Category: Hypocrisy

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Illinois Catholic Priest Calls 911: "Help! I Can't Get Out Of These Handcuffs!"

From Joe.My.God.:

The 911 operator in Springfield, Illinois fielded an unusual emergency call from the local Catholic church in late November.  The story was published yesterday by the Illinois Times.

The pastor of St. Aloysius church on Springfield's north end has been granted a leave of absence after he called 911 from the rectory and told a dispatcher that he needed help getting out of handcuffs. "I'm going to need help getting out before this becomes a medical emergency," Father Tom Donovan told a dispatcher who sounds a bit incredulous during the Nov. 28 call. "You're stuck in a pair of handcuffs?" the dispatcher asks. "(I was) playing with them and I need help getting out," Donovan responds. Donovan told the dispatcher that he was alone in the rectory. It's not clear exactly how he ended up in handcuffs or why he feared a medical emergency. His voice sounds garbled or muffled on the tape, and sources say that police discovered some sort of gag on the priest when they arrived. The diocese has been tight-lipped about the matter, saying only that Bishop Thomas Paprocki granted Donovan's request for a leave of absence at some point before Christmas.

Bolding is mine. It took me a few extra minutes to write this post because I was laughing so hard at the 911 call. I am a horrible person.

I wonder if police also checked his rectum for any, um…foreign objects he might've "tripped and fallen" on?

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Quote of the Day

"When you rape children, cover it, rape them again, cover it up, rape them again, finally get caught, still cover it up, apologize, recant your apology, then blame the victim, you have zero moral authority to lecture others about their supposed sins." – John Aravosis at AMERICAblog, writing about the Catholic Church's most current bit of pearl-clutching over marriage equality.

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A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

From my friend Mark:

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water for his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging, commie liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, Joe takes his daily medications. His medications are safe to take because some evil, lefty bomb-throwers fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of Joe's medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some fire-breathing, lazy-ass union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance — now Joe gets it, too. Never would turn it down.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In his morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some cry-baby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is healthy because some wacko, trouble-making, militant environmentalist fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

Then Joe walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants, limp-wristed, freethinkng asshole fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some fire-breathing, Viet Cong-loving union members fought and died for these working standards.

Joe's employer pays these high standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union in. So Joe benefits from what others have gained.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers compensation or unemployment check because some stupid, pinko troublemakers didn't think Joe should lose his home because of a temporary misfortune.

At noontime Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless, liberal red wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. He can thank that Stalinist Franklin D. Roosevelt for that.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist, pointy-headed liberal decided that Joe and society as a whole would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. That's okay, but the bastards tricked him because he has to pay taxes. Romney will fix that, he tells himself.

Joe gets home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government, New Deal, Stalinist liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating Marxist made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that over the decades the beloved Republicans have fought to defeat every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees with the talk-radio loudmouth: We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man and a good Republican and I believe all Americans should take care of themselves, just like I have!

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Commandment Number Nine

Apparently Chick-Fil-A needs a refresher course:

"There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers." ~ Proverbs 6:16–19

How very Christian of them.

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Oblivious to the Irony

This douchenozzle is completely oblivious to the irony of what he's spewing. (Emphasis mine.)

"We are commanded to spread the gospel for the salvation of many. I know this hasn't been a big part of Jimmy Carter's life. But it remains the unequivocal, central role of the Christian in the world. We're not supposed to just live and let live—because to do that actually means death for those we don't confront with their sin and the salvation message. [snip] This is why I call Jimmy Carter a truly evil person. He still tries to masquerade as a Christian, though his views are increasingly heretical if not those of an apostate. Jesus says when judgment day comes, there will be some He turns away, even though they claim to have prophesied in His name." ~ Three-time Just For Men Beard & Mustache gold medalist and World Nut Daily founder Joseph Farah, writing about Jimmy Carter's recent endorsement of same-sex marriage.

This is coming from the same type of ignorant, hateful bigots who were claiming that Jimmy Carter was the fucking Antichrist when he won the Presidency back in '76.

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It's Called Cherry Picking

And it's something that the rabid right-wing Xtianists do with extreme aplomb. Following the hate-the-homos parts of Leviticus are fine, but everything else is safely ignored.

Frankly, I don't believe half these idiots have even read their so-called "holy" book.

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Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Republican

And the hits just keep on coming.

From addictinginfo.org:

Georgia Republican Who Wanted Drug Testing For Welfare Recipients Gets DUI

The do as we say, most certainly not as we do party struck again, and this level hypocrisy might just shift the tectonic plates and reveal a whole new world for the rational among us (or whatever is left).

Rep. Kip Smith, the Georgian Republican sponsor of Georgia House Bill 464, which would "require random drug testing" for citizens on public assistance, found himself drunker than Lindsey Lohan (only ugly and with no talent) and apparently was arrested friday morning on a DUI.

From the The Atlanta Journal Constitution:

Smith, whose given name is John Andrew Smith, first told the officer he had not consumed any alcoholic beverages.

"I asked him again, and he stated he had consumed a single beer at Hal's. I noticed also that Mr. Smith's eyes were watery, and I asked him to exit the vehicle, which he did," Kramer said in the report.

Smith told the officer he'd had the beer 45 minutes earlier, and the officer asked him to blow into a hand-held "intoximeter". The officer said the lawmaker refused, stating he would prefer to go to a clinic or the hospital to get tested.

The officer said Smith finally agreed to blow into the device. The report stated that Smith blew a .091., which is above the legal limit of .08.

So it would seem that Drunky McHypocrite should either abdicate his congressional salary or not receive one penny until he completes treatment and is full compliance with all after-care plans. I would suggest requiring mandatory drug-testing for members of Congress, but then there might be a government shutdown due to a lack of quorum.

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Hypocrisy, Thy Name is NOM


Newt Gingrich would like to remind everybody that that marriage is between one man and one woman whom you abandon riddled with cancer on her hospital bed while you fuck the shit out of your mistress whom you later marry and cheat on with a third woman while screaming with Godly moral outrage about the infidelities of the president.

And NOM's Brian Brown, one of the nation's leading "defenders of marriage," an allegedly devout Catholic for whom divorce is forbidden, is raising money to make Gingrich president. Brian Brown: "Everybody is allowed to fuck anybody they want, married or not, as long as they tell Jeebus: 'My bad!' after every adulterous encounter. But not homos. Definitely not homos. They belong to Satan."

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Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Republican

From Down With Tyranny:

Tiny little North Carolina fascist Patrick McHenry still hasn't been officially outed—even if everyone in DC knows he's a raging closet case. Neither have Trent Franks (R-AZ), Adrian Smith (R-NE), Miss McConnell (R-KY), David Dreier (R-CA), Mark Kirk (R-IL) nor even flamboyant DC men-about-town Lindsay Graham and Aaron Schock… or a dozen other furtive, frightened GOP dick-lovers. Republicans who have been caught red handed and dragged out of the closet, like boy rapist Mark Foley (R-FL), Jim Mcrery (R-LA), Larry Craig (R-ID), Ed Schrock (R-VA), Robert Bauman (R-MD), and Jim Kolbe (R-AZ), have been forced out of Congress and into retirement. But no matter how frequently the media covers these tragic outings of virulently anti-gay right-wing closet case phonies, the cavalcade of clowns never seems to end. This week, stage center moved to Arapahoe County, Colorado. Patrick Sullivan, once a major donor to homophobic fanatic Marilyn Musgrave's political career—and once the "straight as an arrow" fascist sheriff of Arapahoe County who—turns out to be a drug dealing boy chaser, like virtually EVERY Republican who runs around screaming how much they hate gays.

Former Arapahoe County Sheriff Patrick Sullivan's arrest in a meth-for-sex case left longtime law officers at a loss for words Wednesday, though court records paint a picture of a man who has been living a double life.

Sullivan, 68, remained behind bars in a jail that bears his name, accused of trading methamphetamine for sex with a man Tuesday, a transaction monitored by deputies working with a confidential informant. During a brief morning court appearance Wednesday, a judge doubled his bail to $500,000.

The arrest of the married father and grandfather sparked shock– even bewilderment– among longtime law officers.

…Wednesday evening, a man who owns a home in Centennial said Sullivan was a frequent visitor this year to the house, where he would consume drugs and have sex with young men living there.

He said Sullivan intimidated him.

"I couldn't get rid of these guys because this guy named Pat Sullivan said you are going to let them stay for free," Derek Hendrickson said. "He said I said they could stay for free and it would hold up in court, and said, 'Do you know who I am?'"

"He was telling me he has a jail named after him." … A search Tuesday night of Sullivan's home, conducted after both the former sheriff and his wife consented, led to the discovery of "a fairly large amount of adult homosexual pornography."

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So It's Come Down To This?

Anthony Weiner's penis?  Seriously?

The talking bobbleheads are all atwitter (no pun intended) about the fact that a married, elected Democratic official sent a photo of his penis to one or more women. Really?

While it is rather unusual for a Democrat to get caught up in a situation like this, let's all remember the incredible number of sex scandals Republicans have been involved in over the past decade.   Larry Tap-Tap-Tap Craig and David Diaper-Boy Vitter are the top two who come to mind, but there are many, many others. And while they were not elected officials, let us not forget two other luminaries of the right, Ted Meth-and-Rent-Boy Haggard and George Lift-His-Luggage Rekers.

Where was the outrage from the talking heads when these men were caught with their pants down?

Seriously America, it's time to get off your faux moral high horse and GROW THE FUCK UP.  As Lizz Winstead tweeted:

Exactly, Lizz.  Exactly.