A Serious Question

Something is off. Something is in the air. Something just ain't right.

I've asked several people (both online and in person) if life seems more than just a bit off lately. I don't specially mean the dystopian worldwide political hellscape that's permeating every aspect of our lives, but just life in general. I look around and think, "This isn't the way this is supposed to be. It's all wrong." It's like an old episode of The Twilight Zone where the protagonist is the only one who knows something 's wrong, or in more contemporary terms, it feels like The Matrix is continually glitching. Frankly at this point I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the proverbial flying saucer appears and lands on the White House lawn. I mean it's about the only thing that hasn't happened.

But at the same time, I don't have an overreaching feeling of dread for the future (unless I spend too much time doomscrolling), but rather—and even when I do go doomscrolling—a feeling that everything's still going to be all right. And it's not years away…it's right around the corner. Something is going to happen to put an end to this madness and wake us from this horrible nightmare.

Listen…Felon45 does not have nearly the power or influence he and his handlers would have us believe. Now that he's tanked the economy he's losing his own followers. Look at how many times he's been swatted down by the courts since he took office. And despite his wet dream of disbanding the courts or upending Habeas Corpus, it's not going to happen. He's a sad, weak, dementia-ridden old man who's obviously suffered at least one stroke, increasingly can't get his words out, and still somehow dreams of being the next Hitler—but is in actuality just a couple Big Macs away from ridding the planet of his presence completely. And in any case he is not the source of this overall—"offness" I'm feeling. He is merely a symptom.

But what about you guys? What are you sensing?

2024 In Pictures: My Loves, My Observations, My Obsessions…And A Few Selfies

About a week before the New Year I was going to post a "Year in Pictures" thingie, but after I selected the images I realized that so many of them were of Sammy and I just…couldn't. His passing was still too fresh. I mentioned this to Ben and he said I should create the post for precisely that reason because Sammy was such a big part our lives.

Well, it's been a couple weeks since I gathered the photos together and after thinking it over, I think it's time.























































"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." ~ Richard Bach, from The Messiah's Handbook

Staycation Begins!

For the next 9 days I don't even have to think about work! And except for next Friday—when I have a cortisone injection scheduled for a trigger finger—I have nothing on my schedule!

A Handy Guide

I'll admit I'm an abject failure at keeping a clean house. I wasn't always this way. I remember sending pictures of a new apartment I'd moved into in the early 2000s to a friend and he replied, "You moved into a model home?"

But lately…if I just ignore it, it will all go away, right?

I also never understood why everything in my dad's place would be absolutely covered with dust. "I start cleaning and just run out of energy," he'd say. I'm now at the age that he was when I started noticing his once-pristine environment becoming increasingly unkempt—and now I understand why.

It also doesn't help to have that extensive collection of tchotchkes that make dusting an absolute nightmare…

It's gotten to the point where Ben and I have discussed having someone come in once a  week toi give the place a quick once-over (dusting, vacuuming, mopping the floors), or at the least once-a-month deep clean (all the above plus doing the bathroom).

They Call Us "Elderly"

    • We were born in the 40-50-60's.
    • We grew up in the 50-60-70's.
    • We studied in the 60-70-80's.
    • We were dating in the 70-80-90's.
    • We got married and discovered the world in the 70-80-90's.
    • We venture into the 80-90's.
    • We stabilize in the 2000's.
    • We got wiser in the 2010's.
    • And we are going firmly through and beyond 2020.
    • Turns out we've lived through EIGHT different decades…
    • TWO different centuries…
    • TWO different millennia…
    • We have gone from the telephone with an operator for long–distance calls to video calls to anywhere in the world.
    • We have gone from slides to YouTube, from vinyl records to online music, from handwritten letters to email and Whats App.
    • From live matches on the radio to black and white TV, color TV, and then to 3D HD TV.
    • We went to the Video store and now we watch Netflix.
    • We got to know the first computers, punch cards, floppy disks and now we have gigabytes and megabytes on our smartphones.
    • We wore shorts throughout our childhood and then long trousers, Oxfords, flares, shell suits & blue jeans.
    • We dodged infantile paralysis, meningitis, polio, tuberculosis, swine flu, and now COVID-19.
    • We rode skates, tricycles, bicycles, mopeds, and petrol or diesel cars and now we drive hybrids or electric.
    • Yes, we've been through a lot but what a great life we've had!
    • They could describe us as "essentials," people who were born in that world of the fifties, who had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood.
    • We've kind of "Seen-It-All"!
    • Our generation has literally lived through and witnessed more than any other in every dimension of life.
    • It is our generation that has literally adapted to "CHANGE."
    • A big round of applause to all the members of a very special generation, which will be UNIQUE!

Not The Vacation I Was Expecting

Last summer Ben and I were trying to figure out what do to over his fall break.  I had a ton of vacation time available, so taking a week off at the same time as his break was a no-brainer. He suggested a road trip to see Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art again and visit our friends Erik and Robert. I thought that would be a great idea since I could also get my 20 year cancer anniversary tattoo at the same time. (Erik is the only person in the world I allow to poke ink into my skin.)

But then Life Happened

Cancer. Yeah, that bastard. Ben's aunt is battling a particularly aggressive form at the moment, so we decided to eschew our road trip and instead to spend a little more time with her and perhaps just take her on a day trip to northern Arizona.

Even that fell through. She's in the middle of treatments, and while we could've still done it this weekend, all the poking and prodding have left her feeling wiped out. (#relatable)

And then life happened again.

Wednesday a week ago Ben started having vision problems with one eye. He wasn't able to get in to see his regular ophthalmologist, but he was able to get in for an emergency visit with mine first thing Friday morning. I wasn't planning on taking the day off, but I insisted on driving him since I knew he'd be dilated. It turned out that it was a detached retina. From the eye doctor we went to a retina specialist and then directly into surgery. He were back home by late afternoon.

He's doing well. His followup exam was good, and while he's still an eye-patched bandit, he's able to drive and will see (pardon the pun) the doctor again in two weeks.

Technology is Not My Friend

Robopsychosis

Several weeks ago I ran across a post where someone had mapped all the places he'd overnighted on a Google Map. That looks fun, I thought. I was able to get all my old domiciles and about 80% of my overnight trips mapped, but there were a couple years where I didn't have exact locations—but—because of my inveterate anal-retentiveness, I was sure I had emails from the venues locked away in old Outlook .pst files.

I was able to access all but one file of the files. For some reason, I'd password-protected it and after trying all my usual passwords, came up empty handed. Found a piece of Windows software that would unlock it. After downloading it and running it in demo mode, it indeed identified the password but required purchase to actually tell me what it was. Go figger.

So I bought the software, installed it on my work laptop (my only source for Windows) and entered the registration info. It wouldn't register because it was blocked by the Enterprise firewall!

See where this is going?

This is where I'm gonna lose a lot of you. I know it and I'm prepared to accept it. "That bitch be cray!"

I'd been wanting to get an inexpensive Windows box for a while. I didn't want to spend much or get anything high-powered, but there were definitely instances (like this password thing) where it could prove useful. I could "borrow" one of the machines that are scheduled for disposal from work, reformat it and put it to use, but I'm too honest to do something like that. For the past few years we've been buying the Dell micro Optiplex desktops for those users who still require desktop machines. They're tiny (about the size of a Mac Mini) and would suit my need perfectly. I looked on eBay and found a model from 2021 with 16GB RAM and a 256GB hard drive for $150. It seemed reasonable, and it even came with a warranty. I placed my order.

The box arrived a week later. The moment I started unpacking it I knew something was amiss. I pulled out the power supply brick and the power connector was not the correct form factor for these micro PCs. Then I pulled out the laptop.

Yup, they'd shipped the wrong unit.

Finally got that sorted out and received the micro desktop machine. Powered it up, and while it looked like it had been set up with a generic user account, it also came loaded with a bunch of crap I neither wanted or needed. I had a Dell Win10 Pro DVD, so I figured it would be an easy matter of wiping and reinstalling a fresh O/S.

Oh, you stupid, stupid man.

To my credit, the install went fine…but there were no device-specific drivers installed. No problem, I thought. I can go onto the Dell site with my Mac, download the drivers, put them on a USB stick and go from there.

The Dell recognized the USB DVD-ROM drive I had plugged in, but none of the USB sticks were seen by the O/S.

I ended up burning the bare minimum of drivers onto a CD from the Mac and attempted to load them. The two I needed most—graphics and wireless—would not load because the O/S was too old. Yup…the Windows 10 DVD I had was from the initial release back in 2018 or 2019 or whenever the fuck it came out.

Back to the Mac. Downloaded the latest Win10 ISO. Burned that onto a DVD and ran setup on the Dell. That brought me up to date. I was able to load the video and wireless drivers, and then finally go online to get everything else I needed.

I swear the universe was telling me I just didn't need to be doing this.

It was 1am by the time I got the Dell up and running. I'd been at it since before dinner.

The next day I went to load the .pst password cracking software and realized that when I purchased the license, I'd actually gotten the .pdf version!

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS IN TRAFFIC.

So, after spending another $30, I loaded (and successfully registered and activated) the software and finally got that .pst unlocked. And I found what I'd been looking for. (And also found all of the first emails Ben and I exchanged!)

Was it worth it? Yes…no…maybe? Seeing it all from the outside now, I realize how OCD it was; all that work and expense just to retrieve the half-dozen overnight locations that were missing from my map.

I noticed that the software company that has the password cracks for .pdfs and .psts also has one for Word docs. I have a several of those that I haven't been able to get into for more than a decade, so it might be worth dropping another $30 to gain access to those.

My only real disappointment when all was said and done was that this Dell 7050 can't do Windows 11 (it's not capable of running TPM 2.0), but as Ben pointed out, "You don't need Windows 11 to do what you're wanting to do."

#truth

And The Week Goes On

Admittedly, the rest of the week was reather relaxing. I solved the problem with my work laptop (something I spared you from in the previous section) negating the need to run back into the office before tomorrow (since I'm WFH) to reimage the infernal thing. Many afternoons were spent napping with my beloved or just hanging out with him at Starbucks, or with the dogs watching television. Other than getting the problem fixed with the work laptop, I haven't looked at work emails, have kept the work cell turned off, and feel like I can face tomorrow's undoubted onslaught of stupidity somewhat recharged.