One Year

It’s been one year since my retirement, and unexpected health issues notwithstanding, it’s been what I’d hoped for. I don’t miss working at all. Dreams of sleeping in every morning were quickly forgotten since Ben still has to be up and out of here by 7 am. I do occasionally go back to bed after he’s left for the day, but it’s been rare. It’s far more common for me to lay down in the afternoon for a couple hour nap—assuming the dogs let me.

The mere thought of going back to work gives me a case of the icks.

Most surprising since I had what I thought were good relationships with my immediate supervisor and colleagues is the absolute indifference and radio silence I’ve gotten from them when I have reached out. I mean, I considered them friends—work friends, yes, but still friends. I called to wish my old sup happy birthday last spring and it was almost as if he couldn’t be bothered. I reached out to another colleague prior to my surgery last September and he wished me well, in the most dispassionate, disconnected tone I’ve ever heard. I haven’t bothered following up with either of them, and of course, no one has reached out to me. So fuck ’em.

I have friends from previous employment who have stayed with me over the years, most notably my friend Cindy, whom I met while working at Phoenix Baptist hospital those many years ago. We chat every few days and—at least prior to my swallowing issues—used to get together every other month or so to share Mexican food. I’m her tech go-to, and she’s my medical go-to.

My days have settled back into a semi-routine. Not having one was the most difficult thing I faced. Yes, the world is my oyster as they say, but I still like some regularity.

After I pull myself out of bed, “eat,” and get ready, every other day (because a large iced latte will last me two days) I run out with the doggos for caffeine and pup cups and then spend the rest of the morning in my “office,” online, either working on this here blog thingie, or subjecting myself to Reddit, Tumblr, Instagram, and the news from various sources,

Sometimes I run downtown to the library and see if there’s anything in their CD collection I might want to hear. Back in the day, it was how I substantially expanded my musical tastes. I occasionally will burn a few Minidiscs when I get home, or make labels for ones I’ve already recorded.

After “lunch,” I generally retire to the living room and get some serious cuddle time with the doggos while watching YouTube or Netflix or whatever catches my attention.

Then there’s the infrequent afternoon naps…

Every week I have two PT appointments, always back to back on the same day (although not necessarily on the same day of the week) which actually helps me keep track of what fucking day of the week it is. (An ability that apparently atrophies when you’re not always counting down the days until Friday.)

My one goal—originally manufactured to answer the question I was often asked prior to retiring, “What are you going to do?” (because apparently you are expected to be doing something after retirement and “taking each day as it comes” was an unacceptable answer) was to get out and do more photography. I even bought new batteries for my DSLR, hoping to dust it off and put it to use. But practically that would involve getting out to begin with and with everything going on in the world, I have no desire to be out and about.

A lot of people will say this is boring, and I completely understand. But for me, it’s perfect, and what I was looking forward to for many years prior to retiring.

 

Mission Accomplished

I’m surprised how quickly I got that task done.

One of the few things I had planned for post-retirement was de-fuckifying my office closet. Over the past two years it became a catch-all for anything I didn’t want to deal with, and among the things I didn’t want to deal with were the two Kenwood receivers I once waxed poetic over and the Yamaha amp and CD player that were rotated out of my audio setup.

They were already boxed up and ready to eBay, but I kept putting it off for a variety of reasons: they needed to be unboxed and photographed, the auctions needed to be created, yada, yada, yada. It was always some excuse.

So jumping the gun a bit, about six weeks ago I decided to get the process started, and one weekend I removed them from the closet, unboxed them, and photographed everything. The next day I posted it all on eBay.

One receiver sold within 72 hours. The second followed a few days later. I was kind of surprised, actually. I also offloaded a spare turntable dustcover almost immediately. The CD player went about two weeks ago, and today, the Yamaha amp finally sold. Everything was at a slight loss from what I’d hoped to get, but I didn’t do this to make money; it was simply to get the stuff out of here and into the hands of someone else who would appreciate them as much as I have.

Next up on the auction block is the Yamaha T-1 tuner I got a little over a year ago. It’s an absolutely stellar tuner; an item I lusted after when I was a teenager, haunting the showrooms of Jerry’s Audio, but it’s been sitting virtually unused all this time. I was happy to finally get one, but I haven’t used it more than couple dozen times since purchasing it and for all intents it was just gathering dust. And my anal retentive self also didn’t appreciate the fact that the black anodized finish didn’t match the the Yamaha amp I’d paired it with (the tuner and amp series were about half a decade apart, so it’s understandable stuff changed) so it was pretty easy to let it go. It also helps that I just picked up one of the tuners that came out at the same time as the amp for a song. I guess no one is really listening to radio any more, but I do want to have one on hand in the case of some emergency.

Some Observations On Retirement After A Week Or So…

For the first week, it just felt like I was on vacation. I pretty much expected no obligations and the freedom to do anything I wanted. As I enter the second week, I think it’s finally hitting home that I have no more schedule; no more sense of urgency at having to be somewhere or to do anything beyond what I choose. It’s liberating and frankly a bit disorienting at the same time.

Since I’ve worked from home to varying degrees since COVID, the days I spend at home are still a little weird. I have to remind myself that I can take as long as I want to eat lunch and not worry about having to constantly appear online to anyone—because while I got my work done, I still goofed off a lot when I was WFH. I mean—let’s be honest—unless you’re constantly being monitored, who doesn’t?

As I type this, I’m sitting in Case Study, enjoying my iced (because hello! homogay here!) coffee on a weekday; a luxury previously unavailable to me unless it was a holiday or I’d taken a mental health break from work. It’s nice. (Though it’s a tad more expensive than Starbucks, I’m doing everything I can to support local businesses versus contributing to an oligarch’s thirty-second yacht.)

Last Sunday was also a big change; there was none of the usual evening I-have-to-go-back-to-work-tomorrow disgust that has plagued me since Cuntula came on board two years ago. (While I bitched about it, I actually used to enjoy—or at least not dread—going to work prior to her arrival.)

So what’s next? I have no idea. As I told everyone who asked (and believe me, everyone did), I’ll just take it a day at the time and see where it leads.

 

FINALLY!

I honestly never thought I’d live long enough to see retirement. Back in the 90s at the height of the plague years—when so many of the men I knew and loved were dropping like flies and I should have been planning for this day—I didn’t. I didn’t think I’d live this long, and I cashed out every 401K I had whenever I left a position thinking that I’d rather have the money then instead of some far off—possibly never to come—day.

And despite all odds, here we are. With my very modest pension from the city (yes, the truth can now be told; I’ve worked I.T. for the City of Phoenix Streets Department for the past five years) and Social Security (assuming it survives 45’s administration) I’ll be fine. No new cars or other extravagant purchases, but all the usual bills are covered with enough padding to allow for inflation and even a little bit of fun money left over to feed my music addiction.

I had a going-away lunch with my original team members a couple days ago. I specifically requested that we do it on the down-low so Cuntula (my current boss) didn’t get wind of it.

A few weeks ago she asked what I wanted to do for my retirement celebration. Did I want a department lunch, happy hour, dinner?

I told her I wanted nothing. I wanted my departure to be just another day. I had to reiterate this several times before she finally walked off saying, “I don’t take no for an answer.”

See how she got her nickname?

Anyhow, I stewed on this overnight and emailed her (copying HR for good measure) repeathing that I wanted NOTHING done for my retirement and asking her to please respect my wishes. (Respect is a word she struggles with.)

She replied several hours later saying that whatever I wanted (or in this case didn’t) was fine.

Lunch with the guys was great. Heard a lot of gossip I had been unaware of, and found out just how much my old boss loathes Cuntula. (I am not alone, obviously.) It was a bittersweet gathering. These guys have been my family away from home for the past five years, and I can say confidently my former boss especially was the best supervisor I’ve had since I moved back from San Francisco twenty years ago. I’m going to miss them all, but as one of my colleagues stated, “You have our phone numbers. If you ever need anything we’re here for you.”  I’ve had precious few work friendships survive post separation over the years to the point that we almost forgot how we met, so we shall see how these fare in that respect.

So what’s next? (The question I have gotten the most over the past few days.) I have absolutely no fucking idea. (See: I never thought I’d live this long, above.) I have my hobbies. I have this here blog thingie. There’s a big, cuddly labradoodle in our lives who loves belly rubs on the couch and misses his other daddy mightily when he’s gone during the day, so I think I’ll manage.

And then there’s all the little shit that needs to still be done around the house.