Category: Teh St00pid, it Burns

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Ooh! I Finally Got One!

(I've been wondering when one of these would show up in my email!)

Hello,

You are in big trouble. However, don't panic right away. Listen to me first, because  there is always a way out.

You are now on the radar of an international group of hackers,
and such things never end well for anyone. I'm sure you've heard of Anonymous. Well, compared to us, they are a bunch of schoolboys. We are a worldwide network of several thousand professionals, each with their own role.

Someone hacks corporate and government networks, someone
cooperates with intelligence agencies on the most delicate tasks,
and someone (including me) deals with people like you to maintain the infrastructure of our group. "What kind of people like me?" – that is the question you are probably asking yourself now.

The answer is simple: people who like to watch highly controversial and, shall we say,unconventional pornography on the internet that most normal people would consider perverted. But not you!

In order to leave you without any doubts, I'll explain how I found it out. Two months ago, my colleagues and I installed spyware software on your computer and then gained access to all of your devices, including your phone. It was easy – one of those many pop-ups on porn sites was our work.

I think you already understand that we would not write to an ordinary man who watches "vanilla" and even hardcore porn – there is nothing special about that. But the things you're watching are beyond good and evil. So after accessing your phone and computer cameras, we recorded you masturbating to extremely controversial videos. There is a close-up footage of you and a little square on the right with the videos you're pleasing yourself. However, as I said earlier, there is always a way out, because even the most degraded sinner deserves leniency. You are lucky today because I am not a sadist who enjoys other people's suffering. Only money matters to me.

Here is your salvation: you must transfer $1300 in Bitcoin to this BTC cryptocurrency wallet: bc1qyzt9nrwtas821237se4nfjq8jv

You have exactly 48 hours to make the payment, so think less, and  do more. As soon as I receive confirmation of the transaction, I will  delete all compromising content and permanently disable our computer worm. Believe me, I always abide by gentleman's agreements. Even with people who are hardly gentlemen. Because it's nothing personal, just business.

If I do not receive a payment, I will send all videos of you to every person in your contact list, messengers and email. Relatives, loved ones, colleagues, friends-everyone you've ever been in contact with will receive them. You understand perfectly well that you will never be able to wash this stain on your reputation. Everyone will remember you as sick as fuck. Your life will be completely ruined, and, most likely, only a tightened noose around your neck will be able to save the day.

If you haven't dealt with crypto before, I suppose it won't be difficult for you to figure it all out. Simply type in the "crypto exchange" into the search bar and pay with a credit card. Besides, based on your browser history, you are a savvy user. When you want to, you can dig into the darkest depths of the Internet, so I'm sure you will be able to find out what is what.

Here is what my colleagues and I should warn you against: …Do not reply to this email. Do you really think we are so stupid to be tracked by an email address? This is a temporary disposable email. As soon as I clicked "Send", it was gone for good. …Forget about law-enforcement authorities. As soon as I see that you are trying to contact them, the compromising material will be published. Remember, I have access to all your devices, and I can even track your movements. …Do not reset your devices to factory settings and do not try to get rid of your devices. It won't help in any way. Look above – my All-seeing eye is watching all your actions. It is easy to hunt you down.

I am sorry that we met in such circumstances. Probably, everything could be different if you had been more careful about what you are doing on the Internet. Watch yourself from now on, because even such things that you previously considered insignificant can destroy your life in the future like a butterfly effect. I hope this is goodbye forever. However, it depends on you.

There are so many things I'd love to respond with, but I won't because I don't need to confirm that these assholes have a working email address. But seriously…my response? Gurl, have you seen my blog?

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And While We're On the Subject of Batshit Crazy…

Again, from Comic Sans:

MAGA 'Prophet' Warns Of Technologically Advanced 'Mermaids And Water People' In Bonkers Speech

Amanda Grace suggested 'hand to hand combat' with these supposed 'mermaids' who are spreading 'wickedness' at a far-right ReAwaken America event at Trump's Doral Hotel in Miami.

In a bizarre and bewildering display of rhetoric, a speaker at a right-wing conference hosted by one of Trump's properties embarked on an unhinged rant, delving into the realm of highly technological mermaids and water people spreading "wickedness" throughout society.

The peculiar diatribe was delivered by self-proclaimed "Prophet" Amanda Grace during the ReAwaken America event, which attracted a gathering of American far-right and Christian nationalist attendees at the Trump National Doral Hotel in Miami.

You can hear what she said in the video below.

Grace said:

"I have never seen more images of mermaids and water people in my life. That's a division in the kingdom of darkness and they're highly technologically advanced."

"And we have to understand what we're dealing with. And we have to understand the rules of engagement in spiritual warfare. And we are meant for hand-to-hand combat."

"Darkness has completely eclipsed the White House of this nation."

Predictably, the outlandish nature of Grace's remarks triggered a flurry of confusion, mockery, and the proliferation of memes across various online platforms.

The combination of the highly unusual subject matter, coupled with the passionate delivery, contributed to the audience's bewilderment and subsequent online ridicule.

 

Grace is far from the only self-proclaimed religious "prophet" to align themselves with the MAGA movement.

Last year, author and commentator Rachel Hamm—who at the time was vying to become California's next Secretary of State—claimed that her decision to run for office was predicated on her son's miraculous experience meeting Jesus Christ in a closet with a scroll.

Similarly, Julie Green—who runs the Evangelical Julie Green Ministries—has claimed more than once that God will "bring back" former President Donald Trump to the White House without the need for an actual election.

As of this writing, Green's prediction has yet to come to pass.

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OMG…

This whole Tiktok hearing in Congress reinforces my belief in that we need an entry requirement for politics (just like any company out there) to ensure better and smarter politicians lead the country. Basic knowledge of the internet and technology in general should be a requirement. Some of the questions during the hearing were so elementary and mind-numbingly stupid.

 

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Wut?!

Woman sitting behind me and to my left just announced to her companion, "I've found the one true god!"

And which god exactly would that be, darling? I know exactly who you were referring to, but in the interest of fairness, is it Mithra? Horus? Zeus? Osiris? Enril? Shiva? Vishnu? Aphrodite? Yahweh? Quetzalcoatl? Apollo? Bixia? I'm sure I've overlooked a few thousand.

I'm torn between turning to her and asking, "Wut?!" and "How special for you!"

But I chose instead to ignore her, put in my headphones, and crank The Purple Zone until my ears bled.

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Teh St00pid, It Burns

From Second Nexus:

GOP Senator Proves She Has No Idea What the Constitution Says With Mind-Numbing 'Abortions' Tweet

Throughout the Senate Judiciary Committee's hearings this week to consider Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson's historic nomination to the Supreme Court of the United States, far-right Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee has interrogated Jackson with some of the hearings' most incendiary questions.

On the first day of hearings, Blackburn suggested Blackburn's "personal hidden agenda" was to embed critical race theory into the American legal system. On the second day, Blackburn demanded Jackson define the word "woman" and suggested she was soft on child pornographers. All the while, the Senator heaped praise on Jackson's family and composure.

On Twitter, Blackburn's opposition to Jackson's appointment was even less restrained. The Senator's timeline has offered a steady stream of quips decrying Jackson's near-inevitable appointment to the Supreme Court.

One such criticism attempted to discredit the idea that Americans have a right to an abortion, or rather, a right not to bear children.

Blackburn erroneously cited the Constitution.

Blackburn insisted to her followers that "The Constitution grants us rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness — not abortions."

There's just one problem: the famous phrase "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" isn't in the Constitution—the document that forms the basis of government in the United States and the document that created Blackburn's very position. Those words are from the Declaration of Independence, the letter wherein the 13 original colonies unanimously asserted their rationale for breaking from Britain, citing its disregard for "self-evident" truths that governments must recognize to warrant the consent of the governed.

For many Americans, it's been a long time since a civics or American history class. But for a Senator on the Senate Judiciary Committee tasked with considering the nomination of a historic Supreme Court appointment?

Social media users thought Blackburn should've known better, and they were quick to point out the error.

But it wasn't just the conflation of documents that sparked reactions, it was the entire premise of Blackburn's argument.

Today marks the final day of Judge Jackson's confirmation hearings, after which the Senate Judiciary Committee is expected to advance her nomination to the Senate floor.

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After Slogging Through Too Many Seasons of Supernatural and Criminal Minds These Past Few Months……

I have issues.

  • WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD? Do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! Why don't they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something OMFG!
  • WHILE WE'RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT'S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY FOR A REASON. Get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. "But i look stupid!" LALALALA. But we'll avoid that stupidly dramatic moment when you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
  • STOP YANKING IV LINES OUT OF YOUR ARMS THE MINUTE YOU WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL! Do you want to fucking bleed to death?!
  • That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it?
  • There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it!
  • Yes, Mr. Action Hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
  • And oh hey, you there…sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They're called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you're putting them all over the fucking place.
  • If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don't FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH OF THE THING! JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE, OR BETTER YET, RUN 90 DEGREES TO THE THING!
  • And for God's sake, PUT PRESSURE ON THAT WOUND. DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND IT BLEED OUT. I'm talking to you, TV cops.
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I Hate to Say, "I Told You So, But…"

Arizona Reports Highest Single-Day Rise in Coronavirus Cases – State Experts Blame Ending Lockdown

Arizona reported its highest single-day rise in new confirmed cases of the novel coronavirus as hospitalizations have also risen, with health experts suggesting the end of lockdown measures has likely led to the increase.

"What we see in the data is pretty predictable," Will Humble, who served as the director of Arizona's Department of Health Services from 2009 to 2015, told KSAZ-TV Fox 10 Phoenix. Humble pointed out that the southwestern state's stay-at-home order ended just over two weeks ago.

"I'd expect to continue to see an increase in cases compared to where we were in the middle of May, because we are not using the same intervention, the-stay-at-home order, the distancing, and people are getting back to work," he said.

On Tuesday, the state reported 1,127 new infections of the novel virus, the highest number reported in a single day since the outbreak began, according to the dashboard updated by the Arizona Department of Health Services. The state also reached a new record of more than 1,000 hospitalizations due to COVID-19 on Monday, suggesting the state is seeing an increase in more serious infections.

Newsweek reached out to the office of Arizona Governor Doug Ducey, a Republican, and the Arizona Department of Health Services for comment, but they had not responded by the time of publication.

Local officials in Arizona's Maricopa County, which has been the hardest hit by the pandemic, suggested in a Tuesday statement that the increase in cases was beyond what would be expected due to an increase in testing, which also would detect asymptomatic and mild cases of the novel coronavirus.

"The total number of positive COVID-19 cases in Maricopa County grew by 615 from yesterday's report. This refers to how many were reported to Public Health yesterday, not how many cases there were in the last 24 hours. We are seeing some indicators that cases in Maricopa County are starting to rise beyond the increase from additional testing," the statement explained.

Overall, Arizona has reported 21,250 infections. The state has conducted more than 330,000 tests for the novel virus and 941 people have died. On Tuesday, the state reported 24 new deaths.

While all 50 states have eased lockdown measures significantly over the past couple weeks, health experts have urged the public to continue following social distancing guidelines and wear masks in public. They have warned that a second wave, or spike, in new infections could take place if Americans do not take adequate precautions.

"We've learned a lot about this virus, but we now need to translate that learning into real change behavior that stays with us so we can continue to drive down the number of cases," Dr. Deborah Birx, the coordinator of the White House coronavirus task force, said in a May 24 interview with ABC's This Week. "This only works if we all follow the guidelines and protect one another," she cautioned.

Nationwide, the U.S. has seen more than 1.8 million infections and more than 106,000 deaths due to the novel virus, according to a tracker maintained by The New York Times. The number of new daily cases reported has dropped from the peak of more than 36,000 reported on April 24, to 20,74 new cases reported on Tuesday. The number of new daily deaths has also declined, with just over 1,000 reported on Tuesday, a significant decrease from a peak of 2,752 reported on April 15.

Source.

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"A Referral Was Returned From The Server"

As much as I bitch and complain about the Apple OS, let's not forget that I have to support their chief rival's abortion in the corporate environment—and Windows is still far. and. away. a more fucked up system than macOS or OS X or whatever the hell the brain trust in Cupertino wants to call it these days could ever be.

The latest bit of banging-my-head-against-the-wall comes from that delightful little error message above. It popped up today while I was trying to install a driver for a standalone thermal printer. First off who was the genius that wrote it? Somewhere, at some point in time, some asshole programmer must have thought, "Let's write the most obscure error message possible."

For those of you who have the displeasure of encountering this bit of fuckery on a Windows 10 box running in a corporate (domain) environment, the solution is actually rather simple, but annoying as hell. Trying to run the offending installer as a local admin didn't work. Trying to run it with administrator rights didn't work. Disabling UAC (we're getting warmer, but still no cigar) was a suggested solution via the Google, but didn't solve the problem either. What I ultimately discovered that it was some godforsaken issue with something in the Domain Group Policy and UAC. Simply disabling UAC on the local machine won't fix the problem; and since I didn't have rights to do anything with the the Domain's Group Policy, the only way to make it work is to remove the device from the domain entirely in order for the software to install.

I now have this documented at work since apparently none of my coworkers have ever encountered it—with the current thorn-in-my-side (who already views and treats me as just an ignorant imaging tech and not a full-fledged desktop tech with more years of experience than she's been alive) looking at me like an escapee from the Short Bus when I told her I had to remove the machine from the domain in order to install a printer driver.

I'm glad it's Friday…

 

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Like Cockroaches

Dear Out-of-State Indian Recruiters: Lest I be labeled racist for what I'm about to say, I want to make it clear that I do not work with any out-of-state employment agencies, not just yours. It has been my experience that it is a total waste of my time and resources when I can't go into a local office and actually meet the person representing me. I'm singling you out on this because—unlike all the other out-of-state agencies that have contacted me and have honored my requests to be ignored, you JUST. DON'T. GET. IT.

If I do not return your first, second, third or fourth call, that means I AM NOT INTERESTED in doing business with you. Maybe it's a cultural thing and you believe that pestering candidates will make them more inclined to want to work with you; I don't know. But generally when someone ignores your repeated phone calls and identical spam-like emails, any rational person would realize whoever you're trying to contact JUST ISN'T INTO YOU and you should STOP.

Cynet, CTI, Reveille, Fountain, K-Tec, VTech, Yochana, and especially Collabra, I'm talking to YOU.

I've tried responding with polite emails. I've tried responding with rude emails (and actually received one response telling me that I should go find Jesus—who I guess has wandered off again), yet nothing makes a difference save disabling my online job profiles—something I can't do while looking for work.

"Respond with 'REMOVE' in the subject to be taken out of our system." Yeah. Tried that. I'm starting to think it's just a confirmation that your stupid fucking email got through.

"Click here to be removed from our system." Yeah, tried that too. Again, seems to just be a confirmation for you of a live email addy.

Right now I have 151 blocked numbers on my phone for you jokers. (Four were added just in the time it's taken me to write this post.) I'm starting to wonder what the maximum number assigned to any one contact can actually be, since I've got to be getting close to that limit. I got smart a couple months ago and started noting (when you left messages that I could actually understand or were accompanied by emails) the company attached to the numbers instead of just filing them under "main," and it's been enlightening. No matter how many numbers for any of your companies are blocked, new ones constantly spring up—just like cockroaches.

It's bad enough that you simply do a word search instead of actually reading profiles before contacting people, but the worst offenders are those of you who send "as discussed" email job listings for NYC, or South Florida or East Bumfuck. Those are the ones that will get the rudest response from me. "WHEN, EXACTLY, WAS THIS DISCUSSED AND WHERE ON ANY OF MY FUCKING ONLINE PROFILES DOES IT SAY WILLING TO RELOCATE? DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN!" (Usually in 24 point type.)

Maybe I should just start responding with "खुद मैथुन जाओ." Will that work?