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Arcane Forbidden Knowledge

Between my mom and grandmother, I was taught most of the basic life skills: how to cook, clean, dust, bake, do laundry, iron, make small sewing repairs, dress cuts and abrasions, and generally keep a household. I suppose on some unconscious level they both knew I was destined to be living by myself for the majority of my adult life, and didn’t want me imploding because I couldn’t boil an egg.

The one bit of arcane forbidden knowledge that they did not pass on however, was how to fold a fucking fitted sheet, and I mutter curses under my breath whenever I’m forced to attempt it. I am destined to live out my life not fully understanding the magic necessary to bring it about—much like my never mastering algebra, chemistry, physics, and the Law of General Relativity.

Seriously. Five decades removed from childhood and I still can’t. The best I can hope for is to create something resembling a flat, square, bloated puffy pillow that will at least slide into a drawer and looks good on the outside—even if it’s a crumpled mess on the inside. Wait…isn’t that a metaphor for me?

This does not help.

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I Wonder…

…if the Morgan Twins fuck each other.

C’mon…it’s just unnatural curiosity.

But I’m not curious enough to pay money to get into their Only Fans site to find out.

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Pleasantly Surprised

Last night I watched Episode 1 of HBO’s new series His Dark Materials, based on the much-loved Philip Pullman novels.

His Dark Materials, a trilogy of books (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass) were my constant late night companions sixteen years ago while undergoing cancer treatment and unable to sleep. I was immediately drawn into the alternate universe and the adventures of Lyra and the rest of the characters she encountered on her journey.

I thought the feature film, which was supposed to be one of three (encompassing the entire trilogy), done 12 years ago, was good. Not great, but good. I felt the casting was spot-on, not only with Daniel Craig as Lord Asriel but also Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter. I was sorely disappointed at the ending, however, as it was at that point that the movie veered off from the original source material in an unforgivable fashion, and the remaining two books were never filmed.

This time, however, it appears HBO will not shy away from the controversial content of those two books that ultimately killed that first attempt to bring the story to the screen. His Dark Materials was marketed as a Young Adult series of books, but the themes addressed therein are decidedly adult in nature and have pissed off a lot of the sanctimonious religious types because they dare to question life, death, and religious dogma and control itself.

HBO is marketing this as another Game of Thrones or Westworld, already renewing it for Season Two, indicating they have zero fucks to give in regard to said sanctimonious religious types.

Last night got it all off to a good start, and I’m eagerly looking forward to the journey HBO is providing.

If you haven’t read the books (and frankly, I need to read them again as it’s been years), I highly recommend them.

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One Year From Today

Assuming the Orange Shit Show currently illegally occupying the White House has not been Impeached and removed from office, dragged off in a straightjacket, or has ended all life on Earth by starting World War III, this country will finally have the opportunity to correct what is unarguably the worst mistake made in its 200-plus year history.

While I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, I cannot stress enough how important that every Democrat and Independent GET OUT AND VOTE. And vote for whoever the fuck has that (D) after their name on the ballot.

While apparently 20% of our neighbors have no problem whatsoever with Nazis and Fascists occupying the upper echelon of government, 80% of us DO NOT, and as a majority, we need to put aside our petty philosophical differences, and send an unmistakable message to the world that as a country we do not condone the events of the last three years. They are NOT acceptable. They are NOT who we are.

While we may have had the luxury in years past of not voting for our candidate because he or she doesn’t have the ideological purity we seek, we DO NOT have that option in the next election.

I loathe Bernie. I’m no fan of Biden. (I’m sick to death of old white men running this country.) But if either of those gentlemen secure the Democratic nomination I will pull the lever for them next November. If your desired candidate does not secure the nomination, buck up, hold your hose, and vote BLUE, because—and I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic here—if the Orange Russian Wig Stand somehow survives Impeachment and goes on to win another term, you can kiss the United States goodbye.

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