Category: Fun

An oldie but a goodie.

You are in a band. Your band is about to release their first album. Follow these directions to build it.

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random.
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3.
The tail (last three or four words) of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/.
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use the graphics program of your choice to put them together into your first album.

5. Go to the random title generator site and come up with the names of the 12 tracks! (I added a bonus track because that’s just the way I am.)

Tracklist:

Stripped Search
The Captured Sky
Boyfriend of Memory
The Secret of Fire
Crying in the Streams
Obsession of the Servant
Green Rings
The Kissing Storms
World of Search
The Flames’s Gate
The Soul of the Barmaid
Evil in the Child
Red Hunter
The Playful Eyes

And the fabulous, never before released bonus track:

Luck in the Winter

Homemade Microwave Popcorn

• 1/4 cup of popping corn (generally $0.99 for a pound bag. This is enough to make at least 50 bags of microwave corn)
• 1 Teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
• Popcorn salt to taste (it has finer granules than table salt with the same taste)
• And the following tools:
• A stapler
• A teaspoon
• A measuring cup
• A brown paper bag, and—of course
• A microwave

Step One:

Measure out the popcorn and dump it into the paper bag. Carefully add salt and any additional seasonings you might want. Shake gently. Now add the teaspoon of olive oil.

Step Two:

Close the bag, folding it over twice. Secure with one stable in the middle of the fold. (Contrary to popular belief, staples will not arc in the microwave.) Shake the bag to evenly distribute the corn/oil/salt mixture. Place the bag, side down, in your microwave and nuke it until you hear the popping occurring at roughly 3-5 second intervals. (My microwave has a “popcorn” setting on the control panel. I find that is about fifteen seconds too long.) You might want to put a folded paper towel under the bag to soak up the oil that will seep through the bag.

Step Three:

Open the bag with care because steam will escape and you can get scalded. Pour into a bowl, serve and enjoy the taste and the knowledge that this heaping bag of microwave popcorn cost less than ten cents and isn’t full of unnecessary added chemicals and preservatives!

Honeybear’s, here we come!

Last night Ben and I saw Bianca Del Rio’s perform her Rolodex of Hate at the Paramount Theater. It was fabulous. I can’t recall the last time I laughed so hard. The girl is brilliant. It’s no wonder she won the last season of Drag Race, and why this season’s contestants all seem so…unremarkable.

If you have a chance to see her in person, by all means make the effort. You won’t be disappointed.

Dark blue: Drives on the left (UK and British ex-colonies).
Light blue: Used to drive on the right, now on the left (Nambia).
Purple: Used to have a mixed system, now on the right.
Light red: Used to drive on left, now on right.
Red: Drives on the right.

I found this and several other fascinating maps here.

Though the wonderful arrangement of tubes and cylinders that is our fabulous internets, the exact date of my death has been determined!

Friday, 10 March 2045

Isn’t that amazing? Thousands of years of prognostications by the best seers in the history of humanity could not accurately foretell the date of anyone’s death, but thanks to this website, it’s all there for you. Interestingly enough, if I should happen to lose those 40 lbs. that I’ve put on over the last two decades, it will only extend my life by two years. Two years?  I mean, if I’m going to go to all the trouble of dropping those pounds, I want an extra 5 years at least. And all this is assuming of course that I’m not hit by a bus or that we’re not wiped off the face of the earth by the actions of Preznit McFuckwit beforehand.