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Mr. Tiedrich has such a way with words:

Donny spends the weekend power-loading his diaper

somewhere inside his tacky Florida golf motel, a quadrice-indicted twice-impeached once-convicted popular-vote-losing adderall-huffing insurrection-leading ear-diapering testimony-ducking judge-threatening lawyer-ignoring debate-avoiding witness-tampering day-one-dictatoring disabled-veteran-dishonoring inheritance-squandering rube-fleecing clown-makeup-smearing language-mangling sneaker-hawking serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting butler-bullying daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming bone-spur-faking ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving golf-cheating stock-manipulating weather-map-defacing war-criminal-pardoning horse-paste-promoting paper-towel-flinging race-baiting tax-evading evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering diaper-filling 88-count 78-year-old fluorescent-tangerine narcoleptic fart factory is melting down into a molten puddle of woe-is-me.

why is Donny Convict experiencing heretofore-unknown levels of sad of right now? it’s all because that peanut-farming fuck, Jimmy Carter, had the temerity to up and die — and now the flags at Donny’s inauguration will be flying at half-staff. so unfair!

check out this childish shit.

“The Democrats are all ‘giddy’ about our magnificent American Flag potentially being at ‘half mast’ during my Inauguration. They think it’s so great, and are so happy about it because, in actuality, they don’t love our Country, they only think about themselves. Look at what they’ve done to our once GREAT America over the past four years – It’s a total mess! In any event, because of the death of President Jimmy Carter, the Flag may, for the first time ever during an Inauguration of a future President, be at half mast. Nobody wants to see this, and no American can be happy about it. Let’s see how it plays out. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

oh, boo fucking hoo. suck it up and dry your eyes. not everything is about you. look, Donny, I’m playing ‘YMCA’ on the world’s tiniest violin, just for you.

the claim that this is the “the first time” an inauguration has had half-staff flags is a typically huge pile of Trumpian horse shit.

from the January 21, 1973 edition of The New York Times:

The President spoke from temporary portico erected adjacent to the Capitol, with the United States Marine Band, in scarlet tunics, arrayed before him. All flags on the Capitol were still at half‐staff in memory of former President Harry S. Truman, who died last Dec. 26.

did Tricky Dick whine about how the flags were hung? of course he didn’t. Nixon was a clinically-paranoid criminal, but he wasn’t an overgrown baby. imagine being such a self-absorbed diaperload that you make Richard Fucking Nixon seems statesmanlike by comparison.

Donny can stamp his feet and hold his breath until he turns blue and make threats about “issuing decrees” all he wants, but the reality is he can’t do shit.

the only person who can rescind that order to fly flags at half-staff is the president, Joe Biden. Donny is a private citizen right now. until he takes the Oath of Office, he has no authority to ‘decree’ anything.

as my father liked to say, ‘wish into one hand. shit into the other. see which one fills up first.’

I would put good money on a 100% certainty that as soon as he becomes president, Donny will order those flags to be raised. that’s what power-mad narcissists do. but until then? rage on, little man.

hey, maybe Donny wants to be inaugurated at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum — because Nassau County Republicans are ignoring Governor Kathy Hochul’s decree that New York State’s flags be lowered to half-staff.

MINEOLA, N.Y. — A Republican official who oversees Nassau County on New York’s Long Island has seemingly refused to lower flags to half-staff in memory of the late Democratic President Jimmy Carter, who died last weekend at the age of 100.

Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman, a Republican, has not publicly explained his reason for not lowering flags at Nassau County-operated buildings.

stay classy, GOP.

here’s the other thing Donny’s been whining about this weekend: he’s finally getting sentenced for that matter of falsifying business records in the Big Trump Hush Money Fuckery Trial.

Donny, of course, has been insisting that because of “pre-presidential immunity” (spoiler alert: that’s not a thing), his conviction should be hand-waved away. this week, Judge Merchan handed down a writ of go fuck yourself, I’ll see you at your sentencing on Friday.

Judge Juan Merchan rejected a motion from Donald Trump to dismiss the New York hush money case and set the president-elect’s sentencing for Jan. 10.

and so yesterday, we got this beaut.

that’s some Hall of Fame-level whinging, right there.

you really have to be impressed how Donny works every single fucking grievance into one post. it’s all there — from the gag order, to Jack Smith, to E. Jean Carroll, to the unspeakable indignity of having his vermin-infested Florida golf motel ‘undervalued.’

however, Donny should be thanking his lucky stars — because here’s the sentence he’s likely to receive from Judge Merchan: ‘you’ve been a very bad boy, now go think about what you’ve done.’

The judge in Donald Trump’s New York criminal hush money case indicated Friday that he intends to sentence the president-elect to an “unconditional discharge” out of respect for the presidential immunity doctrine.

Trump faces the possibility of up to four years in prison for his conviction for his conviction, though the sentence of an unconditional discharge means he would avoid prison, fines or probation.

Juan Merchan has refreshingly been the one judge to commit to bringing Donny to some kind of justice for felonious acts — but at the end of the day, even he has to concede that Donny is A Very Special Boy Who Can’t Be Punished, because of that whole got elected president thing.

once again, Donny walks away unscathed after committing felonies that would have earned anyone not named Donald Trump a long prison sentence. stealing classified documents, inciting an insurrection, and now, falsifying business records in order to interfere with an election.

it’s fucking maddening.

oh look, our Very Special Boy is a barely-functional illiterate.

“The U.K. is making a very big mistake. Open up the North Sea. Get rid of Windmills!”

windmills? why the fuck is Donny gibbering about windmills when the article he’s reacting to is about a windfall tax?

because our next president is a rapidly-deteriorating half-wit who can’t read a simple headline without veering into the tall weeds and completely misunderstanding the information that’s being presented to him, that’s why.

three words into the header, the family of feral raccoons that live inside Donny’s skull start chattering “windfall, windfall, windmill … we hate windmills, they cause noise cancer” — and off Donny goes, blithering on about yet another well-worn grudge.

this is why the analysts who prepared Donny’s daily intel briefing during his first presidency eventually gave up on trying to make him understand complex issues and instead spoon-fed him oversimplified bullet-point lists.

and this is why Donny never stops bragging about being able to point to a drawing of a camel — because that’s about all this cognitively-impaired homunculus can manage any more.

buckle in, it’s going to be a bumpy four years.

Donny spends the weekend power-loading his diaper

RESIST!

Step Right Up, Rubes