Category: It's Funny Because It's (Mostly) True

And gay sex. That's a great unifier too.

…that I want to enact a National Quiet Day where everyone shuts up for twenty-four hours?

…that I make jokes in my head and then laugh out loud in public while people stare?

…that the temperature in South Carolina went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper running up on it?

…that when someone asks if I have plans for the Fall, it takes me a minute to realize they mean Autumn and not the collapse of civilization?

…that I'm humble enough to know I'm replaceable, but cocky enough to know it's a downgrade?

…that when I'm on Facebook and someone's post includes the phrase, 'I bet none of my friends will share this,' I don't?

…that I have days when I swipe my credit card at the gas station and if it says 'See Cashier,' I just leave?

…that unless we make plans before I get off work, once I'm off and I'm home, I'M HOME! I'm not going anywhere. I'm old and I'm tired.

…that bars only do a Happy Hour? Howsabout a Sad Hour with even cheaper drinks and no one minds if you cry a little?

…that my first thought when I get a headache isn't that it's from dehydration, caffeine withdrawal, lack of proper nutrition, stress, lack of sleep, not wearing my glasses, but rather that I have a brain tumor?

[unabasedly stolen from I Should Be Laughing]