…even though I don't believe in their fairy tales, he does check off all their boxes.
Seems Legit ?
"It's the Religion of Peace!"
Sunday Sacrelige
What do you think people would have tweeted at the crucifixion?
— God (@thegoodgodabove) July 23, 2022
The replies are the best.
My First Thought Upon Seeing This…
…was wouldn't it be awesome if instead of seeing some old white guy sitting on a throne as they expect, Christians were greeted wot this, and it announced to them that it was God? If they weren't already dead their heads would explode.
I mean, considering the terrifying description of angels in their so-called holy book, why would they expect the creator of all things to be anything resembling human?
But what about the whole, "Let us make man in our image" line, you ask? Setting aside the fact that believers have no explanation for the "us" and "our" in that line other than the hastily concocted, obviously polytheistic "holy trinity" bullshit, who's to say that "image" could just as easily mean, "as we imagine"?
Just askin'…
You're in a Toxic Relationship. Get Out.
The Greatest Hoax In All History
To Be Honest, It Does Seem A Little Rushed
Dear God…
Makes Perfect Sense
And On The Subject Of Organized Religion…
'MURIKA!
Gratuitous Justin Theroux
Because you can never get enough of Justin Theroux in grey sweatpants.
Filed under "religion," because I'm sure we're all ready to get down our knees and worship.
I Know It Doesn't Play Into Your Modern Narrative, But…
Canon Jesus is Better Than Fandom Jesus
While historical scholars are increasingly doubting the fact he even existed, this is an interesting take on one JC:
Jesus Christ was a brown Jew in the Middle East, conceived out of wedlock in an arguably interracial if not interspecies (deity and human) relationship, raised by his mother and stepfather in place of his absent father. He may not have had a Y chromosome. He spent his early youth as a refugee in Egypt, where his family no doubt survived initially on handouts from the wealthy (You think they kept that gold, frankincense, and myrrh from the wise men? Hell no, they sold that stuff for food and lodging). He later returned with his parents to their occupied homeland and lived in poverty.
The religion of Jesus's people has no concept of a permanent hell and instructed its priests on how to induce miscarriages. Jesus explicitly rejected the concept of disability as a divine punishment. He spoke out against religious hypocrites. He had enough respect for women to let his mother choose the time of his first miracle. He blessed a same sex couple. He told a rich man that he must give up his wealth to get to heaven, and also told a parable about a rich man suffering in agony in presumably Gehinnom (basically Purgatory) just to hammer the point home. He told people to pay their taxes. He declared "love your neighbor" to be one of the two commandments on which all laws hang. He commanded his followers to help the poor. He commanded them to help the sick and the needy. He spent time with social outcasts. He healed the servant of a high priest during his arrest rather than fighting back. He was put to death by the occupying government because he was a political radical.
Trump and his administration are xenophobic, misogynistic, racist, fear-mongering, warmongering, tax-dodging, anti-Semitic, anti-choice, anti-welfare, anti-equal pay, anti-LGBTQIA+, anti-immigration, support tax cuts for the rich, support Citizen's United, want to keep refugees out of this country, want to limit our ability to speak against the government, plan to abolish the Affordable Care Act, and they wrap all of that up behind a banner of "Christian family values." If you support them, you have no right to call yourself a follower of Christ.
(Source)
The Greeks Were So Much More Imaginative Than The Israelites
Stolen from the Internet
Think of it like a movie. The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. Then the Qu'ran comes out and it retcons like the last one never happened. There's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore, and the Messiah hasn't shown up yet.
Jews like the first movie, but ignore the sequels. Christians think you need to watch the first two but the third movie doesn't count. Muslims think the third one was the best, and the Mormons liked the second one so much that they started writing fan faction that doesn't fit with ANY of the series canon.
I Wish I Believed in Hell
Stop worrying about Target's bathrooms and start looking in your own damn churches, you motherfucking kiddie-fucking assholes!
From Towleroad:
TEXAS. Bureau of Investigation arrests two pastors for seeking sex with underage girls: "Jason Kennedy, 46, who held the role of children's pastor at Grace Baptist Church in Knoxville, and Zubin Parakh, 32, who is listed as the creative pastor at LifeHouse Church, were both nabbed in the undercover investigation. According to a police report seen by WVLT Kennedy had agreed to pay $100 for a half hour with two girls, one of whom was 15. Kennedy faces patronizing prostitution and trafficking charges—and could land in prison for up to 60 years. Kennedy has lost his job at Grace Baptist Church as a result of the investigation."
In Other Words, Keep It In Your Own Damn Pants
"Look, if you believe in God, that's a-ok with me, and the way in which you choose to believe doesn't concern me in the least, unless you try and make your faith the law of the land for others, too. If your faith gives you comfort, and it helps you in your efforts to become the best possible version of yourself, then I have no issue with that. Some of you just need to remember on occasion that your neighbor is just as deeply attached to his faith as you are to yours, and that your chance to convert him is about as good as his chance to convert you. Religion is an intensely private matter, and if you want to enjoy your religious freedom, you have to grant it to others as well, regardless of how much you disagree with their theology, or how much you'd like to see them saved. In the end, if you believe there's a judgment due, let God make it, and don't assume that the Creator and Mover of the Universe needs your help." ~ The Munchkin Wrangler
I've never seen my own beliefs so eloquently put into words. Bravo!
Quote of the Day
You can't communicate with people who think they've got all the answers." ~ Philip Pullman, author of His Dark Materials, on discussing issues with religious fundamentalists.
Time to Take Out the Trash
Let's face it, they're all well past their expiration dates and at this point they're just stinking up the planet.
"Because You Can't Evangelize and Antagonize at the Same Time!"
"Amazing delivery, and refreshing message! But, the core of his message is homosexuality is a sin and a shame, but we shouldn't judge that sin because we're all sinners. I reject the idea that homosexuality is a sin or a disorder at all. But he can't come out and say that without admitting the Bible is wrong. And if it's wrong about that, then the whole ball of yarn unravels." ~ Crewman
Beating Back the Stupid
You go, girl.
An Open Letter to Christians
Dear Christians,
No disrespect, but…
How could you possibly believe in Christianity?
Forget about the woman from a rib, the walking-talking snake, the burning bush, the man trapped in a whale, Noah's Ark, and the tower of Babel. I get that not everyone believes that. After all, that is obviously ridiculous. But what about the virgin birth, water to wine, zombies, resurrections, ancient prophecies, and eternal paradise and/or torture? Are those things any less ridiculous?
I mean, what kind of God needs this kind of elaborate scheme to "save" humanity. Do you really believe God sent his holy sperm – I mean spirit – to impregnate a virgin, wait 33 years and then allow his only "begotten" son (whatever that means) to be tortured and die for three days so that he could resurrect him and then demand through the words of flawed humans over the course of 66 poorly written books that people worship him or be tortured for all eternity? What is God's obsession with blood all about?
Think about it for a minute. If I told you that story you would laugh your ass off and send me to a mental institute. Look, I get that our culture reinforces your belief and that you were taught this stuff all your life from before you could walk and talk, but you were also taught about Santa Claus and now we can all admit that is just a make-believe story. I mean flying reindeer, right? Only a five-year-old would buy that shit — but a virgin woman popping out the son of God? Totally legit.
I'm not talking about belief in a god in general here. I get why someone might find the concept of some vague higher power alluring despite the complete lack of evidence, but when we are talking about the specific beliefs and claims of Christianity, we have to take a moment and really think about just how ridiculous those beliefs are.
Can we all just admit that the Bible is fiction and move on with our lives?
I mean, how is it that we are entertaining a serious debate about whether there was a historical magic man/deity? We might as well be debating the historicity of Hercules or Darth Vader.
I'm not angry at you or your imaginary deity; I'm just confused and maybe even a little frustrated. Just imagine one day waking up in a world where everyone worshiped Voldemort and quoted the Harry Potter books as if they were historical and inerrant. One might point out that they are obviously fictional books written by J.K. Rawling, but believers would be quick to claim that she wrote them while under Harry Potter's spell and that these books were absolutely true. The Ministry of Magic just made her think that she was writing fiction in order to hide the world of magic from Muggles. Whatever criticism, plot hole, argument, or point against the "Truth" of the Harry Potter books one come up with, the believers will have some sort of rationalization for them.
If you met one person who believed that, you could easily dismiss them as crazy but when millions or billions of people believe it, then what? Does it make it any less crazy? I don't think it does.
This is the case with Christianity. It is a crazy belief system that simply does not match up with the evidence we see every day. If the God of the Bible existed, he wouldn't need you to tell everyone about him. He could do his own damn dirty work. There would be no need for threats of eternal Hell or promises of eternal paradise. God wouldn't need to sacrifice his own son or anyone else. If God wanted people "saved" from himself, then poof… done. There would be no need to shed holy blood or for any elaborate schemes.
There would be no hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, or diseases. And if they did exist, they would only affect those God wanted to punish. We certainly wouldn't see believers and non-believers affected at exactly the same rate. Please face reality, your religion isn't true, the Bible is fiction, and God is imaginary. Then we can move past all this ancient superstition and start working toward making a brighter future for everyone. Just think about it. Thanks.
A New Word for Our Lexicon
As If He Had a Snowball's Chance in Hell to Begin With…
Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee made a statement on Facebook Friday addressing the revelations that eldest son Josh Duggar admitted to sexually molesting "girls," presumably his own sisters, as a teenager.
The former Arkansas governor largely defended the actions of the family since the abuse and said he wanted to "affirm" support for the family. "Josh's actions when he was an underage teen are as he described them himself, 'inexcusable,' but that doesn't mean 'unforgivable,'" Huckabee's statement said. The Duggar family endorsed former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum in the 2012 election, but have backed Huckabee for the Republican presidential nomination this time around.
Huckabee continued, "No purpose whatsoever is served by those who are now trying to discredit Josh or his family by sensationalizing the story. Good people make mistakes and do regrettable and even disgusting things. The reason that the law protects disclosure of many actions on the part of a minor is that the society has traditionally understood something that today's blood-thirsty media does not understand—that being a minor means that one's judgement is not mature."
(more)
UPDATE: Absolutely Fucking Unbelievable. And the judge was appointed by Huckabee.
Let's Play a Game…
Fundamentalism Summed Up in One Sentence
"My supreme omnipotent being is a hormonal teenager with shitty aim and a murder boner and you all need to watch out or else!"