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Here’s One for You

If you could instantly be granted fluency in 5 languages—not taking away your existing language proficiency in any way, solely a gain—which 5 would you choose?

Mine are German, Spanish, Japanese, Russian, and Vietnamese (so I can understand what the ladies in the nail salon are gossiping about).

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AMEN!

I am so sick of him. I am sick of the sound of his voice, his whining, his grifting, his mere existence. I just want him to disappear and return to the pits of hell from which he came.

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Yes, We’re Moving

Hopefully for the last time.

We saw the new (old) place yesterday, and after seeing what had been done to the house, it was an absolute no brainer to tell Amanda and James we wanted to move back in. (For those of you who have been following less than 2 years, there was a fire.)

I mean, the moment we walked in—even though the place is still not ready for immediate occupancy—it was like coming home. That’s home with the capital “H.”

The house has been completely rewired and brought to up to code. The entirety of the A/C system has been replaced. A new heat pump has been placed on the roof (the previous one was on a slab at the back of the house) and new ducting has been installed throughout the house, bringing ducts into rooms that previously had none. The work was done professionally, and is being inspected by the City to make sure everything is up to snuff.

The kitchen as well is being completely refurbished, including new appliances. This weekend James is hip-deep in refinishing all the existing cabinets (which had been pulled out completely to allow for the installation of new drywall and electrical). It makes sense to refinish and reuse these cabinets; they’re in great shape, original to the house and made of solid wood.  (Something you’re not going to get from IKEA.) They’re being finished in a medium forest green color, and they’re planning on putting in white quartz countertops…and a dishwasher/disposal! (Neither of which were present in the house previously.) And speaking of IKEA, James and Amanda obviously liked the IKEA under-cabinet lights we’d installed when we lived there, because they’re putting in permanent ones now and have replaced the single overhead light fixture with a series of recessed can lights.

We’re losing the gas range (with the exception of the water heater that caused this whole fiasco, the house is now all-electric), but Ben, surprisingly, is fine with that.

The color scheme of the house has also been changed. No longer landlord beige throughout, it’s a bright white with accent walls in several of the rooms painted a rich blue-gray. It looks good.

They’re letting us pick out the new ceiling fans that will be in each room, as well as making a few other recommendations.

The only disappointment is that except for a new floor and a coat of paint—and I assume the refinishing of the vanity cabinet, the bathroom is remaining as it was. One of our requests was a full width, full height mirror over the vanity instead of the 1940s-era medicine cabinet, so that will be done as well.

So when are we moving? James estimated that he will have the place ready by the end of January. I think that’s optimistic, but maybe the fact that we’re moving back in will be the impetus he needs to get it finished. Since our current lease ends at the end of December, we’ve notified our current landlord that we’ll be exercising the month-to-month option he offered, and we’ll be out of here by the end of February.

Moving is going to be a bitch, but I’m more confident now that 2023 might actually be a good year.

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Masterful Trolling

Social media users cheered as Democratic President Joe Biden masterfully trolled former Republican President Donald Trump’s big “announcement” with a few announcements of his own.

Earlier, Trump announced he’d launched a new line of collectible digital trading cards priced at $99 each that feature images of him depicted as a muscular superhero with laser beams shooting from his eyes.

President Biden, not to be outdone, decided to post some “announcements” too, though these were of significantly more importance than the former President’s foray into the NFT—or nonfungible token—market.

He noted via his official Twitter account that inflation has eased, that he just signed the Respect for Marriage Act (RMA), which requires the United States federal government and all U.S. states and territories to recognize the validity of same-sex and interracial civil marriages in the United States.

He also pointed out that his administration had just recently secured the release of basketball player Brittney Griner from a Russian penal colony, that gas prices “are lower than a year ago,” and that the state of Arizona is now seeing 10,000 “new high-paying jobs.”

The replies were epic.

Trump had posted on his troubled social media platform Truth Social that he would be making a “major announcement” without providing any details.

Some had speculated that his announcement would be related to the Speaker race currently dividing Republicans in the House of Representatives, where a faction of right-wing extremists has refused to support House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy’s bid for the Speaker position once Republicans regain control of the House in January.

The cards were the subject of considerable ridicule online, including from Republicans who’d criticized Trump’s rather inactive 2024 presidential campaign.

As of Friday morning, Trump was claiming the collection of trading cards had already “Sold Out.”

Uh-huh.

As the great Ann Richards would say, “Stick a fork in him. He’s done.”

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