to hear a lot of mouth-farting from the Usual Republican Suspects about how much they honor and respect our nation’s fallen heroes.
they’re going to be all over social media, tweeting out the same old boilerplate platitudes about duty and sacrifice.
it’s all bullshit. the GOP fucking hates our veterans.
as always, watch what they do, not what they say.
soldiers, sailors and marines are useful props whenever some asshole wingnut needs to burnish their ‘patriot’ cred, but when it comes time to actually support them — say, by helping them when they’re in need — it’s a completely different story.
need proof? let’s go to the video tape, from July 29, 2022:
here we have a bunch of Republican Senators fist-bumping. why? because they just blocked a billthat would have expanded healthcare coverage for military veterans exposed to toxic burn pits during their service.
who the fuck celebrates that?
awesome job, you evil soulless hypocrites — because nothing says ‘we support our heroes’ so much as ‘just fucking die.’
fast forward to 2025. in April of that year, the Space Nazi’s merry band of pimply DOGE incels showed up at the Department of Veterans Affairs and said good news, everyone — you’re all fired. they then took a wrecking ball to the place.
right now, the VA is so understaffed that veterans calling in with need for assistance can’t get anyone to answer the phone. that’s “just fucking die” on steroids.
listen up, shitheads: if you send a person into a war zone and tell them to fight for their country, and they come back injured and permanently disabled, you fucking well take care of them — forever.
it’s basic human decency.
head-trauma poster boy Tommy Tuberville is a complete bag of shit in every way. he’s posted an eight minute video about how super fucking grateful he is for our troops. don’t bother watching it, you’ll just get stupider.
“It’s Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day is about more than just grilling out by the lake. It’s a time to reflect and be grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom.”
ugh.
let’s not forget that Mr. Should Have Worn A Helmet When He Played Football single-handedly blocked all military promotions for the better part of a year. why would T-Tubes do this? because he had worked himself up into a big hissy over a Pentagon policy that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions.how dare they.
but sure, Tommy — please tell us once more about how you’re “grateful for the tremendous sacrifices that have been made for our freedom.” no, wait — don’t bother.
just fuck all the way off.
here’s something that white supremacy’s middle manager, Steve Scalise, tweeted out on Veterans Day 2023:
“America is the greatest nation in the history of the world because of the bravery and sacrifices of our veterans. Join me in thanking and honoring all those who answered the call to serve our country and defend our freedoms—because without them we’d have neither. #VeteransDay”
Steve, with all due respect, you too can fuck straight off into the sea.
you voted against the VA Employee Fairness Act, the Veteran Service Recognition Act, the PACT Act (twice), the Equal Access to Contraception for Veterans Act, and the Ensuring Veterans Smooth Transition Act.
for a guy who claims to honor those who made sacrifices, you have an odd way of showing it.
last Veterans Day, six-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley took a minute off from vigorously beetlejuicing her latest conquest to post this drivel:
“Without our Veterans the American Dream would not be possible. To anyone who has ever worn the uniform, thank you!”
sit down and shut the fuck up, you vapid bobblehead.
let’s see how you show your appreciation: in your first term in Congress, you made 15 anti-veteran votes. in 2023, you voted to cut funding for the 49,000 veterans in your district by supporting a bill that would gut their health care.
now let’s move on to the googly-eyed director of the Federal Bureau of Guzzling As Much Bourbon As You Can, As Quickly As You Can — the always steady on his feet Kash Patel.
this atrocity should be fresh in your mind, as it was first reported on a couple of weeks ago. I’m talking about the day that Krazee-Eyes Kash got it in his head to invite a bunch of his besties to have a snorkel party within splashing distance of one of America’s most sacred war memorials — the sunken remains of the U.S.S. Arizona in Pearl Harbor.
this memorial is such a hallowed place that no one but the divers who inter the remains of fallen heroes are allowed to go into the water. you can’t even walk around in a bathing suit. they will throw your disrespectful ass right out of there — but that didn’t stop Kash and his posse from jumping right in for some snorkely hijinks.
who the fuck thinks this is appropriate behavior?
and don’t even get me started on this rotting diaperload.
Cadet Bone Spurs has spent his entire life finding new and inventive ways to insult and dishonor our troops. back during the 2024 presidential campaign, the Biden-Harris HQ assembled this greatest hits video:
here’s what this dipshit posted last Memorial Day, on his own crappy app:
“Happy Memorial Day to all, including the Dumocrats, who disrespect our Military and all of the tremendous success that it has had over the last year. God Bless those that have made the ultimate sacrifice. I love you all! President DONALD J. TRUMP”
awesome. Donny can’t even post a simple Memorial Day message without turning it into some broken-inside grievance-fest.
let’s not forget that in November 2018, as world leaders gathered at a cemetery in France to honor the memory of US soldiers killed while fighting in World War One, Donny blew the whole thing off — because it was drizzling lightly and he didn’t want that weird tangle of piss-colored bullshit on top of his fat head to get wet. instead, he spent the day rage-tweeting from his hotel room. good times, bro, good times.
let’s also not forget that in conversations with his chief of staff John Kelly, Donny referred to prisoners of war as “suckers” because “there is nothing in it for them.” he also called soldiers killed in action “losers.”
what kind of overgrown diaper-baby gets mad at a fucking boat?
let’s not ever forget that incident in 2024, when Donny barged his way into Arlington National Cemetery to do a disgraceful thumb’s-up campaign photo-op while trampling over the graves of fallen heroes — and grinning like an asshole the whole time.
“Where’s her husband? Oh, he’s away. … What happened to her husband? Where is he? He’s gone,” Trump said at his rally in Conway, his first visit to the state this year.
Michael Haley is deployed in Africa with the South Carolina Army National Guard in support of the United States Africa Command, his second active-duty deployment overseas.
hey, remember that Pentagon policy that got Terminally-Concussed Tommy Tuberville so upset — the one that paid the travel expenses of raped soldiers in need of abortions? Tommy should be happy now, because Donny shitcanned it four days after taking the oath of office.
now I want to repost something I wrote on September 24, 2023 — because of all the shitty episodes regarding Little Donny Fuckface’s callous treatment of our troops, this one just might be the rock-bottom worst:
At his welcome ceremony at Joint Base Myer–Henderson Hall, across the Potomac River from the capital, Milley gained an early, and disturbing, insight into Trump’s attitude toward soldiers. Milley had chosen a severely wounded Army captain, Luis Avila, to sing “God Bless America.” Avila, who had completed five combat tours, had lost a leg in an IED attack in Afghanistan and had suffered two heart attacks, two strokes, and brain damage as a result of his injuries. To Milley, and to four-star generals across the Army, Avila and his wife, Claudia, represented the heroism, sacrifice, and dignity of wounded soldiers.
It had rained that day, and the ground was soft; at one point Avila’s wheelchair threatened to topple over. Milley’s wife, Hollyanne, ran to help Avila, as did Vice President Mike Pence. After Avila’s performance, Trump walked over to congratulate him, but then said to Milley, within earshot of several witnesses, “Why do you bring people like that here? No one wants to see that, the wounded.”Never let Avila appear in public again, Trump told Milley. (Recently, Milley invited Avila to sing at his retirement ceremony.)
what a cold-hearted prick.
“why do you bring people like that here? no one wants to see that, the wounded.”
imagine you’re a severely wounded soldier. after five combat tours, sacrificing yourself for your country — you find yourself in a military hospital, minus one leg, your life permanently altered. you live though months of hell — bedridden, undergoing multiple operations and grueling physical therapy — and when finally you’re discharged, you’re confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life.
and what does the President of the United States — your Commander in Chief — say about you?
“no one wants to see that, the wounded.”
fuck you, Donald Trump. you piece of shit.
let’s look at how a real patriot honors our troops.
two years ago, President Joe Biden gave the commencement address to West Point’s graduating class. afterwards, he spent over an hour saluting and shaking the hands of each one of the 1,036 graduates. he didn’t ask what was in it for them. he didn’t call them suckers and losers. no one had to hide any warships.
at last year’s West Point commencement ceremony, after rambling incoherently about trophy wives to mystified cadets, Preznit Fuckwit teetered off stage and hurried the fuck out of there. the MAGA-cap-wearing shithead didn’t shake a single hand.
he then spent the rest of the day cheating at golf at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.
this year, Donny didn’t even bother to show up for the West Point Commencement. he sent his piss-drunk Secretary of Skateboards in his place.
Donny, Tuberville, Scalise, Handy Oakley, Krazee-Eyes Kash, the whole worthless lot of them — the next time any of these grandstanding hypocrites starts going on and on about how much they love the shit out of our troops, remember: watch what they do, not what they say.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
It’s been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Right now, I’d say that it’s stepping into a new day and expecting Republicans not to do something horrible.
It happens to all of us.
We wake up in the morning, eventually check our phones or turn on the news, and are greeted by some new abomination: an unprecedented legislative assault on a central pillar of our Republic, the dismantling of long-established civil rights, a heartbreaking act of violence against the most vulnerable among us.
We encounter a legion of novel nightmares authored by the same people whose brutality from the previous day we’ve not yet recovered from, and we are somehow surprised.
Despite a decade of their daily atrocities, despite their prolific portfolio of inhumanity, despite their seemingly inexhaustible disregard for legal and moral law, their malevolence never fails to rattle our nervous systems and boggle our minds anew.
Each day, a sickening sense of deja vu sets in as we find ourselves freshly outraged, as if these moral abominations are out of character for these people, as if they might have reached their capacity for cruelty overnight, as if they’d suddenly had their sociopathy satiated and will magically relent.
Good people, we need to stop doing this.
This is who they have been; it is who they are. There is no moment of clarity coming, no soul awakening, no tearful repentance. They’ve long passed that possibility. To still be tethered to something as monstrous as this man and his movement is to have permanently abandoned the fundamental humanity required to feel empathy or possess self-awareness. We need to stop wasting time hoping his supporters will suddenly call upon their better angels, as they killed those off long ago.
Yesterday, a distraught member of our online community said over Zoom, “No matter what we do, no matter how much we fight, it seems like nothing gets better. Every day, things are worse.” I think she was hoping I would disagree with her.
I assured her that this wasn’t going to change anytime soon, because the people in power have no current external or internal obstacles in their path. They are not ethically bound by the Constitution and possess no regard for the rule of Law. They have commandeered the highest court in our nation and hold zero compunctions about violating the inalienable rights of other human beings.
They also realize that their time is incredibly short, despite appearances to the contrary. They’ve been paying attention to the elections over the last 16 months, and they know the public sentiment against them is rising swiftly. They live with the Sword of Damocles hovering overhead: the unforced errors of a sexual scandal that will not go away, a costly, unwinnable war, and an economy they have singlehandedly driven to life support.
There is no way back; there is only the way down. All they have left is destruction.
Right now, Americans need to make peace with the fact that the news is going to continue to be bad. We are going to witness an ever more desperate and violent descent into the depths of the malevolence human beings are capable of. These people are going to wake up every day, as in this one, singularly driven to damage as many people as possible as quickly as they can, and we should prepare ourselves by not being pulled into disbelief as they do.
We cannot waste a single second being shocked by their depravity, or hoping they will tire of violence, or expecting them to be anything other than who they have shown us they are.
Instead, our energy should be better spent keeping our heads down and getting on with the work before us, of building a broad coalition of resistance, of taking our stands where we can, of leveraging our economic power, of caring for those being targeted, and creating a compassionate community that curates decency and love for neighbor.
We need to stop being surprised by Republicans’ inhumanity and to go about the work of being human.
Mike Davis used a profanity laced tweet to tell former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords to “fuck off” after she shared condolences for a National Guard member killed in a shooting and called for action against gun violence. Giffords, who survived being shot in the head while meeting constituents in 2011, has become one of the country’s most visible advocates for gun safety. His outburst did not just punch down, it sneered at the idea that someone scarred by gunfire might want fewer people to live through what she did.
What makes it even uglier is how routine this is in MAGA world. Staff Sgt. Sarah Beckstrom was only on that D.C. street because trump flooded the capital with National Guard troops as part of a domestic crackdown that a federal judge has already ruled unlawful, saying he exceeded his authority by using soldiers for open ended “crime deterrence.” Instead of grappling with the fact that this lawless deployment helped put her in the line of fire, Davis tried to redirect blame onto Giffords, Senator Mark Kelly, and Democrats, accusing them of importing “terrorists” while a soldier lay dead in a city militarized for trump’s politics, not public safety.
Coming after Giffords is not just insensitive, it is obscene. This is a woman whose skull was shattered while doing basic democracy talking with voters in a grocery store parking lot. Mocking her plea for fewer shootings and defending an unlawful troop deployment that turned people like Sarah Beckstrom into expendable props is the tell that this movement is not about freedom or safety, it is about domination, cruelty, and keeping both guns and soldiers on American streets no matter who gets killed.
Just when you think Republicans can’t sink any lower, they never fail to disappoint.
This vote is gonna be on your record for longer than [Cankles] is gonna be president. And what are you going to do in 2028 and 2030 when you’re in a debate … and they ask, ‘How can we trust you? You covered up for a pedophile back in 2025.'” ~ Thomas Massie, GOP Congressman from Knetucky, taking his own party to task.
Massie is deeply MAGAt so he gets no props for that, but he gets props for stepping up, stepping out, and stepping on his own party of pedophile protectors.
a 23-year-old obtained multiple weapons of mass death, just as our founders intended, took those weapons to the Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, Minnesota, just as our founders intended, opened fire on teachers and students, just as our founders intended, firing one hundred and sixteen rounds in a matter of seconds, just as our founders intended, killing two and wounding eighteen, just as our founders intended. she then killed herself, just as our founders intended.
or fuck’s sake, we couldn’t even get through the first week of the new school year without some sicko with a grudge, an AR-15, and a death wish ending the life of two children.
and — oh look! — all the worst fucking people in the world are now offering us their cheap thoughts and useless prayers.
his let’s-perpetuate-the-worship-of-guns shit isn’t helping.
Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, could you please explain to Rep Ogles why thinking and praying is, in this instance, particularly galling?
“and don’t just say, this is about thoughts and prayers right now. these kids were literally praying. it was the first week of school. they were in a church.”
wrap your mind around that: these children were gunned down while they were praying in a church. so I’m asking: could the thoughts-and-prayers crowd at least have the decency to sit this one out?
apparently, the answer is no.
it seems that Karoline Leavitt isn’t just Donny Convict’s truth-averse press secretary. she’s also America’s self-appointed religious scold — and she’s hella incensed that anyone would dare criticize her god-given right to think and pray.
I saw the comments of Ms. Psaki and frankly I think they’re incredibly insensitive and disrespectful to the tens of millions of Americans of faith across this country who believe in the power of prayer, who believe that prayer works.”
look, Karoline, no one is saying that you’re not allowed to think and pray. do whatever you want. process grief in whichever way you need to. America remains, despite the best efforts of Preznit Cankles McFascist, a mostly-free country. for now.
what we’re asking is that you not turn ‘thoughts and prayers’ into some public performative ritual, where it’s used as a dodge to wallpaper over the fact that Republicans haven’t ever done one fucking thing to end all this slaughter.
we’ve been thinking and praying since Columbine, 26 years ago — and free clue: all those thoughts and prayers haven’t done shit.
“these are preventable. the first thing you should do, every school in the country should have a metal detector. you have to control the entry of kids and the perimeter around every school. the left’s rush to blame guns for every tragedy, it’s sad and pathetic.”
look, Sean Hannity’s job is to say the stupidest shit imaginable. we’ll give him that. but ranting about metal detectors just makes Hannity a special kind of stupid.
a metal dectector at the door of the church where these kids got shot would have done fuck-all, because the shooter was standing outside and firing through the windows.
but this is what passes for your average Republican’s solution to America’s kids-used-for-target-practice problem: let’s turn schools (and I guess now churches, too) into maximum-security prisons. let’s harden the fuck out of them.
let’s replace every door of every school with thick reinforced steel, and make sure they’re locked every minute of the day. let’s install metal detectors, and post armed guards every fifty feet. let’s arm teachers to the teeth.
except none of that hardening shit works when the shooter is standing outside with an AR-15, firing hundreds of rounds through the fucking windows. duh. so what’s your solution, Plankhead? board up all the windows? in a church?
the actual solution is staring us all in the face: it’s the guns. ban the fucking assault weapons.
no civilian needs a weapon of mass death.
and please, don’t even get me started on Bobby Brainworms. it’s too early in the morning for my head to be exploding.
this whale-head-chainsawing lunatic doesn’t even understand how germs work, but he’s going to square-peg-round-hole his own special solution to America’s gun problem: let’s ban ALL the drugs.
“we’re launching studies on the potential contribution of some of the SSRI drugs and some of the other psychiatric drugs that might be contributing to violence.”
this fucking guy. now he want to ban anti-depressants — because he has a hunch they lead to violence. oh joy, Mr. Make Polio Great Again has a hunch.
it’s really weird how anti-depressants are regularly prescribed in every country on the planet, but only in America does it result in a gun problem. what a crazy coincidence.
it cannot be understated how completely crazypants Bobby Brainworms is. I want to highlight a video shot by journalist Sandi Bachom, of an RFK Jr. anti-vaccine rally, back on January 23, 2022. it’s a huge fucktangle of holy shit.
in five years we’re going to see four hundred and fifteen thousand low-orbit satellites. Bill Gates has his 65,000 satellites alone. he’ll be able to look at every square inch of the planet 24 hours a day. they’re putting in 5G, to harvest our data and control our behavior. digital currency will allow them to punish us from a distance and cut off our food supply. the minute they hand you that vaccine, fast forward. every right that you have is transformed into a privilege contingent on your obedience to arbitrary government dictates.”
this is the insane freak currently dismantling our country’s ability to prevent the return of diseases that we eradicated decades ago. the one ranting and raving about Bill Gates and 5G chips.
and now he’s going to ban anti-depressants — because guns.
fuck every Republican — four of whom are medical doctors — who voted to confirm this hallucinating conspiracy loon.
shame on you all.
here’s a thing I wrote on March 30, 2023, the day after a school shooting in Nashville — but the date and the location don’t matter. the words below can be applied to any school shooting at any time and any place in America.
Republicans don’t give a fuck about children
Republicans were so busy protecting children from learning that Rosa Parks was black that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.
Republicans were so busy protecting children from eating a subsidized school lunch that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.
Republicans were so busy protecting children from discovering why Anne Frank had to hide that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.
Republicans were so busy protecting children from knowing how their own bodies work that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.
Republicans were so busy protecting children from having access to healthcare that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.
oopsies!
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Michelle Obama’s famous slogan, “when they go low, we go high” sounds really great on paper — but in a time of war, it’s a good way to get your head blown off.
and believe me, we are in a time of war — a war to preserve whatever scraps of democracy we still can, while there’s still a chance.
this isn’t the time for high-minded tut-tutting, or strongly-worded letters — which is why it’s so satisfying to watch New York Governor Kathy Hochul vow to go nuclear.
“I want to thank [Texas Democrats] so much for making this journey. you are on the right side of history — and you’re not alone. we are in solidarity with each and every one of you, and your colleagues in another state, hosted by my great friend JD Pritzker, welcome you as well. as I said, history will judge us on how we respond to this moment. but here in New York, we will no stand on the sidelines with the timid souls who don’t care, will not invest their heart and soul into this battle. this is a war. we are at war. and that’s why the gloves are off, and I say ‘bring it on.’”
Kathy Hochul understands the assignment, and she’s drawn a clear line in the sand: don’t fuck with us. if you gerrymander your state, we’ll gerrymander ours.
Hochul has embraced changing New York’s process since the fight over the Lone Star State maps escalated last month. Other Democrats have gone along as well: New York lawmakers introduced a state constitutional amendment last week that would let Democrats make mid-decade adjustments to their maps before the 2028 election cycle.
The redistricting effort she’s pushing in New York could open the door to a new set of maps that give Democrats an edge in 22 of the state’s 26 congressional districts by 2028. They won 19 of the 26 seats in 2024.
New York’s district maps are currently drawn by an independent commission, and Hochul is all that shit don’t fly no more.
reporter: “do you think, given the situation where we’ve had these court battles, that in this 2027 amendment that you may put forward that the independent redistricting commission should be disbanded, or changed in some way?”
Hochul: “yes. I’m tired with fighting this fight with my hands tied behind my back. with all due respect to the good government groups, politics is a political process. and to think we’re gonna do this with a purity test and make sure it’s completely fair to everybody involved. the reason we are able to draw the lines is because we’re Democrats and because the majority of state elected us to be leaders. and when we say that we cannot use that power to its fullest, then we’re abdicating the responsibility that we all have. Republicans take over the legislature, they can have at it — but until then, we’re in charge, and we’re sick and tired of being pushed around, when other states don’t have the same aspirations that we always have had — and I hold those dear. but I cannot ignore that that the playing field has changed, and shame on us if we ignore that fact, and cling tight to the vestiges of the past. that era is over. Donald Trump eliminated that forever.”
fuck yeah, Kathy Hochul. how long have you waited for those words to come out of the mouth of an elected Democrat?
that weird, unfamiliar feeling you’re experiencing right now is elation.
it sure feels good, doesn’t it, finally hearing a Democrat actually say that the playing field has changed, and the era of ‘oh, we’re Democrats, we’re above fighting back’ is over?
“these folks don’t play by the rules. if they can’t win under the current rules, they’ll just change them. that’s what Donald Trump has done. he’s dialing for seats—familiar behavior, since he dialed for votes in the last election. this is someone who tried to break this country, who tried to light democracy on fire on January 6th. he knows he’s going to lose in the midterms, and we have the opportunity to de facto end the Trump presidency in less than 18 months. that’s what’s at stake. that’s why we’re putting a stake in the ground. we’re not drawing lines just to draw lines — we’re holding the line: on democracy, on the rule of law, on co-equal branches of government, on popular sovereignty. that’s what this is about.”
they’re so chickenshit, these Republicans. they know that Donny’s policies fucking suck, and they know they’re going to get crushed in the 2026 elections and lose their majority in the House — so they’re going to do the only thing they know how to do: cheat.
finally, at long last, Democratic Governors are rousing from their slumbers and actually doing something to preserve democracy, before it’s too late.
thank you to every Democratic governor currently contemplating redrawing their electoral maps, for finally figuring it the fuck out:
this is a war.
you’ll never guess how Republicans reacted to getting a taste of their own medicine. they fell all the fuck to pieces and started whining about how unfair Democrats are.
“it is unconstitutional. it is illegal. but here’s what’s going on. everyone across the country needs to understand this. Gavin Newsom is planning to steal five Republican house seats next year … we cannot allow Gavin Newsom to get away with it.”
oh, boo fucking hoo. eat binkie, pal.
can you believe the nerve of these crybabies?
to these hypocritical shitnozzles, it’s perfectly okay for Texas to rip up their district maps in the middle of an election cycle in order gain five more Republican seats. but if Gavin Newsom does the exact same thing to give Democrats the edge in California, suddenly they’re clutching their chests and staggering to their fainting couches.
so unfair! so unfair!
nice histrionics, pal. now dry your eyes and put on a fresh diaper. you brought this war on yourselves.
let’s talk about Texas’s 1st congressional district. from 1846 to 2005 — 159 solid years — that seat was held by a Democrat. not one Republican was elected to the House of Representatives from TX-1. then, in 2005, Republicans gerrymandered the shit out of their maps. guess who’s been TX-1’s congressman since then?
that’s right, it’s this gibbering gobshite.
Louis Gohmert. the low-wattage fuckwit who said we could fight climate change by altering the moon’s orbit. I shit you not.
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) asked during a House Natural Resources subcommittee hearing if the National Forest Service and Bureau of Land Management could change the orbits of the moon and Earth in order to help address climate change. Gohmert’s office did not respond to CNN’s requests to clarify his remarks.
thanks to rigged maps, that’s the moron who’s been representing the voters of TX-1 for the last twenty years.
Gohmert was the first Republican to represent the district since Reconstruction. Proving just how Republican the reconfigured district is, Gohmert was reelected seven times with no less than 68 percent of the vote.
and now Texas wants to rig their maps again. they want to send five more Gohmert-level nincompoops to the House, in order to preserve the Republican majority they will otherwise almost certainly lose next year.
yeah? well, fuck that shit and fuck it hard. Republicans, let me introduce you to Kathy Hochul and Gavin Newsom. they’re not playing patty-cake any more.
what the situation in Texas — where over 50 Dems have left the state in order to break quorum and block legislation — calls for is a really futile and stupid gesture, and Texas Republicans are just the people to do it.
The Texas House voted Monday afternoon to track down and arrest more than 50 Democratic lawmakers who were not present when the chamber gaveled in. After the 85-6 vote, House Speaker Dustin Burrows said he would immediately sign civil warrants for each of the legislators, empowering the chamber’s sergeant-at-arms and state troopers to arrest and bring them to the Capitol.
ooooh, scary!
this threat to arrest Dems is nothing more than a toothless and impotent bit of performative nonsense.
They will not face civil or criminal charges from the arrests. The warrants apply only within state lines, making them largely symbolic as most of the legislators in question decamped to Illinois, New York and Massachusetts to forestall passage of the GOP’s proposed redraw of Texas’ congressional map.
Abbott has threatened to remove the lawmakers from office if they do not return to vote on the Trump-backed redistricting of the state. The governor also suggested that the lawmakers have committed felonies by fundraising to pay off their $500-a-day fees for not being present.
“This truancy ends now,” Abbott said in a letter sent to each of the departed members. “The derelict Democrat House members must return to Texas and be in attendance when the House reconvenes at 3:00 PM on Monday, August 4, 2025.”
oh my god, here comes the elation again. I think I’m passing out…
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
some days, everything in the news is so unbelievably stupid that you don’t even know where to start. so let’s just spin the Big Wheel of Moron and see where it lands. ready? here we go.
why? because mean old Thomas Massie has been walking around with a big, throbbing discharge petition in his pants, and he’s been threatening to expose it to everyone.
The acrimony comes as Massie continues to push for a vote on his bipartisan resolution calling for the release of documents in the Jeffrey Epstein case, a measure many Republicans are opposed to. Massie is vowing to use a discharge petition to force a vote on the measure, something rarely used by a member of the majority.
and so Speaker Limpdick did the only thing he could. he bravely ran away, away.
Speaker Mike Johnson announced on Tuesday that he was cutting short the week’s legislative business and sending the House home early for the summer on Wednesday to avoid having to hold votes on releasing files related to the accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.
there you have it, folks. that’s the length to which the entire Republican apparatus will go to suppress every shred of evidence about the sick shit that Dear Leader and his dead pedo bestie were up to — they’ll even make themselves go fuckity-bye.
the most useless Congress in history now goes home for the rest of the summer. apart from that big ugly bill that shreds the social safety net while giving another huge tax cut to gazillionaires, they accomplished fuck-all. they couldn’t even manage to rename a post office.
now, all these worthless Republican Reps can go back to their home districts and do fuck-all at home. don’t expect these profiles in courage to hold any town halls. they all know what will happen if they do: they’ll have to listen to angry constituents scream at them about why is my health insurance gone? why did the Space Nazi get a tax cut? — and above all: why didn’t you vote to release the Epstein Files?
everyone knows that Dear Leader’s name is all over the Epstein Files. otherwise, why would every one of Donny’s enablers be working so hard to make sure those files never see the light of day?
“We had the Greatest Six Months of any President in the History of our Country, and all the Fake News wants to talk about is the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax!”
oh, boo fucking hoo. put a sock in it, you whiny jackass.
first of all, was this past six months really the greatest of any presidency? fact check:
as for the second part: Alexa, are the Epstein Files all anyone wants to talk about?
fact check: of fucking course they are — because every five minutes, new shit comes to light.
Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.
In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event.
what else should we be talking about, Donny, if not your pedo bestie? would you like us to talk about how increasingly demented and incoherent you are?would that make you happier?
you know, he has these think tanks. and they build— they build buildings for people that think. and it’s really not thinking, it’s uhh, a little bit of combination of thinking, but it’s uhh, it’s something you sort of have, or you don’t have.”
holeeeey shit.‘they build buildings for people that think.’ no, wait — they don’t just think, they do a combination of thinking. or they don’t, because it’s something only some people have.
here’s your pudding cup, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants. it’s obviously way past your bedtime.
by the way, they also build buildings for people who don’t think.
“but what we found is even more so. we found absolute— this isn’t like evidence, or the— this is like proof. irrefutable proof, that Obama was sedatious. that Obama led— was trying to lead a coup. and it was with Hillary Clinton, with all these other people. but Obama headed it up. and, if, you know, I get a kick when I hear— everyone talks about about people I never even heard of, was this— no, no, it was Obama. he headed it up. and it says so right in the papers. and everything. got everything. this is the biggest scandal in the history of our country. and it really goes on to even the autopen.”
words, do they even exist?
what is ‘sedatious,’ does anyone know? is that when you’re bodacious andseditious?
excuse me, but where are the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media? can not one of these wastes of space stand up and, at long last, finally ask what the fuck is wrong with you?
no, they can’t.
they’re all content just stand around and nod their heads, as if a diaper-loading grievance-factory hallucinating crimes and threatening to imprison his predecessor was the most normal thing in the world.
nothing to see here, right?
imagine if Joe Biden had accused Donny of trying to lead a coup. OH WAIT, THAT’S A THING THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response. But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.
Nothing in the document issued last week undercuts the widely accepted conclusion that Russia worked to influence the 2016 presidential election but did not successfully manipulate any votes. These findings were affirmed in a 2020 report by the bipartisan senate intelligence committee, led by then-chairman Marco Rubio.
“at the end of the day, we may demand that he had to come in and uh answer questions. and uh they could refuse to do that. so I’m gonna announce on your show tonight that he will receive a subpoena tomorrow, Dr. O’Connor will be the first person to receive an official subpoena. we’re serious about these people coming in, so now he’s gonna hafta come in and do a full-blown deposition as opposed to a transcribed interview.”
ooooooh, an official subpoena. so much scarier than an unofficial subpoena.
oh my god, this ass-clown is really going to go there. he’s going to try to blow up an 82-year-old former president’s cancer diagnosis into a scandal.
here’s what I say: go ahead. make our day.
here we go again. for four years, Comer Fudd and his partner in idiocy, the shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan, wasted the entire country’s time on an endless series of hearings into the imaginary crimes of Joe Biden — and the only thing the Jimmies ever really proved was that Hunter Biden is the owner of a freakishly ginormous trouser snake.
so now, Comer Fudd’s going to drag Joe Biden’s doctor, Kevin O’Connor, into some interrogation room, shine the brights lights on him, and give him the third degree.
out with it, pal. how old is Joe Biden? how old? HOW OLD???
for fuck’s sake, there’s no scandal here. Joe Biden developed a rare, fast-growing, aggressive cancer. it happens. it’s a tragedy, not a scandal.
let’s assume, however, for the sake of argument, that the diaper-fillers and the finger-pointers are correct — that Joe Biden developed this cancer during his presidency and kept it a secret. somebody please explain how it’s a scandal. explain it to me like I’m five years old, because I’m just not getting it. so fucking what?did it change the course of history? absolutely not.Biden dropped out of the race, and the Democrats lost the presidency, the House and the Senate.
you’d think that literally winning everything would be enough for these fuckface shitweasels — but no, it’s not enough. they have to kick Joe Biden when he’s down — because they’re psychopaths, and, as always, cruelty is the point.
look, you creeps — you want a realscandal to investigate? here you go: there is a president right now in the Oval Office whose brain has quite obviously gone fuckity-bye. we know jack shit about his health.we’ve never ever seen one actual medical report on the overweight 78-year-old who never exercises, lives on a diet of junk food, and brags about being able to point to the drawing of a camel.
how about someone subpoena Mad King Donny’s doctor and ask him how an allegedly blown-to-bits ear magically grows back with no scarring in less than a week’s time. I’d really fucking love to know how that’s possible.
but I’m hoping that a closed-door session doesn’t satisfy Comer. I’m rooting for Comer to announce public hearings, because the country could really use a good laugh right now.
we need a round of good-old clownfucktacular hearings like we had all through Biden’s presidency, where an unprepared Comer got repeatedly dick-punched by Democrats like Jasmine Crockett and Jared Moskowitz.
“but when we start talking about things that look like evidence, they want to act like they blind. they don’t know what this is. these are our national secrets, looks like in the shitter to me. this looks like more evidence of our national secrets, on a stage at Mar-a-Lago. … I could go on, but he’s got 91 counts pending right now. but I will tell you what President Biden has been guilty of: loving his child unconditionally, and that is the only evidence that they have brought forward, and honestly, I hope and pray that my parents love me half as much as he loves his child. until they find some evidence, we need to get back to the peoples’ work, which means keeping this government open so that people don’t go hungry in the streets of the United States, and I will yield.”
Moskowitz: “I just think we should do it today. let’s just call for it. I’ll make the motion, Mr. Chairman, I want to help you out. you can second it, right? I make the motion to impeach President Biden. go ahead. your turn. you can second it.”
Comer: “gggyyyy”
Moskowitz: “no. nothing. ok, we got nothing. so, with my last couple of minutes, I want to show the American people that they’re never going to impeach Joe Biden. it’s never going to happen. because they don’t have the evidence. ok? this is a show. it’s all fake.”
“no evidence” — that’s why Comer Fudd always came out of those dog-and-pony shows looking like a damned fool. he never had any evidence. just a feeling that Joe Biden is guilty of crimes because of course Joe Biden is guilty of crimes.no, Jimmy, that’s not how it works. that’s not how any of this works. if you make an accusation, you back it up with evidence.
and now, Comer’s going to make all those same mistakes all over again. because once again, he has no evidence that Joe Biden covered up his cancer diagnosis. just feelings.
come on, Comer. hold some hearings. you know you want to.
In an executive order, Mr. Trump put the power and resources of the federal government to work examining whether some of Mr. Biden’s presidential actions were legally invalid because his aides had enacted those policies without his knowledge.
Donny is hella mad about all the preemptive pardons that Biden issued to Donny’s enemies, because now he can’t go after General Milley or Dr. Fauci for their imaginary crimes. so Donny’s convinced himself that all those pardons are invalid because Biden didn’t actually sign them himself.
yeah, no. there’s no ahem evidence that Biden’s aides pulled any of that kind of shit, but so what? Donny doesn’t need evidence. like Comer Fudd, Donny has feelings.
so, let’s recap. the current entity pretending to be Joe Biden is a not-smart malfunctioning crime-robot with cancer. and, on top of that, the BidenBot5000™ is so demented that his handlers were able to sign documents without his knowledge.
does Donny ever listen to any of the crap that oozes out of his rancid anus-mouth?
by the way, here’s a fact check. presidential pardons don’t need to be signed. there’s nothing in the Constitution that requires it. this whole fucking obsession of Donny’s is just one more waste of everyone’s time.
all this batshittery is ludicrous, but it serves a purpose. it functions as a distraction, meant to take the public’s eye off the ‘big beautiful bill’ that guts Medicaid in order to hand our oligarch overlords another round of extravagant tax cuts.
it’s also a distraction from Donny’s own absymal failings as a president, and a human being.
This vote is gonna be on your record for longer than [Cankles] is gonna be president. And what are you going to do in 2028 and 2030 when you’re in a debate … and they ask, ‘How can we trust you? You covered up for a pedophile back in 2025.'” ~ Thomas Massie, GOP Congressman from Knetucky, taking his own party to task.
