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So Much Hate

So the folks over at iFixit (the guys who snap up each new piece of hardware Apple releases and immediately tear it apart) have their panties in a bunch because the EPEAT (Electronic Product Environmental Assessment Tool) recently announced that Apple’s retina MacBook Pro meets their gold standard when it comes to environmental performance—and they are not amused.

While some of iFixit’s concerns may be legitimate, their latest screed reads like so many sour grapes. They’ve had a unapologetic bias against the Retina MacBook Pro since they first tore one apart and haven’t let up since.

Apple announced they were leaving the EPEAT registry soon after they released a slew of new laptops this summer, including the MacBook Pro with Retina display. We wondered why it was the first Apple laptop in recent memory not listed in the EPEAT registry: when we took it apart, we learned it was glued together and completely non-upgradeable. The RAM was soldered in, the SSD storage used a proprietary interface, the battery was secured to the case with impressively strong glue, and the case was held together using proprietary screws.

We know that Apple’s products aren’t green: iPods routinely fail after a couple years. Just about everyone I know has a dead iPod in a drawer somewhere. Apple’s design trend is toward glued-together products with batteries that may fail after 12-24 months—they make repair so difficult that people rarely replace the batteries, opting instead to buy a replacement device.

Creating products designed to require replacement every couple years has a substantial impact. Apple publicly discloses that 61% of their environmental impact comes from manufacturing—everything from mining the coltan in smartphones and the rare-earth elements in computers to factory workers cleaning display glass with toxic chemicals. The process of manufacturing electronics is incredibly damaging to the environment. The more products Apple makes, the larger its impact.

Given their penchant for throwaway product design, it seemed inevitable that Apple would leave the green computer registry. But when they announced their withdrawal, it sparked a fierce backlash. Institutional purchasers, including the City of San Francisco, announced they were banning the purchase of Apple laptops. During a recent trip to Washington, DC, I heard from reliable sources that numerous federal government agencies, including the Department of Defense, were prepared to ban procurement of Apple products.

In a nutshell, it seems they’re whining because you can’t open the RMPB up with a philips head screwdriver, swap out the internals or recycle the parts and because Apple might have “greased the wheels” of EPEAT in order to get the certification. Well guys, people who want to mess around with their devices don’t buy Retina MacBook Pros. They also don’t buy MacBook Airs. People buy these products because they’re thin and lightweight—and you’re not going to get that using off-the-shelf, swappable components.

Further, I dare say the majority of people who buy Apple products have no desire whatsoever to tinker with their equipment after the purchase. If you want to swap out RAM or processors, or upgrade your storage to the latest and greatest, you buy a Dell, or some other piece of disposable plastic crap—or build your own from parts—and then congratulate yourself and thump your chest for keeping the thing alive beyond the typical life span these things are designed for. That’s all well and good for a lot of people and I in no may mean to belittle that hobby (lord knows I did it for decades), but I’m now so far past any desire to do those kind of calisthenics in order to write, or do photo editing, or read my email or look at LOLcats I can’t be bothered. Give me something that works and will provide me 3-5 years of service and I’m happy. When the software progresses to the point it won’t run on the hardware I have (or you wow me with something new that’s so incredible I’m compelled to upgrade) then I’ll sell it and move on. The equipment I’ve outgrown could be someone else’s dream.

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I Had Every Intention of Waiting Until the Hysteria Subsided…


…and Apple had time to work out the scratched-right-out-of-the-box issues I’d been reading about and the general inability to actually buy one and get it before the Mayan Apocaplyse, but a combination of my current contact with Verizon being conveniently up for renewal and learning of a not widely advertised method of ordering one and getting it the next day changed my mind.

It works like this: you go onto Apple’s website and place your order between the hours of 10pm and 4am and then select in-store pickup for the next day. Apparently Apple has a certain percentage of phones held in reserve in each store for this very purpose. With even Verizon quoting me a delivery date well into November, I figured I had nothing to lose by trying this.

I really didn’t think it would work, so I was simultaneously surprised and elated when I placed the order last night and the configuration I wanted popped up as available for pickup in the Lakewood store.

I had previously arranged to take today off, so this morning, after receiving the confirmation email from Apple, I drove over to Lakewood and picked up the shiny new Precious. Not a scratch or nick on it. Relieved. Setup and transfer of all my apps was about as painless as possible, and while I had some initial buyers remorse when I hit that buy button last night, I’m quite happy with the purchase.

 

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Gleeful

“I sometimes have the feeling that we should kiss.”

“I sometimes have the feeling I should do crystal meth, but then  I think, hmmm…better not.”

This past weekend Ben and I saw Pitch Perfect. It wasn’t a film that was even on my radar, but it had been months since we’d gone to a movie and this seemed to be a good escape.

I went in with no expectations and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It was everything—and more—that made the first season of Glee so delightful until it transformed into the hot mess it’s become. Great songs, good singing, cute boys (and girls, if you’re into that) and characters that you generally come to care about (or at least want to bitch slap).

“Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy.”

I liked it so much I even got the soundtrack off iTunes…

Highly recommended. Go see it.

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Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I can’t take much more of this election bullshit.

You can’t watch a YouTube video without first being assaulted by either Romney or Obama telling you how horrible the other one is. While I agree with Obama and will be voting for him, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just closed my browser rather than sit through another minute of this crap. No video in the world is worth it.

And television? I guess by living in one of the “battleground” (Why is everything steeped in war terminology?) states, I can pretty much forget about seeing any sort of ad for the next three and a half weeks that doesn’t involve one candidate or another calling the other one the Antichrist—and in the case of the Republicans—just spewing outright lies. “Let’s just throw out this shit and see what sticks.”

You’re right, Mr. Romney, I’m one of the 47% who will never vote for you, or any of your downstream cronies. The Republican party is toxic waste, full of aging racist bigots who will say or do anything for no other reason than to simply “get that Nigger out of the White House.”

I’m not thrilled with Obama, but the alternative is just too horrific to contemplate. Can you imagine the mess this country would be in right now if McCain got elected? With Sarah Palin in tow? Sarah. Fucking. Palin. A Romney/Ryan win would all but guarantee a similar—if not worse—scenario. Can you say “Endless War?”

At this point, if a Republican announces that he or she is against anything, I’m voting for it because you know whatever it is, it has the potential for hurting the their corporate masters—otherwise they wouldn’t be whining.

And while we’re on the subject Mittens, just because you got a little bump in the polls after the debate and the Reich Wing are orgasming their panties into a frothy mix over it doesn’t mean the missus should go measuring for drapes just yet.

I’m sure there are people on the other side of aisle (i.e. willfully low-information voters who are immune to basic reality and too lazy to research anything beyond what Faux News tells them) who feel the same way about Obama and the Democrats. That leaves the mythic “middle ground” voters that the two parties are trying to woo.

I call bullshit. If you’re in the “middle” and at this point still haven’t made up your mind who you’re voting for, you have no business going anywhere near a voting booth and should instead simply stay home November 6th and try to decide what color socks you’re going to wear that day, because you’re an idiot.

 

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