Category: Uncategorized

Posted on

Things I Say While I’m Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing? What. The Fuck. Are you doing.

Me: NICE BLINKER, ASSHOLE!

Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going the speed limit? WHY?

Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Me: Shit, is that a cop? No.

Me: Shit, THAT is a cop.

1 comments

Posted on

Movie Review

While I am not a big fan of Tom Cruise, Oblivion was surprisingly good. In fact, I’d go so far as to give it an 8 out of 10. It’s one of those films that left me thinking about it hours later.

As many reviews have stated, the visuals are absolutely stunning. In a lot of films, CGI often overpowers the storytelling, but in this case it it simply blended seamlessly into it. And while I hate to admit it, Mr. Cruise is a decent enough actor that I can ignore the Crazytown bubbling beneath the surface of his real life to accept the character he’s playing as believable.

Damn, I want that house in the sky. (And of course the vehicle required to go to and from the place.)

I also have to applaud the storyline. Yes, it used a dozen well-worn tropes of science fiction, but combined them in a way that still seemed fresh, and while there were a few plot holes left unanswered (exactly how did that mountain paradise escape destruction?) they were minor in comparison to some other recent big-budget highly anticipated sci-fi I’ve seen (cough, Prometheus, cough).

I didn’t see the plot twist coming, which is always a good thing as far as I’m concerned. Surprise me, Hollywood. Make me walk out of a theater not feeling like I’d just fed fifteen dollars into a shredder.

It was also a very pleasant surprise that when the true nature of the invaders was finally revealed, it wasn’t a hoard of rubber-masked applied-prosthetic bipeds.

And the OST by M83 is pretty damn good too.

 

1 comments

Posted on

I’ll Pray for You

From Rosa Rubicondior:

What the Pious really mean.

I’ll pray for you because:

  • If I tell the truth and say I hate you people won’t think I’m a kind, caring person.
  • I want you to think I have some power over you that you can’t do anything about.
  • I like to think I have some power over you that you can’t do anything about.
  • I like to think I have an invisible friend who gets those who won’t agree with me about everything.
  • I can’t be bothered to learn stuff but I want people to think I’m better than you in some way.
  • I want you to feel guilty about beating me in an argument because I should be allowed to win every time even though I can’t be bothered to learn stuff.
  • You won’t agree with me so I’ll try threatening you with my really powerful imaginary friend.
  • I want people to think I’m religious because I’m hoping to get away with people thinking I’m a person they can trust.
  • I can’t counter your argument so I want to threaten you whilst making other people think I’m your morally superior.
  • I want my friends to be impressed with my smugly self-satisfied piety.
  • I want people to think I’m so special I have a close personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe who makes my wishes come true.
  • It costs me nothing and is much easier than doing something practical to help.
  • Pretending to be other peoples’ moral superior makes me feel good about myself.
  • If there really is a god I’m hoping to impress it with my piety so I show it off at every opportunity.
  • What use is religion if you can’t use it as a weapon when you need to?
  • What use is religion if you can’t use it to try to elevate yourself above other people?
  • I’d really like to abuse you physically but I can only use words and make-believe.

Isn’t it great the way religion can be used against other people is so many different ways? Has mankind ever devised any better source of excuses for the morally bankrupt than religion?

0 comments