Category: Work

Every now and then, when a new colleague joins us at work, it can be almost painfully obvious that, for better or worse, they are not a good fit at the company.

Often resulting on people hedging bets for how long they might last.

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Some people defy the odds, and persevere for months, even years, until they finally find something better.

Others waste no time in getting out of there before anyone has the time to say "severance package".

On rare occasions, they might have handed in their notice before their first day of work was even over.

Redditor OlyVirg was eager to hear tales of the speediest resignations people ever witnessed from their colleagues, leading them to ask:

"What's the quickest you've seen a new coworker quit?"

Literally Not The Job They Signed Up For

"A woman I was training for a supervisor role at my previous job quit before lunch the first day."

"I began the supervisor training and she said 'I wasn't hired as a supervisor, I was hired as an account manager'."

"I contacted my boss asking if there was a mixup with the training schedule, but there was not."

"Apparently they hired her as an account manager then downgraded her without letting her know."

"When she met with HR they said 'strategic moves' had to be made for optimization."

"She quit on the spot."

"I quit shortly after that because the company was up to other shady stuff."- showe1lj

Not The Agreed Upon Hours

"Me."

"I was hired as a dishwasher at a restaurant downtown."

"Buses stopped at midnight, but I was guaranteed I'd be off in time for the last bus."

"I was scheduled to start on a Friday night, starting at 6, I was told the first shift was a training shift and shorter than usual."

"I get there and they tell me 'hey there's supposed to be 3 dishwashers, but one guy was at 2 months but didn't show up, and the other guy got pulled to prep chef tonight'."

"I'm busting a**, the head chef comes by during lunch, I ask what's the plan for when I'm gone at 12 'what do you mean? The shift is 6pm-2am?'."

"He strings me along most of the night saying he'll get me a ride home with someone that lives on my side of town."

"'One way or another we'll get you home'."

"At 1130 I go to him 'hey so who's driving me home?'"

"'Oh I couldn't find anyone that lives on your side of town'."

"'You'll have to cab or something'."

"'cool'."

"And I walked out and never came back."

"Lol."- -retaliation-

Nobody Knows, Like Dominos…

"'Sent a lady out on her first solo delivery at Dominos (this was around 2013)'."

"After she's been gone for over an hour on a delivery that should've taken 30 minutes max, I give her a call."

"She said she's on her way back to the store."

"She shows up, turns in her uniform and says she had to run home because she got nervous and pooped herself."

"She doesn't think this job is for her and she quits."

"The uniform is a shirt and hat, employees provided their own pants."

"Yes, we still threw the shirt and hat away lol."

"No, she did not deliver the pizza, we remade it and sent it with someone else."- quakthunder

There's a Reason People Ask You Not To Disclose Your Salary…

"I quit the day before i started."

"Accepted a job at x amount of pay."

"The day before I was to start they called me and said 'we didn't know you went to nursing school with some of our workers and we told them what you'd be making hourly and they threatened to quit unless we pay you $3hr less than what was agreed upon'."

"I beg your pardon?"

"F*ck riiiight off."- ifyoubugher

Snap Out Of It!

"My mom lasted about 3 hours as a waitress."

"Some guy kept snapping his fingers and my mom assumed he was just snapping so she ignored it."

"The woman training her said, 'He wants coffee. That's why he's snapping'."

"My mom said, 'Then he can ask for it like a grown up'."

"It was loud enough for the guy to hear and he called my mom a b*tch."

"She took of her apron and walked out."

"She was around 17."

"When she walked in the door my grandmom said, 'Wow, you lasted longer than I thought you would'."- Johannes_Chimp

When The EMPLOYER Doesn't Even Read The Job Description…

"I quit literally five minutes into a job."

"The interviewer made it pretty clear it was a delivery job, not a sales job."

"I go into work the first day and the manager tells us we need to load up the trucks and start selling."

"No."- john_snape

Know Your Own Worth!

"I guess me."

"A college retail job, I showed up the first day and they said there was a mixup about how much they were able to pay me vs. what they had told me on the phone."

"It ended up being slightly less per hour than I was making at my current job, instead of slightly more."

"Luckily I hadn't quit the current job yet."

"I said I was only staying on if they could give me the rate agreed upon…they called or pretended to call somebody, came back and said there's nothing they could do."

"Welp, sorry it didn't work out."

"I think I got a paycheck for the exactly 1 hour of standing around talking about it that we did."- Orange_Kid

Work Here If You Dare…

"When I worked at the nursing home, the maintenance/housekeeping supervisor quit without notice."

"Two weeks later they hired this guy who supposed managed the maintenance department at a 400 bed facility."

"We had a two hours long meeting with this guy where he was telling us how he was going to whip the place into shape and how he was going to do this, that, and the other."

"Had us voicing all of our grievances, he was taking notes, etc."

"He really seemed like a gung-ho type of dude."

"He left the facility on his lunch break that day and never came back."- rosesforthemonsters

Two Can Play At This Game

"I had an interview and was told the salary was X."

"I was offered the job but I was informed a mistake had been made and the salary was a fair chunk less than I'd been told at the interview."

"I replied 'No problem, when do I start? Tomorrow at 8am? Great, see you then'."

"I put their number on silent, didn't show up and those time wasting muppets kept calling me for far longer than I ever would have imagined well into the following week.."- Amphibian_Upbeat

Time Was NOT On Their Side…

"Our previous timekeeper was going to resign so they hired a new guy."

"Guy comes in for his first day, realized how big the company is and without proper training or handover he was just expected to do it immediately."

"Dude never came back the next day."

"Everyone panicked coz there was no timekeeper and pay day is 2 days away."- prettyisabellaxoxo

Maybe She Hadn't Had Her Morning Coffee Yet?

"45 minutes into her first Dunkin Donuts shift."

"I was showing her what buttons to press on the cream and sugar dispenser when she suddenly said, 'I can't do this'."

"And she walked out and started walking 5 miles home."

"The local bus passed by ten minutes later."

"Yeah, I don't know."

"She had something going on with her personal life for sure."- Chazkuangshi

Yeah… No Sympathy Here…

"At the door before he even got clocked in."

"He parked in front of the building in customer parking and in a handicapped spot."

"When he was asked to park around back in employee parking, which was actually closer to where his job was, he lost his sh*t, went on a rant about his freedoms and that he wasn't working anywhere that made employees use the servants entrance."

"Pretty sure he heard the laughter erupt when he stormed out."- bluecheetos

Can You Say "Workman's Comp"?

"About 20 mins."

"Used to work at a furniture warehouse back in the day."

"Offloading trucks was brutal."

"His first truck, we open the trailer… It's our +300 lbs tables."

"Even I was like FML, I hate these, these are the absolute worse."

"They truly were the worst of it."

"And that was his introduction."

"He offloads 2 tables."

"Went to the 'washroom'."

"We never saw him again."- MckittenMan

Why Even Bother Showing Up?

"Seen some quit on the first day before."

"Funniest story is someone getting fired on the first day."

"Worked in retail."

"Before we open we have our daily meeting to go over the plan for the day."

"The store manager asked another manager to address the team while he stood there and watched."

"We had a new guy."

"It was his first day."

"While the manager (let's call him Brian) was addressing the crew the new guy kept making fun of him."

"Like you might make fun of a buddy where you tell inside jokes to each other."

"The thing is, it was his first day and nobody knew him."

"He also went way over the line saying things like 'Brian is gay' and 'that's what she said'."

"Just really cringey stuff."

"The store manager noticed."

"When Brian finished, he called all the managers into the office."

"He didn't tell any of us what was going on."

"We just assumed we were making final preparations before opening."

"He called the new guy into the office (let's call him Glen)."

"'Glen, please come to the sales office'."

"We are all getting ready for the day."

"Organizing paper work etc and Glen walks in."

"Store Manager: 'Let's talk about your short time working here NOW THAT IT HAS COME TO AN END'….."

"All the managers froze and just watched."

"Glen kept trying to justify his inappropriate behavior during the meeting in the office and he kept getting more and more pissed as none of us had his back (why would we?)."

"He was ready to barge out of the store (the door was locked because it is retail and we weren't open yet)."

"Instead he ran into the door."

"Now we all f*cking laughed."

"One of the managers unlocked the door and let him out."

"He peeled out of the parking lot pissed."

"Never to be heard from again…."- atx620

Morals Cannot Be Compromised!!!

"When I worked at Nabisco, at about 10 AM on his first day, another contractor turned to me and asked 'Is Nabisco owned by a tobacco company?'"

"I said, yes, but that we really had nothing to do with them."

"He got up and walked out."- JustSomeGuy_56

When you know something isn't a good fit, there really isn't much point prolonging the agony; better to get out while the getting is good.

[source]

And for those of you who haven't been with me from the beginning and haven't heard the story, you can add me to this list…