Category: Retro Realness

Okay I know it’s fake…simply because “Folk’s.”

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“Whadda ya say we skip this shit and go straight to the heroin!”

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“Who just sucked the boss’s big fat cock and didn’t spill a drop of semen on his tie? THIS GUY!”

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The last thing Tina saw before her young life ended was the arrival of the Terminator from the future.

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“You don’t need to put on that gay porn soundtrack shit, Jeff. We’ll tag-team raw dog you right now without it.”

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“I don’t know what any of this shit is or what it does, but since I’m a MAN I’ll just stand here, look at it and nod approvingly.”

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“Thanks Dave, but I’m really not interested. I know your dick isn’t as big as that nozzle. All the girls have said so.”

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“Jules wins one competition and she’s acting like she’s America’s next drag superst….WAIT! How the fuck did she get that car onto the runway?!?”

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“Wait, wait! This is right before the scene of him on his knees in the locker room as the team’s new Bukakke Boy.”

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“I told you those horse tranquilizers were a good investment.”

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“I don’t know how Jules does it. She’s been in the bottom two for the past four weeks and yet she always manages to pull it out with those tired old splits at the last minute.”

“Really? I heard she never pulls it out. Oh. You mean the competition.”

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Paul’s cock twitched and his butthole involuntarily clenched a bit when he spotted the huge, still-damp cum stain and got a whiff of the anonymous man-scent coming off yet another pair of underwear he’d stolen from the gym locker room. It was all he could do not to smash his face in the crotch of those tighty-whities right then and there and inhale deeply,

“Later,” he told himself. “Later.”

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“You can root for her all you want, Mary. Jules is still going home with that lipsync tonight.”

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John was aghast as he realized yet another unsuspecting phone booth was about to be abducted by aliens and subjected to unimaginable horrors…

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“Hold on a sec, Frank. I’ve gotta go pay off that damn paperboy…again.”

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“With her atrocious performance on the maxi-challenge and that runway look, Jules is definitely going to be lipsyncing for her life.”

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“I am tripping balls right now!”

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“Here…I’ll trade you this for the car! PLEASE!?!”

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“Oh Christ…who invited the Hendersons? They’re such assholes…”

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“Okay, Dirk, just look busy. Look like you’re working, just in case. Just lightly tap the keys. Don’t press anything, don’t flip any switches. Just be cool, Dirk. You’ve got this. Morgan will be in soon and she won’t let you blow anything up.”

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