Category: Work

Well, maybe not like, but at least tolerate. Even through the lockdown I was a diligent, engaged employee. Showered, dressed, and clocking in promptly at my usual start time, even notifying the team by text when I was taking a break or going to lunch.

But then we were all called back into the office 3 days a week under a new overseer we not-so-affectionately refer to as Cuntula. I remember our first skip-level one-on-one where I said I wished that we could all go back to full time WFH—and she countered that if it were up to her, EVERYONE would be back in the office five days a week—and we should be grateful for the two days we are allowed to WFH. And that was it. And that was when I stopped giving her the benefit of the doubt. We would never see eye to eye on anything…

She quickly turned into a micromanager—because she didn't have a clue what she was doing—stepping over our immediate supervisor to assign tasks or critique our work. Thankfully, our supervisor (who is a great guy, by the way) stood up to her and made it clear we were his team to manage how he saw fit. Of course she didn't like that, and while she backed off, there was a lot going on behind the scenes for the next year that culminated with my supervisor putting in his notice (pending a positive background check and transfer to a different division) a few months ago.

About a year ago, we acquired a new senior tech who transferred in from a different division. I worked under him when I first came on here, and had utmost respect for him and the way he conducted business. He's proven time and again that he was the best choice for the role, but when he was hired, there was the buffer of our aforementioned supervisor between him and Cuntula. Not so any more. She's micromanaging him, and they've butted heads on numerous occasions now, so while I respect and admire what he's taken on—more than he was anticipating when he accepted the position, I'm sure—I'm positive his time here is numbered as well.

So in short, Cuntula has poisoned the department. I know the majority of her theatrics are because she's a middle manager and therefore has to constantly justify her job, but I still can't seem to muster any sympathy for the bitch. I'm not quite to the point where I was with DISH (Do I go to work, or do I drive my car off a freeway overpass on my way?), but my stress level is where there are days I come home, eat dinner, and then just pass out for the remainder of the evening until Ben wakes me up to go to bed.

Why, I don't know—other than it makes Cuntula feel good that she's micromanaging. When she came on board a year and a half (gawd…has it only been that long?) ago, she made a point of telling everyone that it was now expected that we take "a minimum" of two (employer paid-for) training classes per year so we can "grow our careers." I pointed out to her directly that I was a a few short years out from retirement and wouldn't be "growing my career" any further. It didn't matter. RULES ARE RULES.

If pressed, the two things I was interested in learning more about were Adobe Photoshop (something I'm fairly comfortable with, but by no means an expert) and Adobe Illustrator (which I'm dumb stupid). In fact, prior to COVID (and well ahead of the bitch's arrival in the department) I was on track to take both courses, but all that fell apart the year we were all working from home. Upon returning to the office and the departure of the previous guy who held her position, BOTH courses were shot down as "not related to my job position." Even after myself and my immediate supervisor pointed out to her that we support people in the organization who do use these applications, it was still denied.

So fine, bitch. Whatever. Since she still gave us a choice as to what Microsoft only courses we could take, I resolved to take the simplest, the most-I-already-know-this-shit stuff I could find and then treat these week-long WFH remote learning sessions as mini-vacations. Since this edict was handed down, I've taken two basic Windows courses and a Sharepoint course that I basically slept through. The Windows courses were at least entertaining. The instructor was fantastic.

There was an additional course (Advanced Windows Troubleshooting) I'd signed up for last year that kept getting rescheduled because even though this was now a department requirement, it came with the stipulation that no two people could be out for training at the same time and it seemed this course was always scheduled for the same week one of my colleagues was already scheduled to be out. When I was finally able to find a session that did not collide with anyone else's training and got signed up, the training company canceled it altogether a week before it was scheduled because not enough people had signed up. So it got pushed back yet again.

So now, even though—with only a year left before retirement—my "professional development" requirement has finally been lifted, I went ahead kept my reservation for the course since it was already in the department budget. It was also an opportunity to blow off work for a week.

Well, training started yesterday and three hours in, it was obvious the instructor for this course was horrific. I genuinely enjoyed the prior instructors on the other courses, but this guy came off as an insecure, yet arrogant know-it-all, constantly requiring feedback and "engagement" from everyone in class.

Nope. That's not how I roll. It got so bad that at one point yesterday I was considering just blowing it off completely, closing zoom, and going back to work. Every prior class I've taken with this company has allowed me to basically watch and learn, and then go off and do the work without having to interact much with the instructor. When I didn't respond to one of his general questions directed to the class and he said, "Mark? Mark? Are you there? Did we lose Mark?" I private-messaged him and told him I was there and was listening, but didn't feel the need to respond to everything he said. "That's not how I take these classes."

"Oh…okay." He's left me alone since.

But he did lose me completely when he was explaining how to use the lab environment and said, "I'm browser neutral. You can use any one you like…except Safari. Safari isn't a real browser."

Oh…and then there was this:

And with that, I've mentally checked out with this guy. I'll attend the remaining lectures as background noise, but the labs can get fucked (not that it really matters one way or another). I'm basically in audit mode at this point.