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Quote of the Day

Donald Trump is a carnival man, an entertainer, a buffoon. His fans are white, scared, and angry. He will never be elected—not so long as minorities, liberals and educated people vote, but he has certainly exposed the ugly underbelly of conservatives in America today.” ~ Stephen King, author

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Like A Tweeker High on Meth, Furiously Masturbating…

…but just can’t cum:

A Florida congressman has introduced a new bill that would forbid federal agencies from purchasing Apple products until the company cooperates with the federal court order to assist the unlocking of a seized iPhone 5C associated with the San Bernardino terrorist attack.

In a statement released on Thursday, Rep. David Jolly (R-Fla.) blasted Apple.

“Taxpayers should not be subsidizing a company that refuses to cooperate in a terror investigation that left 14 Americans dead on American soil,” he said. “Who did the terrorist talk to? Who did he message with? Did he go to a safe house? Is there information on the phone that might prevent a future attack on US soil? Following the horrific events of September 11, 2001, every citizen and every company was willing to do whatever it took to side with law enforcement and defeat terror. It’s time Apple shows that same conviction to further protect our nation today.”

Last month, Apple was given a controversial court order to create a customized firmware that would enable investigators to brute force a seized iPhone 5C and get past its passcode. Apple has vowed to fight the order in court, and the company is set to appear before a judge later this month.

At least for now, Jolly’s bill is unlikely to advance very far in a Congress that can barely agree on the time of day; GovTrack gives it a 1 percent chance of passage.

[Source]

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Pluto

The images of Pluto that are still steadily trickling in from NASA’s New Horizons probe are among the most amazing extraterrestrial images I have seen during the entire course of my life. I mean, just look at that! How can you not be in awe?

Yes, images from Mars still fire my imagination at the possibility of finding current or past life on the surface, but let’s face it: except for the color and the obvious lack of vegetation, it looks for the most part like the American southwest. The pictures that were beamed back from Jupiter and it’s moons were beautiful, and in the case of Europa and Io in particular, raised more questions than they answered. The images that have come back from Cassini during the twelve years (gawd, I feel old) it’s been in orbit around Saturn and its moons are spectacular, even artistic—but so numerous I can’t even begin to scratch the surface to see them all. The photos of Uranus and Neptune that came back from Voyager 2 in the 1980s hinted that something catastrophic happened in the outer solar system in the distant past that knocked one of them on its side, but again they only raised more questions than they answered.

But none of these pictures have fired my imagination the way the images from Pluto have. Maybe it’s because until last summer, Pluto at best was nothing more than a tiny, blurry blob in the best telescopes. Or maybe it’s because it turned out to be something completely different from what anyone was expecting. Maybe its because the pictures added more evidence to the idea that something big happened in the outer reaches of our solar system in the distant past. (The fact that Pluto is geologically active—flying in the face of everything we thought we knew about the outer solar system—and with its moon Charon bears the unmistakable scars of having collided with something tells me it’s not as boring and unchanging at 40AU from the sun as we’d believed.) All I know is that these alien landscapes are filling me a with a sense of absolute wonder that precious few others have done, and it saddens me no end to think that no more probes will be visiting that tiny, fascinating world in my lifetime, much less that I will ever live to see human explorers walk its surface.

That being said, when I was a kid spending summers wearing down my box of 64 Crayola crayons to nubs by drawing the planets again and again hoping to get them just right, I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that humanity would actually be visiting any of them—much less all of them during my lifetime—and for that I feel extremely lucky.

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Kind Of Obvious When You Think About It

From the Washington Post:

“The hunt for extraterrestrial life—of any kind, including lowly, long-dead microbes—is lofty enough. But the hunt for intelligent civilizations that could be looking for us in return? It’s even more of a long shot. In a new paper published in the journal Astrobiology, researchers present one possible strategy for finding these theoretical beings: Assume that they’re searching for us in exactly the same way we’re searching for them.

Humans detect exoplanets (planets beyond our solar system) by observing their transits in front of their host stars. In essence, space telescopes, such as the Kepler, can watch the way a star twinkles and blinks and determine whether a planet is regularly passing in front of it.

That brightening and dimming can be used to calculate the size of the planet and its distance from the star. Scientists can also figure out what kind of atmosphere the planet has based on the way the molecules surrounding it scatter the light of its sun. Based on these factors (and the kind of star in the system) scientists can make educated guesses about what sort of body the planet is—and whether it could hold liquid water.

NASA now estimates that there are more than 1 billion ‘Earth-like’ planets in our galaxy alone. It’s true that we have absolutely no idea what intelligent life on another planet might look like, but looking for life that evolved on a planet like our own seems like a safe start. After all, we know it happened at least once.

The new study suggests expanding that approach: What if aliens didn’t just evolve on an Earth-like planet, but evolved into the sort of beings who would use planetary transits to go looking for other Earth-like planets?

In other words, what if the aliens have their own Kepler?

If that’s the case, then those aliens would be within Earth’s own ‘transit zone’—the thin sliver of space from which an observer could see our planet’s passage in front of the sun.

“It’s impossible to predict whether extraterrestrials use the same observational techniques as we do,” study co-author René Heller of the Institute for Astrophysics in Göttingen, Germany, said in a statement. ‘But they will have to deal with the same physical principles as we do, and Earth’s solar transits are an obvious method to detect us.’

In theory, we may be able to catch a planet that had already sent us some kind of message long, long ago. And once we knew what direction to listen in, we’d stand a better chance of capturing it.

So how much does that narrow down our potential search? A lot, but probably not enough: There are likely at least 10,000 star systems with planets worth checking out in that region. And in 2010, researchers turned a telescope array on the transit zone for a few days just to check for any obvious alien signals. Like most proposed techniques in the hunt for intelligent life, this idea—while intriguing—is unlikely to drop an alien civilization into our lap.

But it doesn’t hurt to look.”

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I Almost Didn’t Recognize This

…which is surprising considering how much tenant improvement work we did in the small, 5-story building at the center of the frame over the span of the 8 years I worked for H&M in San Francisco. And then I realized that I’ve nearly been gone from The City as long as the total number of years I lived there and now I’m wondering how much longer 30 Van Ness is for this world since it’s now being surrounded by newer, shinier neighbors.

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EXACTLY.

From Homer:

So Justice Scalia died and people are blabbering that we should show his dead corpse some respect because he was reportedly brilliant. At first I didn’t think I should say anything, but then seeing people clamoring about how I am supposed to feel sadness and respect for that narcissistic psychopath, I changed my mind. Someone I have been blogging friends with for over a decade unfriended me on Facebook. I actually didn’t care.

As someone else said, Scalia showed no respect to large numbers of living human beings. He openly hated LGBT people, African-Americans, mentally disabled people, and women (I am sure I am missing a few groups). If you weren’t straight, white, Christian, and male, you were to be despised. Sorry, but I am not interested in respecting someone who feels that way. I didn’t respect him while he was alive (I loathed him), and certainly not going to respect his embalmed body.

I believe people have one life to live. That’s it. I do not go out of my way to make other people miserable. I could care less if you believe in some sky fairy or another. But if you try to force me to live my life following your particular set of myths, I do not feel inclined to be nice to you. Scalia was like that, he wanted everybody to be Catholic like him. He was like a little boy, having tantrums because he often did not get his way (oh his judicial dissents were so wonderful! puke). I’m glad he lived long enough to see gay couples getting happily married.

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In Other Words, Keep It In Your Own Damn Pants

“Look, if you believe in God, that’s a-ok with me, and the way in which you choose to believe doesn’t concern me in the least, unless you try and make your faith the law of the land for others, too. If your faith gives you comfort, and it helps you in your efforts to become the best possible version of yourself, then I have no issue with that. Some of you just need to remember on occasion that your neighbor is just as deeply attached to his faith as you are to yours, and that your chance to convert him is about as good as his chance to convert you. Religion is an intensely private matter, and if you want to enjoy your religious freedom, you have to grant it to others as well, regardless of how much you disagree with their theology, or how much you’d like to see them saved. In the end, if you believe there’s a judgment due, let God make it, and don’t assume that the Creator and Mover of the Universe needs your help.” ~ The Munchkin Wrangler

I’ve never seen my own beliefs so eloquently put into words. Bravo!

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Regurgitating a Meme

Funny how so many of my answers have changed from the last time I did this.

  1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? The driver’s side floor mat and the windshield sun screen.
  2. When was the last time you threw up? Too many years ago to remember.
  3. What’s your favorite curse word? Jeeezus Christ!
  4. Name 3 people who made you smile today. Ben. He’s the only person I’ve really had any real interaction with.
  5. What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning? Trying in vain to go back to sleep.
  6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? At Walgreens picking up some stuff.
  7. Have you ever been to a strip club? No.
  8. What is the last thing you said aloud? Black tea…and a chocolate chip muffin, please.
  9. What is the best ice cream flavor? I really don’t eat ice cream much anymore.
  10. What was the last thing you had to drink? See #8 above.
  11. What are you wearing right now? My “Incredibelchers” T-shirt and jeans.
  12. What was the last thing you ate? See #8 above.
  13. Have you bought any new clothes this week? No.
  14. Where were you last? See #6 above.
  15. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Sporting event? Hahaha!
  16. Who won? See #15.
  17. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message to? John.
  18. Ever go camping? Only when I was a child.
  19. What song are you listening to? Something being played by an awful live band at the coffee house. And I wouldn’t call it listening; it’s more like trying desperately to ignore.
  20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Don’t drink soda.
  21. What did your last text message say? Maybe you’ll share?
  22. Who’re your best friends? I don’t have any friends who stand out more than others. They’re all my best friends.
  23. What are you doing tomorrow? Starting a new job.
  24. Where is your mom right now? Her ashes are in an underground vault in Appleton, Wiscosin.
  25. Look to your right, what do you see? Ben working on his laptop.
  26. What color is your watch? Don’t wear a watch.
  27. What do you think of when you think of Australia? The old Bear Scans Brisbane website and the two owners who “visited” me in San Francisco.
  28. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Nope.
  29. Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through? Go in.
  30. What is your favorite number? Favorite number? Are you serious?
  31. Do you have a dog? Yes.
  32. Last person you talked to on the phone? My recruiter.
  33. Have you met anyone famous? No, but I swear to the FSM that Mark Hamill once flirted with me on the F-Train in SF.
  34. Any plans today? Grocery shopping, dinner with Ben and one of Ben’s colleagues.
  35. How many states have you lived in? 3.
  36. Ever go to college? Yes.
  37. Where are you right now? In a state of disbelief that I’m actually doing this. Physically? Copperstar Coffee.
  38. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? See #19 above.
  39. Are you in love with someone right now? Yes, and for the last seven wonderful years.
  40. Are you allergic to anything? Lotsa stuff.
  41. Favorite pair of shoes? No.
  42. Are you jealous of anyone? No
  43. Is anyone jealous of you? Not that I know of…
  44. Do any of your friends have children? Yes, but seriously…who the fuck cares?
  45. Do you eat healthy? I try. Except when I don’t.
  46. What do you usually do during the day? The last six months have been spent online looking for work/blogging/goofing off, watching television, listening to music, playing with the dogs, mopping up dog pee, and running errands. Occasionally I get out to make photos.
  47. Do you hate anyone right now? Hate is such a strong word, but the Donald Trump comes to mind.
  48. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? I prefer “hi” or “hey.”
  49. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? No doubt older than you.
  50. Have you ever been to Six Flags? No.
  51. How did you get one of your scars (if you have any)? The one on my leg is from ripping my thigh open with a staple on an upholstered rocking chair as a kid. The crater over my right eyebrow is from a chicken pox blister that I picked off when I was six. The one on my left index finger resulted from attempting to use an X-acto blade incorrectly as an adult.

I’m now more convinced than ever that these things are written by pre-teen girls who own pink cell phones and whose rooms are decorated with stuffed unicorns.

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Some Sunday Fun

An oldie but a goodie.

You are in a band. Your band is about to release their first album. Follow these directions to build it.

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random.
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3.
The tail (last three or four words) of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/.
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use the graphics program of your choice to put them together into your first album.

5. Go to the random title generator site and come up with the names of the 12 tracks! (I added a bonus track because that’s just the way I am.)

Tracklist:

Stripped Search
The Captured Sky
Boyfriend of Memory
The Secret of Fire
Crying in the Streams
Obsession of the Servant
Green Rings
The Kissing Storms
World of Search
The Flames’s Gate
The Soul of the Barmaid
Evil in the Child
Red Hunter
The Playful Eyes

And the fabulous, never before released bonus track:

Luck in the Winter

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