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Ya THINK?!

My instagram is being inundated with posts about the Star Trek: Strange New Worlds third season. You think they’re realizing they—as my mother used to say—bit off their nose to spite their face? Star Trek is a huge franchise and you do not piss off Trekkies.

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The Week In Stupid From Jeff Tiedrich

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: stop the presses! no wait, start them back up

here’s Utah Senator Mike Lee with some stunning news — the kind of five-alarm shit you can only announce with flashing siren emojis.

holy shit. Fed Chair Jerome Powell is out! fuck yeah! BUH-BYE, Jerome, you obstructionist cum-sock! rack up another win for Dear Leader!

I mean, it’s totally weird how no actual news source is reporting this, but look: Mike’s posted the resignation letter — and Mike’s an actual US Senator, so it’s got to be legit, right?

hang on — wait just one goddamned minute, what’s going on with that seal down at the bottom? let’s take a closer look.

Mike Lee, you fucking imbecile. you got taken in by some shoddy AI-generated slop.

look at the lettering, you dunce. “Odeo of Govery8s8 of the Eirebal Reserve SielVa” — which just happens to be my favorite branch of government, because they’re the ones who sAe our en5rre coun!ey’s in#riiet r4t88.

the Senator Dipshit deleted his tweet, but — look, Mike, I hate to be the one to break this to you: you do know what the internet never does, don’t you?

that’s right, it never forgets.

tuesday: cloudy with a chance of dumbfuck

what happened to Naomi Wolf? she used be a garden-variety ‘wellness’ crank who dabbled in vaccine denial, but evidently the covid pandemic completely clownfucked her brain, because now she’s a full-bore conspiracy loon.

not only does Naomi find the evil machinations of the Deep State lurking around every corner — she seems completely befuddled by the sky.

“I don’t even know what this is, Salem MA”

ooh! ooh! ooh! pick me! pick me! I know the answer!

oh wait, the entire internet got there before me.

now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter —

— because the entire internet also showed up to mock the shit out of Naomi’s dumb-as-fuck tweet.

undaunted, Naomi’s back for more.

ok, I confess, Naomi. this is what clouds look like when the Jewish Space Lasers are scanning the Earth in search of fuckwit conspiracy loons to torment.

don’t mess with us.

wednesday: the more you know

hey, remember Glenn Beck? me neither. as one of Fox News’ original found objects, he was fucking huge back in the day, with a highly-rated daily show. but that was then, and this is now. Glenn still does a show. you can see it on the who even cares, nobody watches it network.

what happens when a parody becomes a parody of itself? get ready to find out, because here’s Glenn to explain exactly how Barack HUSSEIN Obama treasoned with Russia.

oh my god, Obama’s evil conspiracy has so many tentacles that TWO chalkboards can barely contain the ginormity of it.

good lord, Glenn Beck has meme-ified himself.

but of all the questions raised by Glenn’s two chalkboards, there’s only one that I need answered: has Glenn Beck been filching his wardrobe out of the dumpster behind Steve Bannon’s house?

thursday: you know a lot of what now?

listen up, all you commie rat bastards trying to take down our Great Dear Leader. Tennessee Rep Tim Burchett has a question for you: what’s the big deal about Donny having a dead pedo bestie? don’t we all?

“they knew each other. they ran in the same circles. it’s just like me. I know a lot of dirtbags myself.”

excuse me, you what?

that’s a stunning confession, Tim — and we’re going to need to know a lot more about these ‘dirbags’ you’re hanging out with.

does your name show up over and over on their flight logs?

do your dirtbag friends have 14 different phone numbers for you in their little black books?

do you encourage your children to hang out with your dirtbag friends?

most importantly, do you and your dirtbag friends get up into the kind of madcap hijinks where you invite a bunch of young “calendar girls” to a “party” at your tacky Florida golf motel, and when they get there, they find out that the only two dudes in attendance are you and your fuckface pedo pal?

just asking questions, Tim. we’re still allowed to ask questions in the Mad King’s hellish dystopia, aren’t we?

friday: you see what kind of people?

you may have asked yourself, how did Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden and Barack HUSSEIN Obama find the time to gin up all that fake Epstein File flim-flammery, just to make Dear Leader look bad?

I mean, they produced hundreds of thousands of pages of documents. that’s a lot of work for just three people, isn’t it? even with the help of James Comey and John Brennan, come on, that’s still a fuckload of effort.

QAnon conspiracy crank Scott McKay has the answer: ginning up all that bogus data is a piece of cake when everyone involved is dead.

my contact called me afterwards and gave me an amazing drop of information, or confirmation, of what exactly has been going on in this battle. number one is that Hillary Clinton has been removed from the playing field. she was removed December 31st, 2018, I believe it was, at Gitmo. Trump witnessed it. horrible thing he saw, he said. apparently she wouldn’t die. so, he said he never wanted to see it again. also there were six, five different Bidens that have been playing out that role. I just got off the phone with the same person, who is now overseas. I sent him a text earlier about something, and he said, by the way, and I won’t mention the woman’s name, who this came from, this is a high-level official. but he said, the text that I just got from her, said, ‘fake Obama — arrest coming soon.’ so, once again, these players have already been removed from the playing field.”

um, Scott? Nurse Ratched is here to remind you that it’s medication time.

now here’s the nice attendant to help you back to your bed, bro.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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I Asked ChatGPT To Generate A Report on the Current State of the USA from an Alien Anthropoligist

And I can’t say I disagree with a single word of it.

Field Report: Sociocultural Assessment of the United States (Terran Subregion)

Observer: T’lenn 47-A, Anthropology Unit, Galactic Survey Corps

Planet: Earth (Sol III)

Region Focus: United States of America

Date of Observation: Terran Year 2025

I. Political Structure and Stability

The subject entity exhibits a constitutional-democratic framework in form, though in practice it is experiencing elevated internal discord. Two dominant political factions—nominally committed to representative governance—display increasingly oppositional behavior. Legislative gridlock and erosion of trust in electoral integrity are prominent.

Assessment: Fragmented political identity. Signs of institutional fatigue. Tribal allegiance superseding collective governance.

II. Economic Conditions

Economic indicators suggest extreme productive capacity and technological sophistication. However, wealth stratification is acute. Despite an abundance of resources, substantial populations experience housing insecurity, inadequate medical care, and food instability.

Assessment: Advanced technocapitalist system with malfunctioning redistributive mechanisms. Resource surplus coexists with systemic deprivation.

III. Technosocial Dynamics

Civilians possess high-access to digital systems, artificial intelligence, and near-instant global communication. Yet social cohesion is in decline. Widespread misinformation, addictive interfaces, and algorithmic echo chambers contribute to psychological distress and civic fragmentation.

Assessment: Neural overload from information ecosystems. Adaptation lag between cognitive architecture and technological environment.

IV. Cultural Output and Influence

Despite domestic turbulence, the entity remains a prolific generator of cultural content—music, cinema, fashion, digital media—consumed globally. Narrative control and emotional resonance through storytelling remain potent instruments of influence.

Assessment: Cultural hegemon. Exports identity-forming content at scale. Myth and media deeply intertwined.

V. Ecological Behavior

Empirical evidence of ecological decline (climate variation, biosphere stress) is broadly available. Responses are fragmented. Resistance to mitigation stems from industrial interests and short-horizon political calculations.

Assessment: Cognitive dissonance between awareness and action. Evolutionarily maladaptive prioritization of immediate economic benefit.

VI. Ideological Constructs

The region is structured around self-perpetuating ideals: individual freedom, exceptionalism, meritocracy. However, operational reality increasingly diverges from foundational mythologies. Internal debates over identity, history, and justice intensify.

Assessment: Mythic dissonance. Foundational narratives both unify and destabilize.

Conclusion

The United States represents a paradox: a civilization at the apex of capability yet mired in internal contradiction. It is uncertain whether the entity will stabilize, bifurcate, or collapse under the weight of its own complexity.

Projected Trajectory:

Outcome indeterminate. Requires continued observation.

Recommendation:

Reassess in 5–10 orbital cycles or upon evidence of major systemic shift.

 

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For Any Of You Following Along…

September 2nd.

That’s the tentative date of my surgery and the inflection point [I may not be using that term correctly, but you still get the idea] marking a new chapter of my life.

We’ve now met with everyone involved in my treatment and care, and I have to say I feel a hell of a lot better about what is coming. All my doctors have exuded confidence without cockiness. While this diagnosis is certainly not something I would’ve wanted if given the choice, I’m happy I have the medical team I do.

More to come…

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I Need To Go Shower Now

Here are all of the Epstein Files that have either been leaked or released (via Reddit) in case they all go fuckity bye there.

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/gov.uscourts.nysd.447706.1320.0-combined.pdf (verified court documents)

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/black-book-unredacted.pdf (verified pre-Bondi) Trump is on page 85, or pdf pg. 80

Here’s the flight logs https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21165424-epstein-flight-logs-released-in-usa-vs-maxwell/

Trump’s name is circled. The circled individuals are the ones involved in the trafficking ring according to the person who originally released the book. These people would be “The List “ Here is the story.

Other Epstein Information

https://cdn.factcheck.org/UploadedFiles/Johnson_TrumpEpstein_Calif_Lawsuit.pdfhere’s a court doc of Epstein and Trump raping a 13 yr old together.

Some people think this claim is a hoax. Here is Katies testimony on youtube:

 

Jeffrey Epstein’s Ex Says He Boasted About Being a Mossad Agent https://share.google/jLMGahKlCzfV1RHZq Jeffrey Epstein and Israel have both have the same lawyer Alan Dershowitz Dershowitz says he’s building ‘legal dream team’ to defend Israel in court and on international stage | The Times of Israel https://share.google/Lb9hDOduBWG4Elpid

Other Trump information

Here’s Trump admitting to peeping on 14-15 year old girls at around 1:40 on the Howard Stern Radio Show:

Trump’s promise to his daughter: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-dating-promise_n_57ee98cbe4b024a52d2ead02 “I have a deal with her. She’s 17 and doing great ― Ivanka. She made me promise, swear to her that I would never date a girl younger than her,” Trump said. “So as she grows older, the field is getting very limited.”

Trump’s modeling agency was probably part of Jeffreys pipeline: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/08/donald-trump-model-management-illegal-immigration/

Do your part and spread them around like a meme sharing them and saving them helps too!

If those didn’t work try these: https://ia600705.us.archive.org/21/items/epsteindocs/ https://goppredators.wordpress.com/ https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/49344563

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Midweek Madness From Jeff Tiedrich

some days, everything in the news is so unbelievably stupid that you don’t even know where to start. so let’s just spin the Big Wheel of Moron and see where it lands. ready? here we go.

oh look, the House just made itself go fuckity-bye for the rest of the summer.


why? because mean old Thomas Massie has been walking around with a big, throbbing discharge petition in his pants, and he’s been threatening to expose it to everyone.

House Speaker Limpdick Von Gavel had worked himself into a Ginormous Furious over this discharge petition — because had Massie gotten the chance to pull it out, it would have forced a vote on releasing the Epstein Files.

The acrimony comes as Massie continues to push for a vote on his bipartisan resolution calling for the release of documents in the Jeffrey Epstein case, a measure many Republicans are opposed to. Massie is vowing to use a discharge petition to force a vote on the measure, something rarely used by a member of the majority.

and so Speaker Limpdick did the only thing he could. he bravely ran away, away.

in fact, he made everyone run away.

Speaker Mike Johnson announced on Tuesday that he was cutting short the week’s legislative business and sending the House home early for the summer on Wednesday to avoid having to hold votes on releasing files related to the accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

there you have it, folks. that’s the length to which the entire Republican apparatus will go to suppress every shred of evidence about the sick shit that Dear Leader and his dead pedo bestie were up to — they’ll even make themselves go fuckity-bye.

the most useless Congress in history now goes home for the rest of the summer. apart from that big ugly bill that shreds the social safety net while giving another huge tax cut to gazillionaires, they accomplished fuck-all. they couldn’t even manage to rename a post office.

now, all these worthless Republican Reps can go back to their home districts and do fuck-all at home. don’t expect these profiles in courage to hold any town halls. they all know what will happen if they do: they’ll have to listen to angry constituents scream at them about why is my health insurance gone? why did the Space Nazi get a tax cut? — and above all: why didn’t you vote to release the Epstein Files?

everyone knows that Dear Leader’s name is all over the Epstein Files. otherwise, why would every one of Donny’s enablers be working so hard to make sure those files never see the light of day?

what a ridiculous fucking charade.

oh look, President Saddy McSadsad is sad.

“We had the Greatest Six Months of any President in the History of our Country, and all the Fake News wants to talk about is the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax!”

oh, boo fucking hoo. put a sock in it, you whiny jackass.

first of all, was this past six months really the greatest of any presidency? fact check:

as for the second part: Alexa, are the Epstein Files all anyone wants to talk about?

fact check: of fucking course they are — because every five minutes, new shit comes to light.

Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event.

what else should we be talking about, Donny, if not your pedo bestie? would you like us to talk about how increasingly demented and incoherent you are? would that make you happier?

you know, he has these think tanks. and they build— they build buildings for people that think. and it’s really not thinking, it’s uhh, a little bit of combination of thinking, but it’s uhh, it’s something you sort of have, or you don’t have.”

holeeeey shit. ‘they build buildings for people that think.’ no, wait — they don’t just think, they do a combination of thinking. or they don’t, because it’s something only some people have.

here’s your pudding cup, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants. it’s obviously way past your bedtime.

by the way, they also build buildings for people who don’t think.

but please, do go on, sir. we’re hanging on every word.

“but what we found is even more so. we found absolute— this isn’t like evidence, or the— this is like proof. irrefutable proof, that Obama was sedatious. that Obama led— was trying to lead a coup. and it was with Hillary Clinton, with all these other people. but Obama headed it up. and, if, you know, I get a kick when I hear— everyone talks about about people I never even heard of, was this— no, no, it was Obama. he headed it up. and it says so right in the papers. and everything. got everything. this is the biggest scandal in the history of our country. and it really goes on to even the autopen.”

words, do they even exist?

what is ‘sedatious,’ does anyone know? is that when you’re bodacious andseditious?

excuse me, but where are the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media? can not one of these wastes of space stand up and, at long last, finally ask what the fuck is wrong with you?


no, they can’t.

they’re all content just stand around and nod their heads, as if a diaper-loading grievance-factory hallucinating crimes and threatening to imprison his predecessor was the most normal thing in the world.

nothing to see here, right?

imagine if Joe Biden had accused Donny of trying to lead a coup. OH WAIT, THAT’S A THING THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.


Barack Obama has issued a response to the Mad King’s caterwauling.

Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response. But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.

Nothing in the document issued last week undercuts the widely accepted conclusion that Russia worked to influence the 2016 presidential election but did not successfully manipulate any votes. These findings were affirmed in a 2020 report by the bipartisan senate intelligence committee, led by then-chairman Marco Rubio.

that’s pretty eloquent, but I like Stephen Colbert’s response to Donny better.

“go fuck yourself.”

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Can You Say Desperation?

Little Donny Fuckface is rattled right now. he wants nothing more than for everyone to stop asking so many questions about his dead pedo bestie. for the first time in his soft, privileged life, the press has sunk its teeth into a scandal they can’t be distracted from — and the Mad King hasn’t a clue how to handle it.

Donny’s playing all the old hits, throwing everything at the wall and hoping that something — anything! — will stick.

Obama did a treason! Biden did an autopen! sports isn’t racist enough! Murdoch sucks! Colbert sucks! I’m suing everybody! SQUIRREL!!!

it’s not working. nothing is working — and Donny’s getting slaughtered in the polls.

just how rattled is Team Donny right now? this rattled: they’ve raised the threat level to DEFCON Hillary.

it’s right there on page one of the Republican Diversion Handbook: when all else fails, investigate the Email Lady.

Bondi announced Monday that the Department of Justice has released documents tied to the FBI’s investigation into Clinton’s use of a private email server during her tenure as Secretary of State. The move comes in response to a long-standing request from Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley, who has pushed for greater transparency surrounding the probe.

oh, thank the day. Chuck Grassley — who, at six hundred and seventy-nine years of age, is America’s oldest living elected official — is finally going to get to the bottom of this whole Hillary emails thing.

Chuck’s premise is that the FBI didn’t try hard enough to gin up proof that Hillary broke laws by running her own email server. Grassley believes that when the initial FBI investigation came up with bupkis, they should have opened a second. and if that one didn’t prove criminal culpability, they should have opened a third.

in other words, the FBI should have Benghazi’d the shit out of that email server.

Benghazi — now there was an investigation. do you think Republicans were daunted when they couldn’t find any proof that Hillary was responsible for the deaths of four diplomats in Libya? fuck no. they immediately cranked a second investigation in high gear. and then a third. a fourth. a fifth.

do you know how many total investigations there were into Benghazi? eight. that includes the one where they hauled Hillary before live cameras and made her testify for eleven consecutive hours — which she did with grace and humor.

so you can well understand why Chuck Grassley can’t believe that everyone just gave the fuck up after one email investigation. who does that, investigate Hillary only once? it makes no sense.

and, of course, Pam Bondi couldn’t wait to agree to Grassley’s request to declassify everything the FBI had on Hillary. anything — anything — to get MAGA’s mind off of the Epstein Files.

naturally, the wingnut outrage-industrial complex is only too happy to play along.

but as long they’re delving into Hillary’s imaginary crimes again, maybe they could check out that time when she accidentally butt-dialed a journalist and texted him classified war plans.

oh wait, that wasn’t Hillary who did that. it was the Fox News dunk-tank clown who screwed that up.

someone remind me, how many hearings were held after Pete Kegstand’s actual breach of national security? I seem to recall it was zero.

and please, someone remind me how many hours Congress spent grilling Piss-Drunk Pete on live television? spoiler alert: again, it was zero.

how many hours did Donny Convict spend testifying before the January 6th Committee? again, I seem to recall it was zero. in fact, when Donny was subpoenaed to testify, he blew it off and didn’t show up.

but sure, let’s just hassle the Email Lady every day for the rest of her life. there’s got to be something on her. there’s just got to be.

look: the only thing that anyone needs to know about Hillary’s emails is that Donny’s name is on every page of the Epstein files.

hey, as long as Pam Bondi is so horny to declassify FBI files and hand them out like party favors, I have a couple of requests — because there are some other unsolved scandals that really need to be looked into.

topmost: it’s time to reopen the investigation into TanSuitGate.

could we please get all the files about Obama’s tan suit?

sure, everyone knows that Obama wore a tan suit, but we never found out why.

look at poor old Comer Fudd. he still can’t figure out how old Joe Biden is.

I’m sure the FBI has files somewhere with Joe Biden’s birthdate on them. could someone do Comer a solid and pass them his way?

hey Donny — you want this to all go away? I have an easy solution for you: just release the files, and let everyone see for themselves how you did nothing wrong.

I mean, you’re innocent right? and innocent people don’t generally suppress the very files that prove how innocent they are, am I right?

am I right?

here’s another thing Pam Bondi did yesterday: she declassified a bunch of FBI files on the 1968 assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.

look at us, releasin’ files. we’re so fucking transparent. who can accuse us of covering up anything? that was the intended message behind this bit of Kabuki.

you know who wasn’t impressed? Bernice King, MLK’s daughter.

in a world of Mad Kings, be a Bernice King.

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