Prescient
In a Nutshell…
Nick Jonas Got Married…
…to a woman.
“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of gay men suddenly cried out in anguish and then collapsed in uncontrollable sobbing. I fear something terrible has happened.”
More Like My Spirit Animal…
Word of the Day
Shower Thoughts
Why is “Sean” pronounced as “Shawn” instead of “Seen,” but “Dean” is pronounced “Deen” instead of “Dawn”?
I’m Dying Here
It’s Funny Because It’s True
Shower Thoughts
Plastic dinosaurs are made out of real dinosaurs.
Shower Thoughts
The most effective alarm clock is the sound of your dog throwing up on the floor or peeing on the bed.
Shower Thoughts
Nothing wakes you up as fast as the panic of thinking you overslept on a work day.
Shower Thoughts
The smell of cotton candy has gone from, “There Must Be A Carnival Nearby” to “Who’s The Douche Who’s Vaping?”
Shower Thoughts
It’s odd how we define laundry. Clothes become laundry when they’re taken off and put in a basket. They remain laundry until they’re washed, dried and put away and then they become clothes again.
Shower Thoughts
Replacing “didn’t” with “did not” in the following sentence “Why didn’t you…” breaks English.
Shower Thoughts
At home it’s weird for two people to eat two different things for dinner but at a restaurant it’s weird to order the same thing.
Shower Thoughts
“As fuck” has become a universal unit of measurement.
Shower Thoughts
The history on your calculator is probably more embarrassing than the one on your browser.
Shower Thoughts
We live in a world where people eat ass, but get grossed out when you double dip a chip.
Yes. Yes He Is.
The Stages of Bottoming
Dance, Monkies, Dance
Word.
Word.
When You Think It’s Friday But Realize It’s Only THURSDAY
Perfect Weather
Go Fast
the universe: Okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?
human: GO FAST
the universe: Well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.
human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST
the universe: Wait what?
human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER
the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP
human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER
human:
THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST
the universe:
How will the people in the ship not get gibbed?
Because the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.
it works like this
Objects cannot accelerate to the speed of light within normal spacetime; instead, the Alcubierre drive shifts space around an object so that the object would arrive at its destination faster than light would in normal space without breaking any physical laws.
I love how mankind’s solution to FTL is just to bend to rules of reality a little.
the universe: ok human, with the physical laws as they are you can’t go faster than the speed of light.
human: ok, let me just figure out how to manipulate space time so I can go FASTER!
[Source]
