Found somewhere on the interwebs:

“You Trumpsters better pray that liberals never gain control of the WH again because we are going to pay you back so fucking hard for all this shit. Planned Parenthoods on every damn corner. We are going to repaint Air Force One pussy hat pink and fly it over your beloved Bible Belt 6 days a week, tossing birth control pills, condoms, and atheist literature from the cockpit. We are going to tax your mega churches so bad Joel Olsteen will need to get a job at Chik-Fil-A to pay his light bill. Speaking of Chik-Fil-A, we’re buying up the company and giving them to any LGBTQ person your sick cult leaders tortured with conversion therapy. Have fun with the new menu, you bigoted fucks. Try the McPence: it’s a boiled unseasoned chicken breast that you have to eat in the closet with your mother. We’re going to gather up ALL of your fucking guns, melt them down, and turn them into a gargantuan metal mountain emblazoned with the face of Hillary Clinton. ALL parks will be renamed Rosa Parks, asap. We’re replacing Confederate statues with BLM Leaders and Mexican immigrants. Every single public school will be renamed after a child that was kidnapped by this regime. And after we fumigate the WH, we’re repainting the whole thing rainbow. Fox News Headquarters will be taken over via Eminent Domain and turned into a family refugee shelter. We’re turning Hannity’s office into giant unisex bathroom with changing tables and free tampons. And every single time a Trumpster complains about any of the changes, we’re adding an openly gay character to a Disney movie.”

All by Executive Order.

Probably apocryphal, but still funny nonetheless:

My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. 

I called him an asshole. 

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Shirley (my wife) called him a shithead.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets as he walked around the car. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

He finally finished, sneered at us, and walked away.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on and went home.

We always look for cars with Trump 2020 bumper stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.

And I kept thinking that if this couple were black they’d both be dead and there wouldn’t be a funny story… How sad is that?

And yet we must remain ever vigilant. The next time something wicked this way comes, it may not be as totally, fundamentally incompetent as the Trump regime.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You’re going to prison,
And your family is too.