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Things I Say While I’m Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing? What. The Fuck. Are you doing.

Me: NICE BLINKER, ASSHOLE!

Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going the speed limit? WHY?

Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Me: Shit, is that a cop? No.

Me: Shit, THAT is a cop.

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Movie Review

While I am not a big fan of Tom Cruise, Oblivion was surprisingly good. In fact, I’d go so far as to give it an 8 out of 10. It’s one of those films that left me thinking about it hours later.

As many reviews have stated, the visuals are absolutely stunning. In a lot of films, CGI often overpowers the storytelling, but in this case it it simply blended seamlessly into it. And while I hate to admit it, Mr. Cruise is a decent enough actor that I can ignore the Crazytown bubbling beneath the surface of his real life to accept the character he’s playing as believable.

Damn, I want that house in the sky. (And of course the vehicle required to go to and from the place.)

I also have to applaud the storyline. Yes, it used a dozen well-worn tropes of science fiction, but combined them in a way that still seemed fresh, and while there were a few plot holes left unanswered (exactly how did that mountain paradise escape destruction?) they were minor in comparison to some other recent big-budget highly anticipated sci-fi I’ve seen (cough, Prometheus, cough).

I didn’t see the plot twist coming, which is always a good thing as far as I’m concerned. Surprise me, Hollywood. Make me walk out of a theater not feeling like I’d just fed fifteen dollars into a shredder.

It was also a very pleasant surprise that when the true nature of the invaders was finally revealed, it wasn’t a hoard of rubber-masked applied-prosthetic bipeds.

And the OST by M83 is pretty damn good too.

 

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I’ll Pray for You

From Rosa Rubicondior:

What the Pious really mean.

I’ll pray for you because:

  • If I tell the truth and say I hate you people won’t think I’m a kind, caring person.
  • I want you to think I have some power over you that you can’t do anything about.
  • I like to think I have some power over you that you can’t do anything about.
  • I like to think I have an invisible friend who gets those who won’t agree with me about everything.
  • I can’t be bothered to learn stuff but I want people to think I’m better than you in some way.
  • I want you to feel guilty about beating me in an argument because I should be allowed to win every time even though I can’t be bothered to learn stuff.
  • You won’t agree with me so I’ll try threatening you with my really powerful imaginary friend.
  • I want people to think I’m religious because I’m hoping to get away with people thinking I’m a person they can trust.
  • I can’t counter your argument so I want to threaten you whilst making other people think I’m your morally superior.
  • I want my friends to be impressed with my smugly self-satisfied piety.
  • I want people to think I’m so special I have a close personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe who makes my wishes come true.
  • It costs me nothing and is much easier than doing something practical to help.
  • Pretending to be other peoples’ moral superior makes me feel good about myself.
  • If there really is a god I’m hoping to impress it with my piety so I show it off at every opportunity.
  • What use is religion if you can’t use it as a weapon when you need to?
  • What use is religion if you can’t use it to try to elevate yourself above other people?
  • I’d really like to abuse you physically but I can only use words and make-believe.

Isn’t it great the way religion can be used against other people is so many different ways? Has mankind ever devised any better source of excuses for the morally bankrupt than religion?

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Ten

With everything else that’s happened in my life since the start of 2013, I’m not surprised that a rather important anniversary slipped by under the radar.

I am now a ten-year cancer survivor.

April 1st came and went this year with none of the fanfare my 5-year anniversary garnered. I guess it was a combination of everything else that’s been going on coupled with a clean exam last November and the doctor’s pronouncement, “At this point, for all intents you’re cured and can relax. See me in two years,” that put this on the back burner in my mind.

That’s not to say I hadn’t thought about about it entirely. Almost immediately after getting inked for my 5-year anniversary (something that did not turn out the way I’d hoped; something you’ll remember if you’ve been reading the various incarnations of my ramblings for that long) I started wondering what I’d do for the big one-oh.

About a year ago it hit me.

Ten, ten, TEN:

Because I like dual meanings.

And who have I chosen to poke me, to guarantee that this time will not be a repeat of the last? Why, Erik of course!

Ben and I are planning a road trip in August, and a visit to Pea Ridge is definitely on the agenda.

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