Category: They Really ARE That Stupid

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The Week In Stupid

Courtesy Jeff Tiedrich:

this week in stupid: February 15 edition

monday: fuck it, we'll just call it Donnyland

Georgia Rep. Buddy Carter just earned himself a spot in the Performative Dumbfuck Hall of Fame. here's DC news anchor John Rogers to explain why.

"Congressman Buddy Carter of Georgia just introduced a bill authorizing Trump to acquire Greenland and rename it Red, White and Blueland."

get it? get it? they're all colors! Rep. Carter just did a clever … in his pants.

Republicans are really flexing their dipshit muscles these days, now that they've bullied both Google Maps and Apple Maps into renaming that big watery thing to our south to 'the Gulf of America.' it's so fucking childish.

these arrogant nitwits are so high on their own supply that they have no clue that the rest of the world is laughing their asses off at us — when they're not cringing in horror.

you know what? let's just rip up all the maps and start over.

Trinidad and Tobago? that's a stupid name. fuck that — it's now Melanialand. Canada is now America's Hat. Iceland is now Trump Iceland.™ that's a no-brainer — Donny's got to sell that skeevy water to someone.

and the space between Rep. Carter's ears? I'm introducing a bill this week to rename it to the Gulf of Idiot.

tuesday: irony isn't the only thing that's dead

daddy, where do Republicans come from?

well, son, they take big vats of stupid and drop zygotes into them. the ones that don't survive, they send off to Congress.

this week, Anna Paulina Luna, Congresswoman from America's Dangly Bit (as long as we're renaming things), announced that she would be investigating the death of John F. Kennedy — and she plans on having quite the panel of expert witnesses.

"based on what we're actually looking to do with the JFK investigation, I'm looking to actually bring in some of the attending physicians, at the initial assassination, and also the people that had been on the various commissions — like the Warren Commission."

who wants to tell her?

Anna — all those people are dead. everyone on the Warren Commission died decades ago. Gerald Ford was the last surviving member. he died in 2008.

what are you going to do, hold a fucking seance?

as long as you've apparently got a hotline to the Great Beyond, why not go straight to the source? get out your ouija board and summon up Lee Harvey Oswald — that dude knows more about what happened at Dealey Plaza than anyone.

in fact, I beat you to it, Anna. I just got off the phone with Lee Harvey. he keeps up with current events — because down there where he is, everyone's forced to watch Fox News. it's part of the Eternal Torments. check out Lee's nickname for you:

An Appalling Lunatic.

fuck, he's good. I should get him to ghost-write my posts.

wednesday: boo fucking hoo

last Sunday's Superbowl halftime show broke so many wingnut brains, days later they were still bellyaching about it. here's Internet Found Object Stew Peters, cranking the racism dial so far past 11 that it snaps off in his hand.

"after several consecutive years of conducting satanic rituals on live television, the NFL went right back to doing what it does best: giving a platform to degenerate blacks. it's just all so tiresome. every single one of America's biggest entertainment platforms, from the fake and gay and rigged entertainment leagues, like the NFL, to the music industry, to all of our TV shows, has completely given in to this degenerate black filth culture that was created by a bunch of subversive Jews."

wait — did Stewball just call my people subversive? he can't get away with that. where's my fucking space laser?

thursday: whatimalism?

this is just so fucking embarrassing.

"President Trump and Elon Musk, arguably the two most unorthodox and influential American leaders of the 21st century, are practicing and fine-tuning a fused theory of governing power -> Masculine maximalism."

media, can you please stop with the hagiographic hero worship? Donny Convict and the Space Nazi are not avatars of "masculine" anything.

one guy can't go out in public without spackling his pale death-mask face with a gallon of burnt cork. the other has had extensive gender-affirming surgeryjust so he could feel better about himself.

these two jokers are petty, vindictive, dishonest, and never take responsibility for their fuckups. what kind of "masculine maximalism" is that?

admit it, Jim. you know what you really want to say about Donny and Leon, don't you? go ahead. this is a safe space.

"daddy's home."

that's right, Jim — except now America has two daddies, and they're both taking off their belts.

Jim? Jim?

oh my, Jimmy VandeHei just swooned and passed out, with the biggest smile on his face.

friday: a chip off the old extremely homophobic block

it appears that the Space Nazi didn't just inherit the profits from an Apartheid-era emerald operation from his father. he apparently also inherited a rather fucked-up set of values.

"Obama's a queer, married to a man who dresses as a woman."

isn't Errol a charmer? it's really true what they say — the douche doesn't fall far from the bag.

saturday: ?

hey, it's still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

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A Trump Supporter And His Money Are Soon Parted

From Jeff Tiedrich:

Step Right Up, Rubes

It's a wise old saying: a trump supporter and their money are soon parted.

Need proof? Here's an ad that's been running on the Fox Business channel. For only $19.95, you can get a rectangle of paper with a value of zero. Look — it's got Dear Leader's vacuous smirking face and chickenscratch signature on it! Shut up and take my money!

Sometimes I wish I had no morals or ethics, because I would be so good at grifting these dumb-asses. just slap Donny's big dumb pumpkin face onto any cheap-ass Chinese-made trinket and back up the Brinks truck, boy-o.

You know what's going to happen, don't you? Some dimwitted cultist is going to walk into their local 7-11 and try to use this funny money to pay for his slurpee.

It's not like it hasn't happened before.

Turns out, Trump Bucks aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Just ask John Amann of Houston who said he bought $2,200 worth of the phony currency and other Trump monetary items over the past year only to discover they were worthless when he tried to cash them in at his local bank.

MAGA, can we chat? listen up, stupids. If you're shelling out $19.95 for a phony two-dollar bill, or $499.95 for Dear Leader's spray-painted sneakers — or if you spent god-knows-how-much on stickers, and this is what your car looks like …

I don't want to hear one fucking word out of you about the price of eggs.

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Elon Musk Did Not Invent Anything

This seems like a good time to have a universal reminder that Elon Musk did not invent anything.

He is a child of privilege and intolerance.

He leveraged his family's ill gotten gains—yes obviously making SOME good choices but he didn't invent self driving cars or the internet or whatever you tech bros think he did.

He's just another white dude with money.

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The Reich Wing Has No Idea

Newsmax, Fox "News" and other right-wing media are so out of touch they use examples of progressive policies which the majority of Americans actually support to portray Kamala Harris as a dangerous radical.

The Reich Wing really have no idea what they're about to be hit with, and even less idea what to do to fend it off.

Yes Virginia, they really are that stupid.

That's not to say they aren't dangerous. They're hoping that enough of us are asleep at the wheel come November that they'll win and install Hitler 2.0.

PROVE THEM WRONG.

VOTE BLUE!

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Quote Of The Day

Republicans who are asking why they keep losing elections are like the guy who walks into the ER with a nail in his head, asking why he has a headache.

A party led by a rapist that believes it can fix its problem with women by attacking Taylor Swift, with weird little creeps like Mike Johnson as a public face in Congress, that has no serious policy, that has decided to abandon decades of support for freedom in Europe to back a genocidal dictator, a party that is 85% white in a 59% white country, a party that has decided higher education is a gateway drug to Socialism, that believes public health policy should be set by random freaks on the internet and not doctors, a party that is still fighting cultural wars of gender politics the rest of America ended a decade ago, a party that has replaced American optimism with anger and fear of the future….

Is there really any question why this party is losing?"

—Stuart Stevens

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As Bugs Bunny Would Say…

…what a maroon!

From Com!c Sands:

Cruz Fact-Checked After Trying To Blame Biden For Open Border Wall Gates

The GOP Senator tried to blame Biden over a video of an open border wall before being fact-checked with a community note on X about the true purpose of the gates.

In yet another incident of politicians falling for social media misinformation, Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz shared a tweet on Monday that took a snippet of video out of context, leading to a misleading narrative about the border wall.

The tweet featured footage showing a section of the border wall appearing to be welded open, with a caption alleging that the Biden administration deliberately left the wall open as part of a strategic plan.

The original tweet claimed:

"The Biden administration welded open the Trump border wall in Tucson, AZ. It's not a crisis. It's by design."

 

Cruz retweeted the post, adding his own commentary that echoed the sentiment, calling the situation "nuts" and placing the blame on President Joe Biden.

You can see Cruz's tweet below.

Versions of the misleading message have been circulating within right-wing media circles, contributing to the perpetuation of the false narrative.

However, a crucial detail that emerged in an X Community Note appended to the original tweet casts the situation in a different light:

"These are floodgates that are required to be opened during Arizona's monsoon season. If left closed, the force of flash floods caused by seasonal rain and the debris they carry would topple the border wall."

"This practice was also done during the Trump administration."

Many have mocked Cruz for his gaffe.

https://twitter.com/TheRealTanyaG/status/1696328582409162771

This is the second time in the last week that Cruz has made headlines for falling for misinformation.

Earlier, the Texas Republican was mocked online after he fell for a an old photoshopped image of a shark supposedly swimming along a flooded 405 freeway in Los Angeles that circulated as Tropical Stom Hilary lashed Southern California.

Cruz retweeted the photo with a caption expressing surprise, only to be swiftly corrected by internet users who recognized the image as a variation of a hoax that has been circulating online since 2011.

Cruz later admitted he fell for a hoax.

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? ? ?

People on social media are sharing pictures of what they think are Satanic-seeming displays from Hobby Lobby stores and vowing never to shop there again much like many people refuse to drink Bud Light or shop at Target for bigoted reasons. Aside from the fact that Americans are currently eager to boycott any company that feigns tolerance at marginalized people, there's one big problem with these Hobby Lobby store pictures: They're not real.

These pictures of Satanic merchandise on the shelves of Hobby Lobby were made by Jennifer Vinyard using the AI image generating tool Midjourney. That didn't stop people from credulously sharing the photos on Facebook and TikTok as if they were real and expressing their shock and horror that Hobby Lobby, which bills itself as a Christian company, was selling giant statues of Baphomet.

Vinyard, an Austin-area pharmacy tech, generated the pictures with Midjourney and posted them to her personal Facebook, Reddit, and an AI art group on Facebook on June 5. The public post in AI Art Universe went viral and, as of this writing, has been shared more than six thousand times. The post gained more than 100 comments before the page shut them down.

Reactions ran the gamut. Some immediately realized it was AI, others joked about running to Hobby Lobby to pick up some demonic decor, and others expressed fear and disappointment that their beloved craft store would do something like this. "Well. I guess even 'Christian owned' companies can be bought for the right price," one commenter said. "Severely disappointed."

"Wow!! Now this is Crazy..did The Christian Owners sell? Or are they just in Compromised ..and crossed the line and gone woke?!! This is absolutely insane..And a line Real Christians would never cross!!" another user said in reply to repost of the pictures on Facebook.

"Apparently Hobby Lobby has a crapton of Baphomet and demon-like statues just on the shelves right now," TikToker woahthatisstrange said in a video showing off the AI generated images. "I zoomed in on some of the price tags though and they do have pound symbols next to them, so it's gonna be somewhere in Europe. I don't go to Hobby Lobby a lot, I don't know if these are being sold in America as well."

 

"I couldn't believe how many likes and shares the photos got," Vinyard told Motherboard. "I've read so many comments that cracked me up, mostly from the people who thought they were real and were super angry. I even got some mean Messenger messages from them."

Vinyard said she plays with Midjourney occasionally and enjoys painting and drawing. "The prompt was actually very simple, it was something along the lines of 'Hobby Lobby selling Satanic products. I also used photos of Hobby Lobby in the prompt," she said. It took Midjourney around 10 minutes to generate the images. "I'm actually a little embarrassed that they weren't better…If I knew they were going to blow up the way they did, I would have spent more time on them."

Vinyard said she's been a member of the Satanic Temple since 2021, but she does not yet belong to an official congregation. She got the idea for the Hobby Lobby pictures after similar photos showing off Satanic clothing on display at Target went viral at the end of May.  "I just thought it would be funny to use the Satanic decor, since Hobby Lobby pretends to be a Christian  store," Vinyard said.

Hobby Lobby has been at the center of several Christian conservative controversies over the past few years. In 2014, it fought for the right to deny contraceptives to its employees on religious grounds. The case ended up before the Supreme Court, which ruled in its favor. It also paid to smuggle religious artifacts, some of them looted by the Islamic State, out of the Middle East.

Vinyard's prank played into conservative culture war issues. Target and other companies have faced increased scrutiny, protest campaigns, and harassment from U.S. conservatives over a perceived attack on their values. Target removed its various pride collection merchandise in May. On Monday, a union representing Starbucks workers accused the coffee giant of removing pro-LGBTQ signage and merchandise from the store. Starbucks denied it had done so.

"Well look slike Hobby Lobby will be the next company that goes out of business," one Facebook user said, replying to a post about the statues. "I hope it loses billions of dollars satanic statues really by no more hobby lobby."

"Screw Satanic people," another user said in response. "Look all I'm saying is that satanic people are stupid and obviously you worse the damn devil and stuff like that and that's disgusting I could never and satanic people can go work right really where they belong which is hell."

[Source]