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Shade +100

From The Palmer Report:

Earlier today, Donald Trump reminded us of just what a fragile, insecure, pathetic, jealous loser he is when he launched a psychotic attack on teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg. Trump clearly couldn’t handle the fact that Time Magazine chose her as Person of the Year, so he went apoplectic. But it turns out Greta had the perfect response to him.

Donald Trump posted this tweet about Greta Thunberg being named Time Magazine Person of the Year: “So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!” We’ve already spelled out why this tweet was so disgustingly awful. But Greta handled the whole thing far better than we could have.

Greta Thunberg simply changed her Twitter bio to this: “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.” That’s right, she’s cleverly throwing the turd’s bullying words back at him. That’s why Greta will go further in life than Donald Trump ever will. She’s going to save the world. He’s going to prison for his crimes.

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That’s a Really Long Time

Condensed from two separate posts found on Tumblr:

Ancient Egypt existed for a really long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump those in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years.

So, if you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2019. TWO THOUSAND NINETEEN. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE “BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST.”

We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another ~700 years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.

It’s a really long time.

To make this clear, I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1 AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version.

If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…

300 AD: step pyramid built
450 AD: Great Pyramid at Giza built
815 AD: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out
950 AD: Egypt re-unified
1350 AD: Middle Kingdom ends
1450 AD: New Kingdom begins
1520 AD: Hatshepsut is on the throne
1650 AD : Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city
1680 AD: Tutankhamun dies
1720 AD: Ramesses II “the great” ascends to the throne
1740 AD: World’s first peace treaty signed
1790 AD: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children
1920 AD: Egypt breaks into 2 states again

And now we get to—the future, If we started at 1 AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet

2050 AD: Briefly re-united as a single state
2180 AD: Civil war
2250 AD: Nubian kings take over
2335 AD: Assyrian conquest
2665 AD: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
2930 AD: Cleopatra VII born
2970 AD: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.

And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates

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So In Other Words…

…I essentially have a brand new computer. (Not that I’m complaining.) You replaced everything except the bottom cover plate and the display? Apple, I know you have more money than God, but how can this possibly be cost effective? Why not just replace the entire machine outright?

And that is exactly what will be happening—per Apple—if the keyboard goes out again within the next six months when my Apple Care finally runs out (and possibly thereafter because of the extended keyboard repair program). This repair (thankfully completely covered) was the third strike.

And did I mention all my holes ports are nice and tight again?

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Back to the Happiest Place on Earth

Last week the space bar on my MBP stopped working. Thankfully it was only for a brief period of time, but it was a sign that I needed to get off my ass and get that machine back to Apple for yet another top case/keyboard replacement. In addition, the machine has been “popping” for months. The best way to describe it is the sound an empty plastic drink bottle being squeezed. There’s no rhyme or reason to when it pops; sometimes it happens when the machine’s cool, sometimes when it’s warm. And lastly, the USB ports on either side of the machine have become laughably loose—and whatever’s connected randomly loses connection (usually external drives. Annoying.).

I still have about seven months left on my Apple Care, so I knew sooner rather than later I would have to bite the bullet and get the machine in for service. As I’ve bitched before, it’s a huge hassle to part with the machine for the typical 3-5 days it takes Apple to replace this, but thankfully we still have Ben’s old 2010 model that I can use while mine is out for repair. It’s a [first world problem] pain in the ass to transfer my data now because that machine can’t be upgraded to the same OS I’d been running on mine, and—because Apple—you can’t utilize the built-in Migration Assistant to seamlessly transfer data from the newer machine to the older.

So I have to go in manually and move stuff. I left Microsoft ten years ago because of this kind of bullshit. But Apple…it just works!

If you count the original exchange of my laptop a week after getting it, this is the fourth time this issue has been addressed, and—per Apple—this would automatically qualify me for a complete machine replacement.  But in Apple’s view, this policy is by serial number, so this repair is only the third time now. So…no soup for me!

On the other hand, I was told they’re no longer making parts for my 2016 model, meaning I’ll probably end up with the newer iteration of the top case containing the (marginally) better butterfly assembly. Still not ideal, but if this replacement craps out before the expiration of my Apple Care, the Genius at Apple told me I’ll end up with a new laptop altogether. (A 2019—or if the timing is right, hopefully the hotly-anticipated 2020 model with the scissor keyboard if it comes out by then.)

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Sometimes I Think We’re Living in a Simulation and Just Running Lines of Code

Perhaps we are lines of code…

Humans fancy that there’s something special about the way we perceive the world, and yet we live in loops, as tight and as closed as the Hosts do, seldom questioning our choices…” ~ Doctor Robert Ford, Westworld

This quote has been rolling around my head lately, leaving me amazed at its truth. Have you thought about your daily routine? I know my weekday mornings especially are locked into the same basic loop day in and day out, as if running lines of code from a script. Can I change it? Of course I can, but it snaps back to what it was if the new routine doesn’t prove useful.  The script changes on its own over time in large and small ways, but the basic…functionality…remains unchanged.

There are many other examples of this script-running in my life. What about you? Can you truly say you’re “drastically off-narrative”?

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