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I Have a Theory

I have a theory about why everything just seems to be going to shit these days.

And yes, I know this sounds crazy.

Last year Gaia, The Universe, The Divine Spirit…fate…whatever you want to call it…presented humanity a unique chance to change direction through the first wave of COVID. It was nasty, but it felt like we were growing as a society. We locked down. We started treating each other with a little more compassion. We generally stayed/worked from home, and allowed the air above the cities to clear and nature to heal a bit. Social injustices were brought to the forefront of our consciousness in a way we couldn’t ignore.  But in our hubris, the powers that be (i.e. capitalism) decreed that our society had to return to the malfunctioning state it was in previously—sooner rather than later—and look at the mess we’re in now. And those voices, rather than admitting their mistakes, are digging their heels in even further. (I’m looking at you, Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, and other wanna-be Trump inheritors who would seemingly prefer to kill of their constituents rather than admit they were wrong.)

We were given a new path last year, and it seems that as a whole humanity has done a 180 and whoever is running this thing called life looked us right in the eye and said…

Not a magic word, but the grace to accept and embrace change. I mean, we started to, and for a while things were looking good. But then came the crazy, the greed, the foolishness of humanity that once again took hold and threw us back to where we were before all this started. As a species, and particularly as a civilization, we’ve fucked up.

And that is why it seems that every. damn. day. something is either going wrong, breaking down, or generally not doing what’s expected. We had a chance to change direction, and when it was rejected, Mr. Nedry popped up and said, “Ah, ah, ah…”

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One of Those Movies…

…that, along with Cabin in the Woods and The Fifth Element, if I happen across it while channel surfing, I will almost always stop and watch, no matter where in the story it might be.

Silent Hill (2006) dir. Christopher Gans

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I Need to Let It Go

It’s been nine months since the fire, and still—every now and then—I’m unexpectedly hit with an overwhelming sense of loss. Yes, I know we all got out safely and probably 85% of our things were salvaged or replaced with new, but occasionally I’m caught unawares by the thought of something in that other 15% and it just devastates me.

Case in point, this morning I was listening to my “Winter 2016” music mix (prompted by a friend to whom I’d sent it on CD back in the day asking for a new track list last week), and seeing there were several soundtrack cuts in the mix, I remembered that my hasty decision to just let all my DVDs get crated off to the dump in the aftermath of the fire was a horrible, horrible mistake. There were several in the collection that I wished I’d kept; notably gifts from Ben: Westworld,  Preacher, and lord knows how many others. Then there were all four seasons of Battlestar Galactica, the short-lived Caprica series, a copy of The Martian that we bought on a whim and brought home for a date night, and dozens of others that are now just gone. Blame for losing them lays squarely on my shoulders, even though at the time I didn’t deem them important enough to keep.

And then there was the box of CDs in my den closet, something that I would have rescued if I’d remembered they were there. I hadn’t played any of them in years, having digitized everything, but many of them had extreme sentimental value. Some I’d owned for thirty or more years and were part of the “don’t sell no matter how dire your financial situation becomes” collection. All gone; realized only after the salvage company had gone through the place and they were not on the “salvage and restore” list—or, frankly, the disposal list either. So god only knows what happened to them.

So I’m in a bit of a funk today.

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