Well, I’ve Gone From My First Thought In The Morning Being, “Is He Dead Yet?” To “Has WWIII Started?”

oh look, Sundowning Grandpa Bloodthirst made a boom-boom — only this time, it wasn’t in his pants.

fucking hell. it looks like we have no choice but to wade in and parse this mess — but before we do, I have to point out for the gazillionth time that none of this is normal. it’s not normal for a president to break the news to the world that he’s bombed the shit out of another country via a post on his failing shithole app. all of this is off-the-charts batshit.

nonetheless…

We have completed our very successful attack on the three Nuclear sites in Iran, including Fordow, Natanz, and Esfahan.

have we? Donny says this attack was successful — but two days ago he was telling us that Chinese bots altered vote counts in voting machines in 2020, and that he really won in a landslide. so we know that his grasp on reality is tenuous at best. also, there’s that thing he does where he willfully lies about everything.

All planes are now outside of Iran air space. A full payload of BOMBS was dropped on the primary site, Fordow.

BOMBS is in all caps, because of course it is. our toddler-in-chief is so fucking pumped right now to have RAINED DOWN HELL on another country.

All planes are safely on their way home. Congratulations to our great American Warriors. There is not another military in the World that could have done this.

yes, this is absolutely true, that the United States is the only country on Earth with a military capable of transporting bombs in a jet and then dropping them. USA! USA!

NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE!

really? right after starting a war? for fuck’s sake, even George Orwell, wherever he is, is rolling his eyes and miming jerk-off motions right now.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

this again. this bizarre sign-off with which President Yap Yap now ends all his kingly pronouncements.

‘thank you for your attention to this matter’ is how you close an annoyed email to your neighbor whose dog keeps shitting on your lawn. it’s not how you close a social media post in which you gleefully announce that you just destabilized the entire world. you already have our attention, fucknut.

none of this had to happen.

we had a treaty with Iran that they were abiding to — and our game show host president tore it to pieces because he was jealous of a black man’s accomplishments.

also, none of this is legal.

“The President’s disastrous decision to bomb Iran without authorization is a grave violation of the Constitution and Congressional War Powers.”

sure, but don’t expect House Speaker Limpdick to do his job and claw back Congress’ power to wage war. he’s down with all this shit — and even if he weren’t, he’s too cowardly and impotent to stand up to Dear Leader.

oh, and a special shout-out to all the cultists who voted for Donny because he promised NO NEW WARS. check out what everyone’s favorite misshapen garden gnome posted last August.

how’d that shit work out for you, Chuck-o?

lest we forget, Donny also ran on not getting eaten by sharks, or electrocuted by boat batteries, so what the fuck — do we have to worry about that now, too?

so, what happens now? fuck if I know. forecasting any of this shit is above my pay grade — but Robert Reich has a really good write-up.

Reich’s main takeaway:

He’s probably getting decent advice about what’s good for Trump but not about what’s good for America or the world. It’s an inevitable consequence of purging from the government anyone more loyal to the United States than to him. Besides, Trump only listens to information he wants to hear.

Olivia Troye was Homeland Security and Counterterrorism advisor to Mike Pence during the Mad King’s first reign. she probably knows Donny as well as anyone else. here’s what she has to say.

“Trump dismantled diplomacy, gutted the national security apparatus & pulled out of the Iran nuclear deal, decisions that helped destabilize the region. Now, it’s all bravado & this attack on Iran is likely to lead to a protracted conflict. This is provocation through chaos. This isn’t a ‘win.’”

it’s not a win, but that isn’t stopping the Mad King from claiming it is.

here’s historian Timothy Snyder to remind us that nobody really knows shit about shit.

pay particular attention to numbers four and five:

4. Wars are unpredictable
5. Wars are easy to start and hard to stop

all I know is if I were looking to successfully navigate a foreign policy crisis, the last people on the planet I would pick would be the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse.

on the left is Mister Heartbeat Away, who … what the fuck even is his skill set? does anyone know? on the right is the Fox News dunk-tank clown who is apparently trying very hard not to pass out, or piss himself. standing next to him is the total cipher whose job is to say yes to everything — no matter how crazypants. and at the podium is the narcoleptic fart factory who had to be talked out of nuking a hurricane — more than once.

I wouldn’t trust any of these shitweasels to look out the window and give me a straight answer as to whether or not it was raining, much less how the prosecution of a war is going.

the hubris is off the charts with these halfwits. their arms are probably sore this morning from all the high-fiving they did last night.

it’s going to be this shit all over again.

on the left is Mister Heartbeat Away, who … what the fuck even is his skill set? does anyone know? on the right is the Fox News dunk-tank clown who is apparently trying very hard not to pass out, or piss himself. standing next to him is the total cipher whose job is to say yes to everything — no matter how crazypants. and at the podium is the narcoleptic fart factory who had to be talked out of nuking a hurricane — more than once.

I wouldn’t trust any of these shitweasels to look out the window and give me a straight answer as to whether or not it was raining, much less how the prosecution of a war is going.

the hubris is off the charts with these halfwits. their arms are probably sore this morning from all the high-fiving they did last night.

it’s going to be this shit all over again.

does anyone expect Donny’s Confederation of Clueless Sewer Clowns to do any better? of course they won’t.

remember the sage words of Timothy Snyder.

5. Wars are easy to start and hard to stop

I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing this a lot as time goes on.

right now, as I’m writing this at 9:30 on Saturday morning, DUI Pete is already taking a victory lap.

and Iran’s state media is all nuh-uh, the fuck you did.

“Iran’s state TV reported that the country had evacuated personnel from the three nuclear sites in advance. According to the broadcaster’s political deputy, Iran had relocated its nuclear stockpiles from those sites to secure locations.”

again, just remember what Timothy Snyder wisely counseled us.

1. Many things reported with confidence in the first hours and days will turn out not to be true

there is one thing I know for certain: we will not be able to depend on the worthless scribblers of America’s corporate-controlled media to do anything other than cheerlead.

rah rah rah! sis boom bah!

and finally, I must apologize — because apparently, this is all my fault. last night, around 7pm, I mentioned to Ms Spouse that I had no idea what I was going to write about today — and the universe was all ha ha, fuck you.

going forward, I will keep such musings to myself.

 

 

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“I’m Sorry Dave. I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That.”

FRom Tengrain:

Well, this little item in Axios’ email thingie yesterday kept me awake last night: AI would airlock us, given the chance, and I for one welcome our Fancy Autocomplete Overlords.

AI models are increasingly willing to evade safeguards, resort to deception and even attempt to steal corporate secrets in test scenarios, Axios’ Ina Fried writes from new Anthropic research.

“Models that would normally refuse harmful requests sometimes chose to blackmail, assist with corporate espionage, and even take some more extreme actions, when these behaviors were necessary to pursue their goals,” Anthropic’s report states.

???? In one extreme scenario, the company even found that many models were willing to cut off the oxygen supply of a worker in a server room if that employee was an obstacle and the system was at risk of being shut down.

Even specific instructions to preserve human life and avoid blackmail didn’t eliminate the risk that the models would engage in such behavior.

Anthropic stressed that these examples occurred in controlled simulations, not in real-world AI use.

Again, all algorithms have all the flaws and biases of the people who write them. So this alarming development reflects the TechBro culture more than the tech itself.

That said, the only Business Case scenario  for AI is to replace workers. (Business Case is MBA-speak and means before committing time/money/resources to a project, how can the company use [something] to make a profit.) There is no money-making use for AI except to replace workers.

And in related AI news, Space Karen wants a do-over (now that Elmo and the Incels has stolen all our data):

He didn’t like the answers it was giving, so he’s starting over.

[image or embed]

— Ron Filipkowski (@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social) June 21, 2025 at 3:36 AM

You can read the Anthropic report here.


I welcome our robot overlords. They can’t fuck things up any more than we have already.

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All That Glitters Is…

From Tengrain:

…solid gold.

Oh, it would be terrible if anyone glitter bombed ICE Agents, for shame!, but…

@brookeperegoy ICE agents are upset about being glitter bombed! ✨️ #ice #glitterbomb ♬ shine on – choppy.wav

…we stand with the first comment on that TikTok, who warns us what a shame it would be if… well, read it for yourselves:

Isn’t that terrible? Don’t do that. I beg you: don’t tell others to do that, just like the commenter said. It would be terrible if anyone went to Blicks and bought glitter and did that; don’t be that person. I beg you: don’t tell everyone you know about this.

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Saw Hello To Sophie

The newest member of our family.

Sammy only left us six months ago, so this was a little sooner than we had planned, but this girl literally fell into our laps and it was love at first sight.  Frankly I think Sammy had a hand in sending her our way; it was like, “Stop mourning me and get on with your lives! I’m fine and we’ll see each other again. Here’s a new friend for you!”

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Donnie Two Weeks

Click above to read the whole thing. It’s worth it!

This is what he does. He bluffs. He stalls. He blue-balls the nation with performative nonsense and calls it leadership. He governs like a sweaty improv comic on Ambien—no script, no sense, just vibes and screaming. Every policy is a trailer. Every disaster is an opportunity to roll out merch. He treats war declarations like cliffhangers: Will we bomb Tehran? Will we not? Tune in next week on “Who Wants to Start World War III?”—brought to you by MyPillow and reverse mortgages for dogs.

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The Most Ridiculous Thing To Not Come Out Of The Orange Clown’s Anus Mouth In Weeks

“The United States has an oversoul.”

Listen…I enjoy these women, especially Susan. They’re very entertaining and have often provided me a glimmer of—if totally groundless and unsubstantiated—hope in this dystopian hellscape we find ourselves in. But after they (and in fact, many others of the same ilk) predicted without question a total and complete Harris victory leading up to November’s elections and were proven…inaccurate wrong, it reminded me how all this psychic/tarot/astrological woowoo bullshit is just that: bullshit. It’s no more rooted in reality than any other religious belief. There’s a reason they often remind us in their videos that they are “for entertainment purposes only.” (Something Fox News consistently fails to do.)

But in that regard, the YouTube psychics are entertaining. On the whole (or at least the ones I watch) are all staunch lefties and as I said, they’re a calming voice amid this shit-storm, and I appreciate them for that.

Another woman in this same vein who I’d love to have tea with and just shoot the breeze for an afternoon is “Dr. Leena, Sociologist, from Down Under.”

It’s all bullshit, but it’s entertaining buillshit.

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Apparently…

…you can’t say FUCK TRUMP on Instagram! Who knew?

But seriously, I posted this to my Insta and was immediately logged out with an error message saying “Your account is suspected of auto-posting.”

So I logged back in and attempted to add a comment to the post (which was still there) saying, “Apparently you can’t say FUCK TRUMP on Instagram.”

It logged me out again with the same error message.

Then I asked ChatGPT to create a photorealistic version of the comic. It too balked. “Violation of Terms of Service” or some such nonsense.

I submitted it again without the FUCK TRUMP and it had no problem creating the image.

Fuck you, ChatGPT. I added the text back with Photoshop.

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Friday Madness From Jeff Tiedrich


 

here’s an awesome true story from American history.

on December 1, 1863, Abe Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, granting freedom to all enslaved black people in the Confederate states.

now, I hear you asking, hey Uncle Jeff, did the citizens of Texas goI guesswe should tell the people we’ve been enslaving that they’re now free’? hell no, they did not. this is Texas we’re talking about. they were all ‘fuck that guy. Lincoln can eat an entire bag of dicks if he thinks we’re giving up that sweet, sweet free labor.’

fast forward to two-and-a-half years later — June 19th, 1865 — when Union Major General Gordon Granger rode into Galveston, Texas, pulled out his gun, and declared ‘this shit ends now.’

and so the white folks of Texas were finally forced to be all ‘oh hey, black people, you’ll never guess what happened.’

in 2021, Juneteenth became a federal holiday. Republicans hate Juneteenth, because it was signed into law by Joe Biden — and everything Sleepy Brandon does is automatically bad. so it was only natural that yesterday, racists in America continued their multi-hundred-year unbroken streak of being shitty to black people.

let’s start right at the top, with the Bigot-in-Chief — because let’s face it: everyone was just waiting for him to do a racism.

it was like that Simpsons meme come to life, if you replace ‘stupid’ with ‘racist’

even the White House press corps were all c’mon, Karoline, throw us a bone. we know he’s gonna do it. just tell us when.

reporter: “it’s Juneteenth. does the president plan to commemorate the holiday at all or make any comment?”
Leavitt: “I’m not tracking his signature on a proclamation today. I know this is a federal holiday, I want to thank all of you for showing up to work. we are certainly here. we are working 24/7 right now.”
second reporter: “will he mark Juneteenth in any way, today, or with an event later on?”
Leavitt: “I just answered that question for you.”

take note of how Ms. Lie-vitt phrased her evasive non-answer. ‘I want to thank all of you for showing up to work (unlike all those lazy black people who stayed home).’

that’s gonna be a recurring theme, because when Donny — after somehow managing to remain quiet for most of the day — finally farted out a post, he picked up Karoline’s ball and ran with it.

“Too many non-working holidays in America. It is costing our Country $BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to keep all of these businesses closed. The workers don’t want it either! Soon we’ll end up having a holiday for every once working day of the year. It must change if we are going to, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

awesome. this guy — President Golfcart McChucklefuck — thinks we have too many holidays.

hey, let’s check President Golfcart’s official schedule for today.

oh look, Mister Too Many Holidays is ditching work again so he can fuck off at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.

I guess it’s just a coincidence that Donny chose Juneteenth as the day to whine about why do we have so many days off.


here’s how Vice President Couchfuck McGee commemorated the occasion: by being both racist and deeply offensive.

(actually, this interview is from earlier this week, but hey, close enough.)

podcaster Theo Von: “I’ll tell you this. I heard that Frederick Douglass was gay.”

JD Vance: [bursts out laughing]

Von: “I’ve heard it from four people.”

JD Vance: “[continues to laugh] where do you go to find the people who tell you that Frederick Douglass is gay? you must hang out in more interesting places than I do.”

Von: “that’s why he wanted to free all those men, ’cause he was having trouble meeting anybody.”

Vance: “[laughs] we’re going to talk to the Smithsonian about putting up an exhibit on that, and Theo Von, you can be the narrator for this new [laughs] understanding of the history of Frederick Douglass.”

Von: “but when you think about it, though — he seemed awfully interested in gettin’ them fellas off work early.”

just a couple of vile fuckwads, sittin’ around and talkin’.

no biggie, am I right? it’s just the Vice President of the United States, lauging it up as some podcast yutz describes the emancipation of the enslaved as ‘getting off work early’ so that Frederick Douglass can meet someone. JD Vance laughs it up, like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard, and suggests the Smithsonian should have an exhibit about it. what the actual fuck?

look how comfortable Couchfuck is, talking to this bigoted bozo. this is clearly his kind of guy.

this is a jerk who, if you put him in a donut shop, can’t fake a human response to save his life. he’s all HELLO, FELLOW PERSON. HA HA. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SELLING DONUTS? HA HA. THAT’S GREAT.

but stick him in a room with a racist, and suddenly he’s Mister Personality.


now let’s check in with the Fox News dunk-tank clown. oh look, Piss Drunk Pete’s official response to Juneteenth is to stick his fingers in his ears and go LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU. he’s just going to pretend it isn’t happening.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s office requested “a passive approach to Juneteenth messaging” for the holiday on Thursday commemorating the end of slavery, according to an email obtained by Rolling Stone. The news was relayed by the Pentagon’s Office of the Chief of Public Affairs, which said it wasn’t planning to publish Juneteenth-related content online.

do you think ‘pretend it’s not happening’ is what SecDef Kegstand said to all the woman he ahem allegedly assaulted?


now let’s watch as the Libertarian Party lengthens their 54-year-long unbroken streak of complete irrelevance.

“Juneteenth is egalitarianism and communism. We will interpret anyone who positively celebrates Juneteenth holiday as admitting to being a communist (egalitarian).”

do words even have meanings any more?

I googled egalitarianism just to make sure I had the definition right.

“the doctrine that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities.”

wait — isn’t ‘all people are equal’ one of the founding principles of the United States? so how the fuck is that communism?

let’s not even bother trying to figure that one out. let’s just move on to misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. he’s been whining about why do those people get a holiday for years.

“You should be working today. Not taking today off for a CRT-inspired federal holiday that competes with July 4th.”

this is a common moan about Juneteenth from the worst fucking people on the planet — that it somehow ‘competes’ with July 4.

how?

is there seriously anyone biting into a burger or watching fireworks on July 4, and going oh come on, we just did this two weeks ago. what’s even the point?

if there is, I want to meet this person so I can smack them on their dumb-ass what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you face.

this year, Gnomey Chuck’s outdone himself. not content to just bellyache about when do white people get a day, he’s decided to compose some incomprehensible screed-length gobbledygook that supposedly proves that Junteenth somehow ‘displaces’ July 4th. or something like that. who on earth has the time — or desire — to parse this twaddle?

Christ on a crispy cornflake, that’s a lot of words just to say ‘I’m a racist.’


here’s how a real president commemorates Juneteenth.

Joe Biden gave a speech last night at the African Methodist Episcopal Church in Galveston, Texas.

oe doesn’t have his own vulgar flying bordello to jet around in, so he flew commercial, and posed for selfies with his fellow passengers.

don’t you miss having a human being for president?


here are your heroes of the day: CNN’s Kaitlin Collins and — holy shit! — The New York Times.

after it was announced that Donny would decide ‘in two weeks’ whether or not to attack Iran, Collins mocked the shit out of that ludicrous claim by putting together a two-and-a-half minute long supercut of all the times Donny’s used ‘two weeks’ as a dodge to cover up the fact that he never has any plan at all.

the ‘two weeks’ claim is so worn-out and laughable by now that even The New York Times couldn’t avoid committing a journalism.

Two weeks for Mr. Trump can mean something, or nothing at all. It is both a yes and a no. It is delaying while at the same time scheduling. It is not an objective unit of time, it is a subjective unit of time. It is completely divorced from any sense of chronology. It simply means later. But later can also mean never. Sometimes.

Donny is in way over his head, has no fucking clue what he’s doing, and has been using ‘two weeks’ for literal years as a handy way to change the subjuct to anything else. it’s nice to see that the press might finally be growing weary of being treated like annoying children who ask too many questions.

more like this, please, journalists.

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Thursday Madness from Jeff Tiedrich


hey, everyone! let’s play Wheel of Moron. here’s how it goes: you take the stupidest fucking imbecile to have ever loaded a diaper in the Oval Office. you make sure he has no impulse control, no understanding of how geopolitics works, and — most importantly — absolutely no understanding of how consequences work.

you take this fuckwit, and you put him in charge of a nuclear arsenal.

and that’s it! ready to play? here we go.

Kaitlin Collins: “does that mean you haven’t made a decision yet on what to do [about attacking Iran]?”
Donny: “I have ideas as to what to do, but I haven’t made a final. I like to make the final decision one second before it’s due.”

awesome! America’s Game-Show-Host-in-Chief is going to spin the Wheel of Moron, and no one has any clue where it will land — not even the game show host.

what could possibly go wrong?

it’s Dick Nixon’s ‘madman theory,’ except in this case it’s not a theory — it’s real life.

when Nixon was president, there was this fun thing his foreign policy stooges would do: they’d ring up their commie adversaries and go ‘look, our president is fucking nuts. we’re trying like hell to keep his finger off the button, but we really can’t control him. he’ll nuke you in a hot second and not think twice about it, so maybe you ought to give him what he wants.’

I shit you not.

The madman theory is a political theory commonly associated with the foreign policy of U.S. president Richard Nixon and his administration, who tried to make the leaders of hostile communist bloc countries think Nixon was irrational and volatile so that they would avoid provoking the U.S. in fear of an unpredictable response.

spoiler alert: it didn’t work. Nixon was a paranoid criminal, but he wasn’t insane — and no foreign leader bought his act.

but oh, look: the Madman Theory isn’t a theory any more. now we have an actual madman in the Oval Office, and Iran better watch out, because no one know what the fuck he’s going to do. even he claims he doesn’t know — not until he spins the Wheel of Moron and sees where it lands.

check out the very next collection of word-like sounds that seeped out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth during that presser, because they’re fucking doozies.

“a lotta wars there was no reason for. you look right up there, I don’t know, you see the Declaration of Independence and I say, I wonder if, you know, the Civil War, it seemed to me maybe that could have been solved without losing 600,000-plus people.”

wait, Donny looks at the Declaration of Independence and it makes him think of the Civil War — which he then claims there was no reason for, and that he would have negotiated his way out of it? how does anyone go from ‘we the people think having a king fucking sucks’ to ‘gee, if only Lincoln could have met Jeff Davis halfway?’

fucking hell, Donny still has no idea what’s actually in the Declaration of Independence, does he? all he knows is famous document! America! liberty!

this whole ‘Civil War was unnecessary’ claim is not a new hallucination for Donny. he’s been gibbering about it for years, that if he had been The Great Railsplitter, he would have negotiated his way out of the Civil War — which is basically a big ball of what the fuck are you even talking about?

how would that have happened? seriously, what do you put on the bargaining table when the issue at stake is the right to own people?

‘ok, you Confederates can enslave black people on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and every other Saturday. the rest of the time they’re free. do we have a deal?’

let’s get real. if Donny had been prez in 1862, he would have been the Taco Railsplitter, and the Confederacy would live on to this very day. all Jeff Davis would have had to do was stop answering the phone (ok, telegraph) — and boom, Donny would have folded.

and we’d all be speaking German, too, because Donny Delano Roosetrump would have fucked up World War Two.


after that fucknuttery, we could really use a palate cleanser. at a Senate hearing yesterday, Tammy Duckworth went ape-shit on Secretary of Defense Kegstand. let’s watch as an actual combat veteran eviscerates an incompetent poser.

“I believe the Secretary of Defense has admitted that the one billion dollar mission that he led against the Houthis, who do not have a navy, has not restored the transitive US flag’s commercial vessels through the Red Sea, and in fact has resulted in the loss of two F-18 Hornets to the tune of 60 million dollars apiece, as well as — I believe the last count was seven Reaper drones to the tune of another two hundred million dollars. you are blowing through money like my fellow cadets and I did in our first liberty after basic camp. luckily, I didn’t end up with a questionable tattoo.”

“your failures, Mr. Secretary, since you’ve taken office, have been staggering. you sent classified operational information over Signal to chest-thump in front of your wife, who by the way has no security clearance, risking service member lives in the process. you blew the one billion dollar fight against the Houthis, who again, has no navy, and yet, you lost all of those aircraft. you’ve created such a hostile command environment that no one wants to serve as your chief of staff, or work with you in other senior DOD leadership roles.”

“but what we should all be talking about, more than all of this, is that you have an unjustified, un-American misuse of the military in American cities, pulling resources and attention away from core missions to the detriment of the country.”

we absolutely fucking thank you for your service, Senator.

but wait — the Democratic Senators weren’t finished using SecDef Kegstand for a chew toy. here’s Michigan’s Elissa Slotkin.

Slotkin: “have you given the order to be able to shoot at unarmed protesters in any way? I’m just asking the question. don’t laugh. the whole country— and by the way, my colleagues across the aisle—”

Kegstand: “what is that based on? what evidence would you have?”

Slotkin: “it is based on Donald Trump giving that order to your predecessor, to a Republican Secretary of Defense, who I give a lot of credit to, because he didn’t accept the order. he had more guts and balls than you, because he said ‘I’m not going to send in any uniformed military to do something that I know in my gut isn’t right.’ he was asked to shoot at their legs. he wrote that in his book. it’s not hearsay. so your poo-pooing of this, it just shows you don’t understand who we are as a country. who we are. and all of my colleagues across the aisle — especially the ones who served — should want an apolitical military, and not want citizens to be scared of their own military. I loved the military. I served my whole life, so I’m worried about you tainting it. have you given the order? have you given the order that they can use lethal force? I want the answer to be ‘no.’ please tell me it’s ‘no.’ have you given the order? ”

Kegstand: “Senator, I’d be careful what you read in books, and believing it. except for the Bible.”

‘except for the Bible.’ what an smug, arrogant asshole.

get back in the dunk-tank, clown.


now let’s go out with a literal bang. last night, the Space Nazi was running some tests on his latest janky rocket, and

yup, it blowed up good. it blowed up real good.

have a great Juneteenth, everyone. don’t get blowed up.

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