Dear Leader is bugfuck nuts.

we know this. it’s not open to debate. we’ve all seen the erratic behavior. the pants-shittingly infantile tantrums. the utter lack of impulse control. the mood swings. the ever-shifting incoherence he wreaks on the world, as the family of raccoons that live inside his fat, waterlogged head randomly chew through allthe wires.

but you know who else is equally deranged?

Preznit Fuckwit’s stalker-slash-diaper-nurse, that’s who.

you know who I’m talking about: the Ivanka-esque blonde who’s ever-present, following three steps behind Dear Leader, everywhere he goes. the one whose official job is to make a broken-inside rage-baby feel good about himself.

Donny went on a posting spree yesterday, one that was even more crazypants than usual, shitting out dozens of childish memes all over his crappy app.

but of course, it wasn’t Donny pulling those antics all by himself. it’s Natalie Harp who curates all that shit in the first place and shows it to Donny, at which point he goes ‘hurr hurr hurr, so funny.’

so yeah, she’s every bit as bugfuck nuts as Dear Leader.

she’s also every bit as transphobic.

isn’t that charming? Donny and the diaper nurse are doubling down on the childish ‘Kaitlan Collins and Dylan Mulvaney, who can even tell them apart’crack that Donny made at the Correspondents’ Dinner. why? it wasn’t a particularly clever — or even remotely accurate — remark. it’s just a sad reminder that we’re dealing with the most infantile administration ever. it’s just sewer clowns and bridge trolls.

now, somebody please explain to me, what the fuck even is this?

seriously, who’s panicking? who is this aimed at? it’s just Donny and Nattie, high on their own supply, smiling at each other and going ‘they’re so scared of us.’

how fucking dumb.

and it’s all so delusional.

which man, exactly, ‘saved America’? the psychotic teenager who was so out of control that his cold and distant parents shipped him off to a military academy, so he’d be out of their hair? the serial predator who used to fight with his dead pedo bestie over which one of them had the right to ‘own’ the Motel-a-Lago ‘spa girls’? the racist game show host? or the current doughy pantload in the Oval Bordello?

who even comes up with this stuff? oh look, it’s the worst remake of North by Northwest ever.

let’s get real. any real-life scenario where George Washington meets Dear Leader would simply be George repeatedly smacking Donny upside the head and going ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? America doesn’t have kings, you stupid dipshit.’

how MAGA-pickled does your brain have to be to sit down at an AI prompt and go ‘draw me Dear Leader saving George Washington from falling off of Mount Rushmore and there should be a clock with lightning in the sky, because it’s all something something something time travel’?

this is like proudly announcing to the world, ‘look how mentally ill I am.’

so is this.

let’s do a quick fact check. does Donny in real life actually look as handsome and heroic as he does in that AI-generated drek?

yeeesh.

of course he doesn’t. that ‘cosmic commander’ bullshit is just the diaper nurse stroking the piss-baby’s ego. ‘look how rugged you are, sir!’

seriously, how can Natalie keep from swooning, being in such close proximity to such a hunk of alpha masculinity?

it’s all so fucking idiotic. no other world leader needs to be coddled like this. no other head of state runs their own social media site devoted to stroking their fragile ego. at this point, even Kim Jong-un has to be all ‘come on, dude. tone it down. you’re embarrassing yourself.’

and then there was this shit. Donny and Nattie farted out at about a dozen variations on the ‘Donny 2028’ theme, each one dumbfuckier than the next.

oh please. Donny wishes he looked anywhere near that good, ever.

it’s time for another fact check. here’s a photo from yesterday, by Matt Kaminsky, of Dear Leader waddling his way back to the White House after cheating at golf.

look, I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a prediction: there isn’t going to be any serious effort to run Donny again in 2028. all we’re seeing here is Donny’s minders trying to troll us, and get us all riled up over nothing. it’s a distraction — along with a generous dollop of letting Donny think he has a chance to run in 2028, just to keep him mollified.

but here’s where Nattie and Donny’s posting spree goes from stupid to reckless.

oh gee, Commander Crazypants is warmongering again. I have no idea what he imagines he’s accomplishing here, aside from antagonizing the country that’s currently shut down the Strait of Hormuz. does Donny actually believe that shitting out threats on social media is an effective way of negotiating?

Donny has clownfucked himself into an unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran, a quagmire that’s now in it’s fifth month, with no end in sight — and now he’s making things worse for himself, by posting first and thinking never.

oh, it’s our tanker now? what, we’re going to board Iranian oil tankers? just like that?

that’s a pretty strong boast — especially considering that there are reports that Donny’s gin-soaked Secretary of Death had to put his jolly little war on hold, because we’re fucking running out of munitions.

The U.S. military had been poised Friday to launch an intensive series of strikes against Iran, which could have lasted up to two weeks, the officials said.

But the operation was delayed so diplomacy could proceed and as officials discussed the effect a major attack could have on the U.S.’s shrinking stocks of Patriot and other air defense interceptors.

gee, maybe Piss-Drunk Pete should have spent less time obsessing over the testosterone levels of his warfighting warfighters and more time on making sure he had enough bombs on hand to win the war he thought would be over in an afternoon.

which brings us to this exchange between Meet the Press’ Kristen Welker and UN Ambassador Mike Waltz, because — well, you have to hear it to believe it.

Welker: “NBC News is reporting that the Pentagon is actually rationing some defense weaponry amid diminishing supplies. is America backing away from a larger military attack because our stockpile has been depleted?”

Waltz: “look, we have to take a step back here. a lot of stockpiles were depleted … the administration inherited a depleted military under the Biden administration.”

Welker: “but you acknowledge that they’re depleted?”

Waltz: “I want to be crystal clear. the US military has everything that it needs to conduct this campaign, and I have to tell you, the people who are leaking this nonsense deserve to be in jail.”

got that? America doesn’t have enough munitions, because of that meanie Joe Biden, who was old and icky and smelled bad — but we also have more munitions than we need, and anyone saying otherwise needs to rot in prison.

hey, speaking of rotting in prison — everything totally fucking sucks right now, but at least we can all enjoy Andrew Tate (or, more likely, some flunky posting for him) continuing to bellyache about how super unfair it is for an ahem alleged rapist and sex trafficker awaiting extradition for his ahem allegedcrimes to be deprived of his liberty.

boo fucking hoo.

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It feels like a good portion of this nation is on death watch right now.

My social media feed is filled with photos and videos gleefully documenting the markers of his physical deterioration, with rising hope as his public appearances grow more sporadic, with almost giddy prognostications of his departure date from this place. People are posting their plans as if preparing for New Year’s Eve or a World Series Championship.

I am not exactly one of those people.

Yes, he has been an odious blight upon this planet and a cancerous presence to this nation. He is, without question, one of the single most objectively horrible human beings our species has produced.

Setting aside the reality that his passing would elevate a successor who is smarter, shrewder, less impulsive, and potentially far more effective in accelerating this country’s slide into theocracy, authoritarianism, and economic devastation for everyone but the billionaire cadre of amoral tech bro vampires who elevated him to the platform to begin with.

But I don’t wish for his death.

I wish he’d never been born.

If he departs this mortal sphere as I type this, it will do nothing to undo all the evil that his now bruised hands have wrought, to erase every vile thing his presence has exposed as he ascended politically.

It will not rewind the years of those who lived in squalor and poverty in New York City, on whose backs he built his jittery, hollow empire.

His death will not bring financial restitution to the thousands of workers and contractors left abandoned by the many bankruptcies that emancipated him from responsibility.

It won’t give back wholeness and healing to the girls and women he violated in secret or maligned in public.

It will not reverse the irreparable damage he has done to a political party whose members individually and collectively abandoned every legal and moral expectation to fall prostrate before him.

It will not elicit repentance in a white Evangelical Church that parted ways with the compassionate, loving namesake of its faith tradition and fashioned a vicious, sneering, profane, God-mocking idol out of his antithesis and bowed down before it.

His passing now could not allow us to unsee the repugnant grievance cult he unleashed here; the historically hateful movement of miserable people who’ve spent the last decade reveling in an unrepentant ugliness because he gave them consent.

It will not remove the legion of incompetent, predatory, corrupt sycophants he poisoned our government with; people who have and will continue to dismantle and pervert our systems of care and legal oversight.

And his death, as much as it would feel like an initial reprieve from the chaos he has engineered and the unfathomable suffering he has spearheaded, would do nothing to conceal the vile sickness he exposed within the people around us: the long-simmering racism, the scalding contempt for foreigners, the phobic hatred of human beings for their gender identity or sexual orientation.

Long after he is gone, we will be left with what we now know about our family members and friends and neighbors; about the people in our churches, about the parents of our children’s friends; about the pillars of our communities, about those we trust to govern us, to protect and serve us.

These atrocities, sadly, will all long outlive him.

He lived, and his life has done its brutal, irreversible damage.

And with that being true, I do not wish for his death; not yet.

I hope and pray that he lives long enough to face legal accountability for his crimes; that he will not depart this place before escaping consequences for the willful disregard he has spent 80 years showing for the laws of our land, for the disparate humanity that has called this place home, and for the sacred and powerful platform he never deserved to begin with.

I want him to live long enough to face a cell before he faces his maker.

And I want to live long enough to see it.

That will be cause for true celebration.

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here comes a spoiler alert: you know that deteriorating Oompa Loompa in the Oval Bordello — the one with the fluorescent tangerine yap and the fucked-up rat’s nest of cotton candy bullshit on his head, and the stinky diapers, and the cankles, and the neckgina, and the rotting hands — the one who’s turned America into a festering shithole?

well, it turns out that he isn’t very popular. in fact, he’s fucking toxic.

that sound you hear is Donny Convict’s poll numbers cratering.

According to a new Washington Post-Ipsos poll released yesterday, only 15% of Americans strongly approve of Trump’s job as president, down 2% from what was already a record low in April. For context, the first poll conducted after the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol still had 27% of the country strongly approving of Trump, down from a high of 35% the year before. His once “unshakable” base has now dwindled to about 1 in 6 Americans. Nearly half, or 47%, strongly disapprove.

wrap your mind around that: only 15% of Americans ‘strongly approve’ of Dear Leader.

that 15% represents what remains of the MAGA chuds who are too dim to realize that Donny has made their lives worse, along with everyone else’s — and there are only about as half as many of these brain-dead dipshits now as there were when Donny did his failed crybaby insurrection five and a half years ago.

let’s put that number in perspective.

Still, 15% of Americans are hanging strong with Trump. But then again, that’s less than the 19% who aren’t convinced the earth is round. Some people just don’t want to acknowledge reality.

yup, there are more dumbfucks walking around refusing to believe what their own eyes tell them about the shape of the planet than there are ‘strong’ supporters of Donny.

is it any wonder that Dear Leader is toxic right now? everything totally fucking sucks, it’s his fault, and everyone knows it.

we’ve got state-sponsored racism, and masked government thugs gunning down whoever looks at them funny. greed and corruption are off the charts, with a chief executive whose only interests are lining his own pockets and turning the White House into an even tackier version of his Florida golf motel.

and we’ve got that unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran that just resulted in the tragic deaths of two more American service members.

nobody voted for that shit. oh sure, Dear Leader’s cultists may have voted for the racism and the incoherence and the owning the libs, but they sure as hell didn’t vote for some clusterfuck of a war that’s raised the price of every fucking thing. so even they’re pissed at Donny right now.

plus, he’s a fuck-up. he’s fucked up our once-strong economy. he’s fucked up our relationships with our allies. he’s fucked up the East Wing, the South Lawn, the Rose Garden, and the Reflecting Pool.

he even fucked up America’s 250th birthday party. who fucks up a birthday party?

Donny, apparently.

how completely fucking embarrassing. you only get one shot at a 250th birthday party, and Donny whiffed.

so yeah, even the law-wattage chuds are starting to figure out that he’s not the messiah they thought he was. he’s a very naughty boy.

enjoy your 15% ‘strong approval’ rating, Donny. you did that!

you know what else is unpopular? ass-spraying mayhem. that shit’s got a zero percent strong approval rating.

you know what else is unpopular? ass-spraying mayhem. that shit’s got a zero percent strong approval rating.

Grocers and retailers rushed to pull products containing iceberg lettuce off shelves on Saturday, as Taylor Farms issued a recall, notifying customers that lettuce shipped to 27 states may have been contaminated.

The largest produce company in the country is under scrutiny after federal officials linked the company’s Mexico plant to an outbreak of illness from cyclospora, a parasite that can cause severe illness, including vomiting, cramping and explosive diarrhea.

now, it’s all well and good that shit is finally being dealt with, but check out this paragraph that’s buried down all the way at the bottom of the NY Times’ report.

On Thursday evening, Taylor Farms executives met with the White House and the Food and Drug Administration to try to distance the company from the outbreak and air concerns about the official investigations into the outbreak.

what the fuck?

the fact that these sons of bitches were at the White House, trying to obfuscate their culpability, should be the lede of the story — not something mentioned in passing two paragraphs up from the end. most folks don’t even bother to read that far.

on top of that: how did Taylor Farms executives end up at the White House, anyway, right in the middle of this developing story? what corrupt shitwaddery is this?

I asked Google’s janky six-fingered plagiarism robot if Taylor Farms’ CEO had ever made political donations to Donny, and oh fucking boy, has he ever.

Bruce Taylor, CEO and chairman of Taylor Fresh Foods (Taylor Farms), and his company have a history of contributing to conservative and Republican political campaigns, including a notable $1 million donationtied to pro-Trump political funding infrastructure. Public campaign finance data and recent federal disclosures tracked by sources like OpenSecretsoutline these contributions. [1, 2, 3, 4]

oh, and the fuckery afoot here gets worse — and goes back more than a decade. feast your eyes on this, from the World Socialist Web Site.

In August 2013, the FDA’s traceback confirmed that the salad mix behind cyclosporiasis outbreaks in Iowa and Nebraska was supplied by Taylor Farms’ Mexican subsidiary to Olive Garden and Red Lobster restaurants. The FDA stated then, as the company states now, that grocery store packages were not implicated. That season, 631 laboratory-confirmed cases were reported across 25 states.

In October 2024, slivered onions Taylor Farms supplied to McDonald’s caused an E. coli O157:H7 outbreak that killed one person and sickened more than 100.

everyone should be fucking furious right now. this is yet one more example of off-the-charts corporate greed and corruption. Taylor Farms has been sickening and even killing Americans for years, and has been allowed to escape accountability, over and over.

and of course, Little Donny Fuckface is right in the middle of it, hosting late-night meetings with the culprits.

color me shocked.

everything continues to totally fucking suck, but at least we can enjoy watching Andrew and Tristan Tate getting arrested.

Andrew and Tristan Tate have been arrested in US on British extradition request. They face 59 charges of rape, trafficking for sexual exploitation, assault and offences relating to indecent images of a child and extreme pornography.

this couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple of shitweasels. here’s the video.

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as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: you wanna talk about ‘deformed’?

Nosferatu McGoebbels is what would happen if an irrational hatred of all that is decent and good in this world became a real boy.

just take a listen to what this undead shit-goblin has on his mind.

“it’s not a coincidence that when you look at these violent Antifa demonstrations, not one of the people that is demonstrating looks like a normal person. not one looks normal. they’re all deformed in some way in their appearance, in their dress, in their mannerism.”

‘deformed’?

bro, have you looked in a mirror lately?

wait, what am I saying here? vampires can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

okay, that certainly explains a lot.

let’s just give the final word on the subject of Stephen Miller to the folks at The Onion, because they’re so fucking good at this.

tuesday: smell that? that’s the sweet smell of liberty

now let’s all watch as MAGA screech monkey Eric Metaxas teaches a master class in the difference between freedom and free dumb.

“‘air quality alert.’ so you’re like, okay, whatever that means. it’s going to be hot and humid, okay, air quality alert. then it says, it tells you, limit outdoor activity. and I thought, who’s telling me how to live my life? I’m an adult man, in a free country. you’re telling me, ‘limit outdoor activity’? so this is Big Brother with your tax dollars, telling you how to live? how dare they? how dare they say that? who are they? who has the right to tell me or you or anyone anything? it’s a free country, I can do whatever I want. but somebody in the government has the temerity to say ‘limit outdoor activity.’”

okay, I had to watch that clip two or three times, just to make sure that Eric Metaxas wasn’t mocking people who think like this. oh no, he’s serious. he’s super fucking outraged to be asked to follow voluntary health guidelines.

dude, Canada is burning to the ground right now, and all that smokey shit is floating right right down into our country. yeah, for your own good, you might want to avoid filling your lungs with that.

oh, you think so? well you can get the fuck out of here with your useful advice, because nobody tells Eric Metaxas what to do.

and this, my friends, is the difference between freedom and free dumb.

freedom is the ability to live your life as you see fit. free dumb is doing stupid shit specifically because someone tells you not to.

this is why so many of these dumbfucks died during covid — because nobody tells MAGA what to do.

so go for it, Eric. step outside and breathe deeply. fill your chest with all that smokey goodness. mmm, feel that tightness? that overwhelming urge to cough up a lung? that’s free dumb!

and while you’re at it, go play in traffic. that’ll really stick it to The Man.

wednesday: attention, citizens! new patriot guidelines have dropped

yes, this is an actual post that the White House put up on Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium.

okay, the top row is pretty easy to figure out. don’t tread on the flag, yadda yadda. whatever. the bottom row is a complete mystery. what’s the unpatriotic part, being a sore loser? being a sore winner? not showing up at all for the bronze medal? oh wait — it’s being a guy and playing women’s sports. way to be incoherent AND completely fucking transphobic at the same time, White House.

but it’s the middle row that really has me perplexed. wearing a sombrero is unpatriotic? really?

now, I wanted to know if everyone’s gotten the memo on this. so, in the name of Responsible Journalism and Everything™, I asked Google’s janky six-fingered plagiarism robot to show me ‘pictures of Republicans wearing sombreros’ — and this is what it served up: six-time international lap hockey champion Handy Oakley, tarted up for Halloween in Mexican cosplay, along with her boyfriend, dressed as in ICE thug.

they’re such charming people. so classy. I hope the vigorous beetlejuicings this guy is getting is worth the embarrassment of being seen in public with a complete ninny

but the plagiarism robot also showed me this.

and this.

so now I’m really confused.

hey guys — don’t nobody tell Eric Metaxas that he’s not allowed to wear a sombrero, because you know what he’ll do next.

thursday: just fuck off

now, why am I unsurprised to learn that Fox News found object Jesse Watters is a brainless giggling shitstack who thinks rape is super fucking hilarious?

“women on base, you better be careful, HEH HEH. port calls, women, HEH, Asia, you better be careful. because these guys are going to be wild animals and you better watch out. [bursts out laughing]”

shut the fuck up, piggy. what the fuck is wrong with you?

friday: the further adventures of Some Fucking Idiot™

on Friday, some fucking idiot threw one of his most childish tantrums ever — and that’s saying a lot.

the fucking idiot got Big Mad at Canada for allowing themselves to burn to the ground.

I shit you not.

how dare Canada inconvenience us with their stupid smoke? why aren’t they raking their forests? well, the fucking idiot’s gonna settle Canada’s hash, but good. he’s going to make them pay a smoke tariff! boo-yah, Canada!

what a fucking idiot.

the fucking idiot also got Big Mad at that imaginary inflatable Antifa frog who put that skillionty-mile-long slash into his beloved Epstein Reflecting Pool.

look at what Antifa is making the fucking idiot do. now he has to go out and find a vandal-proof liner.

gee, if only there were some way of putting a fucking-idiot-proof liner around the entire country.

then it was time for the fucking idiot to attend his one scheduled public event for the day: a reception for FIFA at his fugly golden tower in New York City.

the fucking idiot used this festive occasion to whine once again about the 2020 election, and also to ramble incoherently about [checks notes] not getting credit for [checks notes again] 250 years? what the fuck?

fact check: the fucking idiot’s father was born in The Bronx.

here, the fucking idiot asks if anyone knows what he’s talking about. the answer is no.

apparently, the fucking idiot’s freakishly tall son is freakishly awesome at handling balls. who knew?

finally, when the reception was over, the fucking idiot, looking extremely svelte, was forklifted into his big boy booster seat on Marine One and flown to his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery, where he’ll be spending the weekend.

and because the press wasn’t allowed at any point to get near the fucking idiot, not one reporter had the opportunity to stand up and, at long last, ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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