Category: MINI Cooper

…I realize I made the right decision to spend the extra money and have the badges removed and reapplied after the stripes were put on.

Lots of tidbits I never knew, that's for sure!

…so drive a MINI."

It's been a little over a year since I replaced Anderson, my aging 2006 MINI Cooper with Rabbit, a 2016 MINI Cooper Countryman. During that time—and despite COVID—we've had a good relationship. I have a few gripes with the car, but no real regrets over the purchase.

First off, since discovering Sport Mode, I absolutely love driving this car. With Sport Mode engaged, it seems the car shifts exactly when I would with a manual gearbox and that gives me unbridled joy. I gave up a manual transmission when I traded in Anderson, and it was a decision wrought with misgivings based on my (one) previous fully automatic vehicle. But I have to say, even without Sport Mode engaged, I haven't really missed the third pedal all that much.  In a perfect world, yes…I'd still be driving stick, but it wasn't an option at the time. As I mentioned a few posts back, Anderson was starting to nickel and dime me to death, and watching the timer tick down until a second clutch replacement would be needed, something had to give sooner rather than later. I didn't want to take on the huge financial burden of a new car—and at the time MINI wasn't producing any vehicles with a stick shift anyway, so I knew a used one would be the way I'd have to go if I wanted to keep it affordable and fun.

I also knew I wanted the Countryman for the simple reason it was becoming a pain getting in and out of the low-to-the-road 2-door MINI hatchback and the Countryman rode a few inches higher.

I found a vehicle on CarMax that matched my transmission, color, and price requirements. Unfortunately it was located in Las Vegas. They'd ship it down to Phoenix for a $100 fee that would be refunded if I purchased the vehicle, so it wasn't an unreasonable expense. I realized however this was a bit of a gamble if I didn't want the car, but with apparently no vehicles that matched my want list available locally, I was willing to at least set the wheels in motion.

The morning that we decided to drive out west to get this rolling, I made the mistake of checking out Yelp reviews on the dealership it would be shipped to before we left, and it left such a bad taste in my mouth I started looking elsewhere. (Little did I realize that Yelp reviews of auto dealerships are uniformly horrific because buying a car is a horrific experience no matter how good it may be.)

It didn't take me long to find similar cars—albeit all with a six-speed automatics—at several local dealers. We hit the nearest dealer for a test drive to determine if I could in fact make the switch to an automatic without regretting it, and four hours later I drove Rabbit off the lot. Yes, Virginia. Four hours. As I said, a horrific experience.

But it was worth it. It was love, although aspects of the "new" car did take some getting used to. Things had changed in the ten years which had passed between the time Anderson and Rabbit rolled off their respective assembly lines.

Over the past year, however, I've grown accustomed to Rabbit's quirks. There are four things that to this day drive me nuts, but I thought they were just me. Turns out they aren't. I was surprised to learn that I wasn't the only one to find these obvious flaws so annoying:

While he has a 2015 model and I don't have the reverse gear issue this guy does because mine is an automatic, the other four things he mentions do resonate—especially the lack of Bluetooth Audio (apparently correctable through a firmware update) and the position of the passenger side rearview mirror.

I also regret losing the xenon headlights I had on Anderson.

Because it's a string of DNA and a skill set I do not possess and a gut-wrenching fear of fucking something up that I can't fix, I'm not one who ever mods his cars—but I do love watching the MINI videos on YouTube that show you all the things you can do (like replacing the halogen headlights with xenon or putting in the Union Jack tail lights). If nothing else, as tempting as attempting the mods in these videos may be, they remind me of how I can and probably would fuck things up royally if I tried doing any of them myself.

They also remind me of how insanely much I love driving this brand…

My god, that color!

(And it's also kinda funny how it spontaneously sprouted bonnet stripes in that second picture. Photoshop, anyone?)

Rabbit has Sport Mode. I've never had a vehicle with this feature, and for the past year I couldn't get a definitive explanation of exactly what Sport Mode was. Then I found this:

Sport mode will dampen power steering so that the wheel takes more effort to turn, makes an automatic transmission stay in gear longer so that RPMs will climb higher before shifting gears, increases throttle response so the gas pedal is more sensitive, and if you have dynamic dampening suspension it'll stiffen it by about 10%. 

When it's engaged, I do notice a difference in the car, but it was impossible to put it into words. I mean, I liked it, but not knowing exactly what it was doing made me (insert drum roll for the old man here)…uneasy…about keeping it continually engaged.

Now that I know what's happening I feel fine using it over not using it.

If you guessed that the stripes are backwards, you win!

As you may (or may not) remember, Rabbit got his "bonnet" stripes back in August of last year. At the time I was kind of torn as to whether or not I wanted to do the "boot" stripes as well, but ultimately decided to put it off because I wasn't sure of the aesthetics and the cost was 150% of the front stripes. (It's the labor of removing the badging.)

Since we have a little "extra" cash these days—thanks to our former landlord literally burning us out of house and home—I decided to revisit the rear stripes. I'd seen a few around town and online and the look really grew on me. So about a week and a half ago I took Rabbit in to get his butt done. (This is normally a one-day job.)

That afternoon I got a call from my service rep informing me that the vinyl shop had discovered that one of the stripes had a pretty bad kink in it and they'd need to get another one—and the soonest that could happen was the following Monday.

So I did some internal grumbling because I didn't exactly relish the thought of two additional days in the loaner, but as Ben often says, "It was what it was."

The car was ready late Monday afternoon, and I picked it up literally ten minutes before the shop closed. I walked outside and snapped the quick picture you see above.

Something seemed off, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

While I was stopped on the way home, I looked at the photo and then looked at the hood stripes. They'd applied the rear stripes backward! The narrow stripes were supposed to be inside the wide stripes as they'd done (correctly) months ago on the hood!

I called the next morning and was told to bring the car back in "for them to inspect."

Tuesday morning I arrived and the guy who does nothing more than check you in when you arrived walked around the back and I saw him shaking his head.

"Have you ever seen this?" I asked.

He replied that no, this was a new one.

By the time I was fully checked in, every one of the service advisors had taken a gander and they were—to use a perfect word the Brits have for situations like this—gobsmacked.

And oh yeah…when they'd sent the car out to be washed, it came back without the antenna. (They normally put it somewhere in the car, but it was nowhere to be found.)

So my advisor said they'd take care of it all and put me in another loaner.

The car was ready for pickup yesterday, so at lunch I drove down to retrieve ol' Rabbit.

The stripes were correct (braise the baby cheebus!), but the antenna—that the service advisor said had been replaced before sending it out to be washed—was missing!

To their credit, they walked over to the parts department and returned with another brand new stubby antenna like had been on the car prior to this fiasco and screwed it in.

Apparently both the car wash and  the vinyl shops are not a direct part of this MINI dealership; they're entities under the umbrella of the parent corporation and this was not the first time antennas had gone missing…

So after more than a week for a task that should've taken a day, Rabbit has his rear strips. Was it worth it? Do they bring me joy? I may not go that far, but I am quite pleased with the final product.

Yeah, I know it's kind of silly what with everything else that's going on in the world right now, but I really liked the MINI logo puddle lights on the loaner I had a few weeks ago and wanted to add them to Rabbit. I mean, you've gotta find your little bits of joy where you can these days, right?

Granted, these aren't exactly the same thing as on the loaner (those were projected on the outside of the car from the door latch as you approached the vehicle), but they're the official MINI replacement for the standard puddle lights on the vehicle and that's good enough for me.

Just no.

TLDR: I discovered where the tow hook was stored and finally got the "entertainment center" to play music from a USB stick since it doesn't work natively with my iPhone without a special adapter.

Rambling Version: The other day the question came up as to the location of Rabbit's tow hook. I didn't need it, obviously, but was curious as to where it was, or if it had gone missing while in the possession of AutoNation like the center console the car supposedly shipped with. (An ongoing story for another time.)

Anderson's tow hook was stowed with the jack and associated paraphernalia under the floor in the rear storage area, but since Rabbit came with run-flat tires, there was no spare tire, and hence no need for a jack. I searched the owner's manual and found no mention of it. That led me to the Google, where I learned it would most likely be under one or the other of the front seats. I checked, and sure enough, it was wedged into a special holder in the floor under the driver's seat.

One disappointment I have with this car (because it's a 2016 model, having come out before total onboard connectivity was a thing) was the inability to play music from my phone natively through the car's built-in Bluetooth (or even through the single USB jack) without the purchase of a special adapter that plugs into both the USB and the AUX IN ports. Ugly.

Apparently I can play music stored on a "usb device" through the USB port, so I tried it yesterday. I copied a couple gig worth of audio files from iTunes to a spare USB key I had, and yes, it worked. Perfect, I thought!

That particular drive was 256GB (overkill for this process), so I mirrored the music collection I had on my iPhone onto a 32GB flash drive, plugged it into the car and…nothing. Wasn't even recognized.

Okay…did I forget to format it as FAT, and had left it as APFS or Mac OS Extended? So I reformatted it in my work laptop running Win10 and copied all the files back. Again, no love.

Turns out the car didn't like (for whatever reason) that particular brand of USB key. I reformatted the original one I'd used, copied the collection again to verify I wasn't losing my mind, and it worked just fine.

Why didn't I just use that one? Well, like I said, it was overkill considering I was only transferring about 16GB of music to begin with, and it was a rather long key that presented the opportunity of getting knocked around and trashing the car's USB port in the process. I had to find another solution (the 32GB stick was much shorter).

So last night I ordered one of those tiny USB sticks (the ones that are the size of a wireless mouse dongle) made by Samsung from Amazon for $10. It arrived today. I loaded up the music collection and it works just fine.

 

Today was a paid holiday for me, so I tore myself from the computer and took the opportunity to get out of the house for a few minutes while practicing socially-responsible distancing and took Rabbit to Dreamy Draw for his "new car" photo shoot. I didn't come in contact with another human being the whole time.

I told the Rabbit to make love to the camera. I think he succeeded.

He needs stripes. It was a year before Anderson got his. Might be just as long with Rabbit…

AKA Buying a Car

"The ninth, and final, circle of Hell is reserved for sinners who committed treachery. Dante thought there was no sin worse than betrayal of trust."

Seems appropriate.

While places like AutoNation and Carmax would have you believe that they've "streamlined and perfected" the car buying experience, it's complete bullshit.

Granted, their no-haggle pricing is a thing. The number quoted online was the price I paid for the car itself, but everything else—getting financing, buying an extended warranty—was the same bartering bullshit as it's always been.

It didn't help that my salesman (let's call him Derek) didn't score points right off the bat by saying, "I'll need you to move the car; I can't drive a stick," as we were walking toward a totally different MINI than on the printout I'd given him.

"That's not the car," I said.

"My apologies." (This was to become his mantra for the rest of the afternoon.)

It also didn't help that Derek—or apparently his service team—also didn't have a clue about the workings of a MINI, which certainly did not inspire my confidence. Even losing track of all the technological changes in the MINI line in years since I bought Anderson, I still had a better understanding of the car than he did.

I knew the moment I got behind the wheel of Rabbit, that I wanted the car. But I wasn't blind. Right off I noticed that the rear passenger tire was throwing a low pressure warning, as well as some other, undefined warning symbol was appearing on the display. After inspecting the tire, we both decided the sensor just needed to be reset, but at the time I didn't have a clue how to accomplish this.

"I'll have my guys take care of it."

The test drive was uneventful. I was doing this for more than anything to see if I'd be happy going back to an automatic transmission. While I definitely prefer the control a stick provides, this tranny was responsive and something I could live with.

And then the bullshit began.

Considering the history I shared with Anderson, I knew an extended warranty on any MINI going forward was a must—especially since this might very well be the last car I can afford to buy and would realistically want to keep it running as long as I did Anderson. (I do want to retire at some point, after all.) I specifically set my upper limit on a monthly payment below what I was actually willing to spend to account for the added expense of an extended warranty, but even I was taken aback when the finance guy returned with a full warranty package that added nearly $6K to the price of the car and pushed the monthly payments well over $500 a month.

That wasn't happening.

Thankfully there were several different packages I could choose from, with each offering customizable options. I didn't need or want routine oil changes to be covered, appearance (paint) protection, or a host of other items that were available. I simply wanted the drive train and basic electrical and mechanical items covered. Back and forth we went, with a string of indomitable 20 minute periods spent sitting and waiting for that blasted finance guy to return return with a new offer. I mean seriously.

"I apologize for the wait."

They really wanted to sell me more bullshit coverage than I wanted or needed. (Must be a cash cow for the dealership.) After nearly 90 minutes of this crap I agreed to take the fucking oil change service in addition to the mechanical/electrical breakdown coverage in exchange for a much lower interest rate on the loan. Done.

And then it was another forty-five minute wait while they prepped the car.

(Note to Derek: When you have nothing else to do when they're getting the car ready to deliver or the finance guy is bullshitting backstage, do NOT come and sit at the table with us without saying a word. It is creepy as FUCK.)

When the car was finally ready, I got in and saw that now ALL FOUR tires were showing low pressure, and the undefined warning symbol was still illuminated.

"I apologize."

"They said the warnings will disappear once you drive it for a while."

From experience I knew that was also bullshit, but I also knew it was only a matter of resetting the computer to accept the new pressures (I'd done this often with Anderson). The undefined warning light was more concerning, but they had a 5-day return policy, and I figured if I couldn't discern what was happening and it didn't disappear on its own the car would go back.

Like I said, I wanted the car, but not so much that I wasn't willing to walk away from the deal.

When all was said and done, it was 4:30 pm. (We had been there since noon.) After getting the car home, I had time to look through the manual (still brand new and unopened – obviously the previous owner had never even looked at it) and found the reset procedure, which took care of the four low air pressure warnings. The undefined warning symbol was oil related, so I checked the oil level (which was fine), replaced the dipstick, and after restarting the car that warning disappeared as well. (I guess it's like the unseated gas cap warning? The stick hadn't been fully inserted.)

Since that time I noticed that one of the license plate bulbs was burnt out, the stubby antenna was missing and—probably most troubling of all—the center console that was shown in the online photos of the car—had mysteriously disappeared between the time the photos were taken and my test drive.

I've already replaced the bulb and antenna, and have emailed them regarding the console, but I seriously doubt I'll hear anything back.* (The car was sold "as-is") and frankly at this point I hope I never have to set foot in that dealership again.

*Update: I just got an email from Derek telling me he'd "find out what happened to those items." Ugh.

When I woke up yesterday it was not my intention to go out and guarantee that I wouldn't be retiring for the next six years, but that's exactly what happened.

Originally the plan had been to take a drive out to Tolleson and pay a visit to CarMax to arrange that a MINI Countryman I'd been eyeing be shipped down from Henderson, Nevada, so I could take a test drive and hopefully like the car enough to buy it.

Instead, I went online and started searching other dealers' inventories in Phoenix just to see what was available. A lot of them had vehicles similar to what I was looking for, but unfortunately they all had automatic transmissions and I really wanted to stay with a stick. (The car in Henderson was a six-speed stick). Call me old fashioned, but with the exception of my New Beetle back in the late 90s, every car I've owned has had a manual transmission.

After reading the Yelp reviews of the Carmax dealership, it spooked me. The reviews either seemed to be only one-star or five-star, with the one-star far outnumbering the five. It was time to rethink my priorities.

I decided to take one of these local automatic Countrymen for a test drive, and after grabbing lunch with Ben, we headed to the north valley AutoNation. Surprisingly, I didn't hate it. In fact, I pretty much loved every aspect of the car. The no-haggle price and projected monthly payments were in line with everywhere else I'd looked online, so four hours later (I'll be blogging about that too), and committing myself to not retiring for another six years, I bid a bittersweet farewell to Anderson, my faithful companion for the last fourteen (!!!) years, and we drove off.

When the new car bug hit me a few months ago, after seeing a lime green Jeep Renegade I was intrigued. But could I see myself in a different brand after a decade and a half as a MINI owner? Not a chance. I knew in my heart that if I'd gotten anything other than another MINI, every time I saw one on the road I'd sigh and wish that things were different. Also keeping in mind that barring winning the Lotto and being set financially for life, the next car I bought would probably realistically be my last if I ever hoped to retire, and I really wanted to be sure it was something I wanted.

I need to start budgeting for a new vehicle.

I don't know how long most people own a car before they reach the point when washing it that they say, "good enough," but I've definitely reached that point with Anderson.

When I first got him, he'd get washed twice a week. Sometimes I'd even get up early, just to do it before heading to work. I'd obsess over every nook and cranny. No streaks were allowed anywhere and he'd get a full waxing every couple months. I'd even jack the car up periodically take the wheels off to clean inside the rims.

But now? This past year or so he's lucky if he gets washed every two months. I just want to get the dirt off. Every nook and cranny does not get obsessed over. I still want it to look nice, but let's face it: Anderson is eleven years old and no matter what I do he's showing his age. Because of the way I get in and out of my car, the driver side upholstery is in tatters (happens with every car I've owned). The one headlight that wasn't replaced five years ago has completely oxidized. All the black plastic trim has faded beyond repair, and the black rubber gaskets at the base of the windows are revealing themselves to be black rubber paint on top of metal frames. So that's why today, after wetting the car down, doing a quick wash, rinse and dry followed by an equally-quick once-over of the interior I announced "Good enough!" and packed it in.