Category: Pondering Life

I think you reach a point in life where the obsessions of your youth are no longer quite so important as they once were. While flipping through an issue of Details this morning and seeing the article that screamed "Must Have Looks for Fall" I got to thinking how silly it all is. Fashion, like a lot of things in life, is transitory. What's hot today is going to be considered dated tomorrow, so why worry about it? That's why I think it's important that people find their own sense of style. Find clothes that are comfortable, match your lifestyle, and don't break the bank—because sooner or later all of it ends up at Goodwill or in the garbage.

For me, my personal style has been T-Shirts, Polos, and jeans for as long as I can remember. Once upon a time they were the official uniform of the clone brigade in the bars and I always felt less than properly dressed when I showed up in a polo shirt that sported an English flag instead of a green alligator.  (Even back in the day the premium paid for that little alligator was more than I could afford. Funny how things never seem to change.)

Out of habit, I still wear most shirts tucked in. After seeing some makeover show several years ago I know that alone has me teetering dangerously close to "doddering old fool" status, but I'm comfortable with it.  When my shirts aren't tucked in, they look (to me) like they're hanging down to my knees and it just doesn't work on this body.  Maybe it would look better if I didn't have the massive belly in the way. (BTW, weight is something else I no longer obsess about. I found it's easier to just love and accept myself as I am instead of obsessing over every plus-or-minus 5 pound swing I go through. It's sad when I read through old journals and remember that I was convinced if I could only lose 20 pounds―while easily fitting into size 33 jeans―all would be right in the world.  To my younger self I say, "Get over it. You're perfect just the way you are."

I never used to wear belts with my jeans. Of course, back then I had a butt that kept my pants from sliding off.

There are some things that I wore when I was younger that I won't wear today: white jeans. Leather jackets. Anything with a "Members Only" label. Frye boots (another one-time seeming requirement for going out dancing).

What about you? Have you found a style that works for you, day in and day out?

On a whim, last week I ordered copies of my college transcripts.  It's been thirty years, and since my memory of events surrounding me quitting shortly after starting the second year of a planned five year architectural degree program were a little fuzzy at this point, I was curious to see what my grades had been like.

Well, I received the transcripts yesterday, and in short, they were crap. I immediately remembered exactly why I quit school.  In my year-and-two-month university career, I failed History of Western Civilization (twice), College Algebra (twice, only finally passing during summer school at a local community college), and got a smattering of Cs and Ds for the remainder of the classes. The only thing I pulled higher than a C in my not-so-illustrious stint at the University of Arizona in was Freshman Composition, where I got a B.

This was in some ways kind of—but not totally—surprising to me either at the time or looking back on it now. While I had been an exemplary student in high school, graduating with a 3.5 (out of 4) grade point average and in the top 10% of my class, I was still ill-prepared on so many levels for the harsh realities and expectations of college life. Additionally, I also came out at the beginning of the second semester of my first year, and other factors notwithstanding, the resulting late night partying (and other debauchery) did not play nicely with 7 am trigonometry classes.

Ah, youth.

Early in my high school career, I had wanted to become an astronomer, and had planned on going to Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff.  Once I found out what the mathematics requirements were for such a degree however, I gave up all hope of that ever happening.  I barely eeked through with passing grades in High School algebra and trigonometry (the latter requiring extra-curricular tutoring), and I knew that calculus and differential equations (not to mention even higher math) would be totally beyond my ability.

So instead, I fell back on my inherited knack for architectural drafting and love of architecture.  (I was raised in a very design-oriented household.) But even with this major, my choice of the University of Arizona in Tucson over the much closer-to-home Arizona State in Tempe, was only because the architectural program at U of A did not require calculus as a prerequisite for admission, whereas ASU did.

Funny thing is, two decades later during my architectural career, I found myself using the algebraic and trigonometric concepts I had so struggled with in school without even so much as having to think about it. Funny, dat.

I shudder to think of how different my life would have been today if I'd gone to ASU instead of U of A.  While I might have graduated and gotten my degree because I'd have been living at home and keeping my nose to the grindstone during those critical first few years, I might never have even ventured to Tucson, where the thousands of events that led me to where I am now ultimately began.

I think it was an equitable trade-off.

Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?

Absolutely.  And not only do I believe it exists, but I believe the universe is teeming with it.  I would even go so far as to say that life is not only a by-product of the universe, but even moreso a requirement of it.  Do I believe we've been visited by extraterrestrials?  As much as I'd like to say yes, now I have to say probably not.

I love a good UFO/alien abduction tale as much as the next guy, but while it's not impossible, considering the distances involved and the technology required for interstellar flight it's all very, very unlikely. And on top of that, after spending the last 50 or so years observing humanity on this planet, I have come to the conclusion that if extraterrestrials are anything like us, as soon as they start taking their first tentative steps out of the nest, 99.9% of them either self-destruct over cultural differences and god-myths, or are wiped out by natural forces beyond their control.  The threat posed by rogue asteroids, comets, gamma ray bursts, catastrophic climatic change, super volcanoes and tectonic shifts certainly are not unique to the Earth, but ultimately I believe the risk of them wreaking planet-wide destruction is miniscule compared to the amount of havoc that can be unleashed by a civilization upon itself, either intentionally or through blind stupidity.

And what of the 0.1% of technological civilizations that do survive and achieve interstellar spaceflight?  I think they would be so different from us as to be virtually unrecognizable, and totally uninterested in Homo sapiens in any capacity, having seen the path we're heading down play itself out thousands of times before.

I was going to try and write something profound, but for some reason words are eluding me this afternoon.  All I can say is that I am reminded of what I wrote a year ago, "Yes, 2008 is definitely looking up, and I can only hope it's filled with as many pleasant surprises as 2007!" and think of the phrase, "Be careful of what you ask for, because you will get it."

2008 began with a new apartment, and ended with a new relationship, neither of which were even on my radar screen a year ago, and now I look ahead with nervous anticipation at what 2009 may have waiting in the wings.  (All of it good, but no doubt a lot of it also completely unexpected.)

All I can say for certain on this last afternoon of 2008 is that one year from now I will be changed—and changed for the better—from whom I am today.  I look forward to the wonderful new chapter in my life that meeting Ben and beginning our journey together has brought, and eagerly anticipate to the changes that will be brought about in our country by a having new President in the White House.

(Unlike some of my fellow bloggers, I'm still willing to cut Obama some slack; he's a newbie and is bound to make some horrific errors as he gets his footing as our elected leader.  If, however, two years from now he's still making the sorts of mistakes that have some of my copatriots up in arms, I will have to reconsider.  But for now…I'm willing to just wait and see how it all plays out.)

So with that thought, I sincerely wish all of you a Happy New Year, and hope the next twelve months will be as good to you as the last twelve months have been to me!

New Year's Eve has never been a night of raucous partying for me. More than anything else, it's that time when I look back and quietly take stock of the preceding year and give thanks for the blessings it's conferred.

2007 has been an interesting year. Leaving the deteriorating state of our country out of the equation (because it's such a mood killer), it really wasn't a half bad year for me personally.

A year ago I knew Marc only through his blog; since meeting him in February he's become one of my best friends in Arizona. Likewise I never would've expected to meet Adam, or that I would actually drive to Wyoming to meet Knottyboy. One year ago tonight if you'd told me that I'd be buying a new car—and a MINI at that—just three months later, I would've laughed uncontrollably.

On the other hand, I had been expecting the continual good reports on my throat that came through, if not the unexpected surgery in November to clear away some cobwebs. And while the satisfaction level with my job dropped almost to the point of forcing me to look for another position late last summer, even that returned to normalcy and this coming April I'll be celebrating a four year anniversary with the company.

Speaking of anniversaries, at the same time I'm celebrating the four year employment anniversary, I'll be celebrating that all important five-year mark of being cancer free.

Yes, 2008 is definitely looking up, and I can only hope it's filled with as many pleasant surprises as 2007!

Something else that was expected was Mom going into assisted living. Both my sister and I said a year ago that because of her advancing Alzheimer's, one year hence she would no longer be living on her own. We're actually going a bit over one year on that prediction, but it's come to fruition nonetheless. The coming year should also only be good for her, as she moves into an environment that can provide the increasing amount of care and attention that she will need as the disease progresses.

And just think…in only 385 more days, we'll have a new president and our long national nightmare will finally be over!

Hopefully.