Once a legitimate blog. Now just a collection of memes 'n menz.
Category: Fuck This Bullshit
Posted on
What’s Going On
As Trump continues to flail in the aftermath of his disastrous handling of the economy, the Epstein files, and now a new war in the Middle East, he took to Truth Social with a pretty unhinged threat:
If Democrats don’t agree to his demands, he’s going to send ICE agents into airports to handle security and start making arrests.
So if airport security already feels chaotic right now, it’s about to get a whole lot worse.
Here’s What They’re Doing
Democrats have put forward multiple standalone bills to fund TSA (and FEMA and the Coast Guard), which Republicans have blocked six times as of March 20.
They want DHS fully funded: no concessions, no conditions, no accountability. Now, Democrats are absolutely open to funding the department, but with some basic guardrails: no masks, ICE agents must identify themselves, requiring judicial warrants to enter private property, and stay away from polling places.
You know, baseline following the law. All of which is completely reasonable. Republicans keep rejecting this anyway. So, instead of funding TSA and ending this immediately, they’re making the conscious decision to hold up funding and use the chaos as leverage.
Why it Matters Right Now
This workaround isn’t going to fix the problem. Sending untrained ICE agents in to triage long security lines packed with travelers on edge is not setting them up for success. Now we have ICE playing the role of TSA at US airports. Moving on from their previous role as “law enforcement” in American cities. We all saw how that went. What could possibly go wrong this time?
Spin vs. Reality
They’re saying: Democrats are causing the chaos at airports. What’s actually happening: Republicans are blocking standalone TSA funding and tying it to unrelated DHS demands.
They’re saying: This is about making airports “safe again.” What’s actually happening: They’re proposing to replace TSA agents with ICE agents, who aren’t trained to perform security screenings (let alone anything else).
They’re saying: Democrats won’t negotiate. What’s actually happening: Democrats agreed to fund DHS with basic guardrails. Democrats put forth multiple clean bills to fund TSA. Republicans rejected all of it.
Who Loses
It’s the travelers stuck in endless security lines at the peak of Spring Break travel. It’s exhausted TSA agents forced to work without pay, doing double duty as more and more employees, understandably, call out of work. It’s the airlines forced to hold flights, leading to a domino effect that will cause delays across the country. And it’s travelers coming into the country whose first interaction will now be with the same trigger-happy losers whose actions have scared off tourists and now threaten the upcoming World Cup. (Which the already decimated tourism industry is counting on for a much needed boost.)
In the DHS funding standoff, TSA is the main pain point. It’s the one arm of the department that most regular people interact with most often. As the wait times at security get longer, and lines snake out onto the sidewalk, it’s regular Americans who are feeling the pain here.
The Pattern Here
We have the complete breakdown of an apolitical agency that performs a basic function for everyone. And we have one party using America’s headache for leverage.
The Republicans are once again holding American’s basic needs hostage in order to extract some completely unrealistic concessions from Democrats. Before it was healthcare, this time it’s the TSA (and FEMA, and the Coast Guard, so you’d better hope there’s no natural disasters or maritime… “excursions” before this is over.) How will they inconvenience us next for political gain?
Bottom Line
This could all be over tomorrow. Congress could fund TSA, agents would get their paychecks and return to work. Delays would disappear. Democrats want to do it. It’s Republicans who refuse to offer a single compromise.
Posted on
In just over a year, things didn’t just change. They distorted.
Not all at once, not in a single moment you could point to and say, there, that’s when it broke, it was slower than that, more insidious, like something bending just slightly out of place over and over again until one day you look around and realize nothing sits where it used to, and the strangest part is not the chaos itself, it is the way it is being presented back to us as normal, as reasonable, as something we are supposed to adjust to without question.
We are living through a time where leaders stand at podiums and speak about God while starting wars that leave children buried under rubble. They invoke faith while funding violence. They talk about sacrifice, but the sacrifice is never theirs.
It is always yours. It is always the people choosing between groceries and rent, the people watching gas prices climb while being told to be patient, to understand the bigger picture, to do their part. It is always the families absorbing the cost of decisions they never made, while those same leaders frame rising costs as necessary, as unavoidable, as the price of something bigger, even as billions continue to move freely through a system that somehow always has room for excess.
People are being told to tighten their budgets and brace for impact, told to accept higher costs as necessary, while the Pentagon spends tens of billions in a single month, with millions going not just to defense but to luxury food, lobster and crab, steak, furniture, electronics, even items that signal comfort and status rather than necessity, a level of spending that makes it painfully clear that austerity is not a shared condition, it is something imposed, all while it is burning through roughly a billion dollars a day on a senseless war.
At the same time, people are calculating groceries down to the dollar and watching their cost of living climb in real time, while those in power continue to move through private golf courses, luxury properties, political fundraisers, and expansion projects like ballrooms, operating inside a world that remains untouched by the consequences they are asking everyone else to absorb.
So when they stand there and talk about sacrifice, what they mean is your sacrifice. When they talk about endurance, what they mean is your endurance. When they tell you to bear the cost, what they mean is that the cost will not be theirs. They say it with a straight face. They say it while looking directly into the camera, as if the disconnect is not obvious, as if we cannot see the gap between what they preach and how they live, as if invoking God somehow cleanses the cruelty of what they are doing.
That is the part that unsettles something deep in the body, because it is not just policy and it is not just economics. It is the moral inversion of it all, the rewriting of right and wrong in real time, where greed calls itself strength, where cruelty calls itself practicality, and where indifference calls itself leadership.
If you have found yourself feeling like you are losing your grip on reality, like you are constantly trying to reconcile what you know to be true with what you are being told is true, that is not a failure in you, that is your awareness working exactly as it should, this moment has demanded something unnatural from people, it has asked you to watch suffering and call it strategy, to watch excess and call it success, to watch hypocrisy dressed up as righteousness and pretend not to notice, it has asked you to go numb.
And a lot of people have. You can see it and you can feel it, the quiet checking out, the “this is just how things are now,” the slow acceptance of things that not long ago would have stopped us in our tracks, but not everyone has gone there, there are still people who see clearly.
There is still something in people that resists, and you can see it in the anger that will not settle, in the discomfort that will not go away, in that persistent feeling that something is wrong even when the noise is telling you everything is fine, and that is not weakness and that is not overreaction, that is the part of you that still recognizes truth when it sees it, and that matters more than anything right now.
What is happening is not just political, it is not just about one administration or one set of policies, it is about the normalization of a way of thinking that separates power from consequence, that allows people to make decisions that reshape millions of lives while remaining untouched by the outcomes of those decisions, it is about a system where those in charge can tell you to endure hardship while actively insulating themselves from it, and then call that leadership, call it necessary, and somehow call it good.
There is a kind of psychological strain that comes from living inside that contradiction every day, from seeing clearly and being told not to trust what you see, from feeling deeply and being told you are overreacting, from watching people justify things that should never need justification. It wears on you. It makes time feel strange and reality feel unstable. But here is the truth that I think a lot of people need to hear right now.
If you feel disoriented, it is because you are paying attention. If you feel angry, it is because something in you still knows what should not be accepted. If you feel like the world has been turned upside down, it is because in many ways it has, and choosing not to adapt to that upside-down version of reality is not a failure, it is clarity.
There is power in refusing to normalize what should not be normal. There is power in holding onto your sense of right and wrong, even when it is inconvenient, even when it isolates you, even when it makes you the uncomfortable voice in the room, because that discomfort is honest, and honesty is becoming rarer by the day.
We are living in a time where people are being asked, very quietly and very consistently, to trade their humanity for comfort, to look away just enough to make it easier to function, to accept just enough to avoid conflict, and every time someone refuses to do that, it matters, every time someone says no, this is not okay, it matters, every time someone feels the weight of what is happening instead of numbing it out, it matters, that is how reality holds, not through the loudest voices and not through the people in power, but through the people who refuse to let what is happening rewrite their understanding of what is right.
So if this past year has left you feeling like something is off, like things do not add up, like the world is asking you to accept something you cannot accept, hold onto that, because that feeling is not confusion, it is recognition, and as long as that recognition is still there, as long as there are people who can still see clearly, still feel deeply, and still question what they are being told, this is not over.
Not even close.
A Note From Me:
I hope this helped put words to something you may have been feeling but couldn’t quite name, that quiet, persistent sense that something is off, that things don’t quite add up, that what you are being told does not fully align with what you are seeing and feeling in your own body. That subtle dissonance, the moments where you pause and question if it’s just you, if you’re overthinking it, if you’re the only one noticing, that is not something imagined. It is something many people are carrying, often silently, often without the language to say it out loud. You are not alone in that.
I try to write pieces like this because what we are living through is not just political, it is emotional, it is disorienting, and it is hard to make sense of in real time. I try to put language to that feeling, while also breaking down what is actually happening so we are not just feeling it, but understanding it. The context, the research, the clarity, and also the anger, the real, human anger that comes from watching things that should not be happening, happen anyway.
You are not untouchable, and you cannot keep hiding behind the presidency. Your crimes cannot be ignored any longer, and the world will not look away. You were a part of Jeffrey Epstein’s circle, walking alongside a predator, and in doing so you revealed the predator you have been all your life. You protected each other for so long and you now continue to shield countless powerful people who know the truth. The world knows it. The victims know it. You are a perverted, disgusting, vile, and corrupt asshole, a moral disgrace who has embarrassed the entire world, betrayed every standard of decency, and left a trail of destruction and humiliation that touches everyone unlucky enough to have crossed your path.
Decades of sexual abuse trail you, and a jury has already found you liable. Your own words and actions leave no doubt: you are not misunderstood, you are dangerous, and you have no regard for anyone you harm. You survive by lying, deflecting, and weaponizing every accusation, turning every consequence into fuel for your rallies while ignoring the suffering of every victim.
Your presidency will not keep protecting you. Justice will reach you. Evidence does not bend to fear, and no amount of power or influence can shield you from accountability. Power can delay justice, but it cannot stop it. You will face it, and you will answer for everything.
Thomas Massie, Republican Representative from Kentucky, on the power behind the Epstein coverup:
“Last night I received a flash drive containing the complete list of files belonging to Jeffrey Epstein. Everything is there: every billionaire, every campaign donor, every single person. Now let me explain why you haven’t heard anything about this in the media. Because they’re all in there. They will do everything to prevent these documents from being made public. Epstein was far more than just a pedophile; he was an intelligence asset. He was part of a blackmail operation used to control billionaires, politicians, and world leaders. If this list ever sees the light of day, the system as we know it will collapse. The public has the right to know the truth, and I am not afraid to share it.”
once again, everything in the news is so unbelievably stupid that I don’t even know where to start. so I’m just going to spin the Big Wheel of Moron™ and see where it lands. ready? here we go.
Just spoke to Pres. Trump. I asked him if he had seen the video of Rep. Omar being attacked and sprayed by a substance.
“No. I don’t think about her. I think she’s a fraud. I really don’t think about that. She probably had herself sprayed, knowing her,” the president said.
I asked again if he had seen the video.
“I haven’t seen it. No, no. I hope I don’t have to bother.”
and just like that, Donny Convict continues his 79-year-long unbroken streak of being the worst fucking person on the planet.
can we get Wonkette’s Rebecca Schoenkopf in here for a minute? she’s so good at putting into words what we’re all feeling right now.
thanks, Rebecca.
this fucking guy. he admits he hasn’t seen — and doesn’t want to see — the video of the assault, but that doesn’t keep him from running his ignorant mouth about it.
he thinks the attack on Rep. Omar is a hoax, because of course he does. Donny hates Omar — because he’s a fucking racist — and, because he doesn’t have a single ounce of decency in his rotting body, he can’t even mumble some halfhearted third-grade-level statement about ‘bad. so bad. we’re all wishing her well.’
what kind festering cum-sock hears about a woman being sprayed with some noxious liquid and goes ‘oh yeah, I’ll bet she did it to herself.’ who the fuck even thinks like that?
you know what? I’ll bet by crying ‘hoax!’, Donny’s telling on himself again — because with as always with this shithead, every accusation is a confession.
look, I don’t want to be a conspiracy guy. it’s really not my thing. but for the life of me, I’m still trying to figure out how Donny’s blown-to-bits ear magically regenerated itself.
CNN’s Manu Raju: “the president called you a loser.”
Tillis: “I am thrilled about that. that makes me qualified to be Homeland Security Secretary *and* senior adviser to the president.”
let’s be clear-eyed about this, Thom Tillis is not our friend. he’s as xenophobic as they come. he’s totally down with ICE rounding up immigrants and shipping them to who the fuck cares, and he thinks they should be doing more of that shit. he’s just mad at ICE Barbie and Nosferatu McGoebbels for fucking up.
still, his response to Donny is so perfect that it’s hard not to be heartbroken about it.
well, that was fun. let’s give another spin to the Big Wheel of Moron™.
after his humiliating shitcanning and banishment from Minneapolis, you might have hoped that Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino would have had the decency to scamper back into his cigar box, close the lid, and never be heard from again.
fat chance. the Itsy-Bitsy Nazi is so high on his own supply that he stopped off at Mount Rushmore and took a victory lap.
“team, behind me are a few individuals there. that’s the original ‘turn and burn,’ the folks that help make American. but you know what? I’m very proud of what you, the ‘mean green machine,’ are doing in Minneapolis right now, just like you’ve done it across the United States over these past tough nine months. and I want you to know, you’re the modern day equivalent of ‘turn and burn.’ it makes me very proud. I also want you to know that I’ve got your back now, and always. I love you. I support you, and I salute you.”
I’ll bet that speech is even more impressive in its original German.
‘turn and burn,’ by the way, is Gestapo Greg’s pet name for the fascist shit he’s pulled in Minneapolis, Los Angeles and elsewhere. and this racist little fireplug is so arrogant, he thinks the dudes carved into Rushmore — George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln — would be totally be high-fiving him for his lawless behavior.
how delusional is that?
free clue for the Fascist In A Teacup: no, no, no, no, and fuck no. none of those homeys would approve of your banty rooster antics. stop shitting all the over Constitution and pick up a fucking history book, Greg. you might learn something.
tonight, Donny and his Slovenian rent-a-wife are attending a Kennedy Center screening of the Melania movie — the so-called ‘film’ that everyone knows is going to be a twenty-megaton box office disaster.
one ticket! now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter. ready?
and now comes the part where the worthless scribblers of The New York Times corruptionwash that shit.
come on, Grey Lady — stop pulling your punches. nobody is ‘questioning’Amazon’s motives. everyone knows exactly what this is all about: naked corruption. it’s Jeff Bezos burning through millions of dollars in order to curry favor with Dear Leader.
Melania Convict is the least-interesting person on the planet, and nobody — absolutely nobody — was clamoring for a documentary about her.
despite that, Bezos gave Melania FORTY MILLION DOLLARS for the rights to her ‘story.’ Amazon spent five million dollars on production, and another thirty-five million on promotion. that’s eighty fucking million dollars for a film which is predicted to take in about one million at the box office.
one hand washes the other, am I right? blatant corruption doesn’t get any more blatantly corrupt than that.
oh, and in England, where the premiere sold one ticket? rejoice, everyone — UK ticket sales have skyrocketed to six!
Vue, a major European cinema operator, is offering nine showings (451 seats in all) at its multiplex in York, England, from Friday through Sunday, one analyst noted. As of Wednesday, it had sold six seats.
now here’s a question for you all: do you think these two lovebirds will take separate cars to the screening?
and now for your hero of the day — some obscure songwriter who probably no one’s ever heard of, Bruce Springsteen.
I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Stay free.
and just like that, Springsteen continues his seventy-six-year-long unbroken streak of being fucking awesome.
let’s give it a listen.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other
is the leader of your country crazier than a shithouse rat? is he out wandering in the tall weeds, where the buses don’t run? is he a few sandwiches short of a fucking brain?
here’s one sure way to tell: does he spend his time rage-posting stark barking bonkers threats to take over other countries?
fact check for the United States: yes, he does. lucky us.
holy. fucking shit. 445 words — every single one of them delusional.
this may be the dumbfuckiest thing Donny’s ever posted. there’s no polite way of sugar-coating this: Dear Leader is coo-coo for cocoa puffs.
before we even begin wading through the content of this crazypants post, we need to remind ourselves that we’ve become so normalized to Donny’s behavior, it’s easy to forget that how utterly fucking insane it is.
it’s not normal for a head of state to spend all day and all night crapping out hundreds of posts an hour onto an app he paid someone to create after getting banned from twitter for doing an insurrection.
and on no planet is it normal for a world leader to conduct high-level foreign policy via a medium that was invented for looking at cat pictures and gossiping about celebrities.
no other president or prime minister does this. France’s Macron isn’t up all night whining about every grievance on some crappy app he’s named La Vérité Sociale. he has better things to do with his time. oh, and he’s a mature adult, not some diapershitting rage-baby.
that said, let us now gird the shit out of our loins, and take a deep dive into Donny’s post. all girded up? okay, here we go.
We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back — World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that!
delusions of grandeur much?
Donny might as well just shove a Napoleon hat onto his head and declare himself Emperor of the Universe.
fun fact: we already have a US military base in Greenland. we can already defend the country if need be — and trust me, China and Russia couldn’t give a fuck about Greenland. it’s of no strategic value to them, and Greenland’s resources are too expensive to extract.
Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land,
this is where you can invoke the ‘in my pants’ rule. ‘nobody will touch this sacred piece of land — in my pants.’
especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown.
not for ‘purposes unknown,’ you deranged rodeo clown.
eight NATO countries have taken the extraordinary step of pledging military support for Greenland — to protect them from a maniac who spends his idle hours pointing at random countries on a globe and going ‘mine now.’
it’s as if Donny is starring in a version of Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator — except one that’s not funny.
oh wait, we already had a version of The Great Dictator that wasn’t funny. it was called The Third Reich.
look at where we are right now, thanks to Donny’s imperialistic fever dreams: it’s us versus NATO. can you fucking imagine that? we used to lead NATO, and now we’re a pariah state.
ace job, Donny. take a fucking victory lap. our next president is going to have so much to clean up after, that it’s going to take years to glue all the pieces back together.
This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.
‘a level of risk in play that is not sustainable’ — in my pants.
Therefore, it is imperative that, in order to protect Global Peace and Security, strong measures be taken so that this potentially perilous situation end quickly, and without question. Starting on February 1st, 2026, all of the above mentioned Countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland), will be charged a 10% Tariff on any and all goods sent to the United States of America. On June 1st, 2026, the Tariff will be increased to 25%. This Tariff will be due and payable until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Greenland.
tariffs again — because why not? let’s have a trade war and a land war. what could possibly go wrong?
sure, let’s punish American shoppers and raise the price of everything — again — because Donny’s Big Mad about NATO not letting him do an imperialism.
tell me, what ever happened to the lie about how tariffs were going to make everything cheaper? Donny’s not even bothering to spin that bullshit any more. now he’s just using tariffs to punish other counties who won’t obey his orders — because Donny doesn’t care how, he wants Greenland now.
The United States has been trying to do this transaction for over 150 years. Many Presidents have tried, and for good reason, but Denmark has always refused.
fact check: holy shit, Donny said something that’s actually true. three times in the past, we’ve floated the idea of buying Greenland from Denmark. in each instance, the Danes politely declined. you know why? because they’re a sovereign fucking nation, and have the right to say no. oh silly me, I forgot that Donny isn’t big on consent.
Now, because of The Golden Dome, and Modern Day Weapons Systems, both Offensive and Defensive, the need to ACQUIRE is especially important.
‘the need to ACQUIRE is especially important’ — in my pants.
Hundreds of Billions of Dollars are currently being spent on Security Programs having to do with “The Dome,” including for the possible protection of Canada, and this very brilliant, but highly complex system can only work at its maximum potential and efficiency, because of angles, metes, and bounds, if this Land is included in it.
again with the ‘Golden Dome,’ Donny’s own version of Reagan’s ‘Star Wars’ missile defense shield — except this one’s batshittier, more unpractical and more expensive than St. Ronnie’s ever was. and it’s gold, because of course it is. this fucking child and his infantile obsession with gold.
I have an idea. instead of flushing hundreds of billion of dollars down the toilet on an unworkable waste of time that will never be built, why don’t we have affordable healthcare in our country?
silly me for even asking. you don’t have to say it, I’ll just go proactively fuck myself.
The United States of America is immediately open to negotiation with Denmark and/or any of these Countries that have put so much at risk, despite all that we have done for them, including maximum protection, over so many decades. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
‘thank you for your attention to this matter’ — in my pants.
DONALD J. TRUMP
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
“There must be a price to pay, and it has got to be a BIG ONE!”
everybody say it with me: ‘there has got to be a BIG ONE’ — in my pants.
it’s definitely time to do a palate cleanse with our hero of the day: Abigail Spanberger, who was sworn into office yesterday, becoming Virginia’s first woman governor.
On her first day as Governor, Abigail Spanberger made a decisive move: she vetoed Executive Order 47, ending Virginia’s participation in the federal 287(g) program that allowed local law enforcement to act as ICE agents.
awesome. more like this, please.
have a great Sunday, everyone.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
You like playing a WWII German, Greg? Well, here’s a nice German word for you:
How many times do we need to go through this? Is it going to be every generation’s burden to smash these fascist assholes into the ground going forward, or is there some way to purge this Nazi bullshit from human consciousness once and for all?
This does not lead to the Star Trek future so many of us actively envision and want. (Granted, there were Nazis in Star Trek canon but they were on a single planet whose society had been poisoned by a rogue Star Fleet captain. And then there was the whole “alternate universe” thing introduced in some of the more recent series, but for the most part, that was not where humans in the Star Trek universe went.)
What do you think? Are we destined to forever ride this karmic wheel, switching roles between aggressor and victim each lifetime ad nauseum?
loyal and patriotic citizens, please stand by for a message of the utmost importance from the President of the United States, Supreme Ruler of the Western Hemisphere, Lord-Emperor of the Sky Above and All the Planets, and God’s Own Avatar on Earth.
Trump makes obscene gesture, mouths expletive at Detroit factory heckler
“As far as calling him out, definitely no regrets whatsoever,” the heckler told The Post after a video captured Trump twice mouthing “f— you” and raising his middle finger.
here’s how that shit went down: Donny’s handlers got the bright idea to let him out of his gilded bordello, so he could tour a Ford factory in Detroit — and that’s when factory worker TJ Sabula won himself the Nobel Heckling Prize by shouting “pedophile protector!” at Dear Leader.
Out of frame in the video, a person can be heard yelling “pedophile protector” just before Trump mouthed the insult — an apparent reference to the Trump administration’s handling of the investigation into the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
‘an apparent reference’ — oh, Washington Post, you’re adorable. never change.
another day, another perfectly presidential performance from our Toddler-in-Chief.
by the way, Ford has suspended TJ Sabula, ‘pending an investigation.’
I have a question: pending an investigation of what? is Ford going to investigate whether or not Donny protects pedophiles? because we’ve already sussed that shit out.
fact check:
should anyone really be surprised by Dear Leader’s infantile behavior? after all, Donny’s been giving us the finger for years now, on a daily basis.
what, you want sane governance? fuck you. you want peace and justice? fuck you. you want coherent economic policies? fuck you.
you want honesty and accountability? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t lie straight to your face? fuck you.
you want a president who doesn’t use the government to enrich himself? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t see you as a rube to be fleeced? fuck you.
you want to be able to walk down the street without getting assaulted by masked and armed government thugs? fuck you.
you want to see those Dead Pedo Bestie files? fuck you twice.
reporter: “the premier of Greenland said today, ‘we prefer to stay with Denmark.’”
Donny: “who said that?”
reporter: “the premier of Greenland.”
Donny: “well, that’s their problem. that’s their problem. I disagree with him. I don’t know who he is. don’t know anything about him. but that’s gonna be a big problem for him.”
‘that’s going to be a big problem for him’? what the fuck? this isn’t how a head of government talks. this is how a gangster talks. Donny’s answer could have come straight out of the mouth of Tony Soprano.
what, you want a president who doesn’t sound like a mob boss? fuck you.
you want a president who at least bothers to learn the names of the people who lead the countries he’s so horny to invade? fuck you.
you want a president who doesn’t destabilize the world just to feed his ego, and shit all over decades-old alliances? fuck you.
Donny didn’t just tour that Ford factory during his playdate. he also gave a speech to the Detroit Economic Club.
“how about the swimming records? I mean you could go to sleep during the time the man comes in and the woman. you could go take a nap for a little while. how about the long-distance race that took place not so long ago? long long distances. marathon deals. they had top men, top women. man came in. THE WOMAN CAME IN FIVE HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS behind the man. think of it. you’re waiting. the man comes in. now you’re waiting five hours. what do you do? you can go home and sleep for a while. who the hell wants that? it’s so demeaning to women who are great athletes. demeaning to them. and it’s right now in the Supreme Court. I can’t believe it would even go to the Supreme Court.”
what the fuck is Donny gibbering about? what does any of the fever-swamp nonsense that just seeped from his rancid anus-mouth have to do with economics?
what, you want a president whose rotting brain doesn’t pinball incoherently from one subject to the next? fuck you.
you want a president who doesn’t obsess over stupid bullshit? fuck you.
you want a president who doesn’t manage to be both transphobic and misogynistic at the same time? fuck you.
what, you want a president with an ounce of empathy for the woman who was gunned down by one of his own armed thugs? fuck you.
“one of the reasons they’re doing these fake riots— I mean they’re just terrible. I mean you see it’s so fake. ‘shame! shame! shame!’ you see the woman. it’s all practiced. they go practice. they go to— there is— they take hotel rooms and they all practice together. it’s a whole same. we’re finding out whose funding all this stuff, too. we pretty much know.”
once again: what the fuck is this lunatic babbling about? none of that shit is happening. nobody is ‘rioting,’ they’re peacefully protesting — and what even is a ‘fake riot’? women aren’t practicing in hotel rooms. nobody is getting paid to protest. We the People loathe Donny so much we’ll happily protest for free.
this the stupidest shit you’ll hear all day, and Donny believes every word of it.
what, you want a president whose brain hasn’t been pickled from marinating in the dumbfuckiest of conspiracy theories? fuck you.
Laura Ingraham: “there was one dimwit in the scene who screamed something about Epstein. Trump flipped him the bird. I hope it was the thunderbird.”
hey, Laura, you know what? fuck your feelings.
good lord. if Joe Biden had ever flipped off a factory worker in public, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would have shit a massive brick, and turned it into a month-long scandal.
Our Detroit staff has received reports from Ford workers that the President’s body odor was ‘like bad breath mixed with feces — I can’t describe it, but I’ll never forget it.’ yikes.”
is it true? who the fuck knows? it’s certainly believable.
and lastly, let me leave you with some words of wisdom.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
as another stupid year comes to a close in America, let’s remember some of the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
note: this is a long post. some email apps — gmail in particular — may truncate it. if this happens to you, click “view entire message” or “view in browser” or go here to see the entire post.
in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder, big strong conservatives, tears in their eyes, have been falling all the fuck over each other in a mad dash to lionize Charlie as a great man. one of the greatest men. a man like no one’s ever seen before. a man like no one thought possible. possibly the greatest man of all time.
Texas Rep. Troy Nehls: “Charlie Kirk was a man of faith, first and foremost. he loved his Lord Jesus, he loved his family, beautiful wife, beautiful children. just a remarkable, honorable man that was silenced with this assassin’s bullet. I would say if Charlie Kirk lived in the biblical times, he’d have been the 13th disciple.”
I’m going to have to disagree with Rep. Nehls, because I’m pretty sure that had the Kirkster lived in biblical times, he’d have been one of the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse. Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, and Charlie.
it must be pointed out that the creator of this nightmare fuel, Simon Hedges, is most certainly not a wingnut, and produced that image as a goof. however, that didn’t stop the internet from doing what the internet does best: fail to recognize a joke.
by the way, after I’m finished writing today’s post, I will be sending an angry email to myself demanding that I fire me for being insufficiently respectful to Charlie Kirk.
it’s easy to forget, given the firehose of fucknuttery that is our current timeline, that DOGE is still a thing — and that a certain three-toed freak of nature chairs an entire House subcommittee about it.
that’s right, Congresswoman Sporkfoot is still holding pointless hearings, where she drags in some poor unfortunate expert and harangues them about whatever batshit is seeping from her head.
Marjorie Taylor Greene: “did man create the Ice Age?” witness: “no” Greene: “right. so none of were alive back then to know for sure.”
Congresswoman, are we sure about that, that none of us were alive back then? I’m asking because the Museum of Confluences in Lyon, France, features an exhibit on Neanderthals —
and there’s a woman in that exhibition who looks pretty goddamn familiar.
so I want to ask you again, Congresswoman, are you sure none of us were alive back then?
remember, you’re under oath.
October 1: give that skateboard the Nobel Peace Prize
[ten seconds of silence, as Grassley’s mouth moves, after which Lindsey Graham reaches over and turn on his mic] “I forgot to turn on my microphone. let me start again.”
I know, that’s pretty fucking funny — but let’s cut Chuckie Gee a break. as you know, he was first elected to the Senate in 1782 — and the US Capitol building wasn’t electrified until 1910. you know what they say about old dogs learning new tricks.
I gotta tell you, though: those ten seconds, when Chuckles was flapping his ancient gums and no sounds was coming out — those were the most peaceful ten seconds of my entire life.
October 20: hey Donny, I can see the Epstein Ballroom from up here
oh, how cuuuuute! someone strapped Secretary of Defense Flippy McCrushnuts into the child seat of a fighter jet, and took him for a joyride.
let’s be crystal fucking clear about this: Pete Kegstand was a passenger. no way was he flying the plane — not with his blood-alcohol level.
of course, the Department of Defense went out of their way to crop that video in a way that implied Piss-Drunk Pete was piloting that jet — because that’s what you do when your SecDef is a banty rooster with a paper-thin ego in need of constant affirmation that he’s something other than a two-bit Fox News weekend chat-show dunk-tank clown.
sure, but you know doesn’t have a functioning brain? MAGA, that’s who. those dumbfucks immediately started punching the air and going ‘Kegstand, fuck yeah!’
Community Notes, could you please explain to MAGA what they’re too dim to grasp on their own?
Amanda Grace: “so, I want to speak to these people that want to take part in these ceremonies today. that want to take part in horrific wickedness today. you are nothing more than a slave to Satan and his kingdom. he hates you, he cannot stand you, because whether you like it or not, you’re made in the image of God. and you are just a means to his end. you are a slave to his exploits. you are in bondage to do his bidding.”
lighten the fuck up, Francis.
holy shit, lady. I just wanted to dole out some candy to kids.
I’m pretty sure Satan has more important stuff on his plate right now, what with an entire White House to run.
seriously, could evangelicals please shut the fuck up already and let the rest of us have our fun? it’s not our fault that you can’t find joy in anything, so stop shitting all over ours.
November 13: first they came for whatever the fuck this is
Florida Rep. An Appalling Lunatic went on Newsmax and — [taps earpiece] hold on, I’m being informed that the Florida rep’s name is actually Anna Paulina Luna. goddammit, I keep making this mistake. sorry about that, Anna. let me start over.
Newsmax: “you’re on the record talking about, quote ‘non-human life-forms that could be interdimensional beings who are visiting us.’ can you just explain more, so people at home might know what that means.”
Lunatic: “yes, so that’s definitely a mouthful, but that is directly based on information that we received from witnesses. also information that we have obtained and witnessed via our investigations. there is some stuff that I can’t disclose what I have immediately seen in some of these SCIFs, but what I will tell you is, this is not some crazy conspiracy theory.”
spoiler alert: yes is it. it’s a crazy conspiracy theory.
I’d like to ask Anna if these interdimensional beings are in the room with us right now, but I’m afraid that she’d respond ‘yes, they are. duh. can’t you see them?’
this is why An Appalling Lunatic got herself elected to office — not to help her constituents, or to make anyone’s life better — but, apparently, to get to the bottom of whatever the fuck this is.
“and I sit as the high judge. NO ONE CAN IMPEACH ME. AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO IMPEACH TRUMP. I HAVE APPOINTED HIM— ANOINTED HIM. HE IS MY PRESIDENT FOR AMERICA, AND WILL BE SO UNTIL I AM FINISHED WITH HIS ASSIGNMENT.”
I’m kinda skeptical. if the Omnipotent Big Guy in the Sky were actually speaking through Kat, I’m pretty sure he’d know the difference between ‘appointed’ and ‘anointed.’
hey, I can also pretend that God is speaking through me. all I have to do is type in all caps. watch: HEY KAT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
and please, let’s not mock Iwona for it. she didn’t choose her name, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s already endured a lifetime of teasing.
but there is one thing I’d like to ask Ms. Horyn’s parents.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
why didn’t the person filling out the birth certificate snatch the baby out of Mother Horyn’s hands and say ‘you can have her back when you come to your senses.’
we don’t know how Iwona feels about any of this. she’s not saying. neither is her husband, Hugh G. Rection.
podcast bro Joe Rogan’s whole deal is that he’s a credulous meathead. he’ll sit there like a lump as some raving conspiracy loon barks out the batshittiest fever-swamp hallucinations imaginable — after which Joe will nod his head, take a long drag off a joint, and go ‘huh. I didn’t know that.’
“Jesus was born out of a virgin mother. what’s more virgin than a computer? if Jesus does return, even if Jesus was a physical person in the past, you don’t think he could return as artificial intelligence? artificial intelligence could absolutely return as Jesus.”
I think it’s high time (see what I did there?) for Joe Rogan to put down the joint — because I’m pretty sure he meant ‘Jesus could absolutely return as AI.’
this unknown twitterer says it far better than I ever could.
as someone who attended high school in the early 1970s and had many friends with older brothers, I can confirm that this is 100% true.
we should check in with Erika Kirk, the widow of misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. she’s been though some shit lately. what’s that, Erika? you’ve got a ‘holiday season message’ for us?
“HOLIDAY MESSAGE: @MrsErikaKirk shares her — and what would have been Charlie’s — holiday season message: ‘Just rest…Love on your babies. Love on your family members. Life is short.’ Find Charlie Kirk’s final work, ‘Stop, in the Name of God,’ at http://45Books.com.”
hang on, did Erika actually end that message with a book plug? oh yes, she fucking well did!
yup, they’ve recreated the tent where the misshapen gnome was assassinated — and the cultists are all invited to take selfies in it. how fucktacularly ghoulish is that?
you know where they got this brilliant idea to fetishize tragedy, don’t you? from Dear Leader, who has turned an entire wall at the White House into a shrine to his Miracle Ear Nicking.
who the fuck does that?
that puts a wrap on 2025, folks. have a non-stupid New Year’s Eve!
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
As if we needed any reminder of how horrible this year has been…
as another stupid year comes to a close in America, let’s remember some of the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
note: this is a long post. some email apps — gmail in particular — may truncate it. if this happens to you, click “view entire message” or “view in browser” or go here to see the entire post.
here’s a MAGA moron who could teach a master class in how not to drive. in fact, schools should show this clip in driver’s ed classes — as a cautionary tale. just check out this extensive list of don’ts.
— don’t drive recklessly on snow-covered roads.
— don’t hold your phone in one hand while driving recklessly on snow-covered roads.
— don’t sing M-A-G-A to the tune of Y-M-C-A while holding your phone in one hand while driving recklessly on snow-covered roads. — and, for fuck’s sake, don’t announce that “God has cleared a path for us today” JUST BEFORE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR because you were singing M-A-G-A to the tune of Y-M-C-A while holding your phone in one hand while driving recklessly on snow-covered roads.
— lastly, don’t post your dumb-assery to social media, unless you get off on being mercilessly mocked by the entire world.
know what? I think Mr. Retribution himself, God, zapped this fucker for being a dipshit.
America, meet your new dumbed-down-as-fuckWhite House Press Corps. Donny’s press office has been doling out credentials to various wingnut noise machine randos — people like Natalie Winters, the co-host of one-man leper colony Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast. that’s right, Rotting Stevie Three-Shirts now has eyes and ears in the White House press room.
notice anything weird about that tweet? maybe Natalie’s creative spelling of the word correspondent?
typos are not necessarily stupid. we all make them, all the time. what’s totally fucking stupid is not deleting that tweet and posting a correction. five days later, it’s still in her feed. journamolism at its finest.
“you don’t get to just put your hands on people. you don’t get to come here and do whatever the fuck you want. you just assaulted me, and now you’re getting arrested. good fucking job, you idiot. you pathetic piece of shit.”
Cocaine jaw, also known as “coke jaw,” is a common side effect of cocaine use. It refers to the uncontrollable grinding of teeth and repetitive clenching of the jaw often observed in individuals who misuse cocaine.
oh gee.
Alexa, can putting your hand not quite to your mouth and then pretending you’re chewing on something be an effective way of masking that you’re coked to the fucking gills?
gather ’round, children, Uncle Jeff is going to read you the story of Enola, the Very Gay Airplane. it goes like this:
once upon a time, there was this ahem alleged sexual-assaulting christofascist named Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand.
Pete was the Big Boss of the United States military. now, Pete loved the military and he loved men — but not all men. Pete only loved the manliest of men. he hated any man who wasn’t among the manliest of manly men.
now, Pete was very afraid that if his manly army of the very manliest manly men accidentally caught a glimpse of the wrong sort of word — for instance, a word like ‘gay’ — they might go a little funny in the head, and get bad ideas. and so Pete directed his military to remove all the wrong sorts of words from their files.
and that’s how the US military ended up removing photos of the Enola Gay — the plane that dropped the first atomic bomb on Japan — from its archives.
look, you imbeciles: the Enola Gay wasn’t called that because it was a boy plane that was really into other boy planes. the plane was named after Enola Gay Tibbets — the mother of Col. Paul Tibbets, its pilot.
I suppose if dear old Enola wanted a plane named after her, she should have had the decency to be named Enola Incredibly Straight Tibbets.
christofascist pastor Joel Webbon finds himself in a bit of a sticky wicket. you see, he was hoping to sell tickets to a Christian singles event, and it seems that he’s now having to give them away for free, because … well, let’s let Joel explain.
“…completely free, and also the admission cost to the singles event. we are hoping to fill up our singles event, and finding godly Christian single women has been, well, I’ll just say, much more difficult than finding godly Christian single men.”
now comes the part where we throw back our heads in laughter.
no one could have predicted this. really weird how a bunch of unpleasant misogynistic god-botherers can’t find any women who want to attend their Incelpalooza.
hey, Pastor Joel — I’m playing gospel hits for you, on the world’s tiniest violin.
Donny Convict’s presidential activities can be sorted into two categories: the Fucking Up Of Shit and the Standing Next To Of Athletes. Donny loves to stand next to sports dudes. anyone who wins anything, they get invited to the White House so that weak and insecure Donny can preen with them and pretend that he’s a winner, too.
on April 15, Donny must have been too busy with the Fucking Up Of Shit part of his job, because he outsourced the Standing Next To Of Athletes business to his veep.
oh my god, JD — you had ONE JOB: picking up a championship trophy and handing it off to members of the Ohio State Buckeyes. but you couldn’t manage it without breaking the trophy in two and letting it fall from your stubby mitts.
why do they keep letting this doughy pantload out in public? is there one time when he hasn’t screwed the pooch?
hey, let’s gif that shit, for posterity’s sake — and let’s slow it way the fuck down, and wring every drop of stupid from it.
if that’s not a metaphor for Donny’s entire presidency, I don’t know what is.
America’s christofascist dipshits have been working overtime to convince the nation’s ahemwhite women to boom out as many ahem white babies as possible. they’re throwing everything at the wall, just to see what sticks. let’s pay them five large to get themselves knocked up. no, wait — let’s give them medals for having six or more kids. (I’m not making this up!)
you’ve got your godly marching orders, America’s ahem white women: get to work making sons — because apparently daughters are anathema to His Eye.
speaking of eyes, do yourself a huge favor — don’t zoom in on any of the faces.
also: what the fuck is going on behind the preggobabes? a bald eagle standing guard over a garden-gnome-sized Jesus wearing running shoes?
a brief note to whoever is responsible for this image: eagles are carrion birds. they eat dead things. is Mister Baldie here waiting for Microscopic Jesus to die, so he can chow down? is that really the message you’re intending to send to America’s fertile payload?
while we’re on the subject of horribly-rendered christofascist AI art, what prompt was input in order to come up with this abomination?
“AI, generate for me the dorkiest couple possible, and make sure the woman looks no older than twelve”?
and remember, guys: when Jesus comes to hook you up with your child bride, have your red baseball cap at the ready.
eww. these people are seriously sick.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
“Dear L.N.,” the letters reads, “As you know by now, I have taken the ‘short route’ home. Good luck! We shared one thing … our love and caring for young ladies and the hope they’d reach their full potential. Our President also shares our love of young, nubile girls.” The letter makes another lewd reference to Trump’s treatment of women.
“Life is unfair,” the letter reads.
Q: is “I have taken the ‘short route’ home” some sort of euphemism saying he was killing himself?
Prosecutors subpoenaed Mar-a-Lago for employment records in Maxwell case
The Mar-a-Lago club was subpoenaed to produce documents in the case of United States v. Ghislaine Maxwell on Nov. 29, 2021, according to a copy of the subpoena included in the new files.
The subpoena demanded “Any and all employment records relating to [redacted].”
It is not clear who appeared on the club’s behalf.
Maxwell, a longtime associate of Epstein, was convicted of sex trafficking in 2021 and is serving a 20-year prison sentence.
“The FBI received a tip in October 2020 that appears to be from an unidentified female who said she had information about a ‘Jeffrey Epstein party’ in 2000. The person’s information is redacted in the FBI’s summary of the tip, which is included in the new files.”
“The woman alleged that someone named Ghislaine Lisa Villeneuve brought her to the party. Later, someone said that Donald Trump had invited everyone to Mar-A-Lago, according to the tipster.”
And here’s the document itself embedded as an image in this tweet.
We’re trying to imagine the Republican freakout if literally any of this was about Obama or Biden
Meanwhile, Morning Joe is carrying water for his old pal:
Scarborough: “Trump is not on Epstein’s list. There’s nothing in there really damning about Trump or Bill Clinton. So one of the great mysteries is not what Trump’s hiding, it’s why if he’s not in the files – which all the reporting says he’s not – why is he so obsessed on blocking access to them?”
Sean Duffy on blue states: “What I can do is I can pull their money. That’s the leverage I do have … I guarantee you that the federal taxpayer is not going to fund their roads and bridges and their systems when they are putting illegals on the roads.”
