Wednesday Madness
From Jeff Tiedrich:
Bone Saw Arabia buys big boy preznit his own happy meal
scenes from Donny's Middle East Griftapalooza
it's just so fucking embarrassing to watch Mad King Donny represent America on the world stage. he's monumentally stupid. he's crass and uncouth, and his rancid anus-mouth has no filter — at any moment, he's liable to blurt out random, inappropriate gibberish.
but above all, he's utterly unaware of just how easily manipulated he is. flatter him, hand him a few shiny baubles, and this bottomless pit of neediness becomes putty in your hands — and all We the People can do is cringe as we watch this buffoon being led around by his nose.
Donny was in Saudi Arabia yesterday — and look what the Saudis did for our Big Boy President.
that's right, Bone Saw Arabia built a custom-made rolling McDonalds for Donny — because god forbid this overgrown toddler endure an entire day without jamming a greasy wad of fat down his engorged gullet.
As the Saudis work to impress Trump during his trip to Riyadh this week, they're focusing on even the smallest details—like his fondness for the Golden Arches—by setting up a custom-built mobile McDonald's truck designed to support the presidential visit and the throng of journalists in tow.
how mortifying is it that our president can be bought off for a few burgers?
last time Donny visited Bone Saw Arabia, in 2017, they got him involved in some weird-ass sword dance.
and they let him put his freakishly-undersized fists on a glowing orb.
but this time? here's your happy meal, fuckface. now give us what we want.
oh look, President Pudding Cup continues to prove he isn't up to the rigors of his job.
check out this sleepy baby. he's so plumb tuckered from his journey that he can barely keep his beady little eyes open.
wake up, Donny — Crown Prince Mohammad Bone Saw is talking.
let's gif that shit for posterity's sake.
this dilapidated fuckwit has now slept through cabinet meetings, campaign appearances, Pope Francis' funeral, his own inauguration — and his own criminal trial.
can someone please get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a sippy-cup of warm milk, and tuck him into bed?
The 42-year-old Syrian leader has reportedly offered Mr Trump investment opportunities, including a Trump tower in Damascus.
now here's a thing that happened on Tuesday. tell me if you think they might be related.
BREAKING: Trump announced lifting of sanctions on Syria
what's America getting out of this arrangement? nothing, that's what. Donny's touring the Middle East so he can make personal deals to enrich himself, and the American public can go pound sand up their ass.
Donny's in Qatar today, and we all know how they bought him off — with that vulgar airborne bordello.
listen to Donny explain why he needs this plane. it's pure penis envy.Air Force One is just so tiny and flaccid compared to all the other big, manly planes.
"the plane that you're in right now is almost forty years old. and when you land and you see Saudi Arabia and you see UAE and you see Qatar and you see— and they have these brand-new Boeing 747s, mostly. and you see ours next to it. this is like a totally different plane. it's much smaller, much less impressive, as impressive as it is. and, you know, we're the United States of America. I believe that we should have the most impressive plane … now some people say oh, you shouldn't accepts gifts. my attitude is why shouldn't I accept a gift?"
you shouldn't accept a gift because it's fucking wrong, you ignorant asshole. it's specifically forbidden by the Constitution that you imagine somehow doesn't apply to you.
but look at what's eating away at Donny: all these Middle Eastern counties ruled over by despotic kings and princes have bigger planes than we do. oh, boo fucking hoo. cry me a river.
this delusional dipshit just doesn't get it. he's not royalty — no matter how hard he pretends. he's a low-rent slumlord from Queens, New York who failed upwards forever until he finally stumbled ass-backwards into the Oval Office.
somehow he imagines that this entitles him to the world's biggest airplane.
I guarantee that no other democratically-elected leader thinks twice about what they fly around in. it's just not important. Emmanuel Macron doesn't give a shit if his plane isn't the biggest. neither does Mark Carney. neither does the Pope Fucking Leo, for that matter.
but Donny's so broken-inside that he throws a shit-fit if he doesn't get the most ice cream. I wish I were making this up.
It has emerged that the President has two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie while everyone else at the table has just one.
keep in mind that — once again — the American people are getting nothing out of this. Donny gets to keep the plane, and take it home with him after he leaves office — and that's after hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars are spent making it secure enough to be used as Air Force One.
Converting a luxury jet gifted by Qatar to President Donald Trump into a replacement for Air Force One could potentially cost hundreds of millions of dollars, and it could take up two years to install the necessary security equipment, communications and defensive capabilities for it to be safely used by the commander in chief.
so the American people actually are getting less than nothing out of this "deal." thanks a fucking lot, Donny.
hey, look who found his voice. look who's speaking out against Dear Leader accepting four-hundred-million-dollars bribes. it's the Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun — the timid lickspittle whose gonads have been marinating in jar on a Motel-a-Lago shelf since 2016.
even Ted knows that accepting trojan-horse gifts from human-rights-abusing fiefdoms is just plain wrong.
"I'm not a fan of Qatar. I think they have a really disturbing pattern of funding theocratic lunatics who want to murder us, funding Hamas and Hezbollah, and that's a real problem. I also think the plane poses significant espionage and surveillance problems."
he's not wrong.
fuck you, Donny, for making me agree with Ted Fucking Cruz.
Vomiting It All Up, Tuesday Edition
Vomiting It All Up…And It's Only Monday 😫
Trump: 'I run the country and the world'
President Trump shared his thoughts on how his two terms as president have differed, saying in a new interview with The Atlantic that this time around he's leading "the country and the world."
"The first time, I had two things to do — run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys," Trump said in the interview published Monday. "And the second time, I run the country and the world."
And That Is The Definition Of A Sociopath
The Orange 🤡 Wants To Send Us All To The Cornfield
The Anthony Fremont Files
I keep seeing pundits —mostly on cable teevee— trying to read the tea leaves to understand what The Orange 🤡's strategy is on, well, everything. They keep searching for some rational, unifying theory to explain all the chaos of the 4th Reich, and they are searching for some Rosetta Stone to translate his chaotic thoughts into coherent policy. Sane washing his inchoate brain farts is only empowering him. Pundits think that they are being wise, but instead they are enabling a madman.
Those panel shows will be the death of all of us.
Pudits: save your breath: there is no thought, no plan, no philosophical perspective. The Orange 🤡 doing it because he can and no one is stopping him, certainly not you. His end game is unquestioned and total authority in all domains (the economy, trade, immigration, culture, whatever else that there might be); he is Anthony Fremont.
MPS has been saying pretty much since the beginning of this site: Conservatives hate America, and no one hates it more that Hair Füror. He hates and fears this country. He hates the MAGA rubes who've sucked-up to him in the administration, and he hates all the elite institutions that have rejected and laughed at him; he hates and disrespects Possum Hollar for letting him squash them like insects, and he hates the Christfascists for blessing him; he hates the weak, the rich and the poor; he even hates Putin because Putin make him feel inferior.
Hair Füror is simple to understand in this light. Look to see who he is trying to dominate and ask yourself: Does he hate them? Is he afraid of them? The answer is always yes.
If there is one consistent thread in his return to the White House, it is The Orange 🤡's deep and enduring hatred of everyone and everything out side of his thin orange skin. That's it. That's the Rosetta Stone.
[source]
MAGA Is Big Mad Because The NYT Outed Elon's Assholes
It would be a shame if this got spread around…
Vomiting It All Up
Oh, Snap!
Vomiting It All Up
How Do We Get Rid Of This Cancer?
So FUCKING Stupid
Vomiting It All Up
You Fucking Believed Him
Let's All Watch Some MAGA Shithead Get Bounced From A Bar
From Jeff Tiedrich:
everything sucks right now, so let's put the focus on our hero of the day. sit back and enjoy the shit out of this bartender eighty-sixing some Trumpist fuckwad.
bartender: "get out of the bar."
MAGA: "why?"
bartender: "because you're a Trump supporter."
MAGA: "I know, but don't you guys want our money?"
bartender: "no, actually, we don't. get out of my bar right now. [picks up baseball bat] I'm not fucking around. get out of my bar right now."
MAGA: "are you serious?
bartender: "I'm dead serious. out."
MAGA: "because I'm wearing a Trump hat."
bartender: "yes."
MAGA: "that's wild."
bartender: "I don't care. get out."
second bartender: "we can call the police, or you can just leave."
MAGA: "you know this is, like, discrimination, right?"
bartender: "boo hoo. boo fucking hoo. get out of my bar."
fuck yeah. that was satisfying. boo fucking hoo, indeed. here's your binky, MAGA. now take a hike.
here's the backstory.
the MAGA asshole who got bounced — and is now whining to the press about it — wants you to believe that she was some innocent victim who wandered into a random bar and met up with some surly bartender.
that's not the case at all. the cultist — and her friends — showed up to cause trouble, and they got what was coming to them.
the bar in question is the Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis. the joint is LGBTQ+ inclusive, and much of the staff is trans.
it's possible that Fuckface von Maga and her fuckface friends didn't even know any of that when they showed up to make a scene. maybe they were just offended by the pride flag hanging outside the bar, and decided that it was their divine mission to stir up shit.
here's David Andrichik, the bar's owner, to explain.
"We were set up. This was a plan to do something like this. We don't believe the people that came in to instigate even knew what Chatterbox was, but they came in because of our pride flag," which is displayed outside the jazz bar.
premeditated or not, these MAGA shitstains stepped inside the Chatterbox and immediately cranked the asshole dial way past eleven. they shouted. they got abusive and confrontational. they deliberately misgendered the bartender. and they got tossed the fuck out.
and then, they came back in and recorded the clip you saw at top of this post — and went whining to the media about it.
look at us, we're the real victims here! they hated us for our hats! so unfair! come see the violence inherent in the system!
like their beloved Dear Leader, the cultists always imagine they're the real victims — everything is unfair, and everything is rigged against them.
all we wanted was to hang out. the bartender was so mean to us.
MAGA, you are cordially invited to fuck straight off with your divisive hate. could you just fucking well leave people alone? they just want to live their lives in peace. next time you see a pride flag, just walk on by. the Earth won't fall off its axis. I promise.
cultists, can we talk? you're getting played by the ruling class, and you don't even realize it. you're being distracted from the real enemy.
'keep the people ignorant and fighting each other, and they won't notice the plutocrats picking their pockets' is right on page one of the oligarch's playbook.
and please shut the fuck up already about how unfairly you got treated. you acted like an asshole and you got treated like one.
you fucked around, and you found out. enjoy the tiniest of violins.
here's the official statement the Chatterbox posted to their Instagram account.
On Friday, March 14th, a group of individuals visited Chatterbox and intentionally misgendered and harassed a Chatterbox employee, resulting in them being asked to leave by our staff. They then continued verbally assaulting our patrons and staff, threatened our establishment, and returned to record a video which has now been posted on multiple social media platforms.
The Chatterbox is home to a diverse group of staff and patrons. We do not tolerate dehumanizing or disrespectful language or symbolism in our establishment. We have a right, by law, to refuse service to anyone who disrupts our business. We look forward to continue being a home for people who love music and appreciate our community.
forgive me for once again reposting what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, but it's a tale can't be told often enough.
I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, "no. get out."
And the dude next to me says, "hey i'm not doing anything, i'm a paying customer." and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed
Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them." And i was like, oh ok and he continues.
"you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too."
"And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down."
of course, what happened at the Chatterbox isn't totally analogous — Fuckface von MAGA and her friends weren't polite, and they certainly weren't there to infiltrate — but the lesson is the same: you have to nip that shit in the bud. zero tolerance for Nazi assholes.
fuck around and find out is in short supply right now. let's celebrate when it happens.
if you find yourself in Indianapolis, stop by the Chatterbox and show them your support.
Vomiting It All Up
A good litmus test for your MAGA associates is to just randomly say, "He's an idiot," and watch them automatically defend the orange felon. Make sure to point out you never said his name; they just assumed that's who you were talking about…and watch their heads explode.
Just Sayin'
It Is All Very Biblical, Isn't It?
Exactly.
I'm Just Passing This Whole Thing On
From All Hat No Cattle:
Even if they stopped—full stop, right now,—the damage is already done and it will take years and years to fix.
The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump
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- International Criminal Court condemns Trump-imposed sanctions
- DOJ disbands foreign influence task force, unit tasked with seizing Russian oligarchs' asset
- Public Citizen steps up fight against DOGE access with Education Department lawsuit
- J6 Convict Pardoned By Trump Arrested for 'Solicitation of a Minor'
- Trump Appoints Donut Shop Owner as U.S. Ambassador
- Trump's Sec of State Marco Rubio Brutally Mocked His Gaza Peace Plans: 'Not A Real Estate Deal, Donald!'
- Exclusive: Zelenskiy says 'Let's do a deal', offering Trump mineral partnership, seeking security
Trump Cancels News Subscriptions For Executive Branch
Ironic how Marco Rubio's parents fled a fascist dictator in Cuba – only to have little Marco serve a fascist dictator in America. ~ anyonewantchips
The first stage of Trump's Gaza plan should be him personally clearing the place of unexploded munitions. – Andy Borowitz
Republican Shenanigans
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- 'It's all good news': Karoline Leavitt whitewashes daily reports of Trump-era 'chaos'
- Trump Showers Travis Kelce With Praise a Few Months After Declaring He Hates Taylor Swift in Wild Ride of a Super Bowl Preview
- Conservative Writer Who Accused Drag Queens of 'Grooming' Is Arrested on Child Molestation Charges
- Hillary Clinton Points Blame At Trump and 'MAGA' For Recent Plane Crashes: You're Gonna Let 'Unvetted 22-Year Olds' Mess With 'Airline Safety?'
- DOGE Staffer Out After Social Media Posts Unearthed: 'Normalize Indian Hate'
- Musk, Trump Prosecutor Targeting People Who Divulge Identities of DOGE Staff
- CNN Runs Segment on Government 'Expert' Known as 'Big Balls'
I want to live in boring times. Give me mundane. Give me trivial. – John Collins
There isn't anti-Christian bias in America, there's anti-Jesus bias in American Evangelical Christianity. – John Pavlovich
Rock The Voter News
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- 'Harmful, Ludicrous Action!' California Dem Slams Trump For 'PR Stunt' Release of Water That Never Made It To LA
- Democrats demand investigation into Musk's alleged 'conflicts' over billions in fed contracts
- Education Department becomes fourth federal agency to deny entry to Democratic lawmakers
- Fetterman Brands Dems As 'Toxic,' 'Not Sure' They Can Win 'White Men' Back: 'Primary Currency Was Shaming'
- Discontent with Sen. John Fetterman bursts into the streets among Pa. Democrats
Q: If the US cuts off foreign aid, who will be there to get involved with all of those countries?A: China.
Schatz Takes Direct Shots At Derelict Democrats
Sen. Brian Schatz (D-HI) had some pointed remarks for Democratic strategists who have been advising the party's elected officials to pick their battles carefully against President Donald Trump…"I'm not going to let some pundit dictate whether or not I exercise my obligations as a member of the Article I branch," Schatz said. "David Axelrod, James Carville. I mean, those guys have not been in the trenches legislatively or electorally in a full generation. And there's a cottage industry out there of Democratic strategists. But in order to be a Democratic strategist, you actually have to do politics currently and not just podcast about it."
Hearing nonsense that Ds are threatening a shutdown. False. Entire matter is in GOP hands. What's happening is that Rs are coming hat in hand to Ds for help because they can't agree among themselves. Ds shld have a simple demand. No help until the criminal conduct stops. – Josh Marshall
Business/Tech News
Musk says he's spending $40M of his own money on five, 30 second Super Bowl ads, revealing government waste that his DOGE hackers have supposedly found. ~ Molly Ploofkins
I hope they boo the s**t out of Trump at the superbowl. – Dave Matt
Odd News
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- Scientists discover largest black hole jet ever seen in the early universe — its twice as long as our galaxy
- Rare Fossil of 183-Million-Year-Old 'Sea Monster' Reveals Both Smooth and Scaly Skin
- Latest Starship Explosion Trashes Poor Caribbean Island, Leaving The Locals To Clean It Up
- Flight tracker captures moment Bering Air plane disappears over Alaska
- The number of venomous snakes removed from this Australian yard will make you shudder,
Time To Deflate Photo
I💖NYC.
Peace.
Sorry for the formatting nightmare on this one – I don't have the patience today to try and correct it.
Exhausting
45 Lies…ALWAYS
Vomiting It All Up
Marching Orders For Democrats
First: Do not help Republicans. Not in any way. On any issue. Republicans can't pass a budget, or raise the debt ceiling? Tough luck. Do not provide them any bailout votes on any issue. Period, the end.¹
Second: Make Donald Trump own every bad outcome that happens, anywhere in the world while paying special attention to areas where Republicans are particularly vulnerable. Like housing and Ukraine.
BUT WILL THEY DO IT?
A Trump Supporter And His Money Are Soon Parted
From Jeff Tiedrich:
Step Right Up, Rubes
It's a wise old saying: a trump supporter and their money are soon parted.
Need proof? Here's an ad that's been running on the Fox Business channel. For only $19.95, you can get a rectangle of paper with a value of zero. Look — it's got Dear Leader's vacuous smirking face and chickenscratch signature on it! Shut up and take my money!
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Sometimes I wish I had no morals or ethics, because I would be so good at grifting these dumb-asses. just slap Donny's big dumb pumpkin face onto any cheap-ass Chinese-made trinket and back up the Brinks truck, boy-o.
You know what's going to happen, don't you? Some dimwitted cultist is going to walk into their local 7-11 and try to use this funny money to pay for his slurpee.
It's not like it hasn't happened before.
Turns out, Trump Bucks aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Just ask John Amann of Houston who said he bought $2,200 worth of the phony currency and other Trump monetary items over the past year only to discover they were worthless when he tried to cash them in at his local bank.
MAGA, can we chat? listen up, stupids. If you're shelling out $19.95 for a phony two-dollar bill, or $499.95 for Dear Leader's spray-painted sneakers — or if you spent god-knows-how-much on stickers, and this is what your car looks like …
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I don't want to hear one fucking word out of you about the price of eggs.