Category: Teh St00pid, it Burns

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Fucking Mayans

Just a small sampling of some of the bullshit I ran across online today:

◆ A conservative sports group is warning that Bruce Jenner's transition to a woman will "embolden" athletes to "defy Biblical standards".

◆ John McCain is "still outraged" by last week's Henry Kissinger protesters at a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing.

◆ Val Kilmer may forgo treating a tumor in his throat because of his Christian Scientist religion.

◆ Hawaii state Rep. Bob McDermont is still trying desperately to ban same-sex marriage in the Aloha State.

◆ Senator Rand Paul says Vaccinations Can Lead to "Profound Mental Disorders."

◆ Harlem Hate Pastor to hold march against "Sodomite Cannibals."

◆ Lawmaker proposes bill to keep police body cam footage private.

◆ And lastly, to be filed under: what a surprise.

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Say Hello to the Face of Hate Stupidity

From Towleroad:

Boise, Idaho-area couple Justin and Melanie Sease are driving around in a car painted with phrases like "HOMOSEXUALITY is a sin & a abomination", "Just Say NO to Gay Marriage", and "GOD'S NOT DEAD". They say they're speaking out for others who are afraid to do the same in light of the recent arrival of marriage equality in the state, and whine to KBOI that they're being ridiculed for it:

2truck"We've had a few homosexual extremists who cuss us out and get very angry with us and threaten us."

Why are they on a crusade?

Says Justin, who claims he's "taking a stand for the Heavenly Father":

"We can never accept public homosexuality. It's wrong, and it's wrong in God's eyes first. He's very clear in the Bible. The Bible says that when homosexuality is publicly accepted, basically it spreads like a cancer….This is kind our little way of protesting the homosexual extremist movement…"

Said Melanie:

"If nobody else is going to do it, why not start doing it. Hopefully, other people will join us and follow us and do what we're doing.Most everyone who has seen our vehicles gives us a thumbs up, waves, smiles, or honks."

Watch, here…

I have a question for these "Christians:" why is it that their supposedly omniscient, all-powerful daddy-in-the-sky is so utterly and completely incapable of enforcing his supposed edicts by himself? Why does he always have to call upon the assistance of these yahoos who have barely three brain cells between them to do his bidding? In the old days this sky-fairy would supposedly have to do little more than sneeze and fire and brimstone would be raining down upon the unwashed, unworthy heathen before you could say, "Gesundheit!"

The only possible explanations I see are…

◆ Sky Daddy is—despite their pronouncements to the contrary—in fact, dead.

◆ Sky Daddy doesn't exist—and never has.

◆ Sky Daddy is alive and well and is either perfectly okay with gay marriage—or has in fact moved on to watching over much more interesting creatures than Homo sapiens.

…none of which fit too well into this couple's narrow, self-centered, bigoted view of the universe.

Seriously…can you imagine spending eternity with these people?

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I Guess We're Not Moving Back to Phoenix After All

So Arizona has decided to boldly go where even batshit-crazy Kansas (in a surprising display of self-restraint) feared to tread. Onward Christian soldiers:

PHOENIX — State senators voted Wednesday to let businesses refuse to serve gays based on owners' "sincerely held" religious beliefs.

The 17-13 vote along party lines, with Republicans in the majority, came after supporters defeated an attempt to extend existing employment laws that bar discrimination based on religion and race to also include sexual orientation. Sen. Steve Yarbrough, R-Chandler, said that's a separate issue from what he is trying to do.

But Sen. Steve Gallardo, D-Phoenix, said that's precisely the issue.

"The bill opens the door for discrimination against gays and lesbians," he said.

Yarbrough, however, said foes of SB 1062 are twisting what his legislation says.

"This bill is not about discrimination," he said. "It's about preventing discrimination against people who are clearly living out their faith."

A similar measure is awaiting a vote in the House, probably later today.

Arizona already has laws which protect individuals and businesses from any state action which substantially interferes with their right to exercise their religion. This bill extends that protection to cover what essentially are private transactions.

The push follows a decision by the New Mexico Supreme Court which said a gay couple could sue a photographer who refused on religious grounds to take pictures of their nuptials. Yarbrough's legislation would preclude such a ruling here.

But Gallardo said this legislation makes one person's religious freedom an attack on others.

"We all have the right to our religious beliefs," he said.

"But I do not agree that we have the right to discriminate because of our religious beliefs," Gallardo continued. "I do not believe we have to throw our religious beliefs to others that don't share our same beliefs."

Sen. Lynne Pancrazi, D-Yuma, said that, issues of discrimination aside, the legislation is bad for business. She feared Arizona state would face the same boycotts it did when former Gov. Evan Mecham rescinded a state holiday honoring slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. in the 1980s and after Arizona enacted SB 1070 in 2010, a measure aimed at dealing with illegal immigration which some saw as an attack on Hispanics.

But Yarbrough said foes are missing the point of why the Founding Fathers crafted religious protections in the First Amendment.

"One's faith, at least in America, extended to the workplace, to the public square and to all aspects of our lives," he said. And Yarbrough said SB 1062 is "aimed at preventing the rising attempts at discriminating against folks because they are sincere and serious about the free exercise of their religious faith."

Sen. Kelli Ward, R-Lake Havasu, agreed.

"A person does not lose their First Amendment freedoms when they start a business," she said. "In America, people are free to live and work according to their faith."

Foes, however, sought to concentrate on what they said would be more concrete effects of such a law.

Sen. Robert Meza, D-Phoenix, said the measure would allow a hotel operator who believes Mormonism is a cult to refuse to provide rooms to a family who walked in wearing Brigham Young T-shirts, indicating their religion.

Yarbrough did not specifically dispute that. But he said the question of whether such an action would be allowed would be based on whether the government has a "compelling interest" in forbidding such discrimination and whether any laws were the least restrictive necessary.

Sen. Steve Farley, D-Tucson, wondered openly whether SB 1062 would provide new license for people like Warren Jeffs, head of the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints, to act against those who refuse to follow his edicts.

And Sen. Ed Ableser, D-Tempe, said the wording of the measure even would allow those who worship Satan to use their beliefs as a legal shield.

Yarbrough, however, said the First Amendment is broadly crafted for a reason.

"I understand that the freedom of religion can be inconvenient," he said. "But this is what our Constitution contemplates."

Unable to block the measure, Gallardo tried what he called a notice requirement for those businesses that want to assert their religious freedom to refuse to serve gays.

"If there is an organization or a business out there that wants to use the defense of religious freedom, I believe that consumers have a right to know," he said. Yarbrough, however, got the GOP majority to reject the amendment.

Gallardo said opposition to consumer notice is no surprise. Any firm which openly advertises such discrimination would be boycotted and go out of business, he said.

I cannot wait to see the first lawsuit against a Muslim (or any other non-"Christian") establishment who refuses service to these hateful, bigoted assholes. Then we'll see how long it lasts.

"Oh, but we meant the law only to apply to Christians!"

This is the problem with these so-called "people of faith." They can't see beyond the very limited boundaries of their own particular brand of invisible-friend-in-the-sky. They obviously don't realize how easily their laws can be turned against them. "But, but, but…!"

Fine. If you want to attach your little Jesus fish to your business, go right ahead. At this point all it's doing is showing the world what a hateful fuck you are. So don't be surprised when I (and I dare say, the vast majority of Americans who don't ascribe to your brand of batshittery) refuse to patronize your business and you're forced to close. Shut up and play the role of good Christian martyr like you're supposed to.

And frankly, any state that passes these sort of bullshit laws needs to be boycotted as well.

I mean seriously. This is the twenty-first century, goddamnit. We're supposed to be going forward, not sliding back into the Middle Ages.

This planet needs an enema.

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Seeing an Anus Form Words No Longer Surprises Me

From marmel.com:

Joe Wurzelbacher, more commonly known as Joe the Plumber, wants Americans to "admit" they "want a white Republican president again."

"Wanting a white Republican president doesn't make you racist, it just makes you American," Wurzelbacher wrote on his website Oct. 10.

First, let's get this out of the way: If you're criteria for the next president be that he be white, it makes you a bigot. That's the definition of bigot. There's no wiggle room there. Own that.

But on to the rest…what public figure—and I use this term loosely referring to this clown—would say this?

I get that the skinheaded bigoted "sorta-plumber" who got famous for being sassy to the black guy has dialed his "black-smack" to eleven. It's loud out in the media, with a lot of bigots saying a lot of horrible things about the President from subtle dog whistles about "takers" to George Will comparing Obamacare to "The Fugitive Slave Act."

It's a tough time to be a minor player hate-monger when the league is filled with established home run hitters. And for all of his "fame"—again, loosely put—Joe is really just a freak-show anomaly now. He's a car crash you can't take your eyes off of, like Michele Bachmann or Louie Gohmert. He's Snooki, really.

But here's the thing. We should be grateful for morons like Joe.

Unsubtle, blunt, dimwitted throwbacks that aren't savvy enough to mask their hate, he's like people at town halls that scream about Obama being a secret Muslim. Or part of Al Qaeda. Or that he's actually Osama Bin Laden (see "Truckers Ride For The Constitution").

You know bigotry still exists because he's not smart enough to hide it in code-words.

And in being that, he reveals that he is a big chunk of that unmoving GOP's 30%. You know that number that never changes? That always disapproves of everything the President and his wife does, even if it's as simple as "drink water?" or "eat healthy?"  Or cheered Zimmerman?

He's those guys in a ball cap. The only thing he's missing is the white robe.  And if he had that white robe, he'd be dumb enough to wear it to work.

The election in 2008 made it so the days of smiling racism over. The black President drove that 30% nuts.

After all… Fox News promised Obama would lose. Twice. The right wing media promised they could hurt him by repealing Obamacare with lie after lie after lie. They were told this man would be put in his place. And now, that 30% is so mad, it's like turrets syndrome or Mel Gibson getting pulled over drunk—the bigotry just explodes out in ways they can't control.

And it's part of what's destroying the GOP.  See, the shutdown sucks and is hurting a lot of people, and the polls are showing most people blame the Republicans in general and the Tea Party specifically.

The more people like "Joe the Plumber," or Mark Kessler, or Glenn Beck or the next loon pops up, the more people realize exactly what is fueling this five year "let's not work with Obama" that's been going on that has brought us to this shut down.

Not wanting to work with the black guy. Hanging an imaginary "Whites Only" sign on the office of the President or any seat of power in Washington, D.C.

So in a way, I'm grateful for this moron. He's defining the problem in a way that would make anybody with a brain, or a heart, or a single friend of diversity go "this is not what I want out of a mainstream political party."

It's hurtful, I'm sure, for many people of color to hear.

But It's also hurtful to people who wish they could pretend they weren't bigots, but by toleration of people like Joe show that they are.  With their facebook feeds, and N-word tweets, and racist memes.

And as ugly as it is to look at, it's good that we can see it.

Maybe some of those people can be shamed into the 21st century.  But at the very least, we know who they are and they can now be discounted as the cavemen (and women) they've always been.

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And Teh St00pid Continues

From Asshole of the Day:

The whining by Republicans about things that were closed during the shutdown has reached ridiculous levels. How hard is it to understand that making Obama shutdown the government would mean closing things? As I said before, YOU shut it down, Republicans, so all the closings are YOURS, not Obama's or anyone else's.

Well, especially not Obama's since no bill ever reached his desk to fund the government. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

But that hasn't stopped Republicans from phony grievances, such as Eric Cantor having all the doctors in the House show up in lab coats to discuss how Obama is refusing to let up to 300 kids with cancer into the NIH trials. This, while they shut the government down to stop Obamacare which would give MILLIONS OF KIDS access to healthcare, some of whom certainly have cancer. Yes, this really happened.

And then of course there was Rep. Randy Neugebauern arguing with an park ranger as though he didn't vote for the shutdown, which he did. And the best part is that Neugebauer gets paid during the shutdown, but the park ranger does not!

And then today in Arizona, state Rep. Brenda Barton posts on Facebook:

Someone is paying the National Park Service thugs overtime for their efforts to carry out the order of De Fuhrer… where are our Constitutional Sheriffs who can revoke the Park Service Rangers authority to arrest??? Do we have any Sheriffs with a pair?

Hitler! Thugs! Overtime! If you had NO KNOWLEDGE of what's going on, that would sound bad. Of course the government is shutdown, so how can you justify keeping open a park? How? And the rangers aren't getting overtime— they aren't even being paid! But don't let facts get in the way of your smear campaign, asshole!

Full story: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/arizona-lawmaker-rages-against-de-fuhrer-obama-in-angry-facebook-post

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I…I Just Can't.

I swear Teh St00pid is spreading like an unchecked cancer  across this country.

Last Friday I received an email from a recruiter:

The Desktop Support Analyst will be responsible for providing a high level of PC hardware/software support for our local and remote clients in a Windows/MAC environment and for assisting with major PC related projects (rollout of a new application, hardware/software upgrades, integrations, etc.)

We are the world's largest supplier of services, products, and solutions to industrial and commercial users of electronic components and enterprise computing solutions and growing by leaps and bounds!

 What you'll be doing:

▪   Providing PC hardware and software support for our local and remote clients.

▪   Diagnosis of PC problems via phone, remote control of desktops or desk-side visit.

▪   Provide support for Mobile Device Technology (Blackberry, iPhone, iPad, etc).

What you need:

▪   Extensive hands-on experience troubleshooting and installing PCs, peripherals and applications.

▪   Minimum of 3 years' experience supporting users via phone, remote control and desk side visits in a large multi-location corporate environment.

▪   Strong knowledge and experience with Windows 7, Windows XP, MS Outlook/Exchange, MS Office 2007

▪   Experience using remote-control software, software distribution tools (e.g. Symantec Altiris) and anti-virus & spyware tools..

▪   Experience upgrading PCs (memory, hard drive, data transfer, etc.)

▪   Maintain and update users PC asset information and experience supporting mobile device technology

▪   24×7 On-call technical support on a rotation basis and local travel when required (less than 10%)

Nice to have:

▪   5+ years supporting PC users in a multi-location corporate WAN environment with 3,000+ users.

▪   Microsoft or other technical certification or training.

▪   Bachelors degree in Computer Science, Information Technology or related discipline

▪   Experience with iOS and MacBooks

▪   Experience with encryption software such as McAfee Endpoint Encryption

What's in it for you:

▪   Competitive salary and full benefits.
- Work with one of the top-ranked solutions companies in the country
- Unlimited opportunity for growth

If you feel like this would be a great fit for you, please apply today!  You'll be glad you did!

Okay, this sounded exactly like what I'm looking for. The email had no direct link to "apply today!" so I sent the guy my latest resume.

This morning I received an email from him saying, "Please call immediately!"  Wow, I thought. This must be a hot job.

So I returned his call and it soon became apparent I was dealing with someone who wasn't running on all cylinders. He asked how much I had been making at my last job and I told him. For the life of him, he could not understand how I could be a full-time, permanent W-2 employee with benefits who was paid hourly—all but calling me a liar for claiming so. Then he asked what I was making my job previous to that one (the one I'd worked at for seven years in Phoenix). Again, he COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. I was paid on an hourly basis.  "If you work 60 hours in a week, do you get paid for 60 hours?" YES, I said. I get paid 40 hours at my regular pay and then 20 hours of overtime at time and a half. So then I tried tossing out the terms Exempt and Non-Exempt. That didn't register with him either.

This guy just didn't get it, and from there the conversation went downhill. He asked why I wasn't still working at my last position. I explained that because of the revolving door lack of leadership, too much was falling into my lap that I was unqualified for.

Because I got tired of dealing with idiots like you!

"So you were fired?"

"No, I quit."

And his response, dripping with judgment, was, "Without something else lined up? Do you think that was a wise idea?"

I swear, this is not the kind of crap I needed first thing today. When I related this to my friend Michael, he said I should've responded to him with, "It was wiser than talking to you since you clearly don't have a CLUE."

Why don't I think of this stuff while it's happening?

Anyhow, he never asked about my experience or what I actually did at any of the places I worked. Totally fixated on the wage issue, he ended the conversation by saying asking what kind of money I was looking for, "Not hourly, but as an employee."

I told him and he reluctantly said he would pass this information along to the hiring manager.

You do that, buddy. You do that.

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The Stupid is Strong in Them

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS"

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time — this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price"

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England . It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

And the winner is…

19. "My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

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Teh St00pid, It BURNS

To be filed under Religion Spoils Everything

From TUAW:

And now for your daily dose of overreaction.

Extreme Orthodox Christians in Russia have upped their complaints about Apple's iconic logo, according to CNet. This specific group of Orthodox Christians say that Apple's logo represents a "blasphemous" attack on the church since it can be seen as a representation of the Christian mythology of Satan tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden.

As CNet points out, the uproar correlates to other religious/political issues happening in Russia right now — namely the jailing of punk band Pussy Riot for its protest against the Russian Orthodox Church and its (and other secularist's) assertions that the Church has the goal of creating a clerical police state.

This isn't the first time Apple's logo has been associated with Satan, and there's plenty of other crazy examples out there (jump to the 2:40 mark in this video) but this is something that Apple should conceivably be worried about. Anti-blasphemy laws are currently being proposed in Russia which, should they pass, could theoretically bar Apple from selling products with its logo on them in the country.

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Jesus Christ, I Work With Idiots!

Not two hours ago I told this guy IN PERSON TO HIS FACE to ignore the two test messages that were going to be delievered to his mailbox. I just got two separate emails from him asking if these same messages were anything he needed to be concerned about.

Seriously.

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Really?

Really? REALLY?

Although not unexpected for Colorado Springs, where I spotted this today.

Subtext: OMG! The communist, homosexual-loving, Kenyan Antichrist who hates 'murika N-word in the White House is gonna sneak into your bedrooms, rape your wives and then force—force—them to get abortions!

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Keep Talking Mitt. PLEASE Keep Talking.

Not only is he a sociopath, he's a fucking moronic sociopath.

As you may have heard, Ann Romney's airplane had to make an emergency landing on Friday due to an electrical fire. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. But, via Wonkette, it did give Mitt this great idea:

"When you have a fire in an aircraft, there's no place to go, exactly, there's no — and you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don't open. I don't know why they don't do that. It's a real problem. So it's very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she's safe and sound."

Yeah, great question Mitt. I mean, wouldn't it be awesome to be able to crack the window when you're at 35,000 feet? You know, get a taste of that 500+ mile per hour breeze?

It'd be like the mile-high club for Seamus, with the added benefit of asphyxiation induced by the low oxygen levels at cruising altitude—assuming that you manage to avoid having the plane rip apart due to the sudden loss of cabin pressure.

Brilliant, Mitt. Just brilliant.

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"Kentucky: We're dumber than you think."

Well apparently the Kentucky GOP is outraged—outraged, I tell you—that colleges want their incoming students to know things. The nerve!

From Wonkette:

Kentucky Republicans passed education legislation in 2009 that made it easier to compare the state's students to other states. Now they're very upset that the results came back Stupid.

ACT, the state's testing company, interviews professors to figure out the things most important to student readiness for college, which sounds like a smart thing to do. Unfortunately, those professors have bad news: If you want students to do well in biology classes, they have to know about evolution.

Rather predictably, the Kentucky GOP is madder than a plumber in a Chipotle.

"I think we are very committed to being able to take Kentucky students and put them on a report card beside students across the nation," said Republican Sen. David Givens. "We're simply saying to the ACT people we don't want what is a theory to be taught as a fact in such a way it may damage students' ability to do critical thinking."

Yes! Let's teach students about how Chuck E. Cheese made the Earth out of popsicle sticks three years ago. We don't want to damage them.

It gets even better. From the Lexington Herald-Leader:

Givens said he asked the ACT representatives about possibly returning to a test personalized for Kentucky, but he was told that option was very expensive and time-consuming.

Aw, come on, Smart People. Is that so unreasonable? All Kentucky wants is national guidelines that exempt the state from knowing science, because the best way to prepare students for college classes is obviously to ignore the advice of the people teaching them. Don't worry, they have a totally real and responsible argument:

"The theory of evolution is a theory, and essentially the theory of evolution is not science — Darwin made it up," [Rep. Ben] Waide said. "My objection is they should ensure whatever scientific material is being put forth as a standard should at least stand up to scientific method. Under the most rudimentary, basic scientific examination, the theory of evolution has never stood up to scientific scrutiny."

See? It's simple — evolution isn't real. Not like Jesus! Have you even HEARD of the scientific method, biologists? It's a little thing where you get evidence for a thing, and continue testing that thing, except in cases where an invisible man made the heavens and the earth, then you have to believe it and definitely teach it as science and DON'T YOU BE ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT, HEATHEN.

What say you, Vincent Cassone, chairman of the University of Kentucky biology department?

"The theory of evolution is the fundamental backbone of all biological research."

Oh.

"There is more evidence for evolution than there is for the theory of gravity, than the idea that things are made up of atoms, or Einstein's theory of relativity. It is the finest scientific theory ever devised."

Wait wait wait. Are you saying… are you saying we have more evidence for evolution than for gravity? ARE YOU SAYING WE DON'T HAVE EVIDENCE FOR GRAVITY?

Somebody get Kentucky on the phone. It's about to float away. [Lexington Herald-Leader]